by Ann Hunter
Alex crossed her arms. It was none of Hillary’s business that Alex had spent more time running from place to place than going to school. She hated school. She’d run from that too.
Hillary shook her head, chiming in brightly. "Your birthday's coming up. Anything special you want?"
The only special thing Alex wanted was to continue working around North Oak. Even getting pushed around by high strung racehorses was better than the school of hard knocks. Better than any school. Why couldn’t she just stay around here? She was learning stuff. Hillary even let her join her on her rounds sometimes. Who needed all that crummy school stuff anyway? What Laura wanted didn’t really matter to Alex, but she listened to her.
"Oh, yeah. I want a big party with all my friends from school. Boys included."
Hillary sighed. "You know how I feel about that."
"Mom." Laura looked her dead on. "You said no dating til I'm sixteen. I have patiently waited, watching all of my friends date for years, without a complaint to you. I'm, like, the only girl at school who doesn't have a boyfriend."
"Now I know that's not true, because Brooke—"
"Brooke wouldn't get a boyfriend if she wanted one."
Hillary tilted her head to one side. "And why not? She's a nice girl."
"Brooke has a one track mind and it goes six furlongs in a minute-ten flat."
Alex snorted. So true.
Hillary crossed her arms. She had this scowl on her face Alex wasn't sure what to make of. "Alright," Hillary finally conceded. "You're right. You won't hear that often, so don't get too used to it."
Laura threw a look to Alex, almost gloating.
Hillary got backed to work fixing breakfast for the family. "You can have the party you want, but I feel it's important you invite Brooke and Alex too." She nodded toward Alex.
Alex opened her mouth to say no way, but Laura cut her off.
"Wouldn't have it any other way." Laura grinned.
Alex rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair, not entirely sure how she felt about this big party with strangers. She jittered in her chair thinking back to the swarm of people at the Breeders Cup and how awful it was to keep bumping in to random people.
"Are you ready for your driving test?" Alex asked. Laura had been talking about it for weeks.
"I think so. I take it right after school."
Alex rubbed her thumb against a scratch on the table. "Nervous?"
"Seriously?"
"Like pneumonia."
Laura grimaced. "A little. Yeah." She wriggled in her chair as Alex stared at her. "Okay, yes. Completely."
Alex didn't know why, but a smugness crawled into her and twisted her mouth.
Hillary crossed to Laura and kissed her on the forehead, sliding a plate with a giant bread thing toward her. "You'll do great. Now hurry and finish breakfast or you'll be late for school. Big day ahead."
Alex peered into the deep indentation of what she assumed was the Dutch Baby that Hillary slid toward her as well, and was met with the aroma of fresh strawberry jam and powdered sugar.
Laura bolted down her food and dashed out the door, grabbing her backpack on the way out. "Love you."
"Love you too," Hillary called back. She turned to Alex. "Now, about that little reading and math problem."
Alex groaned mid-chew and flopped her head against the table. What was sweet and warm in her mouth became bland. Her reply was muffled. "I don't have a reading and math problem. I have a why the hell do you care so much problem."
"I think we should find you a tutor."
Alex peeked, face scrunched. Really? “How ‘bout no.”
"You can't run around North Oak all day forever. Having you down in the school district as self study won’t cut it, and even if I had time to homeschool you, there are lessons you can't learn around the farm. You have to go out in the world and learn them on your own."
"Well that sounds shi— "
Hillary scowled, her face written with warning.
"Oh, come on," Alex whined. "Pretend I have that swearing disease. What's it called? Tourist. Yeah, that's it. I have Tourist disease."
Hillary dropped into a chair across from of her. "First of all it's called Tourettes. Secondly, you don't have it. You're just rude."
Alex rolled her eyes.
"Also I don't joke about diseases," Hillary said. "And neither should you."
"I been out in the world, Doc. It's not my favorite place."
"But it's made you who you are."
Who was she? All she’d known was what she was to Ashley, but Ashley wasn’t here anymore. Just a big, ugly hole in her heart where she used to be. Alex wasn’t even sure where she saw herself in a few years. On a horse, maybe? If she was still at North Oak, would she still feel lost within it? Or would she have figured out where she fit in?
Alex crossed her arms and tucked her lip, a mess deep down inside. "You mean fuuuuuu—" She caught herself when Hillary's expression hardened again. "— dged up."
"You've got some hard edges, I won't lie about that. There's only two months of school left, so I don’t see a point in enrolling you right now. I don't think the district is ready for all this…" Hillary outlined Alex in an airy box pattern. "Alexness anyway."
Alex pursed her lips sourly. "You just framed all of me."
"With good reason. I think you need to start in the fall. It will give you more time to learn if you're as behind as I think you are. A tutor would be good for you."
Alex huffed as she pictured some crotchety white-haired, purse-weilding, mothball-smelling, denture-sucking lady with a ruler and a will to smack her with it, overshadowing her while Alex torturously scrawled out equations that made no sense. Who used math anyway?
Hillary pushed herself out of her seat. "Enjoy your freedom while you can, kiddo. I envy you."
THE MARSHMALLOW
Brooke sidled into her geometry class seat and yanked her homework from her backpack. She pulled the pencil resting in the curve of her ear and made sure she'd gotten all the questions right. Her lead paused at a blank answer.
She tapped the eraser against the problem and looked around. How did she miss one? The teacher stepped up to the board and started scrawling out warm up questions.
Brooke bit into the barrel of the pencil, staring down the problem. As she was about to start working out the answer, someone bumped her elbow. Brooke grimaced and turned to chide the offender until she saw who it was.
Carol Daves, a seventh grader who easily whittled off just about any math problem, had sat beside her. Brooke brightened a little and leaned toward her. "Hey, can you help me with this?"
Brooke had worked with her before on larger projects. Carol had even tutored her once or twice. Brooke did okay at math, but she was much better at statistics (like handicapping races) than all this Proof and Cartesian stuff.
Carol looked around as though she expected someone to jump up behind her. Brooke thought she dressed funny, like a modern hippie— minus the tie-dye. The kind of girl that braided feathers into her wavy walnut hair, and sported white gypsy blouses with leather belts she probably wove herself. Carol squirmed anxiously.
"It'll only take a minute," Brooke whispered.
Carol nodded and leaned toward her. They had it worked out just before their teacher started talking.
Brooke gave Carol an appreciative smile, but the other girl just glanced nervously about the room. Brooke tucked her pencil behind her ear again until instruction finished, and wondered what had Carol so antsy.
***
The front door of the Showmans home burst open just as dinner was getting to smell really good. Alex jumped, as the door banging the wall echoed a memory of a gunshot.
"I got my license!" Laura crowed.
"I shall pray for the people of Hamlin," Cade sniggered as he trailed in behind her.
Laura rolled her eyes. "Daaaaaad."
He smirked. "What?"
Hillary placed a pot she’d finished using in the dr
ying rack and wiped her hands. "We should celebrate. Anything special you want to do?"
"Joyriding," Alex muttered.
Laura looked between her and Cade. "Why are neither of you on my side?"
"Maybe it's because I let you drive home." Cade chucked his keys on the counter, exchanging a look with Alex.
She smirked. If she had to feel like she connected to any of them, it was Cade. He wasn’t nosy like Hillary.
Laura turned to her mother. "I think I just wanna hit the lake tonight with Brooke and Crazy here." She hiked a thumb in Alex's direction. "It's been ages since Brooke and I had a bonfire."
Alex’s eyebrows met. She didn’t think she was the crazy one. Laura was the bigger airhead.
Hillary folded her arms and leaned back against the sink, looking at Cade. "What do you think, dear?"
"I don't have a problem with it. Nothing wrong with a good ol' fashioned bonfire." He turned to Laura in his chair at the dining table. "But I need to run over to Joe's real quick. You'll have to wait until I get back, alright?"
Laura sighed. "Okay. Will you take us down to Boyds Branch, or are we walkin'?"
"I think some fresh air would be good for you girls," he replied. "Just stay together and take my phone." Cade tossed it to her.
Alex saw Laura turn it on and shove it into her pocket.
"I think we'll be okay. We've got Alex with us."
Alex's brow creased. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Hillary glowered at Laura. "It doesn't mean anything."
Alex recalled sobbing into Brooke’s shoulder at the hotel they’d stayed at for the Breeders Cup last October, after confessing she’d shot DeGelder. Out of the blue, another set of arms wrapped around the both of them and damp, blonde hair leaned against their heads. “I don’t know what’s going on,” Laura had said, “but I never miss a chance for a group hug.”
Brooke rolled her eyes and half-laughed. “You’re such a dork, Laura.” She turned her head to see her friend still in a towel, shoulders wet and bare. “And this just got really awkward.”
Alex wiped her cheek with the back of her wrist and let out a long breath. “What happens now?”
“Well, North and Pop are tied up at the track being the second day of the Breeders Cup races. So telling them will have to wait.”
“Tell them what?” Laura asked.
“So we should probably see if Dr. Showman is around and tell her,” Brooke concluded.
Laura lifted her head. “What are we telling them?”
Brooke looked at her. “Oh, nothing. Alex shot someone is all.”
Laura’s eyes went as wide as saucers. Her breath audibly caught. She blinked, then swallowed, stammering, “Awesome.”
Alex winced. “Yeah.”
Alex returned to the present and cocked her head, feeling kind of betrayed. "You mean the murder? That I shot someone."
Cade joined in. "Laura, she doesn't need to be reminded of that."
Alex held up a hand. "If corn pop here wants to talk about what happened…."
Laura shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
Alex leaned forward. "Then how did you mean it?"
"I just figured you could probably handle a situation like that. You know.. if, like, someone came up to us."
"You thought wrong."
"Look, I'm really sorry. Will you still come with us tonight?"
Alex glowered. Hillary and Cade looked between the girls.
"No one will blame you if you say no, sport," Cade said.
"I'll make it up to you." Laura pressed her hands together like a prayer. "Promise."
Alex sighed. "It better be awesome. Like this fire thing better turn into a person and do a song and dance or something. Cuz standing by some fire on a beach sounds kinda lame."
"Please," Laura said with some level of I can't believe you would say that. "You've obviously forgotten already how anything Brooke and I do is completely not lame."
"Please," Alex said back with the same tone. "Everything you two do is lame."
"And yet you do it with them," Cade chuckled.
Alex mumbled, "Like I have a choice.”
"Soooo…" Laura smiled sweetly. "You're coming?"
Alex scrunched up her face. It kind of stung to say it, "Yes."
Brooke placed a bowl of spaghetti before her grandfather at the dinner table. He picked up a mismatched fork and spoon and loaded them with noodles.
Brooke sat across from him. "You wanna say grace, Pop?"
Joe paused, a rounded mound of spaghetti half-way in his open mouth. He shoved it in and shook his head. "Nope."
Brooke folded her hands on the table with a sigh and bowed her head. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Thank you, Lord for what we have. Please bless Pop. Keep him strong. Help me be strong, too… and please watch Alex. She needs all the help she can get. Amen.
Brooke picked up her fork and wound the noodles around it. Her grandfather smacked his mouth as he chewed. Brooke tried not to cringe, but it was darn near impossible when he chided, "Spaghetti's cold."
No matter how hot she served their meals, she knew it was always cold to her grandfather. If it didn't incinerate your mouth, it was cold. Not everyone wants it to burn their face off, Pop. "Sorry 'bout that," she said quietly.
"Did you take any meatballs?"
How long had they lived together and he still hadn’t noticed she was vegetarian? "I gave them all to you."
"Well how y'gonna keep any muscle on ya?"
"I'm fine, Pop. Let me worry about me."
"Pah," he said with a full mouth. "You worry enough for the both of us." Joe lifted his cup to his mouth, swallowed the contents, then stared into the empty depths.
"I know what you're gonna say," Brooke murmured. "But the doctor said y'gotta cut back on the booze and watch what you eat."
Joe blew out a disgruntled breath that made his lips bat against one another.
Brooke took another bite of her supper. "I kinda need you around, old man. So you can bet that I'm gonna make sure you do what the doctor tells you, cuz I know you won't do it for yourself."
"Just make sure to spread my ashes over the training track when I kick the bucket. That way the horses can finally walk all over me."
Brooke rolled her eyes. "You're gonna be around a long time."
A knock fell on the front door, and Brooke scooted back from the table. “I’ll get it.”
Cade entered when she opened the door. He wore a zippered coat, but it bulged in front. Reaching under, he pulled out a ziploc bag of soft, chewy, chocolate chip cookies, and a sack of caramel filled chocolate bars. “Hide these. Laura wants to go out to the beach tonight. I thought you girls might like an early birthday surprise.”
He nodded to Brooke’s grandfather. “Evening, Joe.”
Joe grunted in response, slurping up noodles.
Cade smiled at Brooke. “Articulate as always, I see.”
Brooke rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeahhhhh.”
“You game for my surprise?”
Brooke took the goodies from him. “Always.”
Cade clapped her on the shoulder. “Have fun.” He leaned to wave at Joe, but was ignored. “I’ll, uh, see myself out.” He winked at Brooke.
Brooke shut the door behind him and set the treats down on a small table by the entrance. She and Joe resumed eating in silence, save for the clink of silverware against the saucey dishes.
Joe leaned back in his chair, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "North wants to start breaking the yearlings and getting them ready for the September sales. I need you to be my eyes and ears. Y'know, keep your nose to the ground if you see anything really special. Think you can handle a string of your own this season?"
Is he serious? Brooke stared at him, keeping her enthusiasm bridled. She gave him a simple nod.
"I'll get you a list in the morning. In fact, why don't you have the girl help you. If she's here to stay, she'll need to learn a thing or two about hors
e flesh. About our ways."
Our ways. It sounded funny, like there was any other way of life. Brooke tried to imagine what it would be like to live in a world where she wasn't surrounded by horses all the time. Where eating, sleeping, breathing horse racing wasn't normal. Her brain blanked, grinding to a jarring halt. Out there in this thought was only empty space.
"And what was said here doesn't leave the table."
Brooke blinked, coming back to reality, and realizing she'd missed him saying something important. It wouldn't be the first time he told her about drama going on behind the scenes of the farm, about things she really shouldn't know about.
Joe pushed his empty bowl toward her, because cooking and cleaning was "women's work" as he called it, and rose. "Good talk."
He tossed his napkin down on the table, filled a mug with coffee and whiskey near the kitchen sink, and took the evening paper back to the den.
Alex stood on the shore of Kentucky Lake near that Boyds Branch thing Laura had mentioned, which was really more of an offshoot of the lake into a big creek. It had only taken them an hour to walk there, and where they were now seemed like a secret spot Laura and Brooke visited fairly often.
"So, exactly how long is ages?" Alex asked
Brooke and Laura gathered leaves and twigs to shove into a big, blue barrel.
"What do you mean?" asked Brooke.
"Laura said it's been ages since you had a bonfire."
Brooke’s head whipped around to Laura. "You told her it's been ages?"
"It has!" Laura said back. "Like, October."
"Okay.” Brooke shrugged. “I guess six months qualifies as ages."
Before she got to North Oak, Alex guessed. She’d never been with them, and had stumbled on to the farm mid-October, before authorities caught up with her.
Brooke passed a lighter to Alex and nodded toward the barrel. "You wanna do the honors?"
"I guess." Alex flicked the lighter into life and ignited the barrel's contents.
When it got going pretty good, Brooke and Laura tossed their arms in the air and hollered.
So weird, Alex shook her head. And they wanted her to be one of them?
Laura ripped into a sack of puffy white something or others and pulled one out. Whatever it was, it was the size of her fist.