“Anyone who doubts your beauty is a blind lackwit.”
His whisker rough cheek slid against the smooth skin of my face, sending more tingles coursing through me, this time awakening the buried passions within a woman’s heart. Heat burned my skin, my blood, my soul.
I yearned for him to wrap his arms around me, to pull me into his embrace and kiss me as a woman was meant to be kissed. Instead, he leaned back, his gaze searing me with a matching heat in his eyes.
He released me.
My hand dropped to my side, tingling from his touch.
Within my brain a heavy fog had descended, one filled with physical sensations and desires. I couldn’t think through all the things that were happening to my body, so I did the only thing I knew was right, safe.
I ran from the room and away from him.
Chapter Six
I spent two weeks avoiding Sir Nicholas. Or at least, avoiding him in isolation. I kept close to my brother’s presence and if not Trevor, then Mrs. Norris was my constant companion. I could not bring myself to be alone with Sir Nicholas for fear of what I might do.
My thoughts toward him had always run along the lines of worship. He was a family legend. The hero of Morley Manor. I respected and admired him long before I could see and speak with him.
Now that I had such abilities, my imagination blossomed with the many possibilities his presence could portray.
I’d never been in love with a man. I’d never felt the rapid beating of my heart in response to another’s presence. Now, my heart pulsed erratically whenever Sir Nicholas was near. My skin flushed with fever-like symptoms and I had difficulty breathing. But I was not ill. My reactions to him confused me. What was it my body strained to tell me?
It couldn’t be…
Could I be in love with him?
In love with a ghost.
No. I cared for him a great deal, but not love. The mere idea of it was laughable if not worse. For what could I do? There was no possibility of a relationship between us. Once I discovered the location of his bones, his spirit would be released, and he would pass into whatever realm the spirits of the dead traveled after life had passed. I would never see him or speak or touch him again.
The thought was tragic. My heart ached. But I had no choice.
My brother’s fate remained in my hands, as well as that of Sir Nicholas’s soul. I had to do what was best for them both.
So, I forced myself to search for his bones when I wanted nothing to do with finding them.
And during the course of our search, Nicholas continued to offer his friendship and guidance in our search. He had grown an odd friendship of sorts with Trevor as he spoke through me.
When I say that he spoke through me, I do not mean possession, but rather he spoke, and I repeated his words to my brother so they could converse. It amazed me how he had won over my brother’s affection.
Even as Nicholas might be considered arrogant, he was also amenable. He got on easily enough with Trevor, despite my brother’s lack of visualizing Nicholas. Nicholas had a side to him that the people in the history books had seen firsthand, the caring, nurturing master who risked life and limb to save the people under his care.
Despite being a rogue, it was easy enough to fall in love with the man.
“How goes it, dear Trevor, my boy? Discover anything of interest in this muck?” Nicholas’s deep rumbling voice boomed as he entered the conservatory in the back of the manor house. My brother and I had taken to digging random holes there, thinking perhaps whoever had buried Nicholas’s bones had thought to keep them near the house.
I clenched my fist around the shovel’s handle and glared at my brother. “Is it possible that you truly do not hear the man?”
“What?” Trevor lifted his chin, his brows furrowing as he glanced in my direction.
“His bellowing is loud enough to wake the dead.”
Trevor smiled. “Hello, Sir Nicholas.”
“Good day to you, my lad.” Nicholas bent to pat my brother’s head, but his hand slid through Trevor’s brown hair through to his chin.
“Stop that,” I said, shuddering. “It looks horrendous.”
“I’m doing no harm to the boy.”
I shook my head and continued shoveling.
“Did you find anything?”
“Other than some broken pieces of a flowerpot, nothing.” I paused my shoveling to glance at Nicholas. “I’m not certain how long we can continue. My father’s creditors continue to send letters. It won’t be long. Soon, they’ll be at the door demanding payment in person.”
“I’m surprised they haven’t arrived already,” Trevor muttered from where he sat on the ground scooping dirt into a pail to deposit outside.
“Can you think of any other place we might search? A place we have not yet tried?” I swiped at the sweat that beaded on my brow.
Nicholas frowned, then squinted his eyes deep in thought. A moment later, he shrugged his shoulders and lifted his hands in defeat.
I sighed and bent back to work, digging several more holes before Trevor suggested we cease for the day. The light was growing dim. He’d had enough.
I urged him to find some rest, assuring him that I would return the tools to the stables where we found them. After he left the room, I continued to shovel.
“Alice.” Nicholas’s soft voice murmured from behind my left ear. “It’s time to stop.”
I shook my head.
“Alice,” he repeated.
“I’ll continue a little while longer. Why don’t you see how Trevor is faring? You could knock on the wall to communicate with him. Or some such ghostly thing of that nature.”
His hand pressed on my shoulder. I lifted my chin, looking at his solemn features. Exhaustion had sapped my strength, and I did not have the willpower to shrug him off.
“It’s time to end this, Alice.”
“A little more,” I said. “I promise.”
“I mean…” His grip on my arm tightened, keeping me from returning to my work. “I don’t think you should continue searching. It’s an impossible task. One that I’m sorry to say may take years to accomplish.”
I stared into his eyes, trying to mask the despair that crept into my heart.
“I have no choice.”
“There must be another way.”
Before I could explain further, Mrs. Norris interrupted us with news of a gentleman caller. Lord Livingston was here to see me.
My eyes widened, and a chill swept through my body. I cleared my throat and said, “Please inform Lord Livingston that I will join him in the library momentarily.”
Mrs. Norris nodded and left.
I looked down at my torn and dirt-stained dress. “Well, this won’t do.”
“You’re not going to clean up for that pompous jackanapes.” Nicholas’s voice followed me as I left the conservatory and hurried to my room.
“Of course, I am. I’m not going to greet a visitor at Morley Manor looking like this. I may stoop to traveling to graveyards to summons ghosts in the dark of an All Hallows’ Eve, but I will not greet a visitor looking like I just came from a night of grave digging.”
Nicholas chuckled. “Not even if it is the truth?”
I ignored him. He followed me to my room, but when I arrived, I spun in the doorway to face him.
“Allow me some privacy, if you please.”
Nicholas sighed. “Very well. I’ll go see that our visitor is situated comfortably while he waits.”
I nodded and closed the door, half expecting him to barge in despite my request. Surprisingly, he did not, so I hurriedly dressed into fresh clothes and wiped the dirt and grime from my face and fingers with the cold water I had left in the bowl by my bed this morning.
When I had finished scrubbing my face until it glowed and arranged my hair to present a decent visage, I descended to the library to meet my guest.
Lord Livingston stood by the window, gazing into the garden. He held a glass of bourbon that h
e must have discovered buried in my father’s cabinet.
Nicholas stood beside the man, unseen, his arms folded across his chest as he glared. He took note of my presence first, nodded and waved his hand.
“The man makes himself right at home. He found the last of your father’s bourbon with no help from me.”
I didn’t react to Nicholas as Lord Livingston turned just at that moment. A smile curved his lips, the heavy mustache lifting at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes crinkled with delight.
“Miss Worthington,” he said, setting the glass on a table so he could greet me at the door. “How lovely to see you again.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Lord Livingston.” I nodded in his direction and waved my hand at the cushioned chairs which faced the fireplace. After we were both seated, I folded my hands on my lap and forced a smile to my lips. “What brings you to Morley Manor?”
“Straight to business? Very well.” He laughed and placed his hands on his knees while he sat, leaning forward while he spoke. “If you may allow me to speak frankly?”
I nodded.
“I understand your financial situation is not as it should be. Your father left you and your brother with a considerable amount of debt.”
I lowered my gaze to my lap, not wanting to admit the truth of my circumstances, but it was pointless to do so. I was certain half the ton knew of my financial situation. It was difficult to squash rumor once it began.
“I dislike telling you that your father owed me quite a sum of money.”
My gaze flew from my lap to his.
He raised his hands in a calming gesture. “Take ease. I do not come here to resolve that debt. Instead, I wish to offer you a way of relinquishing what he owed to me as well as the rest of your debt. You must be aware, I am sure, that I am in search of a wife…”
Chapter Seven
My insides shriveled within me. I felt my body wilting and withering, even as I kept my back straight and my chin raised. It was as Lady Gladys had predicted. She had told me of Lord Livingston’s intentions. My conversation with her ran through my mind as I fought to focus on Lord Livingston’s words, but dread interfered.
“The scoundrel,” Nicholas growled. I hadn’t seen his approach as he came to stand beside me. “Do not listen to him, Alice.”
“If you consent to be my bride, I assure you I will see that all of your father’s debts are paid and your brother will attend the best schools available to him. When he comes of age, Trevor will take his place as Lord of Morley Manor. I will see to it that society welcomes him with open arms.”
“I’ve heard you discuss the atrocities this man has committed in his past. Do not agree to this, Alice. You will not live to see your brother become a man.” Instead of Nicholas raising his voice in his typical booming nature, he spoke softly, which sent a trickle of fear through me. I glanced at him, hoping Lord Livingston did not wonder why my gaze was cast into the air.
Nicholas’s face was tight with anger. He glared at the man seated across from me. If he had been alive, I was certain my ghostly friend would have escorted our visitor from my home in a most urgent manner.
“I may have no other choice,” I whispered to Nicholas. At the sound of desperation in my voice, he turned to me.
He knelt by my chair so he could look me in the eye.
“Never mind my words from moments ago,” Nicholas said, recalling that he had mentioned in the conservatory that I might not find his remains or the jewels I needed so desperately to pay our debts. He had suggested seeking alternatives. At the time, I had refused to think on it, but what if he was right?
What if we never found the jewels?
What then?
I returned my gaze to Lord Livingston. My skin shivered as I witnessed the hunger in his eyes. He looked at me as if I were a tender morsel to devour.
While the same look from Nicholas sent a fire of desire burning through me, I felt ill with Lord Livingston’s attentions upon me.
“You are most generous,” I said, licking my suddenly dry lips.
“Alice, don’t do this.” Nicholas’s voice continued from the arm of my chair. He placed a warm hand on my back, a gesture of reassurance. “We will find another way.”
My mind was in a flurry of what-ifs. What if we didn’t find the jewels? How would I pay the debt then?
What if I married Lord Livingston? Would he be true to his word?
What if I didn’t survive the marriage? His first three wives had not. As rumor had it, they died gruesomely.
What if I didn’t marry him? I’d never find another man to offer such a generous proposal. He was willing to take on another man’s debt and pay for another man’s son, to help him stand in society and take on the responsibilities of such a position.
I would never find another such offer.
And from the look of surety on the man’s face, he knew it, too.
My chest constricted until all breath was devoid from my body. The moment had come. I was backed into a corner not of my own making. My decision in this moment would affect both the lives of myself and Trevor, but also Mrs. Norris and the other servants.
And what of Nicholas?
My gaze turned to him.
What would happen to Nicholas if I married? If I never found his body and his soul remained trapped forever in Morley Manor? He’d already suffered such agonizing loneliness within these walls until I summoned him. If I could not free him from the prison of these walls, then how could I abandon him? The only voice he could converse with, the only person he was able to touch.
I opened my mouth to speak, but I uttered no words.
With sudden knowledge, as if struck by lightning, I knew I could never leave Nicholas to such a fate. I knew with sudden insight as my heart hammered wildly within my chest that I could not bear for Nicholas to continue such an existence alone.
Suddenly, I knew… I understood what my body had been trying to tell me these last few weeks in his presence.
I loved Nicholas.
I could not bear to leave him to such a fate.
Turning back to Lord Livingston, I licked my lips and said, “I’m flattered you would suggest such a proposition. I fear I am not worthy of your attentions.”
“Nonsense,” Lord Livingston said with a quick shake of his head. “Your father and I were schoolmates. We grew up together. How could I leave my dear friend’s daughter in such dire circumstances as this?”
“Indeed,” I said. “You are most kind. But my brother and I will manage.”
“Miss Worthington…” Lord Livingston leaned nearer. He reached for my hand, taking it from my lap. “If you think this will be a loveless marriage, I wish to put such fears to rest. I have greatly admired your simple beauty of face and figure. I promise to be a dutiful husband to you.”
Nausea bubbled within me. I tried to keep the smile plastered to my face so as not to offend, but inside I cringed with the thought of him touching me as a husband would.
This man was as ancient as my father. He’d married and buried three wives. As he caressed my hand, my skin shivered as I recalled the stories I was not meant to hear on the nights my father was deep in his cups. He’d talked of rumors circulating about Lord Livingston and his wives. He had brutalized them. Enough that they died from his attentions.
And he promised to do the same to me?
“Remove your hands from her.” Nicholas raised his voice as he stood to face the man.
Of course, he could not hear him. Lord Livingston went on, continuing to stroke the back of my hand as he spoke of the ways he would make a good husband.
I had difficulty listening as Nicholas talked over the man, drowning out the sound of his voice.
“He is despicable,” Nicholas said. “I’ve heard of this man from your father’s own mouth. Your father spoke of him often, and none of it was good. You cannot marry him, Alice.”
The sounds of both men’s voices speaking in a continuous flow was too much for me. I stoo
d abruptly, wanting to put my hands to my ears to block out the sounds of their voices, but I resisted knowing such a sight would appall my visitor. He wouldn’t comprehend that I had another speaking in my ear.
“I must ask you to leave, my lord.”
Lord Livingston’s eyebrows rose. He stood, straightening his vest. I backed away from both he and Nicholas until the shelves of a bookcase halted me. I remained there, watching both with wide eyes.
“Alice, I apologize if I’ve frightened you,” Nicholas said, recognizing my distress. “But you need to know the truth of such a fiend. He will surely kill you if you marry him.”
Lord Livingston smiled indulgently, ignorant of Nicholas’s voice of wisdom and the knowledge of my father’s opinions.
“Miss Worthington, I understand you are still grief stricken from your father’s passing. I will allow such a time for mourning the loss of one so dear.” As he spoke, he stepped slowly forward, one step at a time until he stood directly before me.
Nicholas matched him step for step.
“I must caution you, however,” Lord Livingston’s voice lowered to an intimate level as he gazed into my eyes. “I am an impatient man. I have…” He paused and his gaze swept over my body. It was as if the man touched me with his hands. I cringed visibly. I couldn’t hide my revulsion, but it didn’t dissuade him from continuing. “Interests that must be seen to. Marriage, I think, would benefit us both.”
“That’s out of the question.” I straightened my back, taking a deep breath, knowing that this had to be addressed now, once and for all. “I kindly thank you for the offer, but I must decline.”
Lord Livingston’s lips curled upward, his mustache lifting at an angle. “Do not be foolish, Miss Worthington. Think over my offer.”
He moved so quickly I didn’t realize my hand was within his again until he drew my wrist to his face where he kissed my fingertips.
I gasped.
He must have taken this as a sign of encouragement, for he leaned forward to place his lips upon mine. I jerked my head back but inadvertently slammed it into the bookcase behind me.
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