by Maren Lee
When Jake got to the kitchen his mom was busy at the sink peeling potatoes, a bloody mary by her side.
“Mom!” He shouted. Sarah jumped and turned around. “Morning, Ma. Got any coffee? Or should I make some?” Jake walked around the island to get to the coffee pot.
“Jake! You scared me. You can’t do that to a sleep deprived woman. I was up late last night dealing with all the drama.”
“Sorry.” Jake grinned. He wasn’t sorry. The coffee pot was empty so Jake began prepping a new pot.
“How are you, Jakey? You and Lane make up?” She dried her hands on the dish towel next to the sink.
Jake smirked, “Yeah, we made up. I proposed to her last night. Wasn’t planning on it happening like that, but it did. Nothing has worked out as planned for us anyway, so I might as well keep her on her toes, right?” He gave his mom and wink.
“Oh, Jake!” She moved over to him and hugged him tightly, “I am so happy for you. About all of it.”
“Thanks, Ma. Lane and I weren’t planning on telling anyone about the baby until later next month. I kind of screwed that up.” His mom slowly released her tight grip on him.
“You may have messed up your plans, but you made mine and your father's entire year with that news! After finding Katie with her boyfriend, he was ready to have another mid life crisis. I didn’t want him to buy another goddamn pontoon boat, so I had to give him some good news.” She rolled her eyes.
“Seriously? Katie is 22 years old. That made him lose his mind?”
“Oh no, he was pissed about that. But he didn’t really lose his mind until he found out the neighbor boy was the one to pop her cherry when she 16.”
“What? Jesus, Mom. Don’t say shit like that. ‘Pop her cherry?’ Who says that?” Jake felt himself gag at her words.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jake. Don’t be so sensitive. You’re 37 years old. Nothing should surprise you by now.” Sarah raised her eyebrow at her son.
Jake’s jaw dropped at his mother’s harsh words and then laughed. “I know, but you’re my mom. And hearing you talk like that is gross. Not to mention the fact that you’re talking about, my baby sister. She’s supposed to be the innocent little princess her whole life.”
“Yeah, your dad thought so too. God, men are so annoying. Haven’t I ever given you my ‘virginity is a societal construct created by men to control women?’ speech?”
Jake laughed even more. “Oh good lord. No wonder you love my future wife so much. You guys are literally the same person. Are all feminists programmed with shit like that? I’m fuckin’ surrounded.”
“I knew I liked that girl! But watching your dad last night was like watching him react the same way all over again when I told him I was pregnant with you our senior year. Thankfully this time he didn’t threaten to call the condom company and give them a piece of his mind.”
“Jesus. I can only imagine. So what did he say when you told him about me and Lane?”
“Typical double standard,” his mom scoffed. “He did one of those hand pumps, what do you call it?” She asked cluelessly.
“A fist pump? Like this?” He clenched his fist and punched the air above him.
“Yep, that’s it. He was so happy. We were so worried you were never going to find someone you wanted to settle down with, and now you are doing it all in a few short months!” Her eyes relaxed and glassed over. She was elated. His mom was definitely fighting back tears.
“Yeah I guess it is happening all at once isn’t it? We didn’t plan it this way, but honestly? I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. She makes me so goddamn happy, Ma.”
“That’s wonderful, son. We can see that she makes you happy. You’ve never brought anyone home for the holidays with you - well, except for Justin. Then you two idiots would go trolling for women at the bar on Thanksgiving. I don’t miss having to worry about finding strange women in the kitchen in your shirt in the morning.” Sarah started laughing.
“That was Justin breaking the rules, not me. And we weren’t that bad! Just every now and then we’d do something stupid. Please do not repeat any of those stories to my woman. I’ve kept no secrets from her, but she’s a little sensitive to my past,” he begged his mother.
“Okay, I’ll keep that stuff to myself.” Sarah bumped him with her hip, “Now get out of my kitchen until I holler for you. Put the parade on for my baby granddaughters. Dad should be out of the shower soon. He loves watching it too.”
Jake gave his mom a thumbs up and headed to the living room. Mia and Ally would love the parade. After he finished setting up the TV for the girls, he took his cup of coffee with him and went to wait around the corner from his parents’ bedroom to startle his dad when he came out.
Five minutes passed before he heard the familiar clicking of the bedroom door. Jake set his coffee cup down quietly on the credenza and waited for his dad to round the corner.
“Morning!” Jake shouted just as he turned the corner.
His dad practically jumped out of his skin. “Jesus. Fucking ass fucker!” Joe shouted, “God dammit, Jake!”
“What? I was just saying good morning, dad.” Jake laughed to himself. This never gets old.
“Yeah, bullshit. You just wait, bud. Now that you have a little one on the way, I’d be lying if I told you I hoped your kid doesn’t scare the shit outta you.” Joe punched him in the shoulder then wrapped his arms around him in a giant bear hug, Jake squeezed back, “I love you son. I’m so goddamn happy for you and Lane. She’s a keeper.”
“I know, I asked her to marry me last night.” They released from their hug.
“No shit? Hamiltons are growing by two? Hell yeah! We need to celebrate today! Too bad your old lady can’t drink with us.” Joe gave a sympathetic look with a giant grin still plastered on his face.
“Yeah, don’t remind her, alright? She’s pretty bummed about no wine. We brought a couple bottles of Fre, the alcohol free wine. Hopefully that tides her over.”
“Well, your mom drank when she was pregnant with you, but I guess that isn’t cool anymore.” Joe shook his head like he didn’t quite understand.
“What the fuck, Dad? Mom drank while she was pregnant with me? She was only 17! And it’s not that it’s not ‘cool.’ It’s that it’s not healthy for the baby.” Jake rolled his eyes at his dad.
“You’re probably right. You did turn out to be a little bit of an asshole. Maybe that is our fault. But it was the 70s.” He shrugged.
Jake laughed and shook his head. “Come on old man. Let’s see if we can steal some pie for breakfast.”
“Yeah, right. Dani read your mom the riot act over feeding the girls any kind of sweets in the morning. She keeps the desserts on lockdown now.” Joe walked into the kitchen first, Jake right behind him.
Jake looked at his dad, “You take the left, I’ll take the right?”
“Let’s give it our best shot.” Joe nodded.
Sarah turned around, “Get your greedy mouths out of the kitchen unless you’re ready to start baking. Pie is for after dinner.”
Damn. Shut down before they even had a chance.
“Joe, your coffee is by your chair. Jake, take this tea up to Lane, I don’t know if she has an uneasy stomach in the morning, but this should help if she does.” She handed Jake a cup, “Go take care of her. I promise we’ll be cool when she comes down. Won’t we Joe?”
“Yep!” His dad shouted from the living room.
“Yes, Ma'am.” He grabbed the cup from his mom.
Jake knew the perfect way to wake Lane up.
➰
Lane stepped into the shower still laughing about Jake waking her up this morning. He’d tried to massage her feet while she was sleeping. Never a good idea when you don’t know if someone enjoys that or not. Jake learned the hard way. She instinctively kicked her foot and hit him square in the balls. He’d crumpled into a pile on the bed groaning in pain. She immediately felt bad because she would never want to hurt him without reason, but his fac
ial expression and his massive muscular frame curled up like a baby was a sight to see. The funniest part was he’d brought her a cup of tea his mom had made for her to help her with her nausea. But it turned out Jake was the one who really needed it. Jake flipped her off and laughed, though still pained, when she offered it to him.
That's when she decided to go and get showered. Lane let out another laugh to herself as the hot water began to cascade down her back.
“Quit laughing at me, honey. I’ll spank you right here, right now.” Jake poked his head around the entrance to the shower.
Lane gave him a sassy smile. “Please do come give me a spanking. And I’m sorry your balls hurt babe. Please forgive me.”
“They hurt,” he pouted as he pulled his shirt up and over his head. “But not bad enough to keep me from getting in here with you” Jake slid his pants down and entered the shower.
“You’re up for it already?” Lane asked, shocked by his answer.
“Does it look like I’m up for it?” Jake gestured down to his length.
Fuck yeah he was. Jake didn’t say another word before he crowded her against the shower wall, water running down his back and over his shoulders pooling where their chests met. He kissed her hard. Needy. Something had changed in him last night after he’d proposed. As if the man with unlimited confidence became even more confident in his relationship with her. It was sexy as hell to be worshipped by him. With his mouth. With his hands. With his cock. He reached around her and pulled her legs up and around his waist, his hardness pressed at her entrance. Jake pushed her against the shower wall for leverage and spanked her ass with his right hand.
“That's for laughing at me, Karate Kid.” Lane giggled and Jake covered her mouth with his again. He pushed his tongue into her mouth at the same time that he thrust his hips to push inside of her.
Lane moaned into his mouth. Jake pulled away from her and kissed along her jaw as he moved in and out of her slowly. It felt amazing. Lane ran her hands through his hair, her arms wrapped around his neck, fingernails digging into his shoulders.
Jake picked up the pace slightly, “God, I love you, Red.”
Hearing him say the words made her core ache, her walls tightened against his hard cock inside of her, “Jake!” she gasped, “I love you, too.”
Jake moved faster and then whispered in her ear,“I need it hard baby. You want it hard?” He continued to move in and out, pushing deeper with each thrust.
“Fuck yeah, I do. I want it hard and deep.” Lane pulled her legs tighter around him. Jake let out a growl.
He gave her exactly what she asked for. He thrust harder and deeper. The water dripping down his back splashed on her face. She ran her hands back up into his hair and dug her nails into his scalp as he bottomed out inside of her. He let out a deep moan as he snaked his hand between their bodies. Jake lightly rubbed her throbbing clit as he moved out and then back inside of her. Lane’s body responded. She came hard, her vagina pulsing as she dripped all over his cock. Her entire body tingled. She could tell Jake felt that. He bit his lip. The pulsing in her pussy was slowing and he slammed into her once more, flicking her swollen nub as he came deep inside her. Her core began flexing again, milking his cock as their come ran out from where they were connected.
Jake kissed her softly. He slowly lowered her back to the tile floor. His arms still bracing her.
“Do your balls feel better now, babe?” Lane stepped on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek.
“Much better. Empty for now. Let’s wash up.” Jake kissed her forehead.
Lane reached for the shampoo and Jake quickly grabbed it.
“That’s my job.” Jake squeezed a huge pile of shampoo on his hand.
“I am not trying to be a critic, but that is a shit load of shampoo,” Lane criticized. It would take an hour to wash all that out.
“Oh, I thought that was body wash. My bad.” Jake flipped half of it off of his hand. It was like watching liquid gold run down the drain. Good shampoo and conditioner was fucking expensive. Damn it. Jake put the remaining shampoo in her hair and massaged her scalp.
“So, I take it you don’t like your feet being touched when you’re sleeping?” Jake moved her under the stream of water. She shook her head. He moved her back out of the stream of water and wiped her eyes off with the washcloth from the shelf in the shower.
“I would have kicked the Pope if he touched my feet while I was sleeping.” She laughed.
“Noted,” he grabbed the conditioner and put it in her hair, “Do you let this stuff sit?”
“Yeah, just for a minute.”
Jake grabbed the new bar of soap and began to move it all over her body. His hands felt good any time they were on her body. He gently washed between her thighs and giggled like a little kid as he moved the bar of soap down her butt.
“It’s your turn next, buddy.” Lane slapped him on the arm lightly.
“Nope. It takes you longer to get ready, I’ll wash myself and shave while you get ready.” He moved her back under the water before she could protest.
Lane ran her hands through her hair to rinse the remainder of the conditioner out. Jake held out a towel for her when she opened her eyes.
“Thank you.” She grabbed it and pulled it tight to her chest. It was fluffy and soft his mom didn’t skimp out on the linens in this place.
“Take your time getting ready sweetheart. I’ll wait for you and we can go downstairs and face the throngs of excited family together. My dad knows now, too. Not sure if Dani and Greg know, but I wanted to be there in case anyone starts asking questions.”
“Thank you, Jake. I want to wear my ring, but would it be weird?” Lane wasn’t sure how to handle this type of situation. She’d never had a family heirloom, she didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
“You damn well better wear it. It’s yours, I gave it to you. Everyone in my family is happy about us, baby. Don’t worry.” He kissed her softly on the lips.
Lane nodded and wrapped the towel around her, “Okay. Just making sure.”
When she finally finished blow drying her hair and putting on her makeup, Jake had already gotten dressed, made the bed, sorted their dirty laundry, and watched an episode of Hard Core Pawn. Stupid fucking show.
She walked out of the bathroom and Jake forgot to breathe. Hot damn, she gets more and more beautiful. He grabbed Lane’s hand. “You look smoking hot, babe. I don’t know how I’m going to hide my hard on all day.”
“Stop. I don’t look hot. These leggings are starting to show a little bump now. I tried to cover it up with this baggy sweater.”
“The baggy sweater isn’t making you any less sexy in my eyes. Holy God, your tits look amazing,” He tugged on her hand, “Come on.”
They walked into the kitchen hand in hand. Mia made eye contact with Jake and immediately ran over to him screaming, “Uncle Jake, I’m going to have a new friend to play with?!” Apparently everybody knows. Lane felt herself clam up. She had no idea how to talk about this. Jake scooped Mia up with his left arm, and continued to hold Lane’s hand with his right.
“That’s right, kiddo. And you get another Auntie, too. This is Auntie Lane.” Mia peaked over his shoulder and smiled at her.
“Everybody knows, I take it?” Jake looked around the room for confirmation, they all nodded their heads.
“Knows what?” Shiloh looked up from his phone.
“Jesus, you don’t fucking listen to me do you? My brother and his fiancée are having a baby.” Katie said as she elbowed him in the ribs.
Shiloh looked between the two of them, “A baby. Gross.” Then he looked back down to his phone.
“That’s fucking it.” Joe got up from the bar at the island and moved inches from Shiloh’s face, “Listen up, you punk little sonofabitch. Don’t you ever talk about any member of my family and use the word ‘gross’ again. That’s my grandbaby you're talking about there. The only thing gross around here is your hair and your fucking manners!” Joe w
as fuming.
Wow. Go Joe. So that’s where Jake’s hot head comes from. He was just as bad. Maybe even worse.
“Joe, language.” Sarah gestured to the little girls.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have cussed.” Joe let out a deep breath and pointed at the hipster man-bun boyfriend, “You’re on thin ice, bub.” Joe grabbed the newspaper off of the kitchen counter.
As he headed out of the kitchen, Joe passed by Lane and stopped. “Welcome to the family, darlin’.” He kissed her cheek and Jake squeezed her hand.