“He can’t arrest you for dating his daughter, Tate, and I’m just one person working three jobs, I can’t keep an eye on you twenty-four seven. It takes two to tango.”
“Were you abducted by pod people in the last twenty-four hours?”
“No. I just don’t like that pumped-up piece of plastic telling you what you can and can’t do because she’s a jealous idiot who has no idea what the fuck she’s talking about.”
He obviously had no response to that, because he just stared open-mouthed, much like I had the day before when the bitch had clocked me one. I’d never been a rule breaker. I wasn’t prim and proper by any stretch of the imagination, and I was bringing Tate up with the same attitude my parents had with the two of us. We were given a certain amount of freedom no one else had, on the basis that we were honest with them and never lied. For them, it meant they knew where we were and what we were doing. It gave us the confidence to talk to them about things most people would never talk to their parents about, and there was always open dialogue.
I couldn’t lie, it got pretty weird talking to Tate about his sex life at times, but I could live with that. As long as he didn’t lie to me, we were going to be okay. I was giving him a chance to be honest, even if I wasn’t necessarily going to like it, and more to the point, even if it meant everything I did was under a microscope. It wasn’t like being a good girl had ever really done me any favors in life – just an overhang of debt, a four figured mortgage and a teenage boy dependent on me.
He didn’t say much as I drove him to school in the car that Drew had repaired and delivered back to me, as promised, but the smile Tate flashed me when he greeted Sloane with a kiss in front of me was priceless. I would take the fist again if I got to see that. No one was going to tell him who he could and couldn’t see.
By the time I pulled up at the hut, all the bravado I’d been feeling was long gone. Once again I stood outside the doors, staring at the skull as though it held all the answers, but it did nothing but confuse me further. I had an idea what it meant to every man inside this building. It was a way of life, a brotherhood, and it represented safety and a family of their own making. Most of these men lived by the morals and scruples they had set for one another, and when you took the time to really sit back and look at it, it was a beautiful thing. You just had to look past some of the things – the things that were unavoidable when you were in the thick of it and invisible to them.
I’d barely made it through the gate when the door was pushed open and Kenny stuck his head out. The moment he saw me, the rest of him followed, his smile bright as he revealed two mugs in his hand and offered me one that advertised a motorcycle parts company.
“Two sugars and a brief introduction to milk, that right?”
“You remembered. Thanks, Kenny.”
He nodded to a bench that was bathed in sunlight, and though I knew I should probably get in there and start working, the kiss of the sun was too appealing to turn down the offer. The moment I sat on the table, I pulled my legs up close and curled my hands around the mug.
“Gotta tell you, Hanagan, you sure know how to cause trouble.”
Closing my eyes and lifting my face to the sun, I smiled. I was anything but trouble until I met this group of misfits. I wasn’t going to tell him that, though.
“Since when was I inducted into the last name basis club?”
“Third time here, you’ve earned it. Don’t mean you get to keep it though.”
I rolled my eyes and sipped the coffee, almost gagging at the taste of it. It was definitely an acquired taste, and I wasn’t quite there yet. If allowed, I was going to try and set up the timer on their coffee pot so I could have a decent cup when I got here in a morning, because the slop they were serving… there was only one word for it. Nasty.
“So, what have you boys cooked up for me today?”
“You’re asking the wrong guy. I don’t call the shots, I just make sure they’re executed.”
“So you’re telling me everyone’s still asleep?”
“Pretty much.”
“I shouldn’t be surprised. How about we wake them up with some good, old fashioned biscuits and sausage gravy?”
“You can do that?”
“If I go to the store, sure.”
“You kidding? It gets fucking expensive cooking for this many men. Write a list and I’ll go. That way you can see if there’s anything you need in the kitchen. It hasn’t been used in a while.”
“Isn’t that beneath you?” I asked, taking a sip of coffee and regretting it immediately.
“We all pull our weight around here, including me. You’re doing something nice, feeding a bunch of assholes who can’t make toast between them. Full bellies make for good attitudes. You’ll see.”
Hopping from the bench and disappearing inside, Kenny came back out with his confident swagger, the chains on his belt announcing his arrival before his boots clomped on the wood of the bench and he produced a pad and pen.
“You sure about this?”
“It’s food, Hanagan. Not a gold-plated jock strap.”
He was gone the moment the list was finished, while I stayed where I was on the bench with a fresh cup of coffee. I actually didn’t mind the peace of sitting outside. The birds had started singing hours ago, but their enthusiasm grew the higher the sun crawled into the sky. It was peaceful other than that. There was no stirring from inside the hut, and I doubted there would be until I started cooking.
There was one thing guaranteed to get Tate out of bed on the weekends and that was the smell of bacon. I just hoped these boys woke up in a better mood. The thought of that many men in a piss poor frame of mind wasn’t appealing at all.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Drew
It took me over an hour to figure out how to set my old alarm, last night. I didn't have a phone yet and had no intention of picking one up anytime soon. Five years was a long time to have gotten behind with technology. I really didn't want to have to ask Kenny or Deeks for lessons in digit dialing. I was proud in more ways than one. When I finally got the alarm working, I’d done some cool-down stretches up against the walls of my room, then pretty much collapsed in a heap on top of my comforter – stomach down, face planted and muscles resting.
I’d done enough of this training back in the day to know that in order for me to have any hope of walking for the rest of the week, I was going to have to get up at the crack of dawn and run the aches out of my legs nice and early. It was all about consistency. It was all about momentum. Once you started back on that train, you could only take so many stops. You could only sit down when it was absolutely necessary, and you could only allow yourself so much in the way of sleep.
I hadn’t heard anyone up and about in the hut when I’d thrown on my running gear and slipped out of the back door. I knew that if Slater, Harry or Deeks saw me, they’d want to know where the hell I was going on my own again, and they’d start to worry. As a collective, we didn’t make a habit of spending much time alone, and I knew that all they were seeing of me at the moment was my back as I continued to find reasons and excuses to walk away.
They didn’t understand how much I needed to breathe.
Even though the sun was out, and I knew it would only be a small matter of time before my thick sweat pants and even thicker hoodie got too much for me, I threw up the hood and pulled it tight under my chin. The more sweat my body produced, the quicker I’d get in shape. It was boxing training basics. Pour out the excess fat, build up what’s left of the muscles. For every step I took against the concrete, I could hear Pete’s voice cheering me on or giving me tips on how to improve my technique.
Elbows up, fists to chest. Push from the calves; don’t put too much weight on the balls of your feet. You ain’t a fucking ballerina, Drew. This isn’t a dance studio; this is the streets.
I didn’t really have any idea how much time had passed when I finally took the turn down the road where the yard sat, but I could take a
guess that it was still way too early for the whiskey and the beer to have worked its way out of the other brothers’ bloodstreams just yet. I was covered in sweat, rubbing my brows, lips and chin constantly with the forearms of my top as I turned through the gates and kept my head down. It was only when I lifted my hands to finally bring down my hood that I saw a female body sitting on the bench outside, looking like she was waiting for some kind of cabana boy to come and serve her a cocktail and hand her a cold towel.
Ayda.
I tried to catch my breath and slow the heaving of my chest while I stood there. For the first time since I laid eyes on her, she looked at peace. Her lids were half closed and her chin was angled towards the sunlight as she took a single second for herself, away from the rest of the world. And I couldn’t help but wonder if she found it as hard to breathe her way through life as much as I did.
My mouth was dry and desperate for water, but all I could do was stand there watching her, somehow finding my own kind of calm, just from witnessing hers. It was only when I licked my lips to try and gain some movement and my mouth fell open again that I saw her slowly begin to turn to face me.
Our eyes met and we stared at each other for just a second before a smile curved her lips and she sat up straight, dusting her hands off on her jeans and grabbing two coffee cups. “Good morning. I didn’t realize anyone else was up.”
My hands fell to my waist, my body still struggling to pull in enough air as I took a few steps forward on shaky legs. Every muscle in my body was begging for me to go stretch it out, but I couldn’t. I had more important business to deal with. Glancing at the cups in her hands, I raised a brow before redirecting my gaze right at her and dragging my bottom lip through my teeth.
“Using my yard as a place to have breakfast dates now?”
“Dates?” She looked down at her hands in surprise and back up at me with a relaxed smile. “Oh, no. Kenny was the only one up and we had a coffee while we were plotting breakfast for you guys. If that’s okay with you?”
“Kenny? First of all, Kenny is never up first. He doesn’t drink coffee before noon and he hates breakfast, unless it's served in a shot glass.” I kept my voice low and quiet, hoping she understood the hint that I was trying to give her, even though I had no idea why I felt the need to get involved in their shit at all.
“Then why–?” She cut herself off, her eyes rolling. “I’m so stupid. That’s not… I mean to say, I’m not…” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip and shook her head as she swung the mugs in her hands.
“A cock tease?” I smirked, my brow still raised.
“I should get to work,” she responded, all hint of her smile gone as she tucked her hair behind her ear, only to think better of it and let it fall forward.
It was then that I saw the mark upon her face. Everything Deeks had told me yesterday came rushing back and I felt an odd, misplaced anger start to rise inside of me. Closing the gap from where I was, I headed over to the bench and towered over her. So much time had passed since I’d been around anyone and had to show compassion or any kind of gentleness. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I had any of that shit left in me at all, but that didn’t stop me from raising a hand to her face and slowly pushing her chin up with my finger.
“Deeks told me what happened yesterday,” I said softly as I guided her face from side to side and inspected the damage.
She attempted to evade my inspection with a turn of her head, but my hand made sure she stayed in place, leaving only her eyes to dart off to the side. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
“You know, I heard somewhere that fine was chick code for I’m anything but fine.” My finger and thumb slid around her chin, holding her still enough so I could try and force her to look at me without causing her any pain. “I might be your typical asshole, but I’m sorry that happened to you because of me. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”
“Fine means exactly that, and this wasn’t because of anybody but that plastic psycho bitch. She even convinced the chief to stop his daughter from seeing my brother. They’re now fucking in the Chandler’s hayloft,” she said, her eyes sparkling with humor.
“There are worse places, I suppose,” I answered through a sigh. Slowly releasing my hold on her face, I shoved both my hands into my pockets and looked back out around the yard. “Maisey Sutton won’t be coming near you again, whether you say you’re fine or not. If Howard Sutton does, I want to hear about it, you get me?” My eyes flashed back to hers. While she was smiling and pretending all this was okay, I knew she could see that I thought it was anything but. I could also see her questioning why I seemed to care about all of this so much. “Like I said, you’re like an asset to me now. I protect what’s mine.”
“So you’re trusting me to report to you, rather than… how did Maisey say it? Put a guard dog on me?”
“What’s for breakfast?” I asked, ignoring where she was going with that.
Her mouth fell open as though she was going to argue. For a moment I thought she would, but she apparently considered how many favors running her mouth had done her to date and reconsidered. “Biscuits and sausage gravy, bacon on the side. They’re great for hangovers.”
Stepping back, I gave her a small nod and a tight smile, deciding it was best to make my escape there and then before she changed her mind and went back to discuss the whole guard dog business. “I’ll be in my office for the morning. I have work to do. I’m sure Kenny will keep you amused for the day.”
Raising her eyebrows, she practically glared at me for the Kenny comment. Apparently, she didn’t find it funny at all. “I’ll bring you breakfast and coffee when it’s ready and you can tell me what you’d like me to take care of. Although I’m sure your heathens have plenty of laundry and mess for me to pick up.”
She pushed up off the bench and emptied the last of the coffee from the mugs before strolling toward the door, flashing one last lingering look over her shoulder at the sun.
Huffing out a small laugh, I called out as she walked away. “Ayda…”
She stopped, but didn’t turn. It was as though she was sucking in the breath and fortitude to turn around. When she did, it was a smooth twist on the balls of her feet, her ankles crossed as the mugs clinked together. “Yeah?”
“Don’t forget to knock this time.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ayda
Drew’s comment had made me smile. So much that I found myself working diligently with a curl to my lips. I’d just made a double brew of coffee when Kenny turned up with a trunk full of groceries on top of the list I’d given him. It took almost as long to unload them as it did to get the biscuits started.
The kitchen was a full industrial set up – stainless steel appliances, a walk in fridge, which, with absolutely no surprise, held beer rather than food. It was practically unused aside from that and I wondered why. There had to be at least one of the men and women in this space that could read a recipe and cook.
When I suggested that to Kenny, however, all I got was a hyena’s laugh and a snort. No explanation whatsoever.
I was more adept at cooking microwave burritos, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t cook. It was more that I didn’t have time to. Well, that and the fact that it brought back memories of cooking with my mom when I was a kid. It was what we did when I got home from school. She and I would make Daddy his dinner. I made a mean chicken fried steak, and the best mashed potato in the state of Texas, according to the ribbon I had from the State Fair.
I’d fallen into a routine the moment I had the ingredients set out. It was a little different cooking for a small army rather than a family of four, but it made it more interesting. I didn’t think I’d ever used a full bag of flour in one go before.
Kenny, as much as he claimed to be helping, was just in the way. After the conversation I’d had with Drew about it, I felt a slight discomfort at having him hanging around as much as he was. He was a sweet kid, but if that was where he thought this fri
endship of ours was going, he was really very wrong and sadly disillusioned. I didn’t have time for any of that, and even if I had, he was too young and not my type at all.
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I was in my element. I was comfortable, and that maternal side of me that appeared the moment I discovered I was the only parent my brother was going to have, was satisfied by taking care of this bunch of misfits. I think every one of them stuck their head in through the door at some point, asking what the hell was going on before becoming complacent at the mention of food. Apparently offering food made these mean dogs cuddly pooches. Not that I would ever have said that out loud.
I held some back for Drew before dropping a huge pot of sausage gravy, biscuits and bacon on a pre covered pool table. Kenny had actually had the foresight to buy paper plates and plastic cutlery, saving me some work, and while the boys ate, I rushed around with coffee, orange juice and milk, filling up glasses and taking care of them all until they were reclined and holding their bellies. It was the most polite most of them had been to me since I started paying my debt, and I felt as though I’d accomplished something.
“I knew you were a keeper, kid,” Deeks said, offering a wink as he swiped his finger across the plate and scooped up the last of the gravy on it.
“Deeks, you’re gonna have people talking.”
“No, darlin’,” one of the guys next to him said, his skin barely visible under all the tattoos, but his smile changed him completely. “We all know that Deeks and food mean true love.”
“Fuck off, Stones.”
The tattooed man gave him the finger and a flashed grin before clasping his hands behind his head and sliding low in his chair, propping his feet up on the table. A knock of my hand on his heavy combat boots and he dropped them to the floor with a sheepish smile, making Deeks chuckle behind me.
“Does anyone need anything?” I asked, looking around, but it was a pointless question. A new calm had fallen over them. The normally rowdy conversation was now at a lull as they chatted among themselves.
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