Embracing My Submission

by Jenna Jacob

“So,” he stated as he slowly slid his fingertips over my nipples, “the panic that grabbed you wasn’t because you were thinking about Nelson?”

  He pulled away from me and picked up one of the dish towels used to tie my wrists, gently wiping our combined fluids from between my thighs.

  “Something had you spooked to lead you down the path of your past. Tell me what it was, Julianna. What made you go there?”

  I gently pulled the towel from his fingers, thinking how cute he looked with his jeans still bunched at his knees and smiled.

  “You look like you were in an awful big rush, Master. You didn’t even take your jeans off,” I teased as I gently cleansed his glistening shaft, paying special attention to the glossy juices still clinging atop his tight black curls.

  “You’re stalling pet. Tell me what you felt. What made you suddenly turn to ice beneath me?” He slid his fingers around my wrist and removed the towel from my hand.

  Stalling? Hell yes I was stalling. How in the world was I going to put into words the feelings that ripped through my soul as he claimed me with such command? Dammit, he probably already knew. Of course he knew. This wasn’t unchartered territory for him, just me. I’d never been “claimed” by Nelson, not in the way Mika claimed me. Good God! Could it get any more convoluted? I sighed heavily and lowered my head.

  “No. Look at me, love.” Mika lifted my chin, grazing his knuckles over my lips. “Put your emotions into words and tell me what you felt.”

  “You marked me...inside,” I said shyly.

  “Indeed I did.” He chuckled with a sublime, satisfied smile. “I plan on doing it over and over again, too. As soon as we get you on the pill.”

  Suddenly I saw that mischievous twinkle in his shimmering butterscotch eyes, the same glimmer he wore in my dreams. I shivered with déjà vu.

  “When you told me to come for my Master, it was heavenly. It felt right. Well, it felt better than right.” I felt my face burn in embarrassment. “It felt fantastic. Then when you started driving into me, your words were like a hot iron branding me, marking me, claiming me.”

  “Yes, pet. That’s exactly what I was doing, and I’m glad you understand.” His smile was filled with warmth, and his words of praise were slathered in pride.

  “And when you came, I felt like your slave. It was exhilarating, and it was so...I’m having a hard time putting all this into words. I...I felt complete.”

  “But...” he prodded.

  “But then I started worrying about losing myself, wondering how you’re so damn certain that I won’t lose myself again. How can you be so sure? I have no idea how I’m going to keep that from happening. Then you mentioned Nelson, and that’s when I got scared. I’m sorry. I know that’s not fair to do to you.”

  “No apologies for that, love. It’s human nature to expect what you’ve experienced. Our past dictates our present. The only thing I ask is for you to keep an open mind. Let me show you that the role of a slave isn’t like what you’ve experienced before. Nothing remotely close. I guarantee it’s not the preconceived notion you carry in your mind. Try and keep an open mind for me, will you?”

  I nodded and nibbled on my bottom lip.

  “Do you want to keep working?” His question seemed to come out of left field, and I gave him a puzzled look. “I know you shuffled your clients to another accountant when I got shot. Moses told me that you cleared your work schedule indefinitely.”

  “Yes, I did. I haven’t taken back any of my clients yet.”

  “Do you want to take them back?”

  “Yes. Of course.”

  “Fine. You want to continue working. I have no problem with that. But I want you to understand that I’m financially secure, and if you don’t want to work, you don’t have to. But, if you need that lifeline to feel secure with us, then I’m more than willing to allow that. For you.”

  I nodded as I issued a weak smile. It really was sweet of him to be so worried about my peace of mind. Foreign, actually. I was taken aback that he would do whatever necessary to ensure my emotional level of comfort remain secure.

  “The title of slave doesn’t mean you are without options. It means we, me as your Master and you as my slave, discuss and communicate all aspects of your life. Rest assured I will determine what’s best for you.” He wrapped his thick hand around my wrist. “Now, before you go running out of the room screaming in fear at my statement, let me explain so there’s no miscommunication.”

  Fear clutched my heart until Mika winked and grinned. I was struck with the realization that I would be a fool if I allowed my fears from the past to tarnish the Master/slave relationship he and I were now forging. There was no real reason for me to be scared, not with Mika caring for me.

  “I am responsible for your emotional well-being. I would never take away anything that defines who you are in your heart, mind, and soul. However, if you take on more clients than you can handle, it’s my responsibility to demand that you cut back. I won’t allow you to stress yourself out or become sick. I’m responsible for your physical well-being, too.”

  “I understand.”

  “Your mental welfare is also my job. I would never expose you to any type of mental abuse. Ever. It’s beyond the realm of a consensual relationship. Master/slave is a power exchange. You know that. And while a total power exchange is synonymous with Master/slave relationships, I would never tell you how to feel or how to think. You are still in command of the you inside, girl. However, it is paramount that you share with me all that goes on in that gorgeous head of yours. I won’t allow you to leave me out in the cold in regard to your emotions. I am the one who decides what is best for you. And that is what I think sends you to the dark side, that someone other than you is making that determination. Am I right?”

  Of course he was right. The idea of him taking control over my every decision, taking over my life, really did make me want to run from the kitchen screaming in fear.

  “Yes. You hit the nail on the head.”

  “Remember this above all else, you hold all the power. Submissives, slaves, whatever label you want to put on bottoms, hold all the power. Without giving that power over, we Dominants, Masters, Tops, would have no one to control.”

  I nodded as the dynamics of the lifestyle took on a whole new meaning.

  “I’m not Superman. While I’d like to think I’ll always know what’s best for you, in reality, that’s simply impossible. Even we Masters have our limits, occasionally.” He flashed a teasing wink. “What I’m trying to say, is that I won’t allow you to lose yourself. I won’t take that liberty. That would be a huge waste of what makes you my perfect slave. I don’t want you to change. I happen to love you just the way you are, my sassy, mouthy little wench.”

  My heart melted as he tenderly caressed my cheek.

  “Above all else, we are individuals, and no matter how close we grow together, we will remain separate entities. My dream is that we will choose to mesh ourselves as one as best we can. I guarantee I’ll want things my own way, but I will never disregard your feelings or your desires. I will always take them into consideration to determine what is best all around for you.”

  I blinked in disbelief, disbelief that his ideals of Master/slave were so similar to what I’d always envisioned them to be.

  “So, do you think you can live with that, pet?”

  “Yes, Master. I think I can. Wait, no.” I nodded with confidence. “I know I can.”

  Mika’s strong arms wrapped me tight against his chest. “Always tell me your fears. I’m here to ease them, to work through them with you. You can count on me, Julianna. And I promise that I’ll strive damn hard to never let you down.”

  “I’ll do my best never to let you down either, Master. Thank you.” I laved my tongue across his bronze chest and felt his cock jerk back to life against my belly. Unable to resist a tease, I ground my crotch against him.

  “Insatiable, much?”

  “Only when you’re around,” I mumbled, la
tching onto that tantalizing lip of his, tugging and purring.

  “Show me,” he growled, palming his engorged erection.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Easing off the table, I sank to his feet, kneeling before him in proper submissive form. With a provocative gaze, I savored his majestic body. He allowed me to admire his ample cock, rippling abs, broad chest, and chiseled shoulders. Imploring him with my eyes, an urgent whimper of need escaped my throat.

  “Yes, pet, all of it’s for you. Take me into that sinfully hot mouth of yours. Make love to my cock. Worship me with your tongue, your lips. Worship me from your heart.”

  I’d never felt so free, so naturally uninhibited. His shaft was mine to adore, to bathe with my reverence, to lavish with unrestrained adoration.

  This new level of submission was like a rebirth, a powerful awakening. I poured every ounce of that magnificent emotion into my lips, tongue, and fingers. My hands cupped and coveted his tightened shaft and slid like silk up and down the pulsating veins. Immersed in giving him pleasure, I was bathed in a golden warmth of serenity.

  “Your mouth feels like molten silk.”

  His hands clenched my mane as I groaned in delight around his cock.

  “Yes, like that. Keep sucking me just like that. Touch your clit. I want to feel you explode with me, feel you come with my cock in your throat. Take yourself to the edge, love. I’ll tell you when to fly.”

  Sweet Jesus! The idea of coming apart with his shaft deep in my throat was enough to catapult me to the brink. Emitting desperate muffled whimpers of gratitude, my fingers snaked down past my stomach and began strumming my clit.

  “Rub it hard for me, pet. Imagine my tongue batting that tight knot of nerves back and forth.” He hissed as he adjusted his fingers in my hair. Gathering even more curls into his fist, he tugged persuasively. “Look at you. You look so goddamn beautiful. Stunning. Your eyes are glazed in desire. Your lips are stretched so tight, stuffed full of my cock.”

  His coaxing words were a potent aphrodisiac, intensifying every sensation to a staggering level. I could feel each engorged vein rippling over my lips. My fingers dripped in my own sultry dew as I kneaded my slippery bud. I flicked the tip of my tongue along each contour of his cock and then sucked him deep and hard. Mika strengthened his claim on my hair, spiraling me up so fast, the fear of succumbing too quickly had me crying out to him in a muffled warning. I was close.

  “Wait for permission, girl. Don’t come,” he growled. “Just a few more minutes bathed in your heavenly throat. Then I’ll let you scream for me, pet. Christ, I love the way you look right now. So needy. Holding on by a thread. Your mouth is like a slick, sinful vise, and it’s mine, Julianna. Your mouth, your cunt, your ass, your very soul belongs to me.” His voice was like smooth scotch.

  I was slipping, sliding over the edge. Panicked cries vibrated over his shaft as I lunged forward, taking him as far down my throat as I could. Robbing myself of oxygen, I swallowed upon his crest as tears spilled from my eyes.

  “Fuck! Come my sweet slave. Now!” Mika cried as he released my hair and wrapped his hands around my throat, forcibly face fucking me upon his expanding shaft. His screams thundered and vibrated through my body as his hot seed blistered my throat.

  Swallowing rapidly, I inhaled a deep breath and joined him, shattering as I sucked him in a ravenous frenzy. His sweet cream exploded again, leaking out the sides of my straining lips. I was sucking and coming, screaming and swallowing in a crazed fervor. My pussy contracted forcefully, and I continued to guzzle his slippery, scalding seed.

  Whimpering as my own storm subsided, I eased the torrid suction of my mouth around his shaft. I fostered the last remnants of his come, lapping every last trickle from his twitching cock. My core spasmed in aftershocks as I cleansed him with my tongue.

  Forcefully pulling me to my feet, I swore there were tears in Mika’s eyes as he kissed me with an intense urgency. His arms held me in a desperate grip as he trailed his lips to my cheeks, over my jaw, and down my throat. Burying his face against my neck, his broad hand cradled my nape.

  “I love you, Julianna.”

  “I love you too, Mika.” Awestruck by the powerful sensations cascading through me, tears leaked from my eyes.

  Lying in bed after numerous rounds of exhilarating and exhausting sex, Mika’s fingers played with my curls as they spilled over his chest. My pussy was swollen and sore. It was obvious I’d not had sex in...forever. Thank goodness my jaws weren’t sore.

  “I’m so damn anxious to take you to the dungeon,” he whispered.

  Looking up at him, I smirked. “Impatient are we?”

  “Where you’re concerned? Always. You force me to struggle for patience, girl. I’m not sure I like that.” A serious expression fell across his face as my heart clutched with fear, fear that I wasn’t what he’d wanted after all. “I’ve been waiting for what feels like a lifetime. I need you to keep communicating with me. I don’t want anything to spoil what we have together. I won’t lose you, pet. I’m never going to let you go.”

  “I pray you never do.” Trying to chase away my insecurities and block the scary thought of losing him someday, I snuggled tightly against his chest.

  “Not happening,” he promised, squeezing me against him.

  After a long pause, Mika pulled me on top of his body and looked into my eyes. “I’ve been cooped up too long. Let’s go out for dinner and then stop by the club. Besides, even though you’ve not said so, I know your pussy is sore. I’ll beat your ass later for not telling me.”

  There was a wicked promise in his words.

  “Why would I have to tell you? You already know.” I bit my lips together, but couldn’t hide the rueful smile tugging the corners of my mouth.

  His hand landed soundly on my ass. “Communication, wench. Just because you think I might know...it’s your job to make sure I know. Got it?”

  “Yes, Sir. But you’re not supposed to drive for another week,” I reminded him, raising my brows.

  “I’m not supposed to be having marathon sex sessions with you, but that hasn’t stopped me now, has it?”

  “Stubborn man. I swear!”

  “I’m probably not supposed to take you over my knee and blister your ass, but I can do that too if you keep it up, pet,” he warned with an evil grin.

  “Look at the time. Where has the day gone? I think I’ll just go hop in the shower now!” I giggled and jumped out of bed.

  “You can run, but trust me girl, you can’t hide.” He laughed.

  ~*~

  Seated at a romantic table in the far corner of Maurizio’s, I picked at my veal, nervous and anxious about going to the club. I’d not been back since the night of the shooting. A million questions swirled through my brain. Was Mika planning on taking me up the back stairs to his private office, or was he going to reveal himself to the members? Were they still buzzing about the shooting? What kinds of questions would they ask me? What was I supposed to say about my absence? About the shooting? Only a select few from Mika’s inner circle even knew we were together.

  As the mixture of worry and fear fluttered in my stomach, I secretly wanted to go back to Mika’s, curl up on the couch with him, and watch a movie. I’d be safe from scrutiny there and wouldn’t feel as if I were under a microscope.

  “Julianna, look at me.” Mika voice was low but commanding. Jerking my head to meet his gaze, I could tell by his expression I’d done a pisspoor job of masking my worries. “What’s bothering you?”

  “It’s nothing. I’m okay,” I lied, determined not to spoil our first real date.

  A staid expression lined his face as he slowly placed his fork on the table. “Totally unacceptable, my pet. Not now or any day forward, will you keep secrets or omissions from me. I won’t tolerate it. Do you understand?” His voice was quiet but his words were clipped and terse.

  “Yes, Si...Master,” I mumbled.

  Easing back in his chair, his shoulders tensed. Crossing his thick
arms over his broad chest, he narrowed his eyes as his lips set in a tight line. Saying nothing, it was clear he was pissed and patiently waiting for me to speak. It unnerved me something fierce.

  “You may begin.”

  I knew what he was doing, but dammit, I didn’t want to confess that my insecurities were getting the best of me again. But like a dog with a bone, I knew he wasn’t going to let me off the hook until I spilled my guts. “I’m worried about going to the club.”

  “Worried about what?”

  “I don’t know what to expect. How will we be accepted? Are you going to scene with me in public? Are we going to your office so you can keep your identity secret still?”

  “So instead of asking me, you allowed all these questions to swirl in your head, thus shutting me out completely. Correct?”

  Guilt drowned out my anxiety. I’d let him down. And damn it, this is why I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to ruin our romantic dinner with my stupid fears. I nodded yes.

  “So instead of being in the here and now with me, sharing this lovely dinner, you’ve trapped yourself inside your mind with fears and insecurities, never bothering to share them with me or allowing me to help you work through them. You’ve taken on the onus of trying to deal with them all yourself. Is that right, pet?”

  Feeling like a chastised child, I exhaled, frowning and nodding.

  “So tell me. What purpose has it served, besides excluding me from important worries concerning you?”

  I lowered my head in shame. “They’re not important worries. They’re stupid.”

  “Look at me,” he whispered in an urgent tone.

  I raised my tear-filled eyes, and he blinked in surprise.

  “Whoa, girl. I’m not mad. You’re not in trouble,” he reassured me. “I’m not upset with you in the least. I’m simply trying to make a point. Anything that worries you or makes you feel unsure is important to me. You’re not alone anymore. You don’t have to handle uncomfortable issues or situations by yourself. The point I’m trying to make is a very simple one. This is a perfect example of what I’ve been saying to you. I won’t allow you to shut me out of anything concerning you. Do you understand?”