by Penny Jordan
The Princess was a business client of Gideon’s, Courage reminded herself firmly; that was all. There was no reason for her to feel so insecure and jealous… Would she have wanted Gideon to take her in his arms in front of the other woman? No, of course she wouldn’t, she accepted. But nevertheless there was a forlorn and unhappy droop to her mouth when she finally removed the offending lilies, and she could not quite stop herself from glancing towards the stairs. Gideon and his guest were still up there somewhere… Together…
‘Wow, that Princess Maryam really is something else,’ Jenny commented forthrightly, rolling her eyes slightly when Courage called in to see her late that night on her return from her evening visit to her grandmother. ‘I thought Middle Eastern women were supposed to be docile and retiring…’
‘Not when you’re a member of the ruling royal family,’ Courage told her wryly.
She had discovered the Princess’s status during dinner, although why on earth Gideon had insisted on her joining them when the pair of them had barely had a word to spare for her throughout the meal, she really had no idea.
She had learned also that the Princess was a widow, and that her husband and brother-in-law had been killed during the Gulf War.
After dinner the Princess had announced that it was far too early for her even to think of going to bed, and had persuaded Gideon to take her out to a night-club. Not that he had needed very much persuading.
Courage had been on her way out herself when she had seen the pair of them crossing the hall. The Princess had been wearing a body-hugging black and silver full-length evening dress which showed off her figure to perfection. But it had been the sight of Gideon, looking impossibly, sensually male in a formal dinner-suit, that had made her heart lurch achingly against her ribs. She had had to bite down hard on her bottom lip and turn away from the sight of the pair of them together.
The Princess was simply a business associate of Gideon’s, she reminded herself again, and if Gideon had appeared to be ignoring her since his return, well, she was probably just being over-sensitive.
But somehow her reassurances had rung rather hollowly in her own ears, and now, learning from Jenny that Gideon and his guest had still not returned, she was filled with fresh misery as she pictured the pair of them dancing together—Mary am held in Gideon’s arms; Maryam dancing intimately close to Gideon’s body; Maryam enjoying the attention, sharing the intimacy that she, Courage, had been aching for…
It had been Maryam’s suggestion that they went out, Courage reminded herself fair-mindedly, not Gideon’s.
It had been bad enough longing for Gideon when he wasn’t there, but somehow this was even worse.
Don’t be silly, she chided herself, as she said goodnight to Jenny and walked the short distance to her own apartment. Gideon would never have made love to her if she hadn’t meant something very important to him. He simply wasn’t that kind of man.
Her hotel work had shown Courage the tell-tale signs that betrayed a man who was a heartless womaniser. But there had been no mysterious telephone calls for Gideon while he was away, no eager female voices demanding to speak with him, no request to her to send flowers or make hotel and dinner reservations. In short, none of the signs which would have revealed a casual, careless attitude on his part to emotional or sexual intimacy with her sex.
Of course, there were bound to have been other relationships in his life, she knew that.
What kind of relationship would the one they shared be? Her heart missed a beat and then started to hammer frantically against her chest wall. She knew what kind of relationship she wanted it to be: the kind that involved wedding-rings and making vows, the kind that included having children—several of them—the kind that involved celebrating their silver wedding together and hopefully their gold, the kind that involved love—not just on her part but on his as well.
All at once her eyes filled with tears. She wanted so much to be with him, to talk to him, to be held by him while she confirmed her love to him, while she admitted to him how often she had thought of him over the years. How often she had dreamed of him and yearned for him…
It was gone two o’clock before Gideon and the Princess returned. Courage was just on the point of falling asleep when she heard the car, followed by the sound of doors slamming and then the Princess’s laughter. Plainly she had enjoyed her evening. Had Gideon enjoyed it as well, or, like her, had he secretly been longing for an opportunity for them to be alone together? Courage wondered.
She held on to that comforting thought as she tried to get back to sleep, but it was no real compensation for Gideon. He was the one she really wanted to be holding on to and to be held by.
Her stomach quivered as her body reacted to the thought of sharing such intimacy with him, of lying next to him, sleeping in the same bed… Waking up to the warm drift of his hands over her body, knowing how much he wanted her…how much he loved her.
At least the Princess would not be staying long, Courage comforted herself. She had learned over dinner that the reason she had not been able to trace any record of Gideon’s return to Heathrow on a scheduled flight had been because he had flown back on the Princess’s private jet, and that she had business in New York in connection with her late husband’s estate, which meant that she would have to leave the following afternoon.
Courage had never thought of herself as an insecure or jealous woman before, but then she had never felt for any other man what she felt for Gideon. Had never loved any man, never ached or yearned for any other man the way she now did for Gideon.
Determinedly she tried to banish from her mind the tormenting image of the Princess. Tomorrow Maryam would be gone. Tomorrow she and Gideon would be alone and able to talk.
Tomorrow… Tiredly she slid into an uneasy sleep.
CHAPTER TEN
‘GIDEON not back yet…? Looks like he’s taking his time saying goodbye to Her Highness. Not that she’d have any objection to that. From the way she was looking at him over breakfast this morning it was pretty obvious that she’d rather have been sinking her teeth into him than into my croissants.’
Jenny laughed and then stopped, frowning as she saw Courage’s expression.
‘Is anything wrong?’ she asked her in concern. ‘Is it your grandmother? Has something…?’
‘No, Gran’s fine,’ Courage mumbled, turning her head away from her. How could she tell Jenny that it had been her comments about the Princess which had upset her?
‘Are you sure?’ Jenny persisted, obviously not convinced. ‘I know I said I’d have this evening off, but I can always cancel my arrangements and stay if—’
‘No…no, you mustn’t do that,’ Courage told her. ‘I…I’m probably just feeling a little bit stressed from the build-up to Gran’s operation. Even though everything’s gone well, I…’
‘I know exactly what you mean.’ Jenny agreed comfortingly.
‘If you’re going to make it to London in time for your theatre date, you’d better go and start getting ready,’ Courage warned her.
‘You’re right,’ Jenny agreed as she glanced at her watch. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind? It’s just that my friend booked the tickets months ago, and…’
‘Of course I don’t mind,’ Courage assured her firmly.
‘I’ve left some cold salmon and a salad in the fridge, and there’s some raspberry mousse and—’
‘Go and get ready,’ Courage interrupted her.
Food was the last thing she wanted. She was too nervous… too on edge…
Nervous… On edge… At the thought of seeing Gideon—of being alone with him… A small frown crinkled her forehead.
Surely that nervousness should really be excitement? That edginess a deliciously wanton sensual tension? The words she had chosen suggested that she was apprehensive about seeing Gideon rather than eager.
Some old friends were visiting her grandmother this evening, leaving Courage free to catch up on her work, and since it wasn’t the cleaning
team’s scheduled day to come in, and rather than have the added expense of an extra visit to put down on her accounts, Courage decided to clean through the Princess’s room herself.
It wouldn’t take long. After all, it was only a matter of stripping the bed, removing the flowers and the used bedlinen and towels, checking to make sure that the Princess hadn’t left anything behind and then leaving the rest until the cleaning team came in the following day.
Courage smiled a little ruefully to herself as she mounted the stairs, heading for the guest-suite the Princess had occupied. These good housekeeping traits of hers, which her Swiss employers had always admired and praised, had their roots in her grandmother’s insistence that there was no point in putting off a job or in making extra work for oneself. ‘Clean as you go’ had been the motto she had instilled in Courage as a teenager.
It had been a hot, sultry day, with the threat of thunder hanging in the air all through the afternoon, and after she had finished her office work Courage had showered and changed into a pair of patterned black and white leggings and a short, sleeveless white square-necked top which, while not provocatively or fashionably midriff-revealing, was still boxy enough to allow a welcome current of air to touch her skin.
Outside the door to the guest-suite the Princess had used, she hesitated warily. What was she afraid she would find inside? Evidence that Maryam and Gideon had spent the night together? The imprint of two heads on the pristine white pillows instead of one?
What was wrong with her? She already knew that Gideon was not sexually or emotionally promiscuous. Just because he had allowed Maryam to flirt with him over dinner it did not mean that he had gone to bed with her.
The huge wave of sick misery that drenched her at the thought of Gideon—her Gideon—even smiling at the other woman, never mind anything else, shocked her. She wasn’t used to having these kinds of dark, self-punishing thoughts. Why in the world should she think that Gideon would want anyone else? She ought to be feeling happy, excited, not filled with anxiety and pain.
It was because their relationship was so new, she comforted herself. She would feel better once they had talked—once she had told Gideon about her past…their past… and the role she had unwittingly played in her stepfather’s abuse of the authority he had had over Gideon. She, after all, had been tricked by her stepsister just as much as Gideon himself. The guilt she had carried with her all down the years was the guilt of a frightened child, fearful of somehow being blamed for the wrongdoings of others.
As her grandmother had said at the time, Gideon had no doubt very quickly realised that Courage had been just as much of a dupe in the game that her stepfather and sister had played with one another as he had himself.
There had been many, many times over the years when she had wondered what had happened to him after he had been dismissed by the firm who employed him, but she had never come anywhere near guessing the truth.
She opened the door and walked into the bedroom. The large double bed pillows bore the imprint of only one head, she noticed, her face flushing slightly even though she was alone in the room as she quickly turned her head away.
The rich, expensive scent of the Princess’s perfume still hung heavily on the air, causing Courage to wrinkle her nose slightly and immediately head for the windows to open them. Perhaps to a man such a powerfully strong scent was sexy, but Courage found it too strong and cloying.
Damp towels littered the bathroom floor, and when Courage went to pick up the wastepaper bin, prior to emptying it, she was startled to see that it contained the Princess’s discarded underwear—the briefest of push-up bras in delicate silk and a minuscule matching tanga. The two together had probably cost more than she spent on her underwear in a decade, Courage reflected as she removed them from the bin and put them on one side for laundering and returning to their owner.
She sympathised with the Princess in not wanting to carry worn linen in her luggage, but to throw them away… What it must be like to be so rich… And yet Courage did not really envy her.
Carefully placing the Princess’s underwear on top of the used towels, so that they didn’t accidentally get mixed up with them, Courage checked the bathroom for anything else the Princess might have left behind and then returned to the bedroom and started to strip the bed.
Outside, the early evening sky had turned a dull sulphur colour, and she could hear thunder growling in the distance. Would Gideon return this evening, or would it be tomorrow before she saw him? He had given no indication of when he intended to return—perhaps he might even decide to stay overnight in London. The thunder was coming closer, and lightning zigzagged across the sky, a handful of huge raindrops exploding against the window-pane without doing anything to dissipate the heavy, sultry atmosphere.
The guest-suite was at the back of the house and had an excellent view of the grounds and the hills far away in the distance. As she went to close the window against the rain Courage thought she heard a door slamming somewhere else in the house.
She frowned, wondering if there was another window open somewhere, and then went back to her self-imposed task of neatly folding the sheets she had just removed from the bed.
She was still engaged in this task, her back to the closed door, when it suddenly opened, and she whirled round just in time to see Gideon come striding in.
Immediately the sheet was forgotten, sliding from her fingers, and her face was alight with her emotions as she moved impulsively towards him, exclaiming happily, ‘Oh, Gideon, you’re back… Oh, I’m—’
‘What the hell are you doing in here?’
The harsh tone of his voice confused her. She looked uncertainly at him. ‘I was checking the room and—’
‘Checking it—what for?’ Gideon was frowning as he looked round. Courage saw his frown deepen as he focused on the neat pile of damp towels and the underwear on top of it.
‘I thought we employed a team of cleaners for this kind of work…’
‘We do,’ Courage agreed. ‘But sometimes guests in advertently leave things behind, or—’
‘And you like to have first pickings?’
Courage’s eyes widened as he strode past her and picked up the Princess’s discarded underwear.
‘And what exactly did you intend to do with these?’
Courage stared at him, totally thrown by his remarks and his anger.
‘I was going to arrange for them to be laundered and then returned to the Princess,’ she told him, giving him a puzzled look.
What was wrong? Why was he so angry? She took a hesitant step towards him. It must be her imagination, she reassured herself. He couldn’t possibly believe, as she had begun to think, that she had actually intended to keep the Princess’s thrown-away underwear, like some poor, unfortunate down-and-out searching through dustbins or scavenging for food… The very idea was unthinkable… insulting.
Gideon was looking away from her, staring towards the window. He looked tired, she recognised. Her heart melted with love for him, her emotions overwhelming her. Reaching out tentatively towards him, she touched his arm gently.
‘I’ve… I’ve missed you,’ she told him shyly. ‘I…’
He was looking at her now, and her face flooded with soft colour as she saw the way his glance fell from her face to her body and then lingered there. Her heart started to race, a now-familiar yearning ache building up inside her body.
‘I…I need to talk to you, Gideon,’ she told him huskily. ‘There’s something I need to tell you… It’s…it’s rather important.’
If he took her in his arms now she would never be able to concentrate enough to tell him about the past, she recognized dizzily. If he…
‘Important!’
The harsh tone of his voice startled her.
‘I see. And just what is this “important” conversation you want to have? Or can I guess…? You want to tell me that you can’t afford to repay the money you’ve borrowed from me, that you need more time—is that it?’
Courage stared at him. How had he known about that? A puzzled frown creased her forehead.
‘I… I was going to ask you about that,’ she admitted. ‘But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about now.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I know this might sound…strange, but you and I…we’ve met before…’ Courage paused, risking a brief, appealing glance into Gideon’s eyes before looking hurriedly away again and continuing.
‘You may not remember. Well, I don’t suppose you do. It was a very long time ago and it wasn’t—Well, the circumstances—’
‘On the contrary. I remember it very well.’
The hard, incisive tone of his voice checked her.
‘You do?’ she asked doubtfully. ‘But you never said anything. You—’
‘Neither did you,’ Gideon pointed out.
Courage could feel the hot flush scorching her skin.
‘That was because…I didn’t really know. I wasn’t really sure, until the… the other night.’
‘The other night?’ Gideon questioned sharply.
‘Yes,’ Courage admitted.
Gideon had, after all, every right to be angry with her, since he had obviously recognised her right from the start, while she…
‘I…I did think I recognised your voice,’ she told him huskily. ‘But it wasn’t until…until you k-k-kissed me that I really knew it was you… It was dark that night— the night we met,’ she reminded him shakily. ‘I never really saw your face. And—’
‘You never saw my face but you recognised my kisses after all this time—all the other men who have undoubtedly passed through your life. Oh, please. Exactly what kind of fool do you take me for?’ Gideon interrupted her angrily. ‘Not the same one you and your sister set up so easily between you… Do you know what your little piece of fun cost me? Do you? What happened to her, by the way?’ he demanded.
‘She’s… she’s living abroad somewhere with her father,’ Courage stammered. ‘We don’t…we don’t keep in touch…’