by Magro, Mandy
Brooke stood with her arms folded, staring at the dancers, an unreadable look on her face. She watched as a few of the gyrating mob decided to have a break and wandered from the dance floor in search of drinks. Smiling, she reached out her hand to Sarah, who was walking past.
‘Hi, I’m Brooke. You must be Sarah. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.’
Sarah took in the girl standing before her. She was attractive in her own way. She had shoulder-length, bleached white-blonde hair and a huge smile with pearly white teeth. Her fingernails and toenails were painted red to match her lips and she had a short dress on. Sarah wouldn’t have been caught dead looking like her, but Brooke was clearly being as welcoming and friendly as she could be. That had to count for something.
‘Nice to meet you too, Brooke. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other now we’ve both moved out here, hey?’
‘Yeah, I guess we will,’ Brooke replied.
Sarah turned to Matt, who was standing beside Brooke. He gave her a piercing look from intense brown eyes and held out his hand, shaking hers with a strong, firm grip. She saw he had a tattoo on his forearm, just visible beyond the cuff of his sleeve. It looked like a set of bull’s horns curving up his muscular arm. As their hands touched, Sarah felt an electric current run between them, and she quickly pulled her hand away. She found herself staring at him. He had short, almost shaved brown hair, deep chocolate-brown eyes and a smile that brought out a dimple on his chin. He was tall, tanned and broad-shouldered, and Sarah couldn’t help gazing at him for a second longer than she should have. Nobody else seemed to notice, though – they were too busy chatting and catching their breath after the boogie on the makeshift dance floor.
‘Hey, Sarah. I’m Matt. How’s life for you on Rosalee so far? I hope you’re settling in okay and the boys are treating you well?’ Matt shuffled on the spot, gazing back at Sarah, and she couldn’t help wondering whether he’d felt the same sensation as her.
‘Yeah, they’re making me feel right at home. I’ll officially start tomorrow night when I cook them all a roast.’ Sarah felt strangely nervous and couldn’t stop talking. ‘Mind you, I’m not just going to be tied to the kitchen. I’ve told your mum and dad I’m happy to give them a hand round the place as well. So, any work you can throw my way I’ll gladly do. I want to learn all I can about station life.’
Matt raised his eyebrows. ‘You might’ve set yourself up for some hard labour there. Dad’s not one to say no to an eager extra hand. And, you know, no matter how many people we have working out here, there are never enough hours in the day, so any help will be appreciated.’ Matt looked up to see Judy carrying two plates of food over to the table. ‘Ah, Mum’s brought out our dinner. I’m bloody starved! We’ll catch up a bit later, hey, Sarah?’
Still shaken from their handshake, Sarah smiled and let him go. As she turned back to join the party animals she bumped into Lily and Daniel, who were having a good old snog.
‘Get a room, you two!’ Sarah said. The couple parted and Lily staggered when Daniel took his arms from her waist.
‘Think I better take this one to bed. She seems to have lost all sense of balance,’ Daniel said.
‘I can hold my own, Danny boy. I’ll give you an arm wrestle if you like!’ Lily slurred in between hiccups.
‘Nah, it’s bedtime for you, princess.’ Daniel grabbed Lily and picked her up, kicking and laughing, throwing her over his shoulder. He kissed Sarah on the cheek. ‘See you in the morning, sis.’
‘Sweet dreams, you two.’ Sarah watched them both head towards the direction of the patio door, stopping briefly so Lily could introduce herself to Matt and Brooke from over Daniel’s shoulder.
Sarah looked around the patio for Brad but he was nowhere to be seen. She wandered off into the darkness, hoping to find him so she could tell him she was going to bed too. She was feeling pretty drunk. Finally she found Brad sitting in a clump of emu bushes behind the shower block with a cigarette hanging from his lips. He was gazing into space, blowing smoke rings into the air. Then the sharp tang of marijuana hit her nostrils and Sarah felt surprise and anger rush up into her throat. He’s smoking pot! she screamed in her head. I can’t believe this. He knows what happened to my dad. He knows how that hurt my family. Brad’s actions felt like a punch in the face. Sarah realised that she was rooted to the spot. Finally she found the strength to move, hurt and anger boiling within her. She walked over to Brad whose eyes widened in shock at her presence. He tried to stub the joint out under his boot, swatting the air around him in an attempt to get rid of the smell, but it was too late.
Sarah shook her head at him in disbelief. ‘What are you doing, Brad? You said you hated that shit!’
Brad threw his hands up in the air, realising it was no use pretending.
‘How long has this been going on?’ Sarah demanded.
‘I dunno. A while. It’s not exactly your business, is it?’
‘Not my business? I’m your girlfriend, Brad! Don’t I have a right to know?’
‘What can I say, Sarah? I like smoking pot. I really don’t know why you have to get so worked up about it. Don’t you think it’s time you got over the past and stopped being such a pain in the arse about it all?’
Sarah stared at him, stunned beyond words by the cynical stranger in front of her.
‘Maybe if you tried some you might even get over your hang-up and understand why I like it so much,’ Brad went on.
‘Well, Brad, I’m not going to be trying it, so you can just shove it where it fits!’ Sarah said, finding her voice as she turned on her heel. Her head was in turmoil – she was too drunk to talk to Brad now, and way too emotional.
‘Fine! Have it your way, Miss Goody Two Shoes!’ Brad yelled after her, and Sarah just about burst into tears. She could feel her blood boiling – how long had he really been hiding this from her? The whole time they’d been together? What in the hell am I gonna do about this? she mumbled to herself as tears threatened to run down her cheeks. The light spilled from the patio outside, and she took a deep breath before stepping back into the party. Everyone was back on the dance floor having a whale of a time – even Brooke was dancing, swinging around with Chris while Georgia danced with Matt. Sarah made a quick dash for the back door, scurrying towards the privacy of her bedroom before her emotions erupted for all to see.
She lay in bed for hours with tears streaming down her face, listening to the sounds of the party winding down. Eventually, the snores of the drunken men filled the house like thunderbolts. Brad didn’t come back to the room, but she refused to worry about him. He’d probably passed out in the emu bushes, seeing as he was so stoned, oblivious to her pain. Anger and sadness churned inside her as she pondered the question over and over again: could she ever love a man who was into pot? She did love Brad – but how could she ever look at him in the same way? Sarah tried to tell herself that they could still make it work – maybe tomorrow things would seem better – but somehow she knew it was over. She finally fell into a restless sleep, nightmares gripping her mind and taking her to places she didn’t want to go.
Chapter Nine
IT was five in the morning when Sarah felt herself jolt awake. She sat bolt upright, covered in sweat, as the memory of last night’s exchange between her and Brad hit her like a freight train. It didn’t matter whether she was drunk or sober, the thought of Brad being a pot smoker still made her sick to her stomach.
Her head was pounding and she could feel a killer hangover lurking, but there was no time for moping about – she had to talk to Brad before he went to work. Waiting the whole day would be hell. She crawled out of bed to make herself a cuppa, hoping it would clear the haziness from her head. She had to be thinking straight before she saw Brad, or she’d say things she didn’t mean and it would end in an all-out war. As furious and upset as she was, she didn’t want that.
Sarah flicked on the kettle and leant on the kitchen bench, waiting for it to boil, as she gazed out the wi
ndow. The house was silent, except for the soft shuffle of feet behind closed bedroom doors. She was startled suddenly as Brad stormed pass her with his towel over his shoulder, heading for the outside shower. He’d slept on the couch, apparently. Sarah was amazed that he didn’t even try to talk to her, as if she who was the one in the wrong. She braced herself to face him, and followed him to the shower. She tried knocking on the hardwood door and calling his name, but Brad ignored her, singing loudly under the trickling water. Sarah was too tired for his nonsense. She shoved the door open.
‘Bloody hell, Sarah, can you give me a minute here? Can’t you see I’m busy?’
‘I don’t know if you deserve a minute, Brad. Why are you treating me like dirt when you are the one who’s been hiding your pot smoking from me?’ Sarah could feel tears squeezing from her eyes, burning her cheeks, and a lump in her throat the size of a tennis ball. She was scared it was going to cut off her airway if she didn’t release it soon.
‘Please, Sarah. Just let it go, will you? You’re making a big deal over nothing. You need to get off your high horse and realise it’s not my fault your dad went to prison.’
‘Don’t you mention my dad, Bradley Williams! This is about you, and you need to decide what’s important in your life – me or the pot!’ Sarah yelled, her emotions getting the better of her.
Brad lost his temper and yelled back in her face. ‘Fine, Sarah! If you want to give me an ultimatum then I’ll take the pot, okay?’ He turned the shower off, grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist, his face twisted in anger. ‘There, are you satisfied now? I’m not joking. And if you can’t handle it, why don’t you just pack your bags and go home?’ He pushed past Sarah and headed back to the cottage.
Sarah dropped to the ground, hugging her knees into her chest and gasping in shock. She could feel her heart splitting down the middle, and the pain was choking her. Her mind spun with images of all the happy times with Brad. It made her feel physically ill. She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there when she felt somebody trying to help her up. Sarah wiped her face and looked up to see Lily struggling to lift her off the floor. Lily was saying something, but it just wasn’t registering. It felt like the end of the world.
Sarah was sitting on the couch, sandwiched between Lily and Daniel with Duke at her feet. He kept placing his paw on Sarah’s knee in support. Sarah hadn’t seen Brad since he left her at the shower block. Although she had so many questions for him she knew that, no matter what his answers were, she could never be with him again.
She had thrown up twice already from the emotions thundering inside her and was now sipping on an extra-sweet cup of tea that Lily had gently placed in her shaking hands. Her mind was slowly clearing and she had rediscovered her anger, but it was tinged with a deep sorrow. Brad had told her to pack her bags and leave, as simply as that, as if he didn’t care for her at all. She was snapped out of her thoughts as Daniel put his arm around her, his face dark with anger.
‘I’m going to knock him to the ground and kick him in the guts. Then I’m going to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat like he deserves, the dirty rotten mongrel. It goes to show you never really know anybody as well as you think you do.’ Daniel’s leg jiggled up and down with impatience to get at Brad, and Sarah placed her hand on it lightly to stop it from moving.
‘Daniel, I’m a big girl now, and I want to fight my own battles. I know you’re just trying to protect me, and I love you for that, but all that will happen is you’ll end up in jail for assault.’
‘What’re you going to do now, matey?’ Lily asked, her big brown eyes full of sympathy. ‘Do you want to come home with me and Daniel?’
Sarah shook her head. ‘No way am I letting that bastard chase me away from a dream I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I’m here to stay. He can be the one to leave if he wants it that way.’ Sarah marvelled at the strength in her voice. An hour ago she couldn’t even stand on her own two feet, but now she was digging her heels into the ground, ready to defend herself and fight for what was right. She could feel the Clarke determination pumping through her veins. She wasn’t going to walk out on Rosalee; not now, not yet. It already meant too much to her.
‘Will you talk to Judy about it? Maybe you could live in the women’s quarters? The only thing is you’ll still have to cook for Brad, and that will be a bit hard.’
‘Yeah, once I calm down I’ll go have a yak with Judy. I think that’s the only option I have. Oh, Lily, he’s broken my heart into little pieces.’ With that Sarah let the tears flood her eyes once again and roll down her cheeks. She couldn’t get a handle on the way she was feeling – one moment she was full of determination, then she was bursting into tears again. A range of emotions, from utter despair and heartache to fierce rage, swept through her in waves.
‘Are you sure about staying, sis? Lily and I have to head back home soon and I’ll be worried about you after all of this.’
‘I’m absolutely positive. I’m not going back home with my tail between my legs, Daniel, I’m just not. I know I’ll get through this and enjoy my time out here. I just know I can’t live under the same roof as Brad!’
‘You’re a determined sheila when you want to be, hey? Just remember where your home is, and that we’re all there for you when you need us. Seriously, I can’t promise not to give Brad a good smack around the chops after the way he’s treated you, but I promise I’ll at least try not to.’ Daniel gave Sarah a little wink.
Lily wrapped her arms around Sarah and gave her a big hug. ‘I love you, mate, and I’m here for you any time of the day or night. I know this is going to be hard for you, but I also know you’re a very strong chicky, and you’ll get through it in the end. I’m so proud of your determination, babe. You deserve much better then Brad.’
‘Thanks for your support, guys. I’m so glad you’re here.’ Sarah sniffed as she stood up. She looked around at the dozens of tissues at her feet and decided she’d shed enough tears over Brad for now. She had to start thinking about preparing the roast dinner for tonight, as well as the homemade apple pie. There was a lot of baking to do too, so the men had a decent assortment of goodies for smokos. She also had tomorrow’s lunch to prepare – it always had to be done the night before as the mornings were too busy. Plus there was the grocery list to write so that Judy could ring and order it from Woolies. She clapped her hands together and stood up, taking a good deep breath.
‘Rightio, guys. I have a lot of cooking ahead of me today, as well as a good old scrub-down of the kitchen. Come on, Duke, my mate, I’ll give you a treat this morning. You can have a bowl of fresh meat instead of your usual dry bikkies, hey?’ Sarah leant down and gave Duke a hug around the neck. He was her loyal friend and one who was always there for her.
‘Tell us what you want us to do and we’ll gladly help.’ Lily stood up, a smile appearing on her face.
‘Great, I’d appreciate a hand.’ Not for the first time, Sarah was filled with happiness at the thought of having Lily and Daniel there for the next couple of days. Some familiar faces would help her through the worst of it, and then she could deal with things on her own – if Judy let her stay on.
They headed into the kitchen and Daniel turned on the radio to distract them all. Sarah smiled, recognising ‘The Rising Sun’ by Jimmy Barnes. She and Lily had danced their butts off to this tune on many an occasion. As Sarah stood watching, Daniel and Lily swung each other around the kitchen, grabbing the salt and pepper shakers to use as microphones as they sang along. Sarah grinned to herself and, for the first time that day, felt like things were going to be all right.
Chapter Ten
DANIEL was the first to stop dancing, his eyes catching sight of the thick, black smoke filling the sky out the kitchen window. It was billowing into the blue so quickly that it looked like someone was tipping black ink out of the heavens.
Sarah knew immediately that something bad had happened under the blanket of black smoke. It didn’t look li
ke a bush fire. The smoke had an intensity to it that usually only came from an explosion. She knew instinctively that somebody would be badly hurt, if not dead, with smoke like that.
‘Holy shit! We better head over to Judy and Steve’s and see what in the hell has happened!’ Sarah said anxiously as she started hurrying for the door. Lily and Daniel ran after her.
Duke jumped up in the front of the Land Cruiser with Sarah as Lily and Daniel hurled themselves in the back. Sarah hit the accelerator and threw a storm of stones and dust out behind the truck as she sped off towards the homestead, going twenty to the dozen.
When she pulled up it was absolute mayhem. Slim, Stumpy and Chris were running around yelling orders at each other while throwing things in the back of Steve’s ute. Their horses stood under the shade of a wattle tree, sweat dripping off them, drinking eagerly from a bucket of water. Georgia and Steve were packing what looked like medical equipment into the front of the ute while shouting at each other to hurry up. Judy was standing on the verandah crying into the phone. Nobody had noticed Sarah, Daniel and Lily arrive. Sarah scanned the area for Brad. He wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
Judy was the first to see them and ran in Sarah’s direction with her arms outstretched. Sarah’s heart dropped to the floor. It had to be Brad. The world started to spin beneath her feet. She wanted to run to Judy, but she felt like her feet were weighed down with cement. Judy reached Sarah and hugged her in close.