“There are no limits. Treat her tumour and her pain.”
“If you’re sure?” The doctor sighed.
“Don’t question me, Philip. It is none of your concern. Your only role is to make her more comfortable.”
I whimpered when something scratched at my upper arm. A deep sensation of utter calm and serenity took me into the blackness.
~~~
“Drink,” a soft female voice ordered as soon as I opened my eyes. A middle-aged, portly woman smiled softly at me, lines appearing beside her eyes. “How are you feeling, love?”
My headache had eased to a dull throb, and my body ached but nothing compared to how much it had hurt before. “Sore.”
Her eyes narrowed as she looked down over my body. I was surprised to find I was clothed, a long, soft pink nightdress covering my modesty. “Mmm.” That was all she murmured as she helped me up to lean on the bedhead.
“How long have I… been out?”
She sighed as she poured water from a jug into a crystal glass. “Around two weeks on and off.”
My eyes widened as I sipped at the water she held to my lips, greedily enjoying the luxury of the cool liquid soothing the burn in my throat.
“Are you hungry?”
I nodded. She replied with a smile as she lifted off the bed. “Soup?”
“Yes,” I whispered, stunned at how things had rapidly changed. “Please.”
Her smile grew with my manners, her wide, toothy grin motherly and comforting. “I’ll be right back.”
She closed the door behind her and I glanced around the room. This wasn’t my room. It was softer, the colours muted and easier than where I had slept before. Huge rose coloured curtains hung from the window, the delicate floral pattern matching both the bed linen and the soft furnishings decorating the room.
I gasped when my gaze landed on a mural of sorts decorating the longest wall. Butterflies, thousands of them, flittered over the paintwork, a rainbow of colours and a pattern of wings instantly drawing me in.
I lowered my feet to the floor, grimacing at the dull pain through my beaten body as I pushed myself upright and shuffled across the room. My legs wobbled but I put it down to the seizure of unused muscles as I made my way to the wall.
It was stunning, each butterfly pressing out of the wall. They weren’t real but the way they had been crafted was spellbinding, they looked and felt real as I stroked the tip of my finger across a particular pale blue one that called for my attention. The softness to its faux wings tickled my fingertip, making me smile faintly.
“Holly Blue.”
I spun round, wincing at the pain that tore through my knees with the sudden action.
“Sorry?” I asked as Master stepped through the door, his eyes intent on me.
“The butterfly. It’s called Holly Blue.”
“Oh.” He walked towards me while I turned back to the wall. “It’s…” I paused and shivered as he came to rest beside me, his huge body shrouding me. “Beautiful.”
“Yes.” He sighed deeply. “It is. Delicate and simply stunning.”
I nodded, the gentle blueness of it giving me reason to smile. “Do you like butterflies?” I asked as I kept my gaze on the flurry before me. “Are they your thing?”
He was silent and I turned to study him. A small smile curved the corners of his lips as a twinkle lit his eyes, transforming his usual stern features into something of pure beauty. “My thing?”
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “You know; your hobby, the thing that floats your boat, your diversion… your thing.”
He diverted his eyes as he tried to hide his amusement. “No, Mae. Butterflies are not my thing.”
I nodded, wondering why the hell he had a whole wall decorated with fake butterflies if they didn’t appeal to him. “So whose thing are they? I mean, you don’t decorate a whole fifteen foot wall with the insects if they do nothing for you.”
The air around me physically cooled, oxygen rapidly depleting from the atmosphere. I knew instantly I had asked the wrong question.
“Nadu, Mae,” he ordered suddenly, causing me to jump in surprise.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”
His teeth sank into his bottom lip, his customary habit alerting me to his fury. I dropped to my knees before him as quickly as I could manage, shifting into the required pose as I stared straight forward. My eyes widened when I noticed the strain in the crotch of his trousers. The arsehole was turned on. What the fuck?
My breath paused when he calmly strolled around behind me, the unknown frightening as anguish flooded my body. I gasped when his hand pressed on the back of my head and he pushed me downwards until my forehead rested on the carpet, my arse stuck up in the air behind me.
“Place your hands on the back of your neck, lamb.”
“What?” I spluttered as I tried to turn to him.
He was suddenly framing me, his strong body pressing against my back as his hot breath rippled over my ear. “You will refrain from any questioning. I ask, you obey. Is that clear?” I squeezed my eyes closed as he once again pressed my forehead to the floor. “IS THAT CLEAR?”
“Yes, Master,” I spat, trying to control my temper.
“Again!”
“Yes,” I whimpered as he grabbed a handful of my hair and twisted it, my roots screaming in pain at his hold. “Yes, Master,” I repeated as I quickly brought my hands to clasp behind my neck.
His grasp loosened immediately. “Open your thighs.”
Nausea curled deep as my stomach revolted to his demand. Heat flooded my cheeks as I obeyed and shuffled my aching knees apart.
Mortification hit me when he lifted my nightdress and cool air caused goosebumps to erupt over my backside. I shivered as one of his fingers traced the groove between my buttocks, the tip of his finger pressing against my anus. “Please…” I begged but shuddered when he slid the very tip inside. I blew out a breath as heat travelled into my stomach, my thighs rippling with desire as I fought against the treacherous sensation.
He pushed in further, the sensation unfamiliar and shameful. “Please don’t.”
My breath paused in my lungs as a scurry of arousal ripped through me. Oh Christ!
I should be revolted by his touch, horrified. However, his contact did none of those things. I whimpered with shame when my body took control and my hips pressed backwards, seeking more of his pleasure.
I started to pant when he slid his finger in and out slowly, the pleasure building until my body throbbed in need, my brain crying out for release as my blood swelled inside my veins. “Please,” I repeated but this time with a completely different meaning.
“You see how I own you, lamb. How willing your body is to succumb to me.”
I nodded; my throat had closed up to the sensations running through me. “Oh, God,” I rasped when his stroke sped up. My backside burnt when he inserted another finger but when the initial pain subsided, all that remained was bliss and need, want and desire.
“Tell me what you want, Mae.”
I gulped, embarrassment leading to shame. “I… I don’t know… I just need…”
“You need me to make you come. You want me to provide you with the oblivion of climax.” It was a statement, not a question and I nodded. Fuck yes, I did need him to make me come. It felt like my life depended on it, the pressure ready to blow my mind if it wasn’t set free soon.
“Yes. Please…. Oh, God, please, Master.”
My whole body went into lockdown as my first ever orgasm floored me. Every single muscle in my body tightened as his fingers pounded deeply and more fingers pinched my clit hard. A silent scream erupted from my throat as my back arched, the sore muscles screeching in pleasure at the pain.
I couldn’t breathe, my lungs had constricted. A deep throb fired up my spine and pulsed bliss through my brain, dragging a deep sigh from me as my forehead dropped to the floor once more, but this time in need instead of demand.
“Oh fuck!” I breathed out
as ecstasy rippled through me.
Oh fuck! I tensed as soon as it left my lips, hoping I’d said it quiet enough for Master to miss. Yep, no such luck.
I screamed as a fire struck my bottom, the palm of his hand cracking my flesh. “I’m sorry,” I cried out as another blow stripped my poor skin.
He remained silent as he rained stroke after stroke on my tender skin, each crack firing painfully through me. Yet, when his breath started to soothe the burn after each strike, another completely different pain overwhelmed me. It was a pulsing pain, a heady almost pleasurable pain. I started to lift my hips in time for each of his smacks, anticipating them, needing them even.
There was something seriously wrong with me. I was sick and twisted, taking enjoyment from the dark debauched givings of my Master.
I turned to look over my shoulder when a faint moan broadcast Master’s own arousal. I gasped, my lips parting as I watched him spank me with one hand, his thick cock in his other hand, his fist stroking briskly as he brought himself off. His eyes found mine as his pupils exploded and his cum shot across my back, the thick white cream pumping from him onto the now red skin of my arse. His jaw trembled as he held my gaze, fire spreading over his face as he released another moan of gratification.
He was stunning, the sheer power he projected in that moment of euphoria hypnotising me, holding every single part of me hostage as I watched his satisfaction.
We both stilled when the door swung open and the woman who had tended to me earlier pushed through with a tray in her hands. Her eyes widened on us as she gasped.
“GET OUT!” Master bellowed at her.
“I’m so sorry, Daniel.” She flustered as she quickly diverted her eyes and fled back through the door.
“Don’t look at me!” Master hissed when my eyes found his again.
He pulled himself back together but I refused his request and watched him quickly tuck himself away. Pain and torment held his expression, his disgust at what had just occurred hurting something inside me.
“I’m sorry I repulse you,” I whispered without thinking. I shouldn’t have been sorry, I shouldn’t have given a damn what he thought of me, but strangely I did. I wanted him to like me, to desire me. There was something about him, no matter how dark his depravity went, that called to me, as though his soul mirrored my own, its call for comfort and understanding denying my hatred towards him.
His eyes snapped to mine and his brow wrinkled. His eyes penetrated deep within me as slight confusion influenced his expression. He was quiet for a moment, his body tight and still as his eyes concentrated on mine. He then gave me a simple nod.
“Clean yourself. I shall be back later and we will start your education.”
Education?
He didn’t give me a chance to respond before he stormed from the room. His anger controlled his posture, his shoulders pulled back, the thick muscle of them straining the expensive material of his shirt. His backside was firm, the taut fabric of his trousers showcasing his tight buttocks.
I lowered my eyes to the floor as I sat back on my heels, disgusted with myself for checking him out.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked myself as the portly woman once more appeared in the doorway.
She gave me a small smile. “I’ve left the soup to warm whilst you take a shower.”
I nodded and pulled myself up, allowing her to lead me into the bathroom. I watched her as she pre-warmed the water and collected a few things in readiness for me.
“What’s your name?”
She turned to me, her expression troubled and full of lost hope. “Pauline.”
I smiled back at her. “Well, thank you, Pauline.”
She frowned as she slipped her hand under the spray of water to check the temperature. “What for?”
“For showing me kindness. For treating me as a human and not a dog. For helping me.”
She swallowed heavily but shook her head. “Do not let my care confuse you. I am ordered to do these things, none of them are from my own compassion. You are stock, Mae, and I must treat you as such.”
My stomach plummeted at her words and tears burnt my eyes. Did no one in this place care? Were they all on a mission to hurt me? My heart ached when I realised that my final days on this earth would be surrounded by people who hated me, people who neither liked nor cared for me.
I nodded and stepped into the shower, releasing her of her discomfort. I waited until the sound of the door closed before I slid to the floor and released the torrent of unhappiness that choked my throat.
Despair and resignation brought frantic sobs. I wished for the progression of my cancer, hoped for its end to relieve me. As though empathising, my brain throbbed in reply, letting me know it was the only thing on my side.
It was with me, the tumour feeding from me, the only thing that needed me. The only thing that could grant me an escape from this nightmare and I prayed for it to hurry the fuck up.
Chapter Nine
‘It is the teaching that prepares us, not the lesson.’
“Feed from it, Mae.” His voice was tight, the timbre to it a deep rasp as though my pain was his pleasure. “Let the sensation take you higher.”
How the fuck did he expect me to take it higher when every single inch of my skin blazed, my body already soaring with awareness?
“I can’t,” I sobbed out. “Please, no more.”
He was relentless, the lash of the whip on my back severe and gruelling. “Shut down your mind, lamb. You should be accustomed to this, the slice of your soft skin, the flow of blood beyond your body. You are merely a vessel, a holding for something that carries the pain around your body. Set it free, Mae. Release the pain with the spill of your blood.”
What the fuck was this guy on? He was crazy; a freak against nature.
“Would you like to swap places? Show me how it should be done? Maybe my skin is too thin, you know, or maybe I’m just a chicken.” I ground out, my temper hanging on by a thread and giving me courage to rant.
He stilled immediately and I grimaced. Oh Christ, I’d upset him again.
I sighed in preparation but my eyes widened when he spluttered. I was too scared to remove my forehead from the floor but his deep chuckle shocked me. I wouldn’t have ever had him down as a chuckler, however it lit something inside me and I started to giggle with him.
“Your skin is too thin?” he mocked. “What the bloody hell, Mae?”
I shrugged as laughter rendered me heavy. Unable to move my head due to the hard laughter, I turned my face into the cement floor. “Heck yeah, I’m quite delicate, you know?”
I think I may have lost my mind right then. My own blood was trickling past my face, the copper stench of my life assaulting my nostrils. An absolute nutter was stripping the skin from my back bit by bit and the pain running through me was horrendous; yet, there I was laughing so hard I gained a cramp in my side.
He plonked his backside onto the floor beside me as his laughter took him. I turned my head and looked at him. He was beautiful, his merriment morphing his usual strictness into a carefree expression. Relaxation and happiness suited him, constructed his face into sheer perfection.
His laughter subsided and his eyes found mine. An odd chuckle shook his chest randomly as his humour disappeared and something quite different overtook him. His face relaxed, his eye colour deepened, his chest lifted and fell heavily and his lips parted slightly.
My lungs squeezed tight, holding the air inside. I was terrified to breathe in case it spoilt the moment, took his softness away.
I stared at him, my brow lowering with the pain in his eyes. His tongue darted out and traced the contour of his bottom lip, but his dark eyes never left mine.
“Why didn’t you accept treatment?”
His question caught me off guard and I stiffened. I blinked in surprise and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I didn’t answer him; he didn’t need to know why I had refused every offer at extending my life expect
ancy.
He didn’t grow angry at my refusal as I thought he would, he just continued to gaze at me, confusion and sadness possessing his scrutiny.
“Has life really been that cruel, Mae?”
My eyes dropped to the floor and I regained my stance, my knees and forehead touching the cold concrete floor, my arms stretched out before me and my back arched in readiness for my punishment.
The heavy atmosphere threatened to consume me as I closed my eyes and awaited his continuation of torture. I was pleading for him to take me away from the anguish cut deep and free the thoughts running through my mind. He was correct with one aspect of his lesson; it did take me away from myself, it did allow liberation to my mind, taking the worry of death and the preparation of upcoming pain to disappear under his rule.
“Please,” I choked out.
His anger with my diversion physically took over the room. I heard him shuffle to his feet, his breath hissing as he sucked it angrily through his teeth.
“You think you can still deny me, lamb? Refuse my demands?”
I winced as a tear slid free when he brought the whip back down more severely than before. My eyes burnt with each further blow, his fury powering his brutalisation. “You will succumb, Mae. You will give me everything, even your thoughts.”
He won then, when my mind could take no more. Numbness took me into oblivion; detachment seized my mind and freed me. I sighed as another strike eased the pain, cooled the agony.
I smiled softly, memories of my mum taking the pain and giving me comfort as I once again sang gently with her, the lyrics soothing to my distress; her warm, happy smile giving me peace.
I hadn’t realised the torture had stopped. I hadn’t noticed Master had ceased his obstinate persecution. I just sang softly, serenity flooding me as my mother’s voice echoed around me as we once again sang together.
I remained there; my forehead on the floor, my knees aching from the cold concrete and my bare behind stuck high for a long time.
The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly) Page 8