I shook my head. “How would she win by being a woman? How would they portray that?”
Kara smiled at me and reached out to squeeze my hand. “You don’t see it because you’re a white male.”
I blinked at her words, but I’m sure she was right. This stuff was invisible to me—and I didn’t watch these movies anyway so I was way out of my cultural element to begin with.
“It’s like the writers have never met a real woman, or they only show women the way straight white men view them, either this, or that. The blonde sexually active girl must be punished for having sex. The brunette in the boyish clothes becomes a man to defeat the monster—who is somehow an ‘aberration’ of what a man ‘should be.’ Real women are rounded, and may or may not have sex, may dress however, and have their own issues and conversations that have nothing to do with men. Or babies. Or families.”
I glanced at Teddy and he beamed at me. “She’s right,” he said.
I nodded. “She is.” I loved these conversations even though I didn’t feel like I contributed much. I could be the guy that Kara could practice explaining things to, I didn’t mind.
“So, what’s our next show? We could watch American Horror Story Coven,” I suggested. “It’s got lots of women, right?”
Kara laughed out loud. “Oh god, yes. It had so much promise, but becomes so terrible, and descends into the most racist and sexist—I definitely have to watch it again and take notes this time.”
“And to think you used to complain about people dissecting plots,” Teddy said to me.
I chuckled. “True. And by people, you mean you.”
Teddy bowed his head and raised his glass toward me. Kara leaned back in a happy wine-soaked smile and watched our banter as he tried to explain what we were talking about.
“I used to think it ruined the show, but after I learned more, it made me appreciate storytelling that much more. I’d never thought much about horror, but it seems to reflect the fears and feelings of society that no one wants to overtly admit. It’s viewed as low brow, and escapes a lot of attention, and can sometimes be downright subversive.”
Kara nodded. “Yep.” Her eyes twinkled. She was all about this topic.
“That’s why this is such a good thesis idea,” Teddy said.
“It’s kind of like romance,” I said. “The stories go on without a lot of attention from the establishment, and a lot of issues and things are reflected and explored without interference or censorship from the patriarchy or powers that be.”
Kara’s eyes widened and she looked at Teddy. “That could be,” she said. “Or one could argue that one genre shows one side of society and the other shows another side of it, both of them raw and real in their depictions and explorations.”
Teddy stood up and leaned over to kiss me. “And you think you have nothing to contribute,” he said. I reached up and threaded my fingers through his.
Kara’s eyes darkened. “Is it time for bed?” She asked, her voice hinting toward what we all knew that meant.
That night, like so many nights since the night we’d gone bowling, Kara walked up the stairs to our bedroom, her hands in our hands. We formed a chain, three in a row, her in the middle. For weeks, we’d done this. Every night we made love, and she stayed in our bed and slept between us, like she’d been there all along, like she belonged there.
That night I laid awake long after she and Teddy had fallen into gentle breathing and drifted off to dreamland. The drapes were open, and the warm night air billowed the fabric framing the window.
I watched Teddy and Kara, sunken into the bedding and spooning like old lovers. The breeze fluttered Kara’s hair, and Teddy adjusted to pull her closer.
We made a great trio. And everything between us was so good and easy. Why couldn’t it be like this forever? But thinking that way, even hoping for it, was unrealistic.
All good things must come to an end, especially flings with temporary houseguests who were just getting ready to start their lives.
The last thing Kara wanted was to be tied down to us. She had her whole future ahead of her. Only an asshole would try to take that away from her for his own selfish desires.
I inhaled as deeply as I could, steeling myself against melancholy. I just needed to enjoy this time while we had it. It felt so magical, I had to memorize it, soak in every detail, so I could remember it always.
I looked out the window, trying to remember my place in the universe. Trying to keep perspective on it all. High in the sky, a waxing moon shone down on us. The moon would get larger before it would shrink again. All aspects of life moving in cycles. I just had to enjoy this cycle while it lasted.
After a moment, I squeezed my eyes and opened them again, this time looking beyond the moon. There, deeper in space, in a larger place than our solar system, glittered billions of stars. I knew they moved, and I knew their light might be years old, but they seemed constant to me. More constant than the moon. Maybe they only lived millions of years, but that seemed like forever.
Maybe we could have Kara for the lifetime of a star, and not just for a cycle of the moon.
But maybe that was too much to hope for.
Chapter Fifteen
Teddy
That faculty lunch was the worst one I’d ever attended. That was forty minutes of my life I’d never get back — and I cut out twenty minutes early. I wanted to skip it and grab a bite with Kara, but she seemed preoccupied this morning, and just shook her head when I floated the idea of a lunch date.
Her thesis had her all worked up. It was important that she take it seriously, but she was ready. She didn’t know it, but she was ready. She was going to be fine.
I hadn’t told her that, not in a black and white sense of the word, because I wanted her to appear hungry and worried to the committee.
The last thing she or I needed was any charges of favoritism, or for her to appear like she thought she had it on lock. I didn’t want to do anything to make things harder on her in the long run.
Though Kara would probably not do that—appear to think she had it all in the bag—I just wanted the brightest future possible for her, and if that included me not telling her exactly how locked down she had this dissertation and letting her be a little extra stressed for a few weeks, so be it. I was a ruthless bastard.
I banged back into the office, trying to clear my mind of the nonsense I’d had to listen to at lunch. I did not need to be lectured on fire codes in our building. I’d been there for years and knew how to conduct my classes during fire drills, but our dean obviously felt otherwise.
Kara was already back in the office, crying at her desk. I immediately forgot all about my annoyance at the lunch meeting and rushed to her side.
“What’s the matter?” I squatted beside her chair, keeping my head level with hers. She shook her head and refused to speak.
I looked around, remembering we were still at the school, where curious and prying eyes could see as soon as the other faculty returned from lunch. I took her hand in mine and helped her stand. With my arm around her shoulder, I led her into my office, closing, and locking, the door.
I walked her over to the loveseat in my office, sat down, and pulled her onto my lap.
She’d kept her face covered with her hands the entire time.
“Sweetheart, what on earth is the matter?” I said. My heart ached to see her so upset. I threaded my fingers in the loose hair hanging around her face and smoothed it back.
“Tell me,” I said. “I want to help.”
Kara hiccupped and tried to breathe. “I don’t know how to say this. I’m so sorry.”
My heart stopped for a moment. “What do you mean?” I whispered.
She shook her head and then her words came out in a rush. “My period is a week late. I’m afraid my depo shot failed, and a condom must have failed too? I mean, holy shit, even though we had a lot of sex, is that possible? It’s not like I was being irresponsible, I swear!”
“Hey, t
his isn’t all on you,” I said. “Jack and I were in that bed with you. You have nothing to apologize for.”
Kara ground her teeth and a tremor of nerves shook through her body. I pulled her closer to me. Maybe I could still her. Maybe I could ground her. Maybe I could help her feel safe.
“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to push a baby on you two, and I’m so close to my thesis, and…”
“Hey, hey,” I said. “No one thinks you’re pushing anything, I promise.”
Kara sighed a jagged breath, calming down slightly. She stared off into space, absorbed in her thoughts, and then buried her face in her hands and started crying again.
“Come here,” I said, and pulled her feet up on the couch so she was fully on my lap. She fit so nicely.
She cried on my shoulder and I held her close. An idea occurred to me. “Have you taken a test?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Kara said into my shirt. Her hot breath warm against my shoulder counteracting the cold wetness of her tears through the fabric.
“Okay, how about we have you take a test before you freak out. From what I understand, this…being late, and all that, could be caused by any number of things.”
Kara nodded and wiped her tears with her fingers. She looked at me, her eyes searching mine. The poor girl was terrified that we’d gotten her pregnant, like we’d be mad at her. As if we hadn’t realized the risks when we took her to our bed.
“Maybe the stress of trying to finish my thesis has made me late,” she ventured. “Maybe that’s all this is.”
I nodded. “There you go. Let’s find out what, if anything’s going on, and then we’ll figure out what to do next.”
Kara wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed herself against me. “Thank you, Teddy,” she said.
“Let’s go home,” I said. “I’ll cancel my afternoon classes and take a sick day.”
Kara leaned back, her eyes wide. “You can do that?”
“I never have, but I know everyone else has, and that it’s allowed. If right now isn’t a good reason to take advantage of my tenure, I don’t know when is.”
I walked her to the car and made the phone calls from there. That way no one could come find me and corner me into doing differently.
I held Kara’s hand all the way to the pharmacy, and she seemed to calm down with every mile. The trees and scenery moved past us, and Kara leaned back and took it all in, like now that we had a plan she could relax. I pulled into a parking space at the pharmacy.
“Do you want me to go in with you?” I asked her.
Kara shook her head. “No, I’m okay. I got this.”
“I’ll be right out here,” I said. “Text or come get me if you need me.”
She leaned over and kissed me, lingering and sweet, and then a moment later, she was out, disappearing into the pharmacy.
This was a new experience for me—taking a woman to buy a pregnancy test. Feelings swirled around me, but I pushed them down. I’d deal with them later, after I’d taken care of Kara; one set of complicated emotions at a time.
I pulled out my phone in case Kara needed me, and texted Jack a brief update of what was going on.
I’ll meet you both at home, Jack replied.
Jack never dropped everything at work either, but today we both were doing it. Kara had turned both our lives upside down, and I…didn’t mind.
A few minutes later, Kara was back in the car clutching a brown paper bag. I reached out and squeezed her knee and then focused on getting us both home.
Now that she had a test in hand, Kara seemed much calmer about the whole situation. I always felt better once I had a plan in hand, and maybe Kara was the same way. She ripped open the side of the box and read the instructions on the ride home.
Jack pulled in the same moment we arrived. He must have raced home. He jumped out of his car and opened Kara’s for her before I’d unbuckled my seat belt. We both followed her like hapless idiots into the house, waiting for what would happen next.
“So, do you take the test now?” Jack asked.
Kara shook her head. “The instructions say it’s more accurate in the morning, so for now we wait.”
Jack and I looked at each other. Why was I so consumed with worry? Why did I want to wrap Kara in bubble wrap and keep her away from the world? Why was my chest bubbling?
“Let’s watch another show for my thesis,” Kara suggested, and we both immediately agreed. Anything to keep our minds off the issue at hand.
Jack grabbed a pile of blankets and we formed a man huddle on either side of Kara. She wouldn’t even have the chance to be cold, or uncomfortable, or hungry. For the rest of the night we waited on her hand and foot, neither of us saying another word about the specifics of what the future might hold.
I didn’t want to leave her side, and I guess Jack didn’t either, because we constructed a dinner of finger foods that we ate in front of the television. Finally, after the movie was over, and we’d all eaten our fill, Kara said, “I think I need to take a walk.”
Jack and I looked at each other. It would be ridiculous to tell her no, right? She was a grown woman and she wanted to take a walk. I bit my lip and nodded at Jack. His face seemed to show the same reservations I felt.
“Okay,” I said slowly. “I’ll go work on some papers. Come find me when you get back?”
Jack looked between us. “I’ll go take a shower,” he said. “You’ll come get me too?”
I nodded and we both watched Kara look at us in puzzlement and walk out of the room. A few minutes later the front door opened and closed. I opened my mouth to say something to Jack, but I couldn’t think of a damn thing to say. He chuckled and shook his head.
“Me neither,” he said. “I have no idea.”
I closed myself up in my office and threw myself at the pile of papers I’d been neglecting and needed to grade. I could have made Kara do it later, but I didn’t want to do that. Everything inside me wanted to protect her from… well… from everything.
I got through half the stack before the feelings I’d been repressing bubbled up beyond my control. If Kara was pregnant, we could keep her. And the baby! She’d need to stay with us then, right?
That is, if she was willing. Maybe she didn’t want to have a baby right now, maybe she’d insist on not keeping it.
That thought brought a cloud of sadness over me, and I used all my energy to push it away.
Kara pregnant. Kara swelling with our baby. Kara, fertile and round, beautiful and pregnant. Kara at the height of womanhood.
My cock lengthened and swelled down my pant leg. Fuck. She would be even more beautiful than she is now.
It wouldn’t matter if it was my baby or Jack’s baby. It was all the same to me. It would be our baby.
I gripped my cock through my pants and squeezed. I hoped Kara would want to spend the night with us, the thought of her being pregnant with our child made me yearn for her more than ever before.
Later, she and Jack both came to get me, and like every night, we walked to the bedroom together. This time seemed special, sacred even. Kara didn’t look any different, but she seemed different to me. I couldn’t stop imagining her swollen with our baby, her breasts heavy and full, and her skin flush from hormones.
I wasn’t the only one with a rock-hard erection by the time we reached our bedroom door. Jack was ahead of me, wearing only a bathrobe, but he did little to hide his thick cock pointing straight up despite its heavy weight.
“I hope you’re up for some serious fucking tonight,” I growled in Kara’s ear.
She tittered and reached back to grip my cock. “Ohhh,” she said. “I think being naked with you two is exactly what I need right now.”
I tried not to act differently, and I could tell Jack was doing the same, but it was impossible not to handle her with a little extra care, a little extra worship. Usually when we had sex, we didn’t take turns, but tonight, both Jack and I fucked Kara from behind, while the other one of us knelt b
efore her beautiful face and slid our cocks in and out of her mouth.
It took everything I had not to let go inside her plush hot mouth, but I held back until I could wrap up in a condom and sink my cock deep into her swollen pussy.
The pussy that might someday birth my unborn child.
My eyes met Jack’s just as I hit orgasm. He gave me a half smile as he wrapped his hands around Kara’s hair. She’d learned how to completely take his cock and seeing her lips all the way to the base of his dick was a sight to behold.
Our girl.
Chapter Sixteen
Kara
I woke up first, nestled between Teddy and Jack like I had every morning for weeks. I lay there, my mind a blank. Something about this morning, something different.
I did need to use the bathroom.
My heart thudded. Oh yeah, the pregnancy test. I might be pregnant.
Nausea rolled up my throat, and my stomach felt swollen. Even if I was pregnant, those kinds of symptoms weren’t possible yet, were they? It must be psychological.
I slowly extricated myself out of the bed and stood over the foot of it and watched the guys sleep. They were like two slumbering gods with muscles on top of muscles, the sheet barely covering their tight asses and large half-swollen morning cocks.
Taught (Cypress Springs Trilogy Book 1) Page 10