Heat flooded over us from a nearby fire; it was like being dragged out of a horror movie and dropped into a romance. Champagne awaited us on the table beside a bowl of strawberries and cosy blankets were laid over the plush chairs. We collapsed around the room, exhausted, drained and filthy, but alive.
Varick sat in an armchair, plucking stalks from strawberries.
My mouth fell open. “Comfortable?”
Varick's mouth hooked up at the corner as he took me in. “Very.” He gestured to the hall beyond the lounge. “Wash. Sleep. Drink. Kill yourselves. Whatever you feel like.”
Cass took a purposeful step toward him, her stake raised. “How about I off you? 'Cause that's what I feel like doing right now.”
He opened his arms invitingly. “Have at it, sweetheart. I could use a laugh.”
I pressed Cass's arm down. “Come on, let's get changed.”
She glowered at Varick as we walked past him, finding seven bedrooms. Enough for each of us and more, like they knew no more than seven of us would make it here. I cursed the Helsings under my breath, picking a room at random and shedding my filthy clothes. An en-suite led to a small bathroom where I stood under the shower for an age.
When I was dressed in the warm jumpsuit that was folded at the end of my single bed, I pulled on a pair of woollen socks and headed back to the lounge, my stomach growling with hunger.
The other girls were already present, sitting around the room, some sipping on champagne.
Varick turned the projector off; it had been running highlights from today's round.
“Do you have to watch the game or do you just enjoy it?” Sakura addressed Varick with a scowl.
He was sat on the only spare sofa and no one seemed keen to join him. “Well how else would I know how many glasses of champagne to pour?”
A grumble of contempt passed round the room. Figuring there was nowhere else to sit, I joined him on the two-seater, snatching a handful of strawberries from the bowl.
“Do we get a real dinner, or is this it?” Angelina demanded, turning her nose up at the strawberries.
“Cook's not brought it yet.” Varick shrugged, eyeing me as I ate strawberry after strawberry. Cass avoided the bowl, evidently having had enough berries to last her a lifetime. I, on the other hand, was famished and wasn't about to turn down free food.
“So you don't make the meals?” I questioned, raising a brow.
A small smile pulled at his mouth. “I haven't cooked in three centuries, sweetheart. I think you'd rather eat mud.”
“How long until the next round?” Kite asked, perching on the edge of an armchair that Angelina was sat in.
“You have twenty four hours,” he replied.
“That long?” I murmured and he nodded.
“Get as much rest as you can. You're not at the finishing line yet.”
“Noted,” Cass muttered, marching from the room.
The girls slowly trickled after her, none of them seeming too keen on Varick's company. As Kite filed out, I caught her eye and mumbled, “Thank you.”
“For what?” she spat, quickening her pace as she exited the room. I frowned, having no idea why she was pretending she hadn't helped me today.
I lifted my knees to my chest, hiding my face in them, thinking of Marie. What would Briony do if she found out what I'd done?
“You did well,” Varick said quietly.
“I killed someone. I don't classify that as doing well.”
“The Helsings are responsible for this, not you. You're only trying to survive.”
“I'm sick of people saying that to me. I make the choices out there.” I pointed to the door. “Choices that are turning me into someone I never wanted to be.”
“You're still you. You're just being pushed to your limits.”
“Well I don't like my limits!” I snapped, my pulse rising. What did he care? He was a blood sucking V. This kind of stuff was a daily occurrence for him.
The room fell quiet and guilt stabbed at me for lashing out at Varick. It wasn't his fault. He was only doing what the Helsings ordered him to do.
I sighed, voicing what was at the root of my agony. “They didn't deserve to die that way,” I muttered, an ache in my heart at witnessing so many deaths.
“It's not so bad,” he said softly. “Death is silent. Death is peace.”
“Oh what do you know?” I hissed. “Your death is eternal. And you don't look much at peace to me, Varick.”
His jaw hardened as his eyes locked with mine. “Well maybe you should be grateful they aren't cursed with an eternity in hell, Selena.”
“Grateful?” I snarled. “You want me to be grateful?” I stood, my rage rising too high.
He shook his head with a weary sigh. “That's not what I meant.”
The door opened and my head whipped up. A team of people in white uniforms walked in, carrying tray after tray of food. They said nothing to me or Varick, heading straight through the cabin.
“Food.” Varick stood, leading the way to the feast they were laying out in a small dining room. Five places were set with silverware and crystal glasses. A decanter of red wine sat at the heart of it all. When the table was laid, the Helsings' staff exited without a word.
Varick fetched the other girls and left us alone to eat together.
Cass stood, taking the wine and pouring us all a glass. “Screw sobriety, girls. We all deserve a reward.”
We clinked our glasses together, but no one said anything. Everyone seemed deep in their own thoughts as they sipped moodily on her drink and dished out helpings of stew and freshly baked rolls.
Sakura sat at my side, having polished off one glass already.
The wine was dry on my tongue but warmth spread through my body as it sank into my stomach, providing me with some sorely needed peace of mind.
“How many of us do you think are going to make it over the finish line?” Kite asked casually, sipping on her wine.
“Do we have to talk about that?” Sakura muttered. “We get a few hours away from the games in here.”
“Pah,” Kite spat a laugh. “We aren't away from the games, Sakura. Giving us food, soft beds. It's just another way to screw with us.”
“Why don't we make a break for it?” Angelina hissed, leaning in closer.
“And go where?” I asked, shaking my head. “We have chips in the back of our heads.”
Angelina huffed. “I'm just making a suggestion. Why don't we cut them out?”
Briony stood. “That's not a bad idea.” She picked up a sharp knife.
Cass nodded keenly, standing too.
I folded my arms, watching this madness play out. “Come on, that won't work. You're more likely to bleed out.”
“Do it.” Kite moved the food aside and bent over the table. Briony hurried to her side and Cass held Kite's hair back. Briony felt for the bump on the back of Kite's neck, just above her spiderweb tattoo.
“This is crazy.” I stood, panic fleeing through me.
Angelina shook her head. “It's genius.”
Briony poised the blade above Kite's neck – a bread knife no less. Just as the tip pressed against skin, the door flew open.
“Out. Now,” Varick demanded, snatching the knife from Briony's hand in a blindingly fast movement.
Kite straightened, glaring at him. “Why don't you help us, Vampire? What fun is this for you?”
Varick pointed toward the door, a deadly look on his face. “Get out!”
Before I left, he caught my arm, giving me a look that said he wanted to talk to me. The other girls were already disappearing around the corner.
“Meet me outside,” he said.
“I'll wait till everyone's asleep,” I breathed, slipping away.
I didn't know why, but I wanted to spend some alone time with Varick. The other girls hated him, but I couldn't shake the feeling he was just like us. Stuck here on this island, playing games.
I lay on my bed, my heart hammering in my ears as I
waited for the minutes to pass. Maybe I was crazy, but the brief moments I'd spent with Varick outside of the game gave me something to focus on other than all the death I had to face daily. Which was ironic, considering he was death reincarnated.
I managed to doze off for a while, feeling physically exhausted from the last few days. When I woke, I was certain everyone must be asleep and pulled on the spare boots that sat by the door. Creeping out of my room, I listened for any sound of the other girls, but all was quiet. I hated feeling like I was betraying Cass as I walked down the hall. She despised Varick and would judge me heavily if she knew what I was doing. But I couldn't stop myself.
I crept out into the night, heading across the pebbly shore. The moon hung low over the sea, casting silver across the calm waves. The snow had passed on, leaving the sky clear of clouds and a bitterly cold wind.
Varick was sitting on a boulder in a small cove. I glanced back at the light streaming from the cabin windows and moved on. Perhaps it was Varick's superior strength to the other Vs that made me feel safe out here. Whatever the reason, I wasn't worried about an ambush. Even though I could easily imagine Vs waiting in the trees that clung to the hill leading up from the beach.
“I wasn't sure you'd come,” he said, moving to meet me.
“I fell asleep.”
“Thought as much. You had a hard few days.”
I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself against the cold.
“Come. Let's walk,” he instructed and I followed him down the beach, moving to a more secluded area where plants protruded from the pebbles.
“Is everything alright?” I asked, sensing something off in his demeanour.
“Yes...and no.”
I waited for further explanation, but he didn't give me one.
When we reached a small inlet, he led me into a seclusion of trees. It was dark and my skin prickled all over from the cold.
“I'm in trouble, Selena,” he growled, moving toward me.
I instinctively backed up, my spine pressing against a tree trunk. “Trouble?” I questioned, my tone too high.
“One of the Helsing's knows I helped you through the third round.”
“Oh,” I breathed. “What are they going to do about it?”
Varick sighed, shifting from foot to foot, moving closer. My mouth went dry, but still I wasn't scared.
“They've asked me to undo what I did.”
Had I been so foolish to trust him? Coming out here alone in the dark, it wasn't exactly sensible of me. But what was the point in being sensible, when tomorrow a V could be feasting on my neck?
He moved closer and I knew there was no point in running. He'd outpace me in seconds. And after everything I'd been through, I wasn't going to die like a coward.
He bared his teeth, his milky fangs glistening at me in the lambent moonlight.
I fell still, my heartbeat slowing. It had only been a matter of time before I ended up here. And a small part of me was relieved. There were worse deaths than this, much worse.
I tilted my chin up, baring my throat, my rampant pulse no doubt visible to him.
“Make it quick,” I panted, the adrenaline subsiding from my veins.
I'd put up a good fight in the games. I'd never go out without one. I'd beaten a superior opponent before. But not this time.
As Varick closed in on me, I recalled the last man who had me cowering in this way, at his mercy.
My stepfather.
After everything, here I was again. Perhaps it was my fate to die this way after all.
He pulled a knife from his jacket and I shuddered. “No teeth?” I questioned.
“I'm supposed to make it look like one of the girls did it.”
I nodded, a tear leaking from my eye. I hated myself for it, but death wasn't something I embraced easily.
Varick chucked the knife and it flew out into the sea, disappearing with a splash.
“I won't do it,” he said firmly and my heartbeat slowed a fraction.
“Why not?” I gasped.
He moved closer and I wasn't sure whether to be frightened or not any more.
“I can't. Selena I-” He shook his head, moving closer still. “You've given something back to me. Something I thought I'd lost.”
“What?” I breathed as he closed the distance between us. My feelings were split down the middle. Strangely wanting him closer and equalling wanting to push him away.
“I feel hopeful again. I can't explain it...it's not just you. It's everything lately. I feel more like my old self. Who I was before I was turned. Who I want to be again.”
I nodded, trying to understand. He looked pained, his expression dark.
“We might not meet again after today,” he said in a low tone.
A weight pulled at my chest. Did he not believe I was capable of making it through the final round? “Why not?”
“I've disobeyed the Helsings...” He lifted a hand, cupping my chin and tilting it upwards. “Do you hate me like the other girls do?”
I shook my head. “Perhaps I should.”
“The fact that you don't is enough to change the whole world, Selena.”
I frowned, not understanding. But before I could question him further, he kissed me.
I was frozen in place and yet warmed to the bone. His kiss was slow and hesitant; he knew I wasn't prepared for this. But suddenly we were just two people, trying to find something to live for on this godforsaken island. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pressed flush against me, knotting his hands in my hair.
My veins were charged with energy, my thoughts scattered, leaving me abandoned to this crazy, beautiful moment. I didn't want it to end; I didn't want to deal with the realities of what this meant. His kiss became more fervent, his hands sliding down to my waist. I was certain he knew as well as I did that this kiss would be both our first and our last. Nothing could come of this. It was a brief moment of light in an eternity of darkness.
When he finally released me, I was breathless. He of course, wasn't, which simply made my cheeks scorch with embarrassment.
“Why did you do that?” I breathed, his body so close all I could do was stare into his eyes.
“I wanted to feel human again. Why did you let me?”
I considered my answer for a moment then admitted, “Same reason.”
“Hm.” His mouth pulled up at the corner as he drew away from me.
There were tiny threads forming between us, like a spider spinning our fates, entwining us with one another. I couldn't understand the pull I felt toward someone whose intentions were far from noble. And yet, if I ignored all logic and reason, all that remained was the calmness of his presence and the quiet, unwavering certainty that we were supposed to have met.
“The real world is waiting for us,” he growled.
I sighed, letting him draw me away from the tree and back toward the cabin. There was something hanging in the air, something neither of us were saying. And I was pretty sure it was goodbye.
◐☼◐
I woke early, teeming with all the things I should have said to Varick last night. Funny how I could never think of the right words in the moment. But when the time had passed, suddenly I had a hundred things to say.
I should have asked him more questions. I should have offered solutions.
I slipped out of my room, hunting for a glass of water in the small kitchen. As I searched the cupboards, I noticed all of the sharp knives had been removed. Evidently Varick didn't trust us not to start cutting the devices out of our heads. I could hardly blame the girls. It had been a reasonable enough idea if I wasn't fairly sure the Helsings would have taken that into account. I bet those things would explode the second I could touch one with a knife tip, like the ones in the Vs' heads.
I poured myself a glass of water, tipping the cool liquid down my throat and gazing out of the small window across the beach.
“Morning.”
Varick's voice made me jump and I nearly dropped the g
lass. I turned to him and his dark expression brightened a fraction as he met my eye.
“What's going to happen to you?” I blurted. Perhaps I could have chosen my timing better, maybe eased into this conversation a little. But I felt we were on borrowed time as it was.
Varick sighed, moving toward me. “I've lived for a very long time, Selena.”
I started shaking my head, a knot of terror tightening in my chest. I knew what he was saying and some part of me couldn't bear it. It was more than his death that angered me. It was the Helsings' absolute power on this island. Who were they to decide his fate? Or mine, or any of the other girls forced to play their game?
I moved toward him, resting a hand on his chest. He gazed down at me with uncertainty. I knew I had to explain. So I had to find the words, and fast.
“Why don't we stop playing along?” I whispered and Varick's brow lowered. “What if we refused?”
“They'd start killing you off until the rest of you continued the game.” Varick took my hand in his, squeezing softly. The action did strange things to my heart.
“You can't surrender to them,” I demanded, my pulse rising. I knew from my entire upbringing, that if you let cruel people have their way, they would continue to push boundaries. To find new ways to break you. The only way to stop them was to refuse to give in, no matter what the consequences.
Varick tilted his head to the side, looking at me like I was a riddle he needed to solve.
“Selena, I've been a part of the terrible things here. I've stood at the sidelines and done the Helsings' bidding for too many years, feeling nothing inside me but a hollow void.” He reached out, cupping my cheek and gently grazing his thumb across it. “You've reminded me of who I am, but that doesn't change what I've done.”
“We've all done terrible things,” I said, breathless as tears pooled in my eyes. Varick had become something of a guiding star to me. Maybe I was experiencing Stockholm syndrome. Maybe I'd formed this attachment to give myself some kind of relief from the game. Whatever it was, I couldn't shake it. “You can make things right again.”
Varick shook his head. “I let this happen.”
He turned away from me and I caught his arm. “Then stop letting it.”
V Games (The Vampire Games Trilogy Book 1) Page 22