by Derek Slaton
He growled. “Well don’t just stand there with your head up your ass. Go get me a towel or something.”
“I’m so sorry sir, but we’re out of towels behind the bar. There should be plenty in the men’s room however.” She motioned to the general bathroom area.
“Goddamnit, you are going to make me miss my girl’s set. After she’s done playing I’m gonna get your clumsy ass fired,” he snarled.
She feigned a terrified expression. “Oh sir, I’m so sorry, please don’t.”
“Just point me towards the bathroom and fuck off,” he snapped.
“It’s... it’s down the hall over there,” she stammered, and pointed.
Rocco walked off towards the men’s room, still wiping the beer from his face. When he got out of range, the waitress turned towards her accomplices to give them a big thumbs up. After they responded in kind, the waitress pointed in Rocco’s direction before making an inappropriate crude humping motion, insinuating that he was about to have a rough time in the john.
Artemis shook her head in disgusted amazement as Robert slid a refill her way. She downed it in a single gulp before following Rocco to stand guard at the bathroom door.
The men’s room at Tate’s Bar was an extension of the rest of the bar, with the walls covered in band autographs. The only difference was a giant ice filled trough and a single shoddy stall that housed a graffiti laden toilet that was missing a seat. The scar faced lackey threw open the door in anger, nearly knocking down a patron as they exited.
“That fucking bitch, I’m gonna rip her a new one,” Rocco fumed as he ripped a stack of paper towels out of the holder.
Hodge stepped out of the stall and grabbed grabbed his opponent’s head, smashing it forward into the mirror. The henchman cried out in shock as the Agent flung him back into the stall. The scummy toilet broke his fall, and possibly a few ribs too, if the sharp cracks were anything to go by. Before Rocco could regain his footing, his attacker was on top of him, knee in his chest.
Hodge sneered. “Remember me?”
“What? What the fuck are you doing here? You’re supposed to be chained up.” His prisoner gaped.
“Apparently, I’m a little more resourceful than you or your boss gave me credit for.” The Agent grinned. “And you know, speaking of your boss, where is he exactly?”
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rocco shook his head, eyes wide.
Hodge pursed his lips. “Really? You want to play this game? Okay.” He grabbed his victim’s collar and flipped him over into the dreaded swirlie position. He submerged the flailing man’s face into the nasty toilet water for a few moments, and then jerked him back up by the swirly hair. “As you may have noticed, this toilet has some issues. Namely it doesn’t want to flush,” he said as the lackey sputtered and gasped. “Judging by the look and smell, the patrons at tonight’s show have been living on a steady diet of alcohol and greasy street vendor food. Not a great combination if you ask me.”
“You’re sick, man! You’re just fucking sick!” Rocco screeched. “Oh god, I’m going to puke!”
“You might want to hold that in, unless you want to revisit it in a few moments,” Hodge warned. “Or you can tell me about your boss, your choice.”
“Okay, Okay, I’ll talk!” The now shit-covered henchman yelled. “Okay, so his name is Rudo. He’s tall, got blonde hair. He’s also a badass mother fucker who does whatever he wants to do and there isn’t anything you can do to stop him.”
Hodge laughed so long that Rocco joined him in confusion. “You’re a funny guy, you know that?” the Agent said. “I’ve been known to tell a joke from time to time, too. You want to hear one? Oh who am I kidding, of course you do. You ready? Knock, knock.”
His victim swallowed, and reluctantly asked, “Who… who’s there?”
The Agent smashed his fist into Rocco’s face, busting his nose.
“Really cop? That’s all you got? Real original,” the lackey snapped, blood coating his mouth and chin.
Hodge pulled out Artemis’s future pen of destruction. He held it up right in front of his prisoner’s face, who stopped struggling to focus on it.
“Look, I get it, you’re a stupid motherfucker who is in way over their head,” the Agent said, voice low and menacing. “And given your history, I’m guessing this isn’t your first beating, so you probably think you can outlast me like you outlasted them. But given the look in your eyes I get the sense you know what this is and you know I’m different.”
Rocco nodded, eyeing the pen with fear in his gaze.
“So, you know what happens when I do this,” Hodge said, and stabbed Rocco in the arm with the pen. “And this, and this, and this!” He stabbed the lackey in the leg, chest, and head. As he hovered his finger over the detonation button, his prisoner shrieked.
“No no no no no no!” he pleaded. “Please, I’ll tell you everything you want to know!”
Hodge relaxed his thumb. “I’m listening.”
“You… you have to promise me you’re going to let me go,” Rocco stammered.
“You have my word that once you tell me what I want to know, I’m going to walk out that door and you’ll never see me again.”
“Okay,” the lackey said with a hard swallow. “Rudo and Duke have a small building just outside of town. It’s way off the beaten path and only a handful of people know about it so it’s not heavily guarded.”
Hodge’s brow furrowed. “Then how do you know about it?”
“They needed my help unloading the gear. Rudo paid me, gave me a lottery number for next week and I was out the door.”
“Okay, so where is it exactly?” the Agent asked.
“You know the burned out gas station on route nine headed east out of town? The one that went up in that arson a few weeks back.”
“Yeah, I know it.”
“It’s about three miles past that. There is a dirt road on the right that will take you down into the woods. After about a mile there is a clearing with some buildings. That’s where they are, I swear.”
Hodge held up the pen. “Now you ain’t lying to me, are you?”
“No, no! I swear, I’m telling you the truth! That’s where they are, but I don’t know how long they are going to be there. They were talking about moving east when I left there this morning,” Rocco said, words coming out in a rush. “Oh come on man, I told you everything I know. You gotta keep your word. What’s a man without his word, right?”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m a man of my word,” Hodge said, and got to his feet. “Now, I’m going to walk out that door and you’re never going to see me again. Provided that you hang tight in here for a few minutes since I gotta pay my bar tab. Can you stay in here like a good little boy?”
Rocco nodded furiously.
“I didn’t quite catch that,” Hodge said, holding the pen up again.
“Yes! Yes! I won’t move!”
“Good boy,” the Agent said as he pocketed the pen and walked out of the stall, leaving his shaking victim on the floor.
Artemis raised an eyebrow from her lean on the wall next to the bathroom door. “There you are. You find out where we need to go?”
“Yep, there is a compound just outside of town, should be lightly guarded too according to him,” Hodge replied.
“Fuckin’-A,” she said and clapped him on the back. “I’m impressed. How did you get it out of him? Swirly?”
“Well I started with that, but he didn’t open up until I pulled this out,” he explained, and produced the pen. “I didn’t detonate it yet though.”
“Here, allow me.” She grinned as she clicked the top button. “Oh, wait, how many times did you stab him before he talked?”
Hodge shrugged. “I don’t know, six, maybe seven times.”
Her eyes widened. “We have to go,” she urged, and grabbed his shoulder, dragging him away from the door.
“Wait, what’s wrong?”
“We have to go now, and you owe
Robert an apology. He likes Johnny Walker Black. Find the biggest bottle you can, and get two,” she instructed.
His blood ran cold at the realization of what he had done. “Oops.”
Rocco’s limbs began to heat up, a tingling sensation crawling up his arms and legs.
“Oh god no,” he moaned as the devices within him began to activate. He watched in horror as his flesh turned bright red, started to boil and melt off, spreading from each of the injection points. His screams would have alerted everyone to his plight if it wasn’t for Valkyrie’s Revenge going into their final song, Face Full of Lead.
The pain spread through his body until the melting points reached each other, mixing and turning from red to blue. For a brief moment his flesh stopped melting as the blue color raced through his veins. When the blue reached the initial injection points they emitted a loud tone, as if to warn anyone nearby that they should seek cover. The tone became louder and louder, to the point where Rocco’s ears began to bleed. He let out one last scream before the injections detonated, covering the graffiti walls in a fresh coat of red.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Artemis and Hodge parked their car a quarter mile from the clearing, not wanting to alert Rudo to their presence. She grabbed the duffel bag from the Chinese restaurant out of the back seat, threw it over her shoulder and began walking.
“You know Rudo. Any idea what we might be in for?” The Agent asked.
“If we’re lucky, there won’t be many guards. For all his strengths, Rudo is a lot cockier than someone in this line of work should be. He probably views me as his only real threat, and since he believes I’m out of the picture, in his mind he’s already won.” She rolled her eyes.
“Here’s hoping you’re right,” he said as they reached the edge of the tree line and knelt down under cover.
The compound was a dilapidated warehouse that looked like it hadn’t been used since the sixties, with peeling paint and busted out windows highlighting the neglect. A pickup truck with a gas powered generator in the back was parked beside the fuse box, producing just enough juice to illuminate the facility.
Hodge peered through his mini-binoculars and saw three figures moving boxes back and forth from the building. “I see a few men down there, but it’s too dark to tell if it’s Rudo or Duke,” he said. “You got anything in your bag of tricks there to help out?”
“I don’t believe so,” she said as she rummaged. “It doesn’t really matter though, as we are going to raid the place regardless if they are outside or not.”
He nodded. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”
“More than likely, Rudo isn’t going to be doing the heavy lifting, so there’s a good chance he’s in the building. I’m going to sneak around and go in through the south entrance to track him down and hope that there aren’t more guys inside.”
Hodge raised an eyebrow. “So... what do I do?”
“Well…” Artemis cocked her head. “You see those three men down there?”
He groaned. “Well, do you at least have something in your bag that might help me survive taking on three henchmen at once? I mean I’m glad you have the utmost faith in my ability and all, but let’s be realistic here.”
She chuckled as she reached into the bag. She fumbled about for a few moments before pulling out a hand held water pistol.
He gaped. “Are… are you serious? Even if I was in an actual water gun fight it would be like bringing a Derringer to a bazooka battle.”
“Come on, I picked you because you were bright. Did you learn nothing from my computer?” she asked as she pulled the trigger of the water gun down about halfway. A bright blue light balled at the end, with particles of white being drawn to it. Each particle that made contact with the source caused the blue light to grow larger and brighter. After a few seconds of this she released the trigger, and everything went dark again. “Hidden in plain sight, remember?”
“Holy hell that was amazing,” he said as he took the weapon and inspected it closely. “Is it powerful?”
“It makes my laser pen look like a regular off the shelf pen,” she explained. “You need to be careful though, because not only does that thing pack a punch, it has a sixty second cool down. So my advice is to take out a target then run like hell until it recharges.”
He hung his head. “Great, more running. I swear I’m going to have to join a gym if I’m going to keep partnering with you.”
“Well if you need some extreme performance enhancing drugs, just let me know. My dealer is a lot better than anyone currently alive,” she replied with a wink.
He shrugged. “So where is your gun?”
“I’m more, shall we say, hands on,” she replied as she pulled out a couple of padded sparring gloves and slid them onto her hands.
“Let me guess, they shoot missiles!” he exclaimed. “Or they teleport those you punch into a nether world dimension?”
“Nah, it’s just light as a feather, hits with the power of reinforced steel, and…” She smacked the sides of her hands together, triggering a green laser bar to form over the knuckles. She demonstrated their power by punching a tree limb, slicing it clean off. “…something with a little more power should my adversary have a weapon.”
He smiled then looked at his water gun. The smile dropped from his face as he realized he got the short end of the future weapon stick. “Okay, you ready to do this?”
“Once more into the breach,” she agreed.
As she began to stand, he grabbed her arm. “Hey Artemis, if this goes south I just want you to know that-”
“Hodge, I swear to christ if you try and make this a sentimental moment I will stab you in the dick with my exploding pen and detonate it,” she cut in.
He paled. “Oh, well, in that case—good luck, and first round is on me after we save the world.”
“That’s better,” she said. “Now come on, world isn’t going to save itself.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Hodge waited until the trio walked back towards the building to make his dash from the edge of the trees to the truck they were loading up. Fortunately for him, it was a long walk for them to make, giving him the necessary window to make the forty yard dash in a time that would have gotten him kicked out of the NFL combine. He crouched behind the truck to catch his breath and await their return, taking the time to psych himself up for the confrontation. A few moments passed, and he could hear the them making their way back to the truck.
“Okay guys, just a couple more trips and you’ll get your payment,” Duke said as they approached the truck. “You just have to figure out if you want sports scores or lotto numbers.”
“Afraid that ill-gotten payday is going to have to wait,” Hodge declared as he popped out from behind the truck. “Miss me, Duke?”
“Special Agent Hodge, it’s good to see you again. I must admit, I am rather surprised to see you this soon.” Duke raised his chin.
The Agent shrugged. “I guess that’s the benefit of being me. Everyone always underestimates me, so I get to surprise people in a regular basis.”
“So, here I am, the object of your obsession.” The criminal spread his hands. “You know, when he recruited me, Rudo showed me articles on you. How you devoted so much of your life to hunting me down, always being one step behind. Must have driven you crazy to know I was out there murdering people and there wasn’t anything you could do to stop me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Duke. You were nothing special. Just another name that came across my desk. Another low life scumbag that needed to be removed from the gene pool,” Hodge replied.
“I would say whatever helps you sleep at night, but I’m just going to have my henchmen kill you so it’s a non-issue.” Duke motioned for the lackeys to attack. They were mirrors of each other, standing over six feet tall and ripped. If either one of them reached Hodge he knew he would be in for a bad day.
“Woah, woah, you guys just relax and listen for a moment,” the Agent said, putting his han
ds up, palms out. The henchmen complied, much to his amazement. “I don’t know who you are, nor do I care. I’m here for Duke and only Duke. You guys can take off, hitch a ride back to town, and live your life. So what do you say boys?”
“If y’all kill him I’ll give you lottery numbers and a month’s worth of sports scores so you can live it up in Vegas,” their boss said. The two henchmen began to advance, but froze in place when their victim pulled out his gun.
He smirked. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
The standoff lasted a few seconds until Duke and the henchmen realized it was a squirt gun, which triggered uncontrollable laughing from all three of them.
Hodge chuckled as well, but kept his sights on the advancing threats. After a few moments he pulled the trigger halfway down like Artemis had shown him, creating a bright blue and ever growing light. He could feel the power coursing through the weapon, his hands trembling as they struggled to contain it. Once it became unbearable, he finished the trigger pull.
An orb of blue light rocketed out from the tip of the weapon, landing a direct hit on the lead henchmen. Everyone in the vicinity averted their eyes due to the extreme brightness. When their eyes readjusted to the darkness they saw that the upper half of the lackey had been completely eviscerated. A geyser of blood spewed forth, coating the stunned evildoers in crimson.
“Holy shit,” Hodge said, and stared at the gun in disbelief. He glanced up at the other henchman wiping his face clean with his sleeve before beginning to advance. “Oh, I kind of hoped that would have scared you off.”
“That was my brother motherfucker,” the henchman said as he stalked forward. “I’m going to fucking end you.”
The Agent let out a deep sigh before he took off running. The henchman yelled out as he pursued him, making up the distance between them quickly. Hodge made it about fifteen yards before his opponent caught him by the back of his shirt and jerked him backwards onto the ground. He hit the dirt with a thud and immediately scrambled to the side to get away.