by T. K. Rapp
“Do you?”
I am the worst person in the world.
I know I’m a jerk to her and she’s done nothing to deserve it, other than being born.
“Of course I do,” I finally say and actually mean it. “Will you still love me if I’m Haden’s girlfriend?”
She nods and gives me a small smile but I know her heart is still hurt.
“What if I make you a deal?”
“What?” She widens her eyes and waits for my offer.
“As soon as you’re old enough, you can have Haden. I’ll just be his girlfriend until you’re older. Okay?”
“Really?”
“Really.” I smile. It’s a simple solution to an unrealistic crush and she seems to accept it.
“Thanks, LaLa,” she smiles.
I look over at Haden’s who’s been watching the entire time, and since the window is down, I’m pretty sure he’s heard the entire exchange.
He walks back to the car and sticks his head in. “Can I come back?”
Luka nods her head. “LaLa is going to be your girlfriend until I’m older, and then I get you back.”
Haden looks at me like he’s trying not to laugh, but I widen my eyes and shake my head, silently pleading for him to get in the car and drive us to Cole’s house.
He seems to understand my cues and does exactly that. They only live a block away, so he leaves the windows down and plays Luka’s favorite song as we go. I’m caught off guard when he reaches out and takes my hand in his.
We’ve been friends for so long and we’ve held hands.
We’ve hugged.
I’ve kissed his cheek.
This is not any of those; this is new and different, but I’m excited to see where it takes us. I thread my fingers through his and catch him glancing down at our hands, but my bliss is interrupted all too soon when we pull into the Camerons’ driveway half a mile down the road. Luka unbuckles her seat belt and hugs the headrest of Haden’s seat.
“Can we go in now?” She rocks back and forth until Haden lets go of my hand and turns the car off.
“Yep, let’s go.” I clap my hands and open the door before leaning the seat up so she can get out.
I step aside so she can get to Haden, but she surprises me when she stays by my side and holds my hand instead.
“Aren’t you going to walk with Haden?”
“I wanna go with you,” she says and hides behind my hand. Haden watches the exchange and is as confused as I am. I shrug and he starts walking and meets me in front of his car.
“You ready?” He nudges my elbow.
“Not at all,” I say truthfully.
“Good. Let’s do this.” He grabs my hand but I pull it back and watch disappointment take over his face.
What are the guys going to say?
“Not yet.” I shake my head slightly. “Let me talk to everyone first. I want to give them a heads-up.”
He relents and waits for me to walk ahead of him. “Fifteen minutes, then I tell everyone myself.” He grins and walks past me, grabbing my little sister—a.k.a. my shield—along with him.
“Hey, she’s with me,” I protest.
“Nope, she’s my date now.” He grins and continues walking off.
Cole opens the door and I’m frozen where I stand. Haden carries on like it’s any other day, swooping Luka into his arms and walking past our friend, offering a brief hello.
“I need to talk to you,” Cole says and walks toward me. Haden stops to check but I wave him on and he continues without another word.
“Something wrong?” I ask, unsure why he’s acting so weird.
“Yeah, what’s up with you and Searle?”
I don’t have to pretend to be shocked, because I am shocked. “Cole—”
“No.” He puts his hand up to stop me from speaking. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Okay,” I concede.
“No wait, on second thought, I do want to hear it.”
“I’m as shocked as you are,” I start, but then he starts laughing. “Wait, who told you?”
“Um, Joey?”
“I had no idea,” I drag out slowly.
“Where have you been?” He walks over and wraps an arm over my shoulder, and walks me to the steps. “He’s always liked you.”
“Why is it that everyone knew but me?”
“Because you were too busy being, well—you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Lai, you are always so worried about everyone else and looking after everyone. But you don’t see when things are happening to you. It’s actually kinda cool because you don’t realize how awesome you are.”
“So it doesn’t bother you?”
“Nope. Just don’t let me see y’all making out all the time and we’re good. Oh yeah, and you still have to set me up with someone.”
“With who, one of my many, many female friends? Oh wait, I don’t have those.” I stand up and walk into the house with him hot on my heels.
“C’mon, Lai, take one for the team, and by ‘team’ I mean ‘me.’ There’s gotta be someone who doesn’t hate you, right?”
“Thanks, Cole,” I deadpan.
“I’m kidding,” he drags me into the kitchen where his mom and stepdad Chris are waiting.
I walk over and give them both hugs. They ask about my parents and I let them know they’ll be over later, but Cole drags me away before I’m wrapped up in parental conversations. When we step out onto the back deck, Luka runs over and drags Cole with her to talk to him and Joey about being Haden’s girlfriend.
My new boyfriend—it’s so weird to even think of him like that—walks over to me to see how I’m doing.
“Just waiting to talk to Brax,” I tell him before he walks over to join the conversation held by my sister.
“Hey pretty girl,” Braxton calls from behind me, and I turn to give him a hug. “Be careful, I don’t want Haden getting all jealous.”
“So you already know, too?”
“Yeah, but it’s no surprise, really. Just a matter of time.”
“Well thanks for filling me in, don’t I feel like the idiot.”
“You should. I can’t believe you didn’t know. I figured you were just playing along for the sake of the group, I didn’t know you really had no idea.”
“Brax, I thought he was gay,” I mutter from the corner of my mouth. “I mean, he hasn’t dated anyone, how was I to know?”
“I can’t argue with you there,” he smiles. “Maybe it was just obvious to us because we knew about it for so long. I think he did a good job of keeping things low-key.”
“You think?” I almost yell as I stare out to my three friends who are chatting with my little sister. I look up at Braxton. “What about you? Anything I should know?”
“Nope, sorry Lai. As much as I’m sure you wish I was into you, I’m not.” He winks and I kick at his foot.
“That’s not what I mean,” I laugh. “I’m learning that everyone has secrets, and I thought we shared everything.”
“Where’s the fun in that? Everyone needs a little mystery. Otherwise, what’s there to learn about each other?”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “Well, don’t keep your deep darks too deep and dark for long. Okay?”
He gives me his signature one-arm hug and kisses the top of my head. “You got it.”
“Let’s go rescue Luka from those three,” I say as I step toward them.
“Since when do you care about your sister?”
“I’ve always cared,” I argue. “She’s just really good at doing what little bratty sisters do—annoy me. But… we came to an agreement today.”
“An agreement with a five-year-old? This I gotta hear.”
“I told her she can have Haden when I’m done with him,” I laugh just as we reach everyone. Luka looks up and smiles at me, but Braxton sits next to her on the bench.
“Hey Luka,” he says, pulling her to his lap, “why don’t you be my girlfriend? I�
��m nicer than Haden.”
Cole pipes up, “The hell—heck—you are.” He sits in the seat Luka left. “I’m cuter than all three of these fools.”
Joey looks at me and shrugs. “I guess I better make my pitch. Luka, I’m smarter than all of them.”
She glances my way and I throw my hands up, but Haden squats in front of her and asks the question I want to know myself: “Why me?”
“Because you got all the pretty bracelets and you got Lala flowers for her birthday last year. I like flowers,” she says shyly.
“Speaking of birthdays,” Joey interrupts. “Someone’s birthday is coming up.”
“No. Joey, I mean it. No.”
“You only turn eighteen once,” Cole argues.
“Party,” Haden laughs, knowing that I’m staunchly against it.
“We can do it at my house,” Braxton offers. “I’m sure my parents won’t care.”
“Guys, I’m serious. Can’t we hang at the quarry, just us? I don’t want to make a big deal about it. Besides, you four are my only friends, remember?”
“Too late.” Cole pulls out his cell phone. “I’m going to start texting people to make sure they save the date.”
“If y’all want a party so bad, just throw one—you don’t need my birthday as an excuse.”
“Lai, if we want to throw you a party, we’re going to throw you a party. And you’re going to smile and have a good time, because it’s your damn birthday.” Joey points as if it’s the final decision.
“Can I come?” Luka asks.
“I think it may be past your bedtime, but we’ll talk to your mom and dad,” he answers.
We all turn when we hear laughing and carrying on, realizing that my parents have arrived. I take Luka’s hand and walk her to Mom and Dad, and they give us both a hug before taking her off my hands.
Chapter 9 ~ Finding Rumors
“You ready for this?” Braxton asks when we get out of his car.
He came by to pick me up for school since we both have early tutorials, so I’m not sure what he’s asking about.
Am I ready to study?
Am I ready for people to find out about Haden and me?
Am I ready to get the day over with?
It’s a loaded question.
Instead of any of the questions running through my head, I say “Yeah, let’s do it.” I toss my bag over my shoulder and walk through the parking lot. There aren’t many people here yet, but the few that are stare a little more than necessary.
“So you and Haden,” he says, throwing an arm over my shoulder. “It wasn’t so weird.”
“Yeah, me and Haden,” I agree. “What about you, Brax? When are you finally going to choose someone?”
“How do you know I haven’t?” he challenges.
“Have you?” I ask with wide eyes. “Is there someone catching your attention?”
“Maybe.” He cocks his head to the side and smiles. “Maybe not.”
“You are one frustrating guy. You know that, right?”
“So I’ve been told.”
Most people around here have Braxton and other starters—football starters, that is—on a pedestal, and no one dare talks anything about or to them. There are a few who’ve been known to cross that line, but for the most part, there is a strange sense of respect among them.
Usually.
“So you finally tappin’ that, Braxton?” someone from behind us calls out.
Braxton’s not stupid. He knows the things people say about and to me, but he isn’t exactly privy to the constant barbs hurled my way on a daily basis. He stops mid-step and turns around to see two of his teammates laughing and carrying on. He looks at me and I shrug my shoulders and give him a what are you gonna do look and try to continue walking, but he tugs at my hand and stops me.
He is the only one who stands back to let me take care of myself and I relish the confidence he has in me.
“Tappin’ what exactly?” He starts to walk toward them with an eerie calm.
“C’mon, man, don’t get all pissy about it. It was just a joke,” Jason Cannon, the second string quarterback laughs.
“I’m not pissy.” He turns to face me with a confused look on his face. “Do I look pissy, Nixon?”
“Nope, not at all. You look downright relaxed, Brax. It must be from all that tappin’ you’re doing,” I say with a straight face.
“I suppose so,” he agrees and then turns back to the two roided-up jerks in front of him.
His teammate is not amused and decides not to back off. “Damn, Jameson. If you can’t get the job done, maybe you wouldn’t mind if I took Laila out.”
I can’t help but laugh and walk over to tell him exactly what he can do with his idea.
“Just in case you can’t understand me, I’ll speak in terms you might recognize.” I nod at him, still smiling. “You will never make the team, Cannon. You will always be second string and will never even get to suit up. Got it?”
His grin fades and the guy standing next to him, Marcus Taylor, slugs him in the arm and starts laughing. Cannon isn’t as amused with my rejection as the other guy and takes a step toward me, but Braxton places a hand on his shoulder and stops him.
“I didn’t know you had a incriminating plate,” he says.
I try to stifle my laughter, but it doesn’t work because Braxton lets out a gut-busting laugh. I join in and watch confusion cover Cannon’s face.
“It’s a dis-cern-ing pal-ate,” I correct, breaking the word up in explanation. “And I do, I have a very discerning palate—and illiterate assholes don’t make the cut.”
“Oh damn!” Marcus shouts before walking away, laughing the entire time.
For his part, Jason looks at me with wounded pride while he tries to think of a witty comeback—something to put me in my place—but when he remains at a loss I walk over and pat Braxton’s shoulder.
“Thanks for the ride, I’ll see you before class—I need to get to Mr. Garcia’s for tutoring.” He gives me a nod of approval, all the while Cannon tries to stare me down. I can feel his eyes burning into me when I walk away.
I hear Braxton lay into him when he thinks I’m out of earshot, but I’m not interested in the exchange. I said everything I needed to, so I know Brax is backing me up. He’s one of the good guys.
Thankfully, I have a few minutes to stop by my locker on the way because my bag is heavy. I make quick time of stuffing everything in there and grab my notebook so I can go over the notes from the other day.
Physics is not my favorite subject and I’m already struggling to maintain a B average. While my grades aren’t low, if they continue to drop I’ll have a hard time keeping my class rank, and thus getting into my first choice for college. Joey has helped when he can, but he’s been tutoring several students in other subjects and I don’t want to overload him. Mr. Garcia is a decent enough teacher, so maybe he will be able to explain projectiles to me.
As soon as I enter the room the thought that I wish I were struggling in a different subject crosses my mind. My legion of fans is very small, and my haters—well, I’m staring at three of them spread across the room.
Kasey Daniels is the senior class it girl. Every girl wants to be her and almost all of them hate her. But of course they follow everything she does because that’s what you do—follow the bitchiest girl and try to be just like her. Right? Kasey has been interested in Braxton for years—part of the reason for her scathing attack on me at the football game. She’s gone out of her way to get closer to him, but he’s never showed her any attention. Since she can’t be a jerk to him—you know, because it would ruin her potential chance of ending up with him—she lashes out at me. Whatever.
Cate Landry is not your typical popular girl. She’s pretty, average smarts, and a star athlete who has already lettered in three sports. I think that’s why she and Cole were drawn to each other. They dated for a few months at the end of junior year and into the early summer. I really liked her and I thought they made
a pretty cute couple. She and I actually got along well, and for a moment I let my guard down and thought that I might actually have a female friend. It didn’t last. Rumors started to spread mid-June that Cole had cheated on her and suspect numero uno was one of his oldest friends—moi. Needless to say, she’s not spoken to me again and makes sure to let me know how much she hates me.
And then there’s Bailey Butler, Joey’s girlfriend. She has that all-American girl-next-door thing happening. Her naturally blonde hair is cropped just below her shoulders and has a cute wave to it. She’s not the type Joey has dated in the past, Bailey is curvy with a great sense of style. I’ve had to listen to him endlessly drone on about her electric blue eyes as if they hypnotize him.
It’s funny because Bailey and I haven’t talked much, but I know more about her than I care to. She’s one of the few trust-fund kids in town, and when she and Joey started to date everyone wondered why. They are complete opposites, so I suppose that’s the draw. When he told me that they were going out on a date, my first thought was how much is he paying her? But then I remembered the fund and realized that she must really like him. That is all I need to know. She must be good people to see the awesomeness that is Joey Parker the third. Yet, she won’t hang out if I’m around, so I’ve made myself scarce.
It would be cool if we could actually talk and maybe she’d realize I’m not the enemy.
“Ms. Nixon,” the teacher calls when I take my seat, “glad you could make it. What is it that you need help with this morning?”
“Life,” Kasey mutters under her breath, but I ignore her.
“Projectiles,” I answer, turning to the page in the class textbook.
“Excellent, that’s why Bailey is in here, too. Why don’t you two get together and I’ll be there in a few minutes?”
Great.
I glance back at Bailey, who seems to share my unease at the pairing, but I get up and do as instructed and she moves her bag so I have a place to sit.
“How’s it going?” I ask her with a small smile.
“Could be better,” she answers. I’m not sure if it’s a jab at me, but I choose to overlook it.
“Why isn’t Joey helping you with this?” I point to the page in the book.