by Magro, Mandy
He found himself reflecting on the first couple of years with Brooke, when everything was great. She’d been easygoing, fun, and happy to help out on the station. Then she made some new friends at the beauty course, started to change the way she dressed, and worried about her appearance a lot more. Over the past year he had watched her slowly change into a person he felt he didn’t know any more. The only things she seemed to give a shit about now were her make-up and her hair.
He’d hoped that asking her to move out to the station might bring back the girl he’d fallen in love with, but she was only getting worse. She’d become distant and selfish, and unless things went exactly the way she wanted she would get moody and not talk to him for days. She’d also lost interest in coming with him to Mt Isa, despite having friends there. She preferred to stay on the station while Matt drove the cattle back and forth. From time to time he’d wondered what she got up to while he was away, and suspicions were stirring in his mind. Something just wasn’t feeling right, and that was before he’d kissed Sarah. But there was too much turmoil going around in his mind and his heart right now to deal with it all.
He rolled the images of kissing Sarah over in his mind, savouring them illicitly, before swearing at himself. He had to stop thinking like this. He’d ruined any chance he’d ever had of being with Sarah. No woman, especially not her, would want to be with a man who had proved himself capable of cheating. He knew he had to tell Brooke about what had happened – it would be wrong not to – but with the savage welcome home he’d received he hadn’t been able to. It could wait a couple of days.
Sarah had tears pouring down her face when she pulled up outside the cottage. She still found Matt’s reaction to the kiss hard to comprehend. She was terrified that she’d not only ruined any chance she’d ever had of being with him, but had ruined their friendship as well. The connection she felt with Matt was stronger than any she’d ever felt with a man before, and she couldn’t ignore it. She knew he felt the same – it was there in the passion of his kiss. But why had he pulled away so abruptly? And ignored her so coldly, like he was angry with her? She wondered what was going to happen now. It would be impossible for them to be around each other after what had just taken place.
Sarah wiped her tears away and tried to compose herself. She took a deep breath, mentally packing away all her emotions. The men weren’t home yet but she had to get dinner happening, and she didn’t want the men to notice she’d been crying. She would have plenty of time to mull over her thoughts when she went to bed tonight. ‘Come on, Duke. Let’s go and get this food on the barbecue, buddy. I want to have it all ready for the men when they walk in the door.’
The only word Duke really took note of coming out of his master’s mouth was food, and that was enough for him. Together he and Sarah headed to the house with the red claw and fish, Duke turning circles in his excitement. An hour later Patrick stuck his head into the kitchen, the first through the door. His face lit up like a Christmas tree as he smelt the amazing aroma coming from Sarah’s pots and pans.
‘It smells like we have a feast of seafood for dinner!’
‘You little ripper!’ Slim and Stumpy said in unison, sticking their heads in behind him.
Sarah put on the happiest voice she could muster. ‘Hey, you lot, there’s a surprise for dinner tonight. I caught us some barra and red claw today at the dam, and I’ve done a few bits and bobs to go with it. You reckon you can handle that?’
‘She’s weaving her way to my heart through my stomach!’ Liam said, his eyes widening in anticipation.
‘I’m allergic to seafood,’ Chris said, the last to come in, and the only downcast face amongst the sea of happy ones.
‘Oh well, beans on toast for you then,’ Patrick quickly joked.
Sarah was genuinely upset. The thought that one of the men might be allergic to seafood had not even crossed her mind. ‘Oh, no. Sorry, Chris. I can make you something else. What would you like, mate?’
‘Forget it,’ Chris snapped. ‘I’ll make myself something later.’
‘Hey, man. Lighten up,’ Stumpy said, with a warning tone in his voice.
Chris muttered something under his breath and walked out of the kitchen.
‘Looks like I royally stuffed up. Oh well. I did offer to make him something else.’ Sarah lifted her hands up in the air in defeat.
‘Don’t worry about him. He’s been complaining all bloody day. Maybe he should try getting more sleep rather than gallivanting around all night doing whatever it is he gets up to. He’s been as useful as a chocolate teapot today,’ said Patrick. ‘We’re all chuffed that you’ve done this for us, Sarah. You’re a champ!’ He grabbed her in a warm hug.
‘I’ll leave a can of beans out for him with some bread, so he can’t say I didn’t feed him tonight,’ said Sarah, still not sure what to make of Chris’s reaction. ‘Now do you blokes want to have a shower before dinner? You all smell a little fresh.’ Sarah playfully swiped the air and screwed up her nose.
‘You’re the boss of the kitchen, mate, and if you want us all showered and smelling like roses before we eat, then that’s what you’ll get. Your wish is our command!’ Stumpy smiled.
‘I bag the first shower!’ Liam ran to grab his towel.
Sarah felt her spirits lifting. The guys always put her in a good mood with their cheery banter, and she was glad she’d gone out of her way to treat them. They’d been so wonderful to her, and she wanted to repay them for their kindness. From the looks on their faces as they gazed at the food, she was repaying them plenty.
They showered in record time and were soon seated at the table ready to enjoy the buffet. Sarah had made a huge garden salad, a potato salad, baked fish stuffed with garlic and lemon, red claw done in garlic butter, boiled red claw, homemade seafood sauce to dip it all into and some garlic bread, and there were plenty of beers to wash it all down with. The group sat back like beached whales after it was all finished, but there was still no sign of Chris.
Matt sat at the bar, his head hung low from the weight he was carrying in his heart. He was on his seventh whisky on the rocks and he knew he would have to hit the sack soon, before he fell off his bar stool. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sarah. The kiss at the dam had sent feelings flooding through him that were incredibly powerful. The look in her eyes when he had left her lying on the ground cut him deep, but he hadn’t known what else to do. Even though it was just a kiss, he’d known he wanted it to be more, and given half a chance he would’ve let himself go. But he had to end it with Brooke – the fact that he was deeply unhappy in his relationship was no excuse for what he’d done. He knew it was going to break Brooke’s heart, but he had to tell her about the kiss. He sculled the last of his whisky, crunching the remnants of the ice between his teeth as he put the glass down. The alcohol felt like thick liquid oozing through his body and he desperately needed to lie down.
Matt tossed and turned under the sheets in the hotel room, the turmoil in his heart making him unable to doze off. Finally he fell into a restless sleep, and Sarah appeared before him. She was standing in front of him, kissing him gently down the throat and whispering in his ear that she loved him. He threw her back in his arms and kissed her hard on the lips, his desire for her ripping at his core, making him want to taste her all over. She tore at his shirt, the buttons falling by the wayside as she exposed his broad chest. He slowly unzipped her jeans and slid them down her slim, tanned legs, kissing her as he went, all the way down to her toes. He hooked her underpants under his fingers and slid them down slowly, but before he could explore she reached for his face and pulled him gently back up to her. She caressed his lips with her mouth, running her tongue over his. He could taste her sweetness. He slowly unbuttoned her shirt and when he reached her flat belly he licked it, running his tongue around her belly button. Slipping her lace bra off, he cupped her full breasts in his hands and lowered his mouth to them, letting his warm breath wash over her nipples, teasing her, licking and sucking th
em. She moaned in pleasure. He picked her up and placed her on the bed, barely able to contain his desire. She looked deeply into his eyes and he knew she wanted to feel him inside her. He pulled down his jeans and stood in front of her, his longing for her obvious. She sat up and licked down his shaft and over the tip of his erect penis, causing him to groan in delight. He felt his legs go weak. He needed her, wanted her and craved her. He pushed her gently back on the bed and slowly entered her, sighing in pleasure. His body tingled and pulsed from head to toe as he felt her warmth envelop him.
And then, with no warning, Matt woke up. He was lying in a narrow hotel bed, covered in sweat. Shaking the sensations from his body, the dream was still fresh in his mind as he headed outside to the cool, fresh air.
Chapter Twenty-Three
‘I’M knackered. I’m gonna hit the sack early,’ Stumpy said, standing to help clear away some of the dishes while licking the last of the red claw from his lips.
‘Me too. I can’t move after that feed. I’m as full as a fat man’s undies,’ Slim added.
‘Yeah, I reckon I’ll be asleep before my head even hits the pillow,’ Jimmy said, yawning. ‘I have a big few days ahead of me. Can’t say I won’t miss you all, but I’ll see you next year. Judy and Steve have asked me to come back next season and I told them I’d love to.’
‘That’s great news, Jimmy. But what do you mean, a big few days?’ Sarah mumbled, feeling the exhaustion of the day creeping up on her.
‘I’m heading back to Mareeba the day after tomorrow,’ Jimmy said. ‘Georgia’s offered to drop me at the bus station in Mt Isa.’
‘Shit, that soon, Jimmy? I thought you weren’t leaving til next week’t Sarah said, suddenly awake.
‘I was gonna leave next week, but we finished up the last of the mustering today, so I’m not really needed any more. It’s my dad’s birthday next week and I’d like to be home for it if I can.’
Sarah’s mind raced with sudden possibilities. A yawn came from nowhere and a second wave of tiredness washed over her.
‘Liam and I’ll clean up tonight, Sarah. After that effort I think you deserve a break from the washing up.’
‘Thanks, Patrick. I’ll help you carry everything in,’ Sarah said gratefully, standing up to gather everybody’s plates.
The guys helped her, each grabbing a handful of dirty plates and bowls to carry into the kitchen.
‘Are you sure you two don’t mind?’ Sarah asked.
‘Of course we don’t, mate! Now you tootle off to bed. You look knackered,’ Liam replied.
By four in the morning Sarah had had enough of trying to sleep. She kicked off her sheet in a huff and wandered out to the kitchen to make herself a cuppa. She went onto the patio and sat in her usual spot, waiting for the sun to rise and pondering what she should do.
She was meant to stay on for another couple of weeks at the station, but the work had basically wound up for the season. She was pretty sure Judy and Steve wouldn’t mind if she left now. That way she could give Jimmy a lift back to Mareeba. It was a long trek for her to do on her own, and she would appreciate the company. And she could make life easier for Matt – he wouldn’t have to avoid her until she left. It had been pretty obvious from his reaction that he didn’t want to see her again. She figured she’d be doing him a favour. She took a deep breath and shut her eyes. She knew what she had to do, but it was going to break her heart to do it.
As soon as the men had left for work Sarah headed out the door. When she’d mentioned the possibility of a lift to Jimmy over breakfast, he’d been excited at the chance to go home with her instead of catching the bus. The men had reacted slightly differently. They’d sat in front of her without a word, shocked by the news that she might be leaving so suddenly. Sarah did her best to act cheerfully and hid her feelings, explaining that she was feeling a bit homesick. Since the season was almost over and she could take Jimmy, now seemed as good a time as any. They’d accepted her reasoning, visibly saddened by the thought of her leaving them. Her heart ached at the sight of their faces, and she barely knew what to say when they told her she’d better be back to cook for them next year. She knew full well that she would probably never set foot on Rosalee Station again. She’d stuffed it up well and good. It was time to go home and restart her life back on the fruit farm.
Sarah pulled up outside the homestead. She was absolutely petrified of running into Matt and prayed that he was off working on the station somewhere. She took a deep breath and hopped out of the Land Cruiser. Judy answered her knock at the homestead with her customary warm smile. ‘Come in, darling. Do you want a cuppa?’
‘That would be lovely, Judy. Thanks.’ Sarah followed her into the kitchen, keeping an eye out for any sign of Matt.
‘So how’re things, love?’ Judy asked, pouring hot water into a cup and jiggling a tea bag.
Sarah felt a lump in her throat as she began to talk. ‘Well, Judy … I, um, well …’
Judy looked up from the kitchen bench as tears filled Sarah’s eyes. ‘Oh, love. What’s the matter?’
Sarah burst out crying. ‘I think I’m gonna head home tomorrow, Judy. Sorry for the short notice, but I just feel like it’s the right time to go.’ She pulled back from Judy’s embrace and grabbed a tissue from the box on the bench, blowing her nose loudly.
Judy’s dismay was obvious. ‘If you’re leaving because you’re worried about not having any work once the men go, then don’t, Sarah. There’s plenty you can do until we need a cook again. We’d all love you to stay. I hope you know that.’
Sarah smiled beneath her tears. ‘Thanks, Judy. That means a lot to me. Thanks for being so lovely and for treating me like one of the family. But I just feel it’s time to go home.’
Judy nodded. ‘I can understand that, love. I hope you’re going to come back and work next year.’
‘I’ll definitely consider it.’ Sarah sniffed a little, the tears drying on her cheeks.
‘Why so sudden, love? You know, wanting to leave and all? I thought you’d be here for at least a week more.’
‘Jimmy mentioned he was heading home on the bus tomorrow afternoon and it seemed a shame when I could give him a lift. Plus I thought it would be nice to have company to drive home with. It’s silly to wait a few weeks more, only to drive home on my own. Dad could probably use a hand on the farm too.’ Sarah hoped her white lie was convincing.
Judy shrugged her shoulders. ‘Yeah, it does seem like a good opportunity to take. After all, it is a long drive you’ve got ahead of you. Please keep in touch, though, won’t you, love? We’re gonna miss you around here. Georgia and Steve should be back this arvo – drop in to say bye. If you want to say goodbye to Matt, though, you might have to give him a call on his mobile when you’re passing through Mt Isa. He and Brooke had a massive argument last night and he took off for a few days, saying he needed time to clear his head. God knows what took place, but he was really upset. I thought it best to let him go without bombarding him with questions.’ Judy’s face creased with worry as she spoke.
Sarah felt a rush of guilt. She hoped and prayed that the argument between Matt and Brooke wasn’t brought on by her. She was suddenly filled with a desperate need to run from the house, pack her bags and leave. God, imagine if she ran into Brooke. Matt had obviously told Brooke what happened. She felt sick with anxiety at the thought of seeing her. She wouldn’t know what to say.
Sarah sipped the hot cup of tea that Judy had just made as fast as she could, while listening with half an ear to Judy jabber on about how poorly Brooke treated Matt. She sat there inwardly cringing – little did Judy know, she thought sadly. Trying to gulp down mouthfuls of the scalding tea, Sarah burnt her tongue, but finally her cup was empty.
‘Well, I have to run, Judy. The men are home for lunch today and I’ve loads to pack before I hit the road.’ She reached out to give Judy a hug and Judy responded warmly, hugging Sarah until she could barely breathe. She walked her to the door of the homestead, wiping a few te
ars away.
‘Drop by before you leave and say goodbye to Steve and Georgia, won’t you? And please let me know when you’re home safe and sound. You have my email address, so don’t be afraid to use it, okay?’ Judy said, holding Sarah’s hands.
Sarah squeezed Judy’s hands in hers. ‘I promise I’ll keep in touch, Judy.’
Sarah waved from the Land Cruiser as she started the engine and drove back to the cottage. She was going to miss Judy and her welcoming home. Sarah knew a piece of her would remain here no matter what, and the thought of it brought tears to her eyes. That piece of her heart belonged to Matt, the man she had fallen deeply in love with.
Sarah packed most of her clothes while waiting for the men to come home for lunch. The room looked so bare already, and it made her sad to think she only had one more night in her bed here. She had enjoyed so many nights under the roof of the cottage with the blokes. It had changed her life being out here, and she wondered if her family would be able to see the difference. The trauma of her break-up with Brad, his shocking accident and her growing feelings for Matt, along with the rough-and-tumble of daily life with the men, had all contributed to the change she felt within herself.
She gathered up the mound of tissues on her bedroom floor. The tears had rolled freely and endlessly while she had been packing, but now she had to pull it together. She was not about to let the men see how upset she was. It would worry them all too much, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. She was so deep in thought that she nearly hit the roof when there was a gentle knock at her door. ‘Come in!’ she called, quickly wiping her face to remove any residue of the tears. She hadn’t expected the men home for another hour.
‘Hi, mate,’ Patrick said as he came through the door. ‘Shit, it looks empty in here!’
‘My word it does, Patrick. I’m gonna miss this place.’ Sarah sat on the bed and gazed out the window, trying to avoid eye contact with him, knowing full well that the redness of her eyes would give her away.