by Sabrina Sol
“Then why?”
“Because I want you to trust me. I want you to trust in what we’re doing.”
“I do.”
“Then why do I feel like you’re holding a piece of yourself back from me?”
She knew what he meant, and he was right. Still, she’d rather go on the defensive than talk about why she felt the way she did.
“Honestly? Maybe it’s because I feel like you’re holding back, too. I’ve known you for years and yet it’s like I don’t know you at all. You’re good at expressing what you want from me in bed. But it’s like pulling teeth to get you to tell me about anything else.”
She waited for him to argue. Instead, he nodded. The car came to a stop, and she looked out the window. She’d been so focused on their conversation, she hadn’t realized they’d driven into a cemetery.
“Why are we here?”
He turned off the car and glanced at her before opening his door. “You want to know me? Well, then, get down and I’ll show you.”
…
Dante took measured steps as he crossed the lawn to his destination. He didn’t hear Alexa behind him—the soft grass muffled her movement—but he knew she was there. She’d surprised him by showing up at his house, and he hadn’t done a very good job of hiding it. He’d seen the hurt in her eyes and realized what she must be thinking. That’s when he knew it was time to tell her.
He arrived at the shaded spot just to the left of a large majestic tree. Kneeling beside the stone, he pulled the dried flowers out of the in-ground container and replaced them with the bouquet of fresh ones he’d brought. “Happy birthday,” he said as he brushed leaves from the headstone.
“Lucy Jenkins,” Alexa read from behind him. “Isn’t that…”
“Yes, she’s the one who used to live in my house.”
“I don’t understand.”
Dante stood up and turned to face Alexa. “Ms. Lucy was my social worker when I was a kid.”
He waited, watching for the pity or judgment reflected in her eyes. Instead, it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. “You were a foster kid.” It was a statement, not a question.
The sense of relief he felt gave him the courage to tell her what he’d never told anyone before.
“My mother…had problems. Mental problems. She couldn’t hold down a job or keep an apartment. DCFS finally took me away from her when I was ten. I was in and out of group homes because I kept running away. Then I met Ms. Lucy when I was thirteen, and she changed my life.”
He explained how Lucy Jenkins had been the first person to tell him the truth—that he wasn’t ever going back to his mother because she didn’t want him. Then she promised him that she was going to make sure he was always okay.
He gave her a hard time at first. He was an angry kid who hated everyone and everything. Eventually, she managed to gain his trust and respect.
“Did she become like a mentor?”
“Kind of,” Dante recalled. “School was a big thing to her. She always wanted to see my grades and helped me with special projects when I needed supplies and stuff. She even convinced me to join the debate team in high school. So in a way, she’s responsible for me becoming an attorney.”
She nodded as he continued. “But it was more than that. She never had any kids of her own, and for some reason she saw something in me that connected us. She bought me birthday gifts and even took me to see my first Dodgers game. I can’t explain it, but that changed me. I finally had someone who gave a shit about me, and I wanted to make her proud. You know, I even asked her once if she could adopt me.”
Alexa reached out and touched his arm. He didn’t dare look at her. Instead, he continued with his story. “She told me that she would if she could. But her husband didn’t want children, and I was already in high school by then. Over time, it didn’t really matter that I couldn’t live with her. She still treated me like her son.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell us about her?” He could hear the hurt in her voice, and he wanted to kick himself for ever thinking she’d pity him.
“College was a weird time for me. I saw it as my chance to start a new life, be someone with a different past. So I hid the fact that I was there on a scholarship. When I first met Brandon, I guess I was too ashamed to tell him anything. And, as time went on, it got harder to tell him—to tell you.”
She nodded as if she understood, but did she? Here he’d been asking her to trust him with a relationship and he hadn’t trusted her with this. “What happened to Ms. Lucy?” she finally asked.
“We kept in touch when I was in New York. She was so proud when I got into law school that she even made the trip for my graduation. When I moved back to Los Angeles, we were able to spend more time together. We’d go to dinner and see each other on holidays. Her husband had passed away by then, and she was retired from the county. In a way, it was like we finally became a family. Then, six months ago, she went into the hospital for hip surgery and never woke up.”
Alexa grabbed his hand and squeezed. He still refused to look at her. The pain of having to make the decision to remove her from life support was still as piercing as it had been that day. His eyes burned and his throat closed as emotions he’d spent months pushing down began to bubble to the surface. He hadn’t known how to deal with losing the one woman who’d meant everything to him.
Just like he didn’t know how to deal with the one standing next to him, because she was beginning to mean so much.
Ms. Lucy would’ve loved Alexa. They both had big personalities and even bigger hearts. One of his lifelong regrets would always be not introducing them in person, even though she knew about Alexa and Brandon and had seen pictures. He knew that confused Ms. Lucy. Maybe it even hurt her. And he would always blame himself for not fixing that.
Grief choked him. Dammit. This was what he’d been afraid of. A whisper of wind broke through the trees at the moment, and he could hear Ms. Lucy’s voice telling him to get over himself.
No more hiding who you are. No more regrets.
Alexa sniffed. “I’m so sorry, Dante. She sounds like she was an amazing woman. I’m glad that you had her in your life. And now you’re living in her house. That’s pretty cool.”
He cleared his throat and finally turned to face her. “Yeah. She always told me that she hated that she couldn’t give me a home when I was a kid. Now, I guess, she has.”
She went to him finally and wrapped her arms around his chest. It took him a few seconds before he hugged her back. Relief and a sense of peace washed over him.
He’d found comfort in her arms that had nothing to do with sex. It fulfilled him in a way he’d never experienced before. And for the first time since he’d kissed her on the beach back in Puerto Rico, he pushed aside the fear and worry that Alexa could break him.
Dante closed his eyes and let himself pretend it would always be like this between them.
Chapter Twelve
The doorbell rang, signaling she’d run out of time.
Dammit.
That’s what she got for watching television.
Alexa had never been one to spend hours on end glued to the TV. She’d always been too busy or too tired. Then one of the servers at the restaurant told her about a new series on Netflix, and she’d signed up for the service just to check it out.
One episode turned into two, and before she knew it, it was four o’clock and she only had an hour to get ready before Dante would be there to pick her up. They were going to Brandon and Daisy’s for dinner.
Although the four of them had hung out before, this was going to be the first time since Alexa and Dante had started having sex.
Brandon had taken the news surprisingly well.
“As long as I don’t have to hear you complaining about one another or, worse, what you do in the bedroom, then I’m fine,” he’d said when they’d told him the night before. Then he’d kind of hugged her and invited them over for dinner.
So very awkward.
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The doorbell rang one more time, and Alexa fastened her kimono before running to the living room.
“I’m not ready,” she blurted to Dante as soon as she opened the door.
His eyes raked over her appreciatively. “I can see that. And I think I’m kind of happy about it.”
She laughed and let him walk inside. As he passed, he hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss. It was a quick one, but it still sent goose bumps up and down her spine.
It had been more than a month since they’d started sleeping together, and it was still as if he was touching her for the first time.
She walked toward her stairs, but he caught her hand.
“Stop goofing around. We’re going to be late,” she said as he pulled her against him again. His arousal was hard against her thigh.
“Who’s goofing around? You’re the one who opened the door wearing only this kimono. I think someone is trying to seduce me.”
Heat flamed her cheeks. “I’m not trying to seduce you. I just finished doing my hair and makeup and was about to get dressed when you rang the bell.”
“Intentional or not, you started something, and now I intend to finish it. Bend over the couch.”
God, she was already turned on. Suddenly, it didn’t seem a big deal if they were a few minutes late for dinner.
She went to the couch and leaned over the armrest cushion. The position felt awkward, so she pulled two throw pillows over to support her arms. He moved behind her and pulled at the kimono’s sash and tugged until it was loose around her body. Her exposed nipples brushed against the couch, and they hardened in response.
“First, you’re going to pay for making me wait so long to taste you again. And then you’re going to get fucked for wearing that robe today, knowing it was going to drive me crazy. Put your arms behind you.”
Alexa moved her arms behind her and then maneuvered her body so her neck and the side of her head were resting comfortably on the pillows. She shuddered when she felt Dante tie her wrists together with the silken sash.
“Damn, your ass looks so good sticking up in the air like this.”
She yelped like a puppy when she felt a tight, wet pinch on one of her butt cheeks. Oh, God. He just bit her ass. The sting went away when he kissed the spot right after. It felt so good. But not as good as when his tongue laved one long lick along the seam of her exposed pussy.
“Oh, yes.”
“Are you ready for your punishment, you naughty girl?”
“Yes,” she breathed again.
Slap.
The sensation of Dante’s spanking made her thighs quiver. He’d barely touched her, and the orgasm was already building.
“Now your ass is nice and pink. Let’s see if we can get your pussy the same color.”
Dante’s fingers tapped against her outer lips. It wasn’t as hard as the slap on her ass, but it wasn’t soft, either. Her belly tightened, and her breaths came in gasps.
“Do you like that, Alexa? Do you like me making your pussy so wet and swollen?”
“Ah, ah, ah,” she murmured as she bit down on the pillow. Her climax was coming.
“Don’t you dare come yet, you naughty girl,” he rasped. “You don’t come until I’m inside you.”
Her entire body was shaking. She squeezed her vaginal muscles in an attempt to delay the impending orgasm. Behind her, she heard Dante fumbling with his belt buckle and then the tear of the condom wrapper. He always kept them handy when he was with her.
“Hurry,” she gasped. “Please hurry.”
The orgasm hit as soon as he sank into her.
A little while later, she was still shaky on her feet. He’d fucked her thoroughly over the couch and then again in her bed. She’d already called Daisy to let her know they were running about an hour behind.
Alexa finished reapplying her makeup in the bathroom and then walked out to meet Dante in the living room.
“Zip me up, please,” she said and turned around.
He stilled behind her before leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Thank you for earlier. I’m going to be hard all night thinking of what we did on your couch.”
She smiled as he pulled the zipper up. Then he grabbed her arms and turned her back around.
His own smile was big and bright as he looked into her eyes.
“What?” she asked.
“What?” he responded.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shrugged. “No reason. I just want to feast my eyes on you in this moment and remember how gorgeous you look after I’ve been inside you. It reminds me that you’re mine.”
She met his lips for a deep kiss. He always tasted so good. It was addictive.
“God, I love kissing you,” he murmured into her mouth. “I could do this every day for the rest of my life.”
The random statement set off the usual warning bells, and she pulled away to break the kiss.
Dante arched his eyebrow.
“Don’t fall in love with me,” she blurted out.
He looked at her quizzically again. “Why would you say that?”
“Because this is supposed to be…”
When he didn’t chime in with his usual response of “casual,” anxiety squeezed at her chest. And when he looked at the floor instead of her, dread welled up in her gut. “What’s going on with you?”
Seconds passed before he finally met her eyes again. He gave her a quick smile that did nothing to quell her uneasiness.
“Nothing,” he told her. “It’s getting late. We better take off.”
…
Although Dante loved Alexa’s food, Brandon was no amateur when it came to cooking up a delicious dinner. He’d grilled carne asada and vegetables and served them with homemade guacamole and Spanish rice.
Dante had his fair share and then some. He’d never felt so full and content. It had been quite the night.
“Dante, please tell my brother that I am perfectly capable of babysitting their kid. Didn’t I do a good job with Gomez?”
“Uh, didn’t he break his hip on your watch, sis?” Brandon teased.
Alexa hissed. “That’s so not fair. You know that wasn’t my fault. Tell him, Dante.”
He laughed. “She did a great job taking care of Gomez. I’m sure she will be the best babysitting aunt ever.”
“Fine. She can babysit. But there’s going to be a rule about not having boys over when you do it,” he joked.
“Except for Dante, of course,” Daisy chimed in.
Dante smiled and looked over at Alexa to see if the comment had bothered her. It didn’t seem like it, judging by the way she laughed. It was nice that Daisy believed they would still be together when the baby came. He’d wondered if Alexa would have said differently after her warning earlier.
It had come out the blue.
Honestly, he hadn’t even thought about love until she’d mentioned it. And although he didn’t say anything to her, it had bothered him that she still wanted to label what they were doing as casual. Sooner or later, they had to have a real conversation about where they were headed. In the meantime, he’d focus on these moments with her. He tuned back in to the conversation surrounding Brandon’s Miami project.
“So your new manager seems like a godsend,” Alexa told her brother.
He nodded and took a sip of his wine before answering. “He is. He’s already taken over so many things that I’m going to cancel my trip next week. I don’t plan on going back until after the baby is born.”
“Yes, we all love Mauricio here,” Daisy said with a laugh.
“Speaking of Mauricio, he sent over the blueprints for the kitchen. I told him you’d take a look and give us some feedback on the layout.”
“Sure. I can look now if you’ve got them,” Alexa said.
Brandon nodded and told her to follow him to his home office. Dante offered to help Daisy clean up the table.
“I’m so happy you two are together,” she to
ld him as they packed away the leftovers. “Is it serious?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes I think so and sometimes I’m not sure. We’re both not the most trusting people, so it’s been a wary dance, trying to figure out what we’re doing.”
“She’s been hurt before, so that’s why she’s so gun-shy about commitment. But I can tell you mean something to her.”
That surprised him. “You can? How?”
“Because you’re here.”
He nodded and gave her a genuine smile. He was just about to ask her what Brandon had said about the two of them when Alexa walked back into the kitchen. Her brother followed.
He could tell by their stunned faces that something was very wrong.
“What happened?” he asked.
Alexa walked up to him and handed him her phone. “I just got a Google alert about myself. After what happened with Brandon and Daisy earlier this year with the tabloids, I set one up so I’d get a notification whenever something about me was posted online.”
“And?” Daisy asked.
“Press play,” she told Dante.
He looked down at the phone and hit the arrow button. A video clip began playing, and right away he recognized Alexa. She was wearing the black dress from the night she went to jail, and she was standing in a kitchen.
“You’re going to be sorry for betraying me this time,” he heard Alexa say on the clip.
The clip froze on her face. She looked so angry. So vindictive.
“Oh my God,” Alexa cried. “This is bad, isn’t it?”
Daisy rushed to her side and gave her a hug. “It’s not that bad. It just shows what happened in the kitchen. It doesn’t prove that you broke those bottles on purpose.”
“Daisy’s right. It doesn’t change anything,” Dante told her.
“But what if there’s more? What if there’s footage that shows me swinging my purse but doesn’t show Nick grabbing it? What if this is their smoking gun and they’ve just been holding onto it until the perfect time? It can’t be a coincidence that this is posted just a few days before we begin depositions.”
Although she voiced the very concerns that were going through his head, Dante refused to let her know that.