by JoAnn Durgin
“I meant,” she sputtered. She felt the flush invading her cheeks. Why did I have to say anything? She looked around for Chloe, not wanting her to see them together like this as she disengaged herself from his arms. She avoided looking at him. It was too distracting, especially with the top two buttons of his shirt undone. Keep me strong, Lord.
“Relax. I know what you meant. Chloe ran upstairs already.”
“She did? Well, that’s rather rude. I’m sorry.”
“Why? No harm done. She’s a typical kid, and I wouldn’t expect anything less. I’m wondering if she’ll find the secret hiding place.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“Remember I told you how the house is new, but it’s made to look old? Come on. I’ll show you as part of the second floor tour.” She allowed him to take her hand as he led the way up the staircase to the second floor. With each step, she wondered if he’d show her his bedroom. That seemed almost too personal. He paused as they reached the top. “You have me puzzled with all these interesting looks today.”
“Don’t dig too deep, Josh.”
He gave her a look that said this conversation’s not over. “This is one of the guest bedrooms,” he said, opening the door to a bedroom at the front of the house. The oak, full-size, four-poster bed in the middle of the room was covered with an elegant, floral comforter in shades of sage green and soft yellow. The matching triple dresser and tables on either side of the bed were beautifully made and looked antique, and curtains matching the comforter framed the windows.
Winnie drew in a breath. “This is so pretty.”
“Thanks.” She could tell her approval pleased him. “This is Beck’s room when she stays the night. She doesn’t stay over often, but it’s ready when she does. And this,” he told her, moving to the back of the house again, “is the other guest bedroom. It’s where Mom and Dad always stay.” His voice was tinged with sadness. Winnie slipped her hand in his again as they walked into the room. It had a queen-size canopy bed made from oak and covered in an ivory silk bedspread with a running pattern woven in gold filigree. Matching pillows sat on a window seat in front of the large window. A settee, rocking chair, a high dresser and end tables completed the charming look.
“Who’s your decorator?” she asked, stepping closer to run her finger along the intricate needlework design in the bedspread. It appeared to be hand-stitched. “Everything’s so beautiful,” she said, knowing full well how wistful she sounded.
“Would you believe me if I told you I picked out everything myself?”
“No.” She laughed. “I might worry about you if you did.”
He laughed with her. “Mom and Beck did it all. A lot of this furniture came from my grandparents on Mom’s side. Rebekah has a lot of the furniture from Dad’s family.” It was one of the first times since the funeral service she’d heard Josh mention Lucas Grant without the familiar sadness surfacing in either his eyes or his voice. “These two bedrooms share a bath, and there’s a half-bath downstairs. Do you want to see them?”
She shook her head. “That’s okay, thanks.” She had no idea a bachelor would have such a wonderful house. Pity he wasn’t home much, but at least he had a great place to call home.
“We’re not done,” Josh said next, taking her hand again and pulling her along behind him. He stopped in the middle of the hallway. “Do you not want to see my bedroom for some reason?”
She avoided his gaze. “It just seems so personal.”
“Please?”
Why he seemed so determined, she had no idea. Humoring him seemed best. “Fine. Lead the way.” Stepping inside the doorway behind him, she looked around and smiled. “Aha!” she said. “Now, this is a man’s room.” Even though it was a very handsome room, the bed had obviously been made in haste and a trail of clothes littered the floor. The bedroom had a plaid comforter with deep, rich jewel tones in green, blue and maroon accented by the colors in the matching rugs on the hardwood floors. The furniture was a medium wood she couldn’t identify and offset the darker tones of the decor.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, bending down to pick up socks, pants and a shirt or two. Throwing them across an armchair, he shot her a sheepish grin.
“Don’t be. Now I know you’re human. I was beginning to think you had some kind of neat fetish, or else you just rented this place for show.”
Josh laughed and waved his hand to one corner of the master bedroom. “My bathroom’s back there and you’d know without a doubt I’m human if you dared set foot in there. I wouldn’t advise it. Although it does have a sunken tub which is pretty cool. I never use it, only the shower stall.” He caught her look. “Sorry. Too personal?”
“Of course not,” she lied. Time to change the subject. “So, where do you think we’ll find Miss Chloe?”
“I’m thinking she might be in here somewhere,” he said, walking back out into the hallway. Stopping midway next to what must be the upstairs bath with its door closed, he leaned down and pulled a handle on a small door. Opening it, Josh poked his head inside. “Is there a little girl named Chloe in here?”
Surprised, Winnie stepped back. She heard her daughter’s giggle before she glimpsed the blonde hair.
“I’m here,” Chloe said.
Sunshine from a window on the side of the house flooded into the small space, the perfect place for someone Chloe’s size. It was otherwise empty, but it was easy to see why it would be a favorite hiding place.
“Ready to go back downstairs, Buttercup?” When Chloe scooted out, Winnie kissed the top of her head. “Isn’t this a beautiful house?”
“Yup. Can we live here, Mommy?”
“Chloe, let me show you the backyard,” Josh said, sparing her having to answer. After all, she’d asked the very same question a few minutes before. He held out his hand to his daughter. Winnie followed as they walked down the stairs together. Watching them, Josh so straight and tall with Chloe beside him, his hand wrapped tightly around hers, she glimpsed the future. A future that included this man, the father of her child. It felt completely right.
Grateful to have a few moments alone to compose herself, Winnie put her hand on her chest and walked to the front of the house. It was such a nice, quiet street with even a white picket fence or two. She loved Josh’s house and she could understand why Chloe would prefer to live here instead of their small, cramped apartment. One of these days, she was going to give her child a nicer place to live with the pink and white bedroom she’d always wanted. Taking a deep breath, she made her way back downstairs.
Walking through the hallway, she noticed the half-bath off the side of that fabulous kitchen. Its colors coordinated with those in the living and dining rooms. Rebekah and Mrs. Grant certainly did themselves proud.
Following the sounds of their laughter, she walked into the kitchen and looked out the large window. Josh pushed Chloe in the swing in the neighbor’s yard. The look on his face was full of joy and contentment. She was thankful Chloe could give him that peace. Crossing her arms, she walked to the door and leaned against the frame, watching them through the screen door. She heard Josh ask Chloe questions about Butterfinger, and she was doing her best to explain the ways of her funny cat. Her sweet little laugh thrilled Winnie’s heart every time she heard it and now those giggles from their daughter made Josh laugh, too.
Sliding down from the swing, Chloe surprised Josh by throwing her arms around his neck and planting a sloppy, wet kiss on his cheek. Winnie’s heart caught in her throat and she turned away for a moment, emotion overtaking her. It was all too perfect, too normal, too real. She never expected to see her daughter with her father like this, kissing him and falling in love with him in her own trusting way. Just like her mother. It was almost too much.
~~**~~
“Something wrong?” Josh asked, coming in with Chloe and closing the kitchen door behind them. “Buttercup, why don’t you go take a look at that big clock on the wall over there.” He pointed it out to her. “My Grandpa Grant made it
a long time ago.”
Chloe smiled and skipped toward the clock.
“Are you okay?” Josh touched her arm.
“I’m fine. Really. It’s almost too perfect.” She kept her voice quiet so Chloe wouldn’t hear. Josh looked curious, but he didn’t push. She couldn’t expect him to understand. Perfect was an illusion, it wasn’t reality. Being here in this house, with this man, seemed as close to perfection as possible.
He ran a hand over his jaw. “Chloe, do you want to go out to eat tonight or should we cook something here? I’ll let you make the decision.”
Her eyes lit. “I know that word! Dezission,” she said, rolling it on her tongue a couple of times. “It means I get to choose.”
He laughed. “It sure does. What do you think? What sounds good?”
“Do you have pizzas?” It was her current favorite.
“I don’t, but there’s a wonderful place down the street that has them,” he said with a wink. “Why don’t I call them and order some pizzas for us? They’ll even bring them right to my front door.”
“Yummy!” When she was excited, Chloe’s eyes looked nearly identical to Josh’s.
“You’ve made a friend for life now. There’s no turning back,” Winnie whispered as Chloe scampered out to the living room with a book she retrieved from her purse.
“No way on earth would I want to turn back now.” Josh tipped her chin with his hand. “I’m glad you and Chloe like my house, and I think you know why I care so much about your opinion.”
Winnie matched his gaze. “You don’t have to sell anything, Josh. Not you. Not your house,” she said, looking down at her hands.
Josh took them in his own. “I love you, Winnie.” He tipped her chin and waited until she looked at him. His eyes searched hers. “I think I’ve always been in love with you.” Cupping her face between his hands, he kissed her. “I need you.”
She startled at that one. “You need me in what way?”
He raised his head and blew out a sigh. “I’m not going to sweep you in my arms and carry you upstairs to my bed. Even if it’s what I want, I know better.” His brows knit together in frustration. “Looks like I’ve still got my work cut out for me in the trust department.”
“No, Josh.” She shook her head.
“Then what is it, sweetheart? Please tell me.”
Sweetheart. Oh, that does such funny things to my heart. Kind of like little flips in my stomach and other places. Say it again, Josh.
“I’m not sure I trust myself. Trust me, it’s not you. It’s me. All me.” Winnie held his gaze steady. Those green eyes deepened. It seemed he needed to hear those words from her. When he slipped his arms around her waist again and kissed her, she never wanted to leave. For the first time, she fully understood what Lexa meant when she said she was home in Sam’s arms. This was home. The fear slipped away, replaced by the most incredible peace.
“Are the pizzas coming?”
Winnie jumped back and looked at Josh, unsure which one of them flushed a deeper pink. Josh didn’t blush often and it made him look like a little boy, especially with his hair mussed from her fingers. Chloe looked from one to the other, but she didn’t look upset in any way. Winnie breathed a sigh of relief.
“I’m just calling in our order now.” Josh retrieved a phonebook beneath the kitchen counter. Thumbing through it, he found a tagged page. Keeping his finger on the book, he reached for the phone with his other hand. “What kind do you like?”
“Cheese for her and veggie or pepperoni for me,” Winnie answered, still flushed. He gave her a heavy-lidded smile. The rhythm of her heart increased tenfold. Yes, it was a very good thing Chloe was in the house. A rush of emotion swept through her.
Josh ordered three pizzas, one cheese, one half-pepperoni and half-sausage, and one veggie. “Coke?” Winnie shook her head. “No, thanks,” he said into the phone. “Okay, see you in about twenty minutes.”
“Chloe, want to help set the table?” he asked, not waiting for her answer. Opening a cabinet under one of the counters, he pulled out napkins. Reaching to an overhead cabinet, he pulled out stoneware and Winnie put them on the table. He handed forks to Chloe. “Just put them on the table by each plate.” She did as he asked before skipping out of the kitchen again.
“I thought she’d never leave,” Josh said, rushing over to her, bundling her in his arms, cutting her off mid-sentence.
“Josh,” Winnie said, “we shouldn’t—”
“Shouldn’t what? I’m kissing the woman I love. That can’t be wrong.”
“But,” she said, her lips firmly pressed against his mouth, “kissing leads to other things.”
“Only if we let it, and I won’t let it. Remember what I told you. I promise you, it’s only kissing, Winnie. But,” he added with a small laugh, “kissing can be so much fun. You’ll see,” he said, pulling away after first sealing that promise with another tantalizing kiss. “Besides, we have an adorable four-year-old chaperone. She’s not going to let us get away with anything.”
“You’re doing such things to me,” she said, swaying. She was thankful he was there and leaned into him. “Catch me or I might just fall.”
“Good,” he whispered. “I like you off balance.”
“Oh!” Raising a hand to her face, Winnie escaped into the living room. She could get used to this kind of dizzy.
Chapter 38
Thirty minutes later, they sat around the kitchen table together, holding hands as Josh asked the blessing. Chloe asked to pray, too. Winnie peeked, watching Josh as he listened to her prayer. It was worth it to see the expression on his face. Of course, Chloe used as many of the words she’d learned that week as she could, so it came out a little nonsensical and lasted at least a full minute. Probably gave the Almighty a chuckle or two.
“Amen,” Josh said, giving her a wink across the table. “You’re like the Prayer Princess, Chloe.” That brought another giggle that was silenced soon enough by Chloe taking a first big bite.
Her heart full, Winnie watched as her two favorite people in the world dug in like neither one of them had eaten in a week. At least mourning didn’t diminish Josh’s appetite. He served her a slice of the veggie pizza. It was the best pizza she’d ever had, but perhaps she didn’t really taste it and was reacting to everything else going on inside this wonderful house.
“Isn’t this the best pizza ever, Chloe?”
Her daughter nodded and gave her a tomato-covered grin. The child managed to make a mustache out of almost anything. Now, she had a little bright red goatee, the same as when she devoured “pasghetti,” her recent personal favorite. Laughing, Winnie cleaned her up. Out of the corner of her eye, she knew Josh watched their every move with a look of sweet tenderness shining in his eyes.
“I’m stuffed,” he said not long after, picking up Chloe’s plate with his. “Finished?” He reached across the table for her plate.
She nodded. “Thanks, I can’t eat another bite.”
He eyed her empty glass as he took their plates to the sink. “Want more to drink, cookies or anything else, ladies?”
“I’m fine,” Winnie said. “Chloe’s still got some milk. Wearing it above her upper lip, as usual.” She handed her daughter the napkin and motioned for her to use it. “Do you want a cookie to go with your milk, sweetie?” Surprisingly, she shook her head.
“Is it okay if Chloe goes upstairs to watch a movie for a little while?” Josh came back to the table and sat in the chair beside hers. “So her mother and I can talk downstairs?” He raised his brows and Winnie couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you back to Rebekah’s in good order.”
Her heart rioted in her chest. “I’m not worried, just—”
“Just what?” Josh asked, giving her a devilish grin.
She smirked. “Go get Chloe settled upstairs and then I’ll show you.”
“Show me?” The look on his face was priceless. “Hold that thought,” he said, scooting out the door into the livin
g room. “Wizard of Oz okay?”
“No!” Winnie hurried out the door behind him. “Let’s not tempt nightmares.” He turned with a questioning look. “Flying monkeys and the Wicked Witch,” she mouthed. “Do you have any Disney cartoons?” she asked, following him up the stairs. Based on the scampering she heard upstairs, Chloe was already there.
“I’ll find something or we can just put on a cartoon channel. They have tons of those on cable, right?”
“Usually, but don’t leave the remote nearby.”
Josh paused, turning to look at her just inside his bedroom. “Why? Is your little Buttercup a channel surfer?” He crouched down on all fours, digging in the cabinet beneath the widescreen television. “How about Veggie Tales?” His expression was triumphant as he pulled out a DVD from the cabinet and held it in the air, waving it back and forth.
“I like Bob!” Chloe squealed.
“Of course, you do,” he said, laughing. “He’s the tomato, right?”
Chloe started singing the Veggie Tales theme song, giggling as she took a running jump and plopped in the middle of the bed. If she could stop laughing, Winnie would remind her daughter to mind her manners. Seeing how happy she was, and knowing how comfortable she was with Josh—not to mention the look on his face—she hadn’t the heart to scold.
“I think we have a winner.” Josh pulled the DVD from its case and inserted it into the player. “Okay, sweetheart, we have thirty minutes,” he whispered, giving her a gentle nudge on the small of her back as they headed downstairs.
~~**~~
“I have a question.” Sitting sideways and propping her feet beneath her, Winnie arranged the folds of her dress, its floral fabric fanning around her on the sofa.
“What’s that?” Josh propped his elbow behind her and surveyed her with a look of extreme contentment.