“Are you coming back home afterward?” I ask, hoping he says yes.
Conway shakes his head, placing a hand on my shoulder as he straightens from his chair.
“No, sweetheart, not yet. I’ve got a job that I’ve been putting off finishing, that’s going to keep me away indefinitely. I’ll try to make it back for a visit sometime before Christmas, though.”
Christmas is months away.
“Ah, you can’t make it sooner?”
“Unlikely, but I’ll try. Any reason you want me home so much?” He enquires, his curiosity peaked.
I hate doing this to Conway because the last thing I want to do is hurt the big man’s feelings, but he has the right to know.
“Lilly moved back a few weeks before Mia and I left on our road trip,” I tell him, flinching at his furious expression. “She’s staying with Malakai until she gets back on her feet.”
Conway clenches his jaw, probably biting back a string of curses at hearing the only woman he’s ever loved is living with his best friend and the man who is the sole cause of their relationship failing.
“You are fucking shitting me?”
“No, I wouldn’t do that to you. Ever,” I exclaim. “Scarlet told me she ran into some trouble while she was working in L.A. and decided to come home to regroup. I don’t have all the details, but it was bad, Conway. Really bad.”
The play of emotions across his face isn’t subtle. Remorse, loss, betrayal, and love flicker in the depths of his dark blue eyes, and it doesn’t take me long to realize Lilly is the reason he was going to California. After all these years, Conway was finally going to get her back, and my heart breaks for him because Lilly isn’t the same woman she was before. She’s more reserved, sadder even. Where once Lilly was the life of every party, funny, outgoing, and everyone’s best friend, she’s only a shadow of her former self now.
Scarlet was worried about her mom for months prior to her moving back to Lower Falls, and with good reason. Lilly arrived by bus, beaten black and blue, and barely able to stand on her own. Scarlet took her straight to the hospital where they told her that Lilly was suffering from dehydration, three broken ribs, and possibly a concussion.
To say Scarlet was furious is the world’s biggest understatement. My friend was fit to be tied. Livid at her mom’s boss for allowing this to happen to her, she enlisted, Nate to help find out what went on in the days leading up to Lilly’s return. They haven’t had much success yet, but I have a feeling that now Conway is aware of her reappearance that will change in the immediate future.
Conway stands abruptly and pulls out his cell.
“I’ve gotta go. You going to be alright if I leave you in his care?”
I don’t think before saying,
“Of course. But, Conway,” when he trains his sunglass-covered eyes on me, I add, “be gentle with her. Lilly’s has a rough time of it, and I don’t want to see her get hurt again.”
Nodding briskly, he walks away without another word leaving me with the man I’ve been desperately trying to avoid.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
~ Knight ~
“I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude and that’s not my problem.”
– Knight to Locke
As promised, Conway was there to pick me up at the airport when I landed in Vegas. He drove us back to the hotel Zara and Mia are staying at in silence. Stepping out of the vehicle, Conway stopped me from hauling ass to find my woman by growling,
“Chase might trust you with her, but I fucking don’t. I know men like you; I am one. We don’t do permanent. We don’t do commitment after we’ve been burned. So whatever it is you’re doing with her, don’t. Zara doesn’t deserve to be some man’s second best.”
When I go to refute it, Conway jerks his head toward a couple making out by the entrance to the hotel.
“See that? They won’t last.”
The young couple are practically fucking each other against the wall, consuming one another with their hands and mouths. To almost everyone else, they look as if they’re madly in love but on closer inspection, I can see what Conway is getting at.
Matching plain gold bands adorn their ring fingers, signaling that they’ve done what a lot of misguided couples are doing these days, getting married without thinking about the long-term consequences of a quickie wedding. He appears to be in his early twenties, but I’d hazard a guess the chick could be as young as eighteen or nineteen. They don’t have the first clue what it takes to make a marriage work, which means sadly, Conway’s right. The chances of them lasting is slim to none.
In the beginning, it’s hot, all-consuming, fiery passion that blinds you to everything but the woman in your arms. Over time that fire banks, though. So unless what you’ve got with your partner is solid, based on friendship, mutual respect, and love, the relationship will disintegrate faster than your stack of chips at a Vegas blackjack table.
“Zara and I are nothing like them,” I bark in response.
“No?” Conway questions. “Sure fooled me. I heard you were here to claim your woman and whisk her off to the closest chapel to seal the deal.” Tilting his head toward the couple that are now shamelessly grinding against each other, he adds, “That looks a hell of a lot like them to me.”
I glare at the man I’ve only just met.
“Then you don’t know the first fucking thing about me or how I feel about Zara.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he grins wolfishly. “I know all about your issues with your ex-wife. Heard from Chase she got herself into trouble down at the Vengeance clubhouse not long ago, and that you left my girl to deal with it. Word of advice, Knight; don’t let that kind of poisonous bitch taint what you could have with Zara. Zara’s the most understanding, compassionate woman I know, but she’s also fierce, loyal, and damn near vicious when it comes to protecting her own. If you start something with her, and she considers you hers, be prepared for Zara to kick your ex’s ass if she fucks with you.”
Smiling tightly, I nod.
“I’m done with Lena. She knows where I stand, and after bailing her out this last time, she knows it won’t be happening again.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Conway shakes his head. “I get the feeling that when a woman like her gets her hooks in you, it isn’t that cut and dried.” Then shocking the hell out of me, he offers, “You need a hand with making your point clear, call me.”
I won’t take him up on it, but I’ll accept the olive branch for what it’s worth.
“Now, are you going to show me where my woman’s hiding out or not?”
Conway’s massive frame shakes with laughter as he gestures to me to follow him.
“I like you, Knight. Don’t make it so that I have to kill you,” he states simply.
*****
Hours, I stood watching her laugh with Mia and flirt with the bartender who served them drinks before I could finally make my move, and the wait nearly killed me. Seeing Zara so happy reminded me of all the times I’ve done the opposite over the last few months, making me want to kick my own ass.
All I want to do is make her smile. Have her laugh with me the way she does with her friends. I want to be the man Zara comes to when she’s sad, needs comforting, or someone to listen when she’s had a bad day. But most of all, I want to take all of that away. I need her to give me the chance to hold her, tell her everything will be okay, that I’ll do whatever I have to to put that radiant smile back on her face.
Jump showed up half an hour ago, dragging Mia off to his room which didn’t come as a shock to anyone but her. Even Zara grinned like she knew it was inevitable. Truthfully, if Jump’s reaction to the news Mia was road tripping across the country when I saw him during the drama with Lena is any indication of his feelings for Mia, I have to agree. It’s only a matter of time before Jump stakes his claim on Mia and there won’t be a goddamn thing she can do about it.
Conway stormed out of the pool area a few
minutes ago after Zara said something that had all the color draining from his face. I give it another five minutes just to make sure he isn’t coming back before stalking over to her and taking his place beside her.
“I was wondering how long you were going to loiter over there looking like a creeper,” Zara huffs, not bothering to look up from her Kindle.
“Figured I’d wait and see how many more men you were going to let hit on you so I can make a comprehensive list of all the assholes I’ve got to kill.”
Zara chuckles at my gruff tone, which only makes me want to prove just how serious I am.
“Being polite and friendly doesn’t equal flirting, Knight. Although, since those character traits aren’t your strong suit, I can see why you would confuse the two.”
“I’m plenty friendly to you. And since I don’t give a shit about anyone else, that should count for something,” I return as I let my eyes wander up and down Zara’s phenomenal body.
If I thought my cock was hard before, I was wrong. Seeing her up close, dressed in that tiny, white, string bikini that barely covers her lush, full tits has my dick straining against my jeans, leaking a steady flow pre-cum from the tip.
“What are you doing here?” Zara asks, finally dropping her Kindle onto her lap.
She still hasn’t looked at me, but I’ll take her inquisitiveness as a step in the right direction. For now, at least.
“I came to find you. We need to talk, Zara. You didn’t give me a chance to explain when we were back at Brent’s before you took off, so here I am.”
“I hardly think you need to explain, Knight. I get it. Honestly, I do. Lena needed you, so you had to go. End of story.” Zara’s voice is strained as she tries to hide how much I hurt her behind thinly veiled anger.
Reaching for her hand, I grip it tightly in mine and squeeze gently. Everything about this woman is delicate and fragile. Zara would argue that until she is blue in the face, but there’s no denying it.
Her dad may have raised her to be a strong, independent woman, capable of taking care of herself, at least, physically, but along the way, Chase forgot that Zara is still a woman. She deserves to be treated like a queen, taken care of by a man that worships and adores her. Just because she can fight her own battles doesn’t mean she should have to, which is what I intend to spend the rest of my life showing her.
“No, that’s where you’re dead fucking wrong,” I growl, tightening my grip on her hand, tugging her toward me.
Her ass is perched on the side of the sun lounger and with one quick jerk of my arm, I have Zara on my lap. I position her legs on either side of my thighs so that she’s straddling me, and run my hands down her back until they cover the lush swell of her ass.
I don’t want any of the men that have been staring at her for hours on end seeing what’s mine, and the way Zara’s sitting, I know her ass cheeks will be peeking out the bottom of her scantily cut bikini bottoms. Fuck that! Her body is for my eyes only, and until I’ve had my fill of her – which will be never – everyone else can look elsewhere for their jerkoff material.
Brushing my lips over the soft skin on her neck, I whisper,
“If you’d have stayed and listened, you would have heard me tell Jonas I don’t give a fuck what trouble Lena got herself into. The only reason I ended up going wasn’t to bail her ass out, baby; it was to put a stop to the bullshit once and for all.”
Zara pushes against my chest and shakes her head.
“But see, Knight, that’s just it. Regardless of why you went, you did. She got exactly what she wanted and she always will.”
I want to deny her claim, but I can’t. My history with Lena is proof enough that every time she’s needed me, I’ve dropped everything and gone running to help her. And while I know that won’t be happening again, Zara doesn’t.
Deciding to show her rather than give her useless words she won’t believe, I cup Zara’s face and bring her closer until our foreheads are touching and I can stare into her gorgeous coal colored eyes.
“You don’t have to trust me now, but you will. I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you, baby. Lena is part of my past; there’s no room for her in the future I want to have with you. It’s taken me a long time to accept that what I feel for you is so much bigger, deeper, stronger than what I ever had with her. But now that I have, I can’t, no, I won’t let you go. You can fight me all you like, baby, but you won’t win. I love you. I always have, and I always will. If you tell me you don’t want me, then that’s just too damn bad because you’re mine, Zara.”
Tears well in her eyes, and as much as I’d like to wipe them away, I don’t. I want Zara to feel for a change. I want her to stop bottling up everything she feels for me and let it all go. I’ll wait as long as it takes until she’s ready to accept what’s been steadily building between us for years because she’s worth it.
Every sleepless night. Every dream unrealized. Every aching hard on I’ve suffered through without finding relief by burying it inside her perfect little body. And all my fears that I’d lose her before I ever had her is worth it if I can finally have her by my side forever.
Blinking rapidly, Zara’s eyelids lower, and she exhales sharply.
“Wh-what did you just say?”
“I said, I love you, baby. Part of me has loved you since the day I first laid eyes on you, but you were too young, too innocent, too pure for a man like me,” I tell her, finally admitting my biggest shame.
I’m not ashamed because I’ve loved Zara for so long, but because of how old she was when I first realized that what I felt for her wasn’t platonic love like that of a big brother or friend. I’ve never admitted this to anyone before, but I was twenty-three when I recognized the feelings I had for the little vixen in my lap were sexual in nature, which made Zara, fifteen. I know, sick right?
The only thing I can console myself with is that I didn’t act on them. Not once did I touch Zara inappropriately before she was legal. Shit, I didn’t touch her the way I’ve wanted to until recently, after my divorce that is. That doesn’t mean from the time she turned sixteen I didn’t stroke my cock at night to images of her tight body only wearing a pair of virginal white panties because I abso-fucking-lutely did.
Did it feel like I was cheating on my wife, getting off to thoughts of Zara while I jerked my desperately hard cock in the shower? Fuck yes. I felt like a dirty old man, not being able to come unless it was Zara’s face I pictured as I came all over myself. And I’ll be honest, at the end of our relationship, when I was pounding into my wife, I fantasized it was Zara’s slick heat I was plunging in and out of. They were her eyes I was staring into as I found my release. I was so obsessed with Zara, that once I even roared her name as I came – something Lena has never let me forget.
“Knight,” Zara whimpers, her breath caressing my overheated skin. “Kiss me. Please kiss me. Right here. Right now. Just us. I want you to kiss me like you mean it.”
She doesn’t say anything else, but then, she doesn’t have to. I’ll give Zara whatever she wants whenever she wants it, even if it’s in front of an audience.
Dragging my hands from the curve of her ass, up her sides, tenderly brushing the swell of her tits, I cup her face carefully in my hands. I pull her closer and press my lips to hers expecting this to be a gentle kiss, filled with all the adoration and love I feel for her. But like everything else that’s happened between us, as soon as I taste how sweet she is, I’m lost. I’m consumed by her.
There’s no hesitation on Zara’s part or mine; we both sink into the kiss like it’s the first and last we will ever have. I could stop and take the time to assure her this is far from the last time I’ll kiss her today and every day afterward, but words aren’t necessary right now. Action is.
I explore her body with my hands, trailing them over every inch of exposed skin that I can. Instinctively my fingers find the edge of her bikini top, tracing the material until her nipples are diamond-hard points, straining to be set free
. Zara moans deeply, which has me wanting to tear the fabric off her beautiful body and suck them into my mouth, but I won’t let anyone else see her bare. Not now. Not ever.
Stroking the seam of her lips, I slide my tongue between them when she opens for me so that I can explore the hot, wet cavern of her mouth. Our tongues duel, fire licks up the length of my spine, sending sparks of heat straight to my cock. My need to be inside Zara almost overwhelms me. And if it weren’t for the fact that I’m not inclined to share the first time I make my woman come while she’s riding my cock with a hundred or so people, I would pull her bikini bottoms aside and sink inside her pussy in a matter of seconds.
“Jesus,” Zara pulls back panting.
Her skin is flushed pink, her lips are swollen from my kisses, and her eyes have glazed over with desire; all of which makes me want to pound my chest like a fucking caveman.
Groaning into the crook of her neck, I grind my erection against her. Shuddering with the effort to control myself when I feel the bite of her fingernails into my back, I stand up abruptly, grabbing a towel to wrap around her.
Vengeance MC Box Set - Volume 2: Gage ~ Cash ~ Knight (Vengeance MC series Book 8) Page 68