by Magro, Mandy
Matt lifted his hat and wiped the sweat off his brow. ‘I’m going home to kick the cheating bitch out of my house. Then I’m coming back to fire Chris. He can drive Brooke back to Mt Isa – they’re welcome to each other. This is probably a blessing in disguise. By the way, is Sarah about?’
Patrick shook his head. ‘There’s more bad news, mate. She and Jimmy drove back to Mareeba yesterday.’
Matt felt his throat close over with emotion. He couldn’t believe Sarah was gone. He’d spent most of the past forty-eight hours thinking of nothing but her. He’d made up his mind to break up with Brooke, and use the kiss as a way to end things with her. It’d been a long time coming, and he’d finally realised how strong his feelings were for Sarah. He’d thought it was going to be clear-cut, but now, Sarah was gone. He wondered briefly if he’d had anything to do with her sudden departure.
He hid his disappointment, not wanting Patrick to see he was taken aback. ‘Shame I didn’t get to say goodbye to Sarah. She was a good worker. Anyway, Patrick, I’ve got some shit to deal with at home. See you back here soon.’
Brooke was sitting on the couch when Matt walked in the front door, slamming the flyscreen behind him and nearly ripping it off its hinges.
‘Hi!’ Brooke called in a cheery voice, as though their recent arguement was completely forgotten. ‘I haven’t had breakfast yet but maybe you feel like being kitchen bitch and making me something?’
There was no reply from Matt, who’d headed straight to the kitchen to grab a garbage bag, and then headed to the bedroom. He started shoving Brooke’s clothes and possessions roughly into the bag, and as he worked he felt himself calm down. No matter what happened, Brooke wouldn’t get the better of him now.
He could hear her calling him from the lounge room, and after a couple of minutes she appeared in the doorway of the bedroom.
‘That wasn’t much of a hello, was —’ She stopped short. He watched panic rise on her face. ‘What the hell are you doing with my things, Matt?’
Matt looked up at her, his nostrils flaring like a micky bull. ‘You cheap little floozy. Who do you think you are, inviting men into our bed when I’m not here?’ He felt his temper rise and the words flew out of his mouth like flying bullets. ‘I thought you were in love with me, Brooke, but you only love yourself. I cannot believe I’ve wasted years of my life with you! I want you the hell out of this house and the hell off this station today. You can catch a lift with Chris, who’ll also be leaving.’
‘Have you lost your mind, Matt? What are you on about? I love you, and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise our relationship,’ Brooke said, her eyes pleading with him. ‘I don’t know who’s been telling you what, but I’ll give them a good piece of my mind!’
Matt turned to her briefly and smiled cynically. ‘Don’t try and look sweet and innocent, Brooke. You’re far from it. I don’t want to hear any of your cock-and-bull stories. I don’t owe you any explanations, but there’s some pretty hardcore evidence that proves you’ve been up to a lot more than you might admit to. I’ve seen photos of you and Chris going for it in our bed. Now get the hell out of my sight, and take your shit with you!’
Matt threw the filled garbage bag at Brooke. It landed with a crash at her feet. ‘Fine, Matt. It’s your loss anyway!’ Brooke said, her eyes flashing. ‘You don’t know a good thing when you’ve got it. That’s why I ended up with Chris – you didn’t give me what I needed. You drove me into another man’s arms!’
Matt bared his teeth like a dog about to attack. ‘How dare you accuse me of not appreciating you, Brooke? I’ve always done my best to treat you with love and respect, and this is how you repay me! I cannot believe you. Now get the hell out of my house! You’re enough to give diarrhoea the shits!’
At his words Brooke fell to the floor and started sobbing, but Matt was past caring. He tried to step over her and she grabbed his leg, trying to hold on to him weakly.
‘I mean it, Brooke. I’m gonna stand at the front door until you walk out of it. You better go now before you miss your lift with Chris! I’m not bloody driving you to Mt Isa.’
After a few moments, Brooke stood up and tried to compose herself. Taking deep, gaspy breaths, she grabbed her bag of clothes off the floor and raised her head high in the air. ‘I’m glad to be leaving. I hate this dust pit,’ she spat.
‘Fuck you!’ was all Matt could muster as he watched Brooke walk out the door. He hoped he never laid eyes on her again.
Stumpy, Slim, Patrick and Liam were sitting in the lounge watching telly when Matt walked in the door. On the drive from the homestead, Matt had told himself over and over not to do anything stupid to Chris, even though every bit of him wanted to lay him out.
‘Where’s the bastard?’ Matt asked as the men looked up from the telly.
‘He’s in his room, mate. Do you want us to join you?’ Stumpy asked.
‘Nah, I can handle it,’ Matt replied as he punched his fist into his hand. He headed down the hallway and bashed on Chris’s door.
A muffled voice shouted back from inside. ‘What the hell do you want? I’m sleeping in here!’
Matt didn’t bother to answer. He shoved the door open and in two strides had crossed the floor to the bed and grabbed Chris by his singlet. They were close enough for Matt to feel Chris’s nervous breath on his chin. Sweat beaded Chris’s forehead as he saw the anger in Matt’s eyes.
‘You get the hell off my property, and if you try any funny business I’ll have your guts for garters,’ Matt growled. He could smell the fear pouring out of Chris, who remained speechless. He looked like one of those painted metal clowns at the fairground, his mouth hanging open ready for punters to drop a ball into.
Matt filled in the deafening silence. ‘I think you know what I’m on about, Chris. How dare you cheat with Brooke, especially under my roof? Where’s your respect? You only operate by your dick. Now pack your shit and bugger off – and make sure you take Brooke with you.’
He let go of Chris, and the sweating man crumpled back onto the bed, shaking like a leaf. With one last look at him, Matt went out to the lounge to sit with the men. Minutes later Chris slunk past them all, holding his bag and quickly pushing his way out the front door. ‘You can all go to hell!’ he screamed from the safety of the porch.
‘See you there!’ Slim yelled back, smirking.
Matt, Slim, Liam, Patrick and Stumpy watched from a distance as Brooke and Chris stood together under the cluster of paperbark trees. They were waiting for them to leave. Matt wanted nothing more than to see the dust trailing from the back of Chris’s ute as the pair of them drove away. While he waited, his thoughts kept returning to the moment he had shared with Sarah by the dam. He felt his heart ache, wondering if he was ever going to see her again. He’d royally stuffed that one up.
Finally Chris and Brooke loaded up the ute and, with a slamming of doors, headed towards the gates.
‘Good riddance,’ Matt mumbled as the pair drove off the station and towards Mt Isa.
Chapter Twenty-Five
SARAH pulled the doona up and over her head as Lily sat down on the edge of her bed. She didn’t want to face yet another tear-filled day. Lily placed her hand gently on Sarah’s doona.
‘Mate, I’m begging you. You gotta try to let him go. It’s been almost a month since you’ve been home, and we’ve barely seen you smile. I know it’s tough when you have a broken heart, but please don’t shut all of us out. We love you, Sarah.’
Sarah sighed and pulled the doona down so her eyes were visible. ‘I know you love me, Lily, and I’m sorry I’m an absolute sad case… but I just can’t stop thinking about him and what could have been. Life just isn’t fair sometimes. I can’t pretend I’m happy when I’m not.’
Lily smiled lovingly at Sarah. ‘I’m not asking you to pretend, mate, I’m just asking you to at least try to have a bit of fun. And yes, you’re right, babe. Life isn’t always fair, but it’s at these moments that you have to decide whether you’re g
onna be a victim or a survivor. And you, Sarah Clarke, are a survivor.’
Sarah couldn’t help but smile. Lily always knew just what to say to make her feel better. ‘Oh bloody hell, I know you’re right, Lil. I want to get my sorry arse up and enjoy the day, but then once I’m up all I wanna do is go back to bed and cry. Matt is probably off enjoying himself with Brooke anyway. I just need to get over him.’
Lily slapped Sarah’s shoulder gently. ‘That’s the spirit, my friend! Now get up and help me pick up all these tissues on the floor. What are you trying to do, sponsor Kleenex?’
Sarah peered over the edge of the bed and grimaced. There would have been easily two boxes’ worth of tissues thrown haphazardly about the floor. ‘Oh my goodness! I’ve been crying a river, haven’t I?’
Lily nodded. ‘You have, mate, but that river has dried up now, right? There’s life out there to be living!’ And with those words, Sarah couldn’t help but believe her.
Lily helped Sarah tidy up her room, ripping her sheets off the bed for a well-needed wash. Sarah caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she was tidying up and frowned. ‘Shit, Lily. I look like death warmed up.’
‘That’s what happens when you cry all day long and don’t get any sunshine,’ Lily replied. She walked over and pulled open Sarah’s curtains, coughing at the dust that had built up over the last month. ‘There’s a party tonight at Jimmy’s farm. Daniel and I are going. Are you gonna come with us?’
Sarah knew it wasn’t really a question. She threw her hands up in the air. ‘Yes, I’ll come. I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t.’ She screwed her face up as she got a whiff of her underarms. ‘Man, I’m in desperate need of a shower. I smell like a mountain person!’
‘Tell us about it! Now go and hose yourself down, and I’ll make us a feed for breakfast. Bacon and eggs sound good?’
‘Just what the doctor ordered.’ Sarah smiled, feeling a little spark of life bubbling in her belly. It felt good to smile. The last month she hadn’t known herself. She had never been so torn up before. Every thought she had revolved around Matt, and she’d replayed the scene at the dam so many times in her head that it was starting to feel like a dream. But the awful, bone-crunching knowledge that Matt hadn’t wanted anything to do with her afterwards was not a dream, and thinking about it even now hurt her heart too much.
But Lily was right – life was meant to be lived, not spent pining away. Sarah decided she would throw herself back into it and enjoy the time with her family and friends. Christmas was next week, and she hadn’t even begun to buy gifts for everyone. There would be plenty to keep her busy.
Maggie jumped up from her seat the minute Sarah walked into the kitchen, freshly showered and smiling. ‘Good morning, my love! Glad to see you’ve finally decided to join the land of the living! We’ve missed you.’ She gave Sarah a big cuddle.
Sarah squeezed her mum back tightly. ‘I’ve missed my mum! Sorry I’ve been so down and out. I just needed a bit of time to get over a few things, but Lily has helped me out of it. Enough moping around, I reckon.’
Maggie stood back and put her hands on Sarah’s shoulders, looking deeply into her daughter’s eyes. ‘That’s so good to hear, darling. We knew you’d snap out of it eventually. You just needed time to heal. Don’t be too hard on yourself for it now, you hear?’
Sarah smiled at Maggie, her heart filling with emotion. ‘You’re the best mum ever. Thanks for being so understanding. Love you!’
‘Love you too, Sarah.’
‘One egg or two?’ Lily asked from the stove, dishing up breakfast.
‘Three, I reckon! If there’s enough, that is.’ Sarah was feeling her appetite return with a vengeance.
Lily laughed. ‘She’s definitely back!’
At that moment Daniel and Jack stepped into the kitchen, covered in mud. ‘Gee whiz, you two look lovely this morning,’ Sarah said.
‘Blocked pipe,’ said Jack shortly, before realising it was Sarah speaking. A smile cracked his face, and Daniel beamed from ear to ear. ‘Ah, sis! You’re back from the upstairs bedroom!’ He ran over to give her a huge hug, covering her in mud.
‘Oh, bloody hell, Dan. I’ve just showered and all!’ she squealed, cuddling him back in spite of herself.
Jack walked over and gave Sarah a ruffle on the head, messing up her wild curls. ‘Feeling better now, sweetheart, I see.’
‘Sure am, Dad.’
‘Good on you, my girl.’
The party was in full swing by the time they arrived, and Sarah felt the adrenaline start to flood through her as she heard the low thump of the bass. Jack had dropped Daniel, Lily and Sarah off at Jimmy’s place with strict instructions to call him if they needed a lift home, mumbling that he would rather them wake him up in the middle of the night than for him to get a call from the hospital because they had caught a lift with some drunken idiot. In case they wanted to stay the night, Daniel had brought the swags.
Sarah’s excitement rose as they approached Jimmy’s farmhouse. It was going to be a great night, catching up with mates she hadn’t seen for almost five months. She could just make out the orange glow coming from a huge bonfire. Jimmy usually had one at his parties. This wasn’t Jimmy’s actual home – it was a little shack on his family’s property that had been the scene of many a wild night. Everyone called it the Sugar Shack – all the seats inside were made from bales of sugar-cane mulch – and you knew if there was a party at the Sugar Shack, it wasn’t one to miss.
‘Shit, watch out girls!’ Daniel yelled, pushing Sarah and Lily out of the way as a bush basher came around the back of the shack with Jimmy and a bunch of his mates hanging out the window, hooting and hollering. Sarah saw Brad in the passenger seat. The horn was stuck on, and the noise was close to deafening. Every single panel of the car was bashed in, and the back tailgate hung by a thin sliver of metal as it dragged along the dusty ground, banging and clattering over every rock. The large crowd gathered in front of the shack quickly jumped out of the way, cheering and clapping as the driver began to spin the tyres. The smell of burning rubber filled the air and smoke surrounded the beast of a car. Seconds later, one of the back tyres exploded, the rim of the disintegrating wheel throwing out sparks. The horn was finally silenced and Brad emerged, holding a beer bottle up in triumph. Sarah rolled her eyes and laughed. From the state Brad was in, it looked as though the party had started earlier than expected.
‘Sarah!’ Brad called, coming over for a hug. It was great to see him enjoying himself. They quickly fell into an easy chat and swapped news and jokes for a while. Both avoided talking about the accident, but Sarah was relieved things were comfortable between them.
She soon found herself with her fourth or fifth Bundy and Coke in hand, standing near the bonfire with Lily and Daniel. Suddenly Johnny Marsh went tearing past the crowd on his imaginary horse, butt-naked, with just his hat covering his manhood, singing out ‘giddy up’ at the top of his lungs. Sarah laughed so hard she had Bundy and Coke coming out of her nostrils. Before she knew it her legs had given way, and she couldn’t stop giggling as she fell on her butt. Lily tried her best to help her stand up, but Sarah’s legs refused to carry her. Lily finally gave up and flopped down beside Sarah, laughing so hard she was snorting, which in turn made Sarah giggle even more. Daniel swayed above them, holding out a hand to each of them.
‘Nah, you’re right, Dan. I reckon I might lie here for a few minutes until the sky stops spinning so much,’ Sarah said. ‘I feel like I’m on a bloody merry-go-round.’
‘Me too!’ Lily exclaimed, burping loudly. ‘Oops, pardon pigs in front of hogs!’
‘Hey! Who you calling a hog?’ Sarah asked, hiccuping loudly.
‘Come on, you two. Let me help you back up!’ Daniel hooted.
Sarah and Lily held out their hands and Daniel wobbled and swayed, finally getting the girls to their feet. The people gathered
around the bonfire cheered when the girls were up, and Sarah held her thumb up in the ai
r triumphantly.
Someone turned the stereo up, and the Dixie Chicks’ ‘Sin Wagon’ blared out of the speakers. Sarah threw her hands up in the air and stomped her boots on the ground, singing along to the song at the top of her lungs. She felt alive for the first time in weeks, and revelled in the sensation of dancing, letting herself go with the raw earth beneath her feet. Goose bumps ran up her spine from the sheer joy of it all. She twirled around in circles, taking pleasure in the motion of her own body and the feeling of the alcohol coursing through her. She was so happy to be back. Lily and Daniel threw their arms over her shoulders and the three of them bumped and jived together in a line, trying to imitate line dancing but failing miserably.
The music played on for the rest of the night, the crowd dwindling as the hours passed, and before long all that was left were hot embers of the bonfire and snoring bodies in swags.
Sarah squinted as the sun beamed down on her, rudely waking her from her drunken slumber. She sat up and surveyed the Sugar Shack in the harsh reality of the morning light; groaning as her head started to ache. Her mouth felt like it was a dried-up riverbed and she need a glass of water like it was going out of fashion.
Lily and Daniel were beside her, slowly stirring from their sleep, looking a bit worse for wear. Sarah wondered how she appeared after seeing the state of them. She tried to run her fingers through her curls, but they were matted and refused to untangle. She could feel something sticky in there too, and grimaced as she wondered what it might be. She vaguely remembered throwing up at some stage, and hoped Lily had been there to hold her hair back. Otherwise that was probably what was acting as an unwanted styling product this morning.
Johnny Marsh waved at her from his place beside the smouldering embers; he was still butt-naked, except for his Akubra over his manhood, and obviously slightly embarrassed.