by JoAnn Durgin
“Tam, please. I’m begging you,” Amy said, her voice breaking. She had no other recourse, and she didn’t care that she appeared totally broken before this young girl. Maybe that’s what she needed to see so she’d know how deeply affected she was by the possibility she’d end the young life growing within her. Reaching out, she was relieved when Tam moved into the waiting circle of her arms. Cradling her head, Amy pressed her lips against her hair. “Remember, God knows your baby. If you decide to keep this child, He’ll bless that decision. Like I told you before, you’re capable of doing so much with your life. Having a child is a beautiful thing. Don’t let it slow you down for following your dreams for your life. If anything, you can make this child part of living your dream.”
As Landon held the door open, Amy walked inside the clinic, one arm still around Tam’s shoulders. After signing in at the small window, they settled in a row of chairs. Three other patients waited in the small waiting room. Landon took both their jackets and hung them on pegs mounted on the wall.
“Just Maybe.” Amy opened her purse and dug through it, pulling out the pages. “Tam, I’d like you to read this. It won’t take long.”
“Okay.” Taking it from her, she stuffed it in her pocket. Catching Amy’s intense gaze, she sighed. “You mean now?”
Amy nodded. “It’s written by a girl in New York who had a baby when she was about your age.”
Maybe it was the urgency in her tone, but Tam stared at her for a few seconds before unfolding the pages. None of them said anything, and the only sound was the occasional scooting of a chair, the ticking of the large clock on the wall, a cough here and there and the flipping of magazine pages. Amy prayed Tam’s name wouldn’t be called until she’d had a chance to read through Angelina’s story. Maybe it wouldn’t make a difference, but then again, it might. At this point, she was willing to try anything.
Needing his touch, Amy captured Landon’s hand, threading her fingers through his. She dared not look directly into those blue eyes or she’d break down. At least until Tam disappeared behind the door, she had to maintain the appearance of confidence, although she was crumbling inside.
“Tamara Coughlin,” the nurse called, holding a clipboard. She seemed matter-of-fact and none-too-friendly looking. Tam shot a frightened glance at Amy.
“Let me come with you.”
“No,” she said, taking a deep breath. Folding the paper, she handed it back to her. “Nice story, and I know what you’re trying to tell me, but I got myself into this mess, and now it’s time to take care of it.” Her determined expression and firmness of voice sent chills up and down Amy’s spine and she shivered.
“Remember what I said.” Amy squeezed Tam’s hand as the nurse grunted and stood aside for Tam to pass through the doorway. As soon as the door closed, Amy pivoted and marched out the front door of the clinic, rounding the corner to the side of the building. Leaning against the concrete wall, she lifted her head and prayed for all she was worth. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her voice broke on her sobs.
Strong arms moved around her in a comforting embrace. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know it was Landon. When she started to fall, he leaned against the wall, pulling her with him. If it weren’t for his arms, she would have hit the ground. He burrowed his head against her shoulder, absorbing her quivering body, stroking her hair.
“My heart is breaking,” she whispered against his cheek. She moved her shaking fingers over the rough stubble of his morning beard.
“I know.” His cheek was damp, and she knew it wasn’t only from her tears. “You want to save the world and fix everything. You can’t and that frustrates you, but you try.” Cupping her face between his hands, he looked deep into her eyes. “You have such a beautiful soul and a heart filled with pure grace.”
Amy’s eyes overflowed as he brushed the pads of his thumbs over her cheeks as new tears fell. When she leaned against him, he curled her into his chest in the way she loved, and it brought her a measure of comfort.
“Let it out, sweetheart,” he said.
Putting one hand on his chest, she felt his strong heartbeat which made her cry that much harder.
“I knew you two couldn’t stay away from each other.” Arms crossed, shaking her head, Tam eyed them with a raised brow. Denton stood beside her.
“Tam! Denton!” Disentangling herself from Landon’s embrace, Amy cried out and almost tripped over his feet. Accepting his hand to steady her, she hurried over to Tam. “What happened?”
“I couldn’t do it. Any of it.”
“You didn’t meet with the doctor?” Landon asked.
“Oh, I stayed long enough to find out I’m ten weeks along, but then I told them I had to leave. Walked right out of there.”
Amy choked out the words. “What changed your mind?”
Tam stared at her boots for a few seconds before raising wet eyes to Amy’s. “A bunch of things kinda added up when I was sitting in there. There was this other girl and you should have seen her. I mean, she gave me this scared look like ‘What have I done?’ I figured if you took a chance by flying all the way back down here to help me, then why shouldn’t I give my baby a chance? You, Landon—Cooper or whatever your name is,” she said, giving him a small smile, “Winnie, Chloe and Denton . . . you’re all my angels.”
“She called me when she in the examining room, waiting for the doctor,” Denton said, moving his arm around Tam. Amy watched in wide-eyed wonder as Tam didn’t push him away and leaned against him. “I high-tailed it over here.”
“You should have seen him,” Tam said, half-laughing, half-crying. “Marched right in there and told them he was taking me home.”
Denton’s cheeks colored and he shuffled his boots on the pavement. “I told her I’d help take care of her and her kid, if she’d let me.”
Tears blurring her eyes, Amy flew to Tam and pulled her into the circle of her arms, holding her close. Landon put his arm around Denton’s shoulders and they walked toward the parking lot.
“I’ve got a card with a schedule of appointments they gave me,” Tam said. “I have to come back and they wanna run some tests. And I need to find a regular gyno doctor . . . whatever they’re called.”
“I’ll find someone to help you, Tam. I promise you that.”
“Actually, Denton said his sister can help me, and he talked with Kaye. She wants me to live with her for now, anyway.”
Amy smiled and the huge weight on her heart lifted. Thank you, Lord.
“You don’t know happy I am you have people willing to help you. Lean on them and they can help you, but trust in God, too, and He’ll help you every step of the way.”
Tam gave her a half smile. “I’ll keep in touch and you can tell me more about this God stuff. Seems to work for you and Mr. Handsome, so why not?” They shared a grin. “By the way, did somebody slug him or something? That bruise on his face looks like it was pretty fierce.”
Amy tried not to laugh. “Something like that.”
“Well, you know what I want right now?”
“What’s that?” Amy hooked her arm through Tam’s as they walked toward Matilda.
“A grilled cheese sandwich and soup. Good comfort food.”
Chapter 48
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
How pitiful am I? In the middle of the afternoon on New Year’s Eve, Amy sat in her office while most of her coworkers made plans to leave and start celebrating. All that awaited her was a bowl of chip and dip and watching the ball drop in Times Square. Why should this year be any different than the last decade? A part of her hoped Landon would call—even last minute, but in her heart, she knew he wouldn’t. She’d told him she needed more time, and he was still honoring that wish. “Sometimes you don’t have to be so honorable,” she muttered.
Tossing down her pencil, she knew trying to work was a lost cause. She swiveled in her chair and stared out her office window, not really focusing on anything, doing what she seemed to do best these days—en
dless daydreaming. She’d spent a lot of face time with this window. At least it was quiet around the office, the calm in the sea of deadlines before the inevitable storm that would blow into the Habits offices in the next few weeks.
The intercom buzzed. “Amy, you have a visitor.”
Turning back to face her desk, she frowned. Who would be here today of all days? Amy pushed the button. “Who is it, Lana?”
Marcheline breezed around the corner. “Mr. Warnick to see you,” she announced, standing aside as Landon entered her office carrying a bulky, square but rather flat package. “I’ll close the door and give you two some privacy,” she said, giving her a wink.
Before Amy could protest, the intercom buzzed again. “Amy?” Oh no. Juliet. With her finger poised on the intercom, Amy bit her lip. She couldn’t very well disconnect her boss, but this couldn’t be good. “Juliet, I have company at the moment.”
“I know that. Landon, what are you doing in my offices? Trying to steal another one of my employees before the New Year?”
To Amy’s surprise, Landon chuckled. “Nothing sinister, I assure you. Happy New Year, Juliet. What do you say we bury the hatchet for 2003?”
Amy hid her smile when her boss snorted. She pressed the intercom button. “Landon’s only here for a minute and then he’s on his way.”
“I’ll bet,” Juliet said. “If he’s here with a job offer for some new business endeavor, throw him out. But first find out what he’s offering.”
“Will do,” Amy said, trying not to laugh.
Releasing the intercom, Amy willed her heart to slow. “Now see what you’ve done? My job could be in serious jeopardy.”
Landon’s eyes lit with warmth, and he looked not unlike a small boy at Christmas. It was the same look he had in Macy’s. How she loved that smile, infectious and inviting.
“I highly doubt that. After all, Juliet keeping you means I can’t have you, and that seems paramount in her mind.” He winced. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”
“I know what you meant, but whatever this is, you shouldn’t have.”
“I didn’t. Cooper did.” His grin was irresistible. “Never can control what that guy does.”
She laughed. “You’re deranged.”
“You love it.”
Her eyes met his. “Never said I didn’t. I didn’t get anything for you.”
“I didn’t expect anything, but this is something you need. Trust me.”
“Please stop buying me things.”
Landon held up his hand. “The element of surprise is much sweeter if you play along. Humor me. Close your eyes.”
“So bossy,” she said, unable to resist his enthusiasm. Closing her eyes, she put her hands over them to reassure him she wouldn’t peek. “I feel like a kid playing a game.”
“Okay, you may open your eyes now.” He stood beside her desk, holding the package.
“This must have been hard to wrap.”
“I wouldn’t know. I bribed Dona to do it for me a few weeks ago.”
“That woman’s a saint for putting up with you. I hope you gave her an insanely expensive Christmas bonus.”
“I take excellent care of my employees . . . when I have them, that is.” He angled his head to the door and raised his voice. “Hear that, Juliet?”
“Shh,” she said, putting a finger over her lips.
“Open it already. It’s getting heavy.”
“Yes, sir.” Giving him a skeptical glance, Amy tore off a large section of paper and gasped. As she continued to tear off more paper, her fingers shook when she unveiled the Jackson Hawley painting. “Finding Amelia? How . . . how? Even for you, this is too extravagant.”
“I knew you wouldn’t buy it for yourself, and I know how much you liked it.”
Seeing the look on his face, she couldn’t disappoint him. “I’ll treasure it. Thank you, Landon.” Words seemed so inadequate for such a thoughtful, valuable gift. Taking the painting from him, she lowered it to the floor. Beckoning him with one finger, she kissed his cheek.
“I won’t wash this cheek ever again,” he said, and she relished his grin.
“You’re mocking me?”
“No, I can’t resist teasing you.”
“Your dutiful assistant e-mailed me a couple of weeks ago, you know.”
Crossing his arms, he leaned against the edge on the side of her desk. “Go on.”
“The intriguing subject line was ‘Ten Reasons to Forgive Him.’ I particularly liked reasons number four and eight.”
“Out with it. You’ve got me curious, but I pray this isn’t painful.”
“Let’s start with reason number eight: you visited a Christian Academy for their ‘Walk Through the Bible’ Day and got a little too animated.”
Landon groaned and massaged his forehead. “She didn’t.”
Amy giggled. “Such an adorable story. Seems you split your dress pants right up the back with your exaggerated interpretation of the Creation split. Apparently, it was the highlight of the whole event for the kids. Dona said you covered your backside with a file folder and waited in the nurse’s office while the school librarian did a quick mend, then you rejoined the fun and carried on with your head held high.”
“See why I like wearing jeans?” His lips twisted. “What was the other one? It can’t be any more humiliating.”
“Reason number four.” Her smile sobered. “You’ve been a Big Brother to a boy in Queens for over four years and spend almost every Saturday with him—taking him to baseball games, arcades, the movies and to visit his dad’s grave. I saw our friend Louie the taxi driver the other day and he told me the same thing.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “You inspire great loyalty from your friends and family, and they all seem to agree on one thing.”
“That you should throw yourself in my arms this minute, kiss me until tomorrow and forgive me for all the stupid things I’ve done and am destined to do the rest of my life?”
“No,” she said, her eyes misting. Tempting as it is. She was afraid he’d take a step closer or pull her into his arms. She wasn’t ready. Not yet. The most difficult thing was the disappointment shining in his eyes.
“Then what, Amy? Tell me. I need to know.”
“They told me how passionate you are about everything you do in life, and they know how much you care about me.”
“All true.” He slid his hands in both pockets. “I more than care about you, Amy, and I think you know that, too. I lo—”
Moving quickly, she put two fingers over his lips. “I still need time, Landon.”
He nodded, the muscles in his jaw flexing. “Understood. Take all the time you need. What was number one on Dona’s list, if I may ask?”
“In due time. As someone once told me, I’ll tell you when the time is right. Mitch told me you’re resigning from New York Scene. I know how much it must hurt you to give it up.”
The look in his eyes confirmed her words. “I hope you don’t believe I’m selling out.”
“Why would I ever think that?” she asked. “If anything, it’s the opposite. You’re standing up for your principles, and that’s never wrong.”
“Not to change the subject, but your Habits article on Sam’s book was great,” he said. “The advance preorder numbers are very encouraging, and I’m sure your article helped contribute to that to a large degree. ‘Hurt builds up walls, but love tears them down.’ Brilliant concept. Wish I’d thought of it so I could use it as a tagline for the book.”
She smiled. “Sam came up with it, but he was actually talking about our situation at the time.”
His eyes bore into hers. “Sam’s one of the wisest men I know. Very knowledgeable about love, marriage and God’s word. A powerful combination, if ever there was one. I can learn a lot from him. I’ve already offered him a contract for a follow-up book.”
“Sam knows about a lot about things,” Amy said, turning to face the window, unable to see the opposite office building through the thick fog blanketing th
e city. “His book is a terrific first project for your new company.”
He stepped beside her. “That’s only the beginning. There’s a number of other exciting things on the horizon. I’m happy to say Dona’s already on the payroll.” He ran his hand over his jaw. “I’ve got a lot of things to figure out, though. It’s a daunting challenge, full of uncertainty.”
“I’m sure you’ll be successful.” She tilted her head. “I have a few more questions if you don’t mind.”
“Ask away.” Crossing the room, he dropped into a chair and Amy followed, sitting in the opposite chair.
“Is it true about the rental car, the motel, the one room, the one bed . . .”
“All true. If you ask me, it was part of God’s plan to bring us together.”
“Now you’re making the Almighty part of this?”
Landon’s gaze pierced through her. “You can’t tell me you don’t think He is, Amy.”
“Like I told Tam, if we trust Him, He’s with us every step of the way.”
“So you agree?”
She sidestepped that one. “What’s the story about the writer Juliet believes you stole from Habits?”
His brow creased. “Ah, yes. She never forgave me for that one. In fact, Lenora asked me if she could work for my magazine. She’s a talented writer, but she moved on to another publication more than a year ago.” He leaned forward, arms resting on his thighs. “I never had a relationship with Lenora apart from work.”
“I didn’t say a word.”
“She’s nowhere near as talented—nor as beautiful—as you.”
Amy needed to speak now or she’d throw herself in the man’s arms. “Who was the man in The Driskill lobby?”
He rubbed a hand over his brow. “Man in the lobby?”
“You shook hands and enjoyed a rousing conversation. Right before the Macy’s excursion.”
“Oh, yes. That’s Tom Lawler. He’s a business acquaintance and lives in San Antonio. If you’d walked over to us, you probably would have discovered my true identity right then and there.”