by Derek Slaton
“But yes, you are correct, he did pull a Bif Tannen,” she continued. “Robert was a huge baseball fan, so he was able to amass quite a fortune early on.”
“And he was able to use those ill-gotten gains to turn himself into a movie star. Brilliant.”
“He thought so,” Artemis said, giving Robert a little salute. He raised his glass in response.
Hodge turned his attention back on her. “Okay, so I get how he was able to let you know you had a time machine, but it still doesn’t explain why you didn’t have much time to alter the war. I mean going back to 1925 would give you plenty of time, wouldn’t it?”
“You are correct, going back to 1925 would have given us plenty of time,” she agreed. “Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. When activated, the alien probe sends people back exactly 106 years into the past. And because we don’t have any control over it, we had to wait for the probe to power up on its own.”
“And let me guess, it takes a while for that to happen,” he cut in.
She nodded. “Five years, three weeks, six days and fourteen hours to be precise. My team and I arrived in 1930, and it took us two months to get to Germany. That didn’t give us a lot of time to start eliminating the people we needed to.”
Hodge downed the last of his coffee and wiped a drop from the corner of his mouth. “You know, I have to hand it to you, that was one hell of a story,” he admitted. “I almost started to believe that you were a part of some sort of eliminator time force that came here to save humanity. You should be proud because you were that convincing. And finding a lookalike for Doctor Roth from Day of the Demon, my god that was priceless. But I’m afraid that my cup is empty, so it’s time to go find you a nice comfy room at the asylum.”
Artemis leaned back in her chair, seemingly relaxed about the whole thing. “So you aren’t interested in finding Anthony Duke?”
“Oh, I’m very interested,” he said, “I just don’t have any confidence you can help me. It’s one thing to listen to a crazy alien time travel story over a cup of coffee. It’s another thing entirely to go on a wild goose chase.”
She nodded. “Fair enough. So what will it take for you to believe me?”
“You can use your crystal ball and tell me where Anthony Duke is.” He rolled his eyes.
“I wish it were that easy, but he has fallen off the grid and I can’t get a solid read on his whereabouts. That’s why I contacted you, I need your help,” she explained.
He sighed. “Well that’s convenient. So you have nothing then?”
Robert dropped a file folder in front of Hodge, and set a full mug of coffee beside it. “This should do the trick,” he said, and then headed back to the bar.
Hodge took a sip of his fresh coffee and inspected the folder. “Thank you, sir,” he called over his shoulder. “So tell me, Artemis, what do we have here?”
“You have the information on the murder of Anna Page, who will be found dead tomorrow by a couple of hikers,” she said.
He pursed his lips. “So you have tomorrow’s headlines.”
“Keep going, there’s more,” she urged.
He flipped through the printouts before pausing on a headline from 2020. “Wow, nice Photoshop work there. You even redesigned the newspaper’s logo.”
“Not Photoshopped, just printing out the real news story,” she replied.
He made a noncommittal noise and ran his finger down the page. “Okay, let’s see here. So Dan Bankston murdered Anna, along with six other women between now and when he is caught in 2020?”
“Yep, today is his first kill,” she confirmed. “He picks his victims from internet dating sites, focusing on the women who enjoy camping. They go out on a few dates before he gets them to go out into the wilderness with him. Once they get out to the woods he spikes their drink before he and couple of low life scumbag friends rape and murder her.”
He raised his eyebrows at her expectantly. “And what, you think these printouts prove you can see into the future?”
“On their own? No.” She shook her head. “But when we go out to the woods and catch the trio in action, you’ll know I’m legit.”
Hodge reached down to his waistband for a pair of handcuffs and tossed them onto the table. “Give me one good reason why I should go along with this instead of arresting you right now?”
“Well for starters, you saw what I did to Kevin Hauser, and in the back of your mind you know it’s way too early in the morning for that kind of struggle,” she said. “However I’ll cut you a break. Why don’t you go ahead and cuff me?” She held her wrists out to him. “The woods are on the way to the asylum, so we can stop and investigate my claim. Worst case scenario you get a little exercise. Best case, you stop an innocent woman from needlessly dying. And besides, what else do you have to do today?”
Hodge leaned back in his chair, contemplating the offer before downing the last of his java.
“Oh what the hell,” he muttered. He slammed his cup down and scooped up the cuffs. “I could probably use some time to recover from this coffee before heading into the office anyway. Great stuff by the way.” He waved to Robert.
The bartender smiled. “I aim to please.”
Artemis stood patiently with her arms stretched out in front of her while Hodge cuffed her.
Once she was secure, he motioned towards the door. “After you, ma’am.”
She curtsied. “Such a gentleman. We’ll be back in a bit, Robert.”
The bartender waved at them. “You two kids have fun.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Despite being one of the fastest growing metro areas in the country, Austin Texas had easy access to a wide variety of hiking trails and camping sites. Properly groomed and well maintained, these trails were visited by hundreds of thousands of people every single year and were one of the big draws to the city. Unfortunately for Artemis and Hodge, Mr. Bankston picked a campsite far off the beaten path.
“Okay, you have another half mile and then we are turning back,” Hodge wheezed, struggling to catch his breath.
His cuffed hiking partner grinned. “You know, I would have thought a special agent who spends his days chasing down the baddest of the bad would be in better shape.”
“Yeah, well, lucky for me tracking down the baddest of the bad is mostly research. I’m at a point in my career where I can delegate the actual chasing of bad guys,” he huffed.
She shook her head. “Don’t worry, it should just be up ahead here.”
The two of them approached a clearing and knelt down about fifty yards short behind a downed tree. The Agent pulled out a pair of mini-binoculars to investigate the scene. There was a young couple sitting together on a blanket, giggling together.
“Well I’ll be damned,” he muttered as he sat down beside his companion. “There they are. A nice happy couple outside enjoying nature for some reason.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Not a fan of the woods I take it?”
“Nope. I just never understood the appeal of shunning thousands of years of progress. Give me cold beer and indoor plumbing any day.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” she replied. “You should have seen the conditions I had to grow up in before moving to the secret facility. It’s a wonder I ever go outside these days.”
“Okay, so now what?” he asked as he peered through the binoculars again. “I don’t see anything particularly bad going on, outside of their drink choice. Man, life is just too short to waste it on cheap alcohol.”
“It shouldn’t be long,” Artemis said. “Dan’s MO was to pre-spike the beer and put a fresh cap back on the bottle so his victim wouldn’t be suspicious. By the time she gets halfway through the poor girl is going to be borderline comatose.”
Hodge sighed and made himself comfortable. “Can I ask you a question?”
She shrugged. “Sure.”
“Why me?”
“What do you mean?” She stretched out on the ground, using a downed tree as a makeshift headrest.
He threw up his hands. “I mean why of all the law enforcement people in this town did you approach me?”
“Because you were simultaneously stubborn yet open minded,” she said.
He raised a confused eyebrow. “That literally makes no sense.”
“Sure it does,” she argued. “I read up on your pursuit of Duke. Took you ten years to track him down, but you never gave up. You didn’t care about accolades or promotions—your only desire was to see him behind bars. You never dismissed any potential lead, even if it came from a prostitute, drug dealer, even a psychic.”
“Wait, wait,” he cut in, shaking his head, “when did I consult a psychic?”
“Two years from now,” she explained. “She approached you, claiming to know where one of Duke’s victims was buried. Everyone else in the department laughed in her face, but you took the time to listen to her. You even went so far as to follow the lead she gave. Ultimately there wasn’t anything there, but that didn’t matter. You were willing to believe someone most would deem insane, just on the off chance they were right. Gave me hope that you would believe me.”
He shrugged. “Well, you aren’t wrong. I mean, I’m in the middle of the woods spying on a couple of sex crazed teenagers through binoculars like a common perv because I think it might lead me to Duke. But how would you have known about that? Somehow I doubt that would have made the news.”
“When you finally caught Anthony Duke, you got an enormous amount of press,” she said. “You do a lot of interviews that delve into your career, the case, and even your past. How do you think I found out about Francis?”
He winced. “Oh lord, please don’t call me that.”
“Why not?” She grinned. “I think it’s a testament to just how much your mother loved you. Hell it’s a wonder she didn’t pack you up and run.”
“Yeah, I’d like to think naming a son Francis would be sufficient grounds for divorce,” he said with a chuckle, and then pursed his lips. “Hey, heads up, I think we got something.”
Anna wavered, and then dropped her beer on the ground, slumping into a heap. Dan took another long sip before whistling loudly, signaling two others who emerged from the tree line.
“Well what do you know,” Hodge said quietly, “Looks like you were right.”
“It’s almost like I can see into the future or something,” Artemis teased.
He side-glanced her. “We aren’t quite there yet.”
“Yeah but we are getting closer.” She held out her hands. “Why don’t you go ahead and un-cuff me and I’ll go rescue her?”
He blinked at her. “Why? I can handle them.”
“Because you are starting to think I’m telling the truth. And besides, after seeing what I did to Hauser, you really want to see what I can do in a fight.” She smirked.
He stared at her for a moment, and then shrugged. “Eh what the hell, you have a point. Okay, give me your hands.” He slid the key into the lock, freeing her.
She stretched her arms out wide and cracked her neck. “Okay, that’s better. You wait here, I’m going to do disarm them.”
He grabbed her arm as she began to walk away. “Hold up,” he said, and pulled a knife from his pocket. “You’re going to need something to defend yourself with.”
She pulled out what appeared to be a normal blue LED laser pointer and held it up. “Nah, it’s all good. I got it covered,” she replied and winked at him.
His brow furrowed as he watched her stride into the clearing.
Dan and his two friends hovered around the heavily sedated Anna like vultures about to feast on their prey. The three of them looked like they would be right at home at a college bar, with their tight fitting t-shirts exposing their well developed physique and their hair containing enough gel to fill a kiddie pool.
“I gotta go take a piss,” Dan said, “then we’re gonna show this bitch a good time.”
“Haha, yeah we are!” one of the two exclaimed. They gave each other a high five like obnoxious frat boys after a beer pong win.
Artemis quietly approached the duo from behind after Dan was out of earshot. She stopped about ten feet away, standing with her arms resting behind her back. A moment passed before she let out a soft whistle to get their attention.
“Hey boys,” she purred.
“Damn baby, how you doing?” One of them asked.
The other one licked his lips. “Yeah, you looking for a little fun?”
“Well you could say that.” She put a delicate-looking hand on her hip. “I don’t know if the two of you can handle me though.”
“Don’t worry sweetheart, we’re more than enough man for you,” the first one replied as they flexed their muscles.
“Well, you say that.” She raised an eyebrow. “But aren’t you just waiting in line for sloppy seconds on that poor passed out girl there?”
The would-be rapists stopped flexing and went into a more defensive stance.
Artemis sneered. “I mean seriously, do you have to knock a girl out just so she won’t laugh at your tiny, tiny dicks?”
Her opponents fumed.
“Bitch, I’m gonna knock you the fuck out and then we’re going to have our fun with you before slitting your throat,” the second one spat.
She struggled to contain her laughter. “I’ll tell you what Tiny Dick, if you succeed then you two can have your way with me. I mean I’m not really concerned given that I wouldn’t feel anything anyway.”
“Get her!” The first one yelled, shoving his partner in her direction.
He ran full steam towards Artemis, who remained in her casual pose. He led with his right fist in an attempt to knock her out with a single blow. She countered the punch by stepping slightly to the left, throwing her right arm around the back of his head and using his momentum to drive his face directly into the ground. Despite being a considerable distance away, Hodge heard the guy’s nose cracking against the ground.
Her opponent writhed on the ground in pain, but Artemis wasn’t finished with him yet. She pulled out the laser pointer and jammed it against his arm. The device made a ka-chunk noise as she hit the button on the end.
Her other opponent went on the attack, moving with purpose towards her as she stood up. He tried to land a couple of haymakers and drew nothing but air as she dodged them with ease.
“What’s wrong bud, having some performance issues?” She taunted.
He let out a primal scream and put his full weight into the next punch.
She fell back to avoid the blow while kicking her leg straight out, landing a direct shot on his knee and sending him staggering back into a kneeling position. She popped up off the ground and leapt into the air, landing on his collar bone with her knees. She drove him into the ground, bones crunching beneath her.
Artemis hopped up. “No wonder you have to drug your women,” she said. He made a weak grab for her, but she just jammed the laser pointer against his arm like she’d done to his buddy.
With the two frat boys indisposed, the deadly woman took a few steps towards Anna. Just as she got close, Dan emerged from the woods.
“Alright boys, let’s do this,” he bellowed, and then stopped short at the two bodies on the ground. “What the fu-”
She cut him off by driving her foot into the side of his knee, rendering the leg useless. As he shrieked and fell, she grabbed the his shirt collar and drove the laser pointer into the back of his skull. Ka-chunk. Artemis walked in front of Dan and looked him in the eyes before rearing back and bootfucking him right in the face.
Hodge watched in amazement from the edge of the campsite as she strolled back over to him. The two lackeys pulled themselves off the ground and made their way over to Dan.
“You alright?” Hodge inquired as he pulled his gun from its holster.
She nodded and winked at him. “Yeah, feels good to get a workout in.”
“Well maybe next time instead of counting how many calories you’re burning you should try focusing on your ta
sk,” he retorted.
She raised an eyebrow. “My task?”
Hodge motioned towards the trio and aimed his gun towards them. “Yeah, your task. You said you were going to disarm them and you obviously didn’t.”
Dan looked positively murderous as he pulled his gun, and the three of them turned in Artemis’ direction.
“Oh yeah, my bad,” she said, and flicked the the side of the laser pointer before clicking the top button twice.
The lackeys fell to their knees immediately, screaming in agony. The injection site on their arms began to glow a bright red, causing the surrounding flesh to begin to bubble up and melt off of them. The process rapidly expanded from the injection site, their screams deafening as blood blisters formed on their skin and exploded, revealing the muscle and bone beneath.
With each pop the life drained from their body, their cries turning to moans and becoming quieter. Dan watched in horror as his two friends collapsed onto the ground beside him, their arms reduced to blood covered bone. His hands shook violently as he gaped at them.
Hodge’s jaw was on the ground. “What the fuck was that?”
“Well, I said I was going to disarm them,” Artemis replied.
He scoffed and stared at her with wide eyes. “We… we really need to work on our communication skills.”
“Well now you know that I’m a very direct person, and I mean what I say,” she declared.
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, no shit!”
“I’m going to kill you motherfuckers!” Dan shrieked. “I’m going to kill both of you right here, then I’m going to find your families and-”
Artemis flicked another button on the side and gave the laser pointer one more click.
He immediately stopped talking as his eyes bugged out and started to bleed. He managed to squeal before his head exploded like it took a twelve-gauge shell at point blank range. His headless corpse crumpled to the ground.
“Ah, that’s better,” Artemis said as she stretched her arms above her head. “Wow, you can even hear the birds singing.”
Hodge slowly holstered his weapon, still in a bit of shock. “Don’t you think that was a little extreme?”