What must he be feeling? To witness his body being uncovered, centuries after his death. To see the decay that had happened over time. Where there was once flesh, blood and muscle, there was only dusty bone remaining.
I shivered.
It must be unbearable. But Nicholas revealed not a moment of uneasiness. He simply stood, scowling with his arms folded across his chest.
After Trevor finished pulling everything from within the wall, he set the bones respectfully in a wooden box that he had fetched from somewhere within the manor. It was lined with soft cloth and decorated with a simple floral design. It must have belonged to my mother, but I could not remember seeing it previously.
My mind was in a state of numbness.
Disbelief. Regret.
As much as I had yearned for the day when we uncovered the jewels, indeed, there were many times when I feared we might never discover them, now that the moment had come, I felt nothing but dread and remorse.
Because with finding the jewels, I would have to say goodbye forever to Nicholas.
Tears burned beneath my eyelids, but I chased them away. It would benefit no one to see my tears. In fact, it would only make matters worse.
Trevor laid out the jewels on a table near the sofa, examining each with awe. There were rubies, sapphires and diamonds. Necklaces and rings of gold and silver etched with emeralds. Jewels that had been hidden away for centuries, now sparkled and glistened in the light of day.
“This will save Morley Manor,” Trevor said. He turned toward me, his smile widening proudly on his face. “At last, we can restore our home and pay Father’s debts. You never need fear the thought of marrying for money.”
I nodded.
My movement caught Nicholas’s eye. His scowl deepened as he gazed at me. I raised my chin, forcing the tears to remain hidden behind my eyes.
“Did you know the jewels were hidden with your remains?”
He shook his head. “After I died, my spirit wandered aimlessly for some time before I became aware of my circumstances. I did not understand I was dead, you see. It was an… unsettling time adjusting to the fact that I was a spirit.” He shook his head again. “I knew not where my body was located, nor what became of the jewels. I don’t even know who placed me here or why.”
I believed him. He had seemed genuinely shocked to see the jewels with his body.
“Why did you tell me you knew where the jewels were located?”
“I didn’t, if you recall.” He narrowed his eyes. “I asked if you’d believe me if I told you I didn’t know where they were located, and you said no.”
“You let me believe you knew their location.”
“You assumed I knew, just as so many before you. You and Trevor were not the first to search for the jewels. For centuries, the story bandied about that I hid them, but I did not.”
“What were you going to do when we found your remains?”
“I would have helped you search for the jewels myself. I am a man of honor, Alice. I keep my promises.”
I sighed. “As for promises, we made a pact, you and I.” I paused when I detected a tremor in my voice. After clearing my throat, I continued, “We found your remains, and in a way, you provided the jewels to us. I promised to bury your body in the graveyard where it was meant to be so your spirit can at last be at rest.”
We stared at one another for a long time, neither uttering a word or sound. My heart pounded. I clasped my fingers beneath my skirt, hoping he would not see the knuckles turn white with clenching. I felt my nails biting into the skin of my palms, drawing blood. The pain did nothing to take away from the ache in my heart.
I didn’t want to bury him. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I wanted him to remain at my side.
Forever.
But I made a promise to him. And I could not be so selfish as to break it. His spirit had wandered ill at ease for hundreds of years. Now, at last, he had a chance to be at peace. I could not be the one to take that from him.
I had to say goodbye.
“You did promise me.” Nicholas spoke at last, his deep voice whispering the words. His gaze broke with mine to turn to the floor where he stared at the carpet so intensely, I feared the scowl on his face might be permanent.
After a long moment, he returned his gaze to my face. There was something else in his eyes. A glimmer, a sparkle, a tear? Or was it hope?
“You would never go back on your word, Alice? For anything?”
Did he fear after all these years, now that he was so close to finding everlasting peace that I would fail him? That I would betray him?
No. I would never fail him. I loved him. I would never allow him to continue this baleful existence when I could give him rest.
“I would never break my vow. Nothing could stop me from keeping my word. I am a woman of honor, Sir Nicholas.”
“That you are,” he said, his voice rumbling, a shadow of a proud smile dancing on his lips.
***
Before the sun descended that evening, Nicholas, Trevor and myself at the edge of an empty grave.
We had secured the jewels in a safe location within Morley Manor and at first light we would travel to London to use them to pay our father’s debts, thereby restoring Morley Manor to my brother’s rightful name.
After we stored the jewels, we took our shovels and ventured forth to the graveyard where we spent the next hour digging a hole in front of Sir Nicholas’s carved gravestone.
The man himself stood beside us, again with his arms crossed broodingly over his chest, scowling as we proceeded. I took his grim countenance as evidence that he was perhaps remiss to say goodbye to us. After all, he’d been an invisible member of our household since Trevor and I were both babes. He must have grown attached to us as we had to the legend of him.
After we finished digging, I gripped the shovel’s handle as I watched Trevor drag the wooden box containing Sir Nicholas’s to the grave and place it gently into the hole.
My lips tightened as behind my eyelids there was a continual burn of tears threatening to spill. I forced them back, but in doing so my throat clenched and my chest tightened.
How was I going to do it? Where would I find the strength to say goodbye?
Trevor emerged from the hole and took his shovel, about to proceed with burying it when I heard my voice shout, “Stop.”
He turned to me, his eyebrows raised with silent question.
My gaze flicked from Nicholas to my brother to that dreadful hole and then back again.
There was hope in Nicholas’s eyes. Again, I knew what I must do, even if I didn’t want to do it.
“We should say some words, should we not?”
Something dimmed in Nicholas’s eyes, but I couldn’t tell what it was, for he cast his gaze to the ground.
“Right,” Trevor said, resting his hands on the shovel. “It’s only appropriate. This is a burial, after all.”
Then both men looked to me.
My mouth grew dry with the realization that they expected me to be the one to say those words.
I looked again to Nicholas, my heart aching with terrible longing.
“We have the odd fortune to be able to speak to the deceased directly to say our farewell. I know no one else who can say such at any other burial.” I paused, licking my lips. Nicholas had uncrossed his arms, letting his hands hang at his sides, his fingers clenching and unclenching. I took it as a sign of his nervousness. Perhaps he thought I might change my mind now that the moment had come?
I would not disappoint my hero.
“Sir Nicholas, it has been a great pleasure and privilege to speak with you, to get to know you for these last few weeks, to share our lives with you, both unseen and seen. It was an honor to meet you, the Hero of Morley Manor, a man of great importance, honor, grace and kindness. You have proved that the words written about you were sadly lacking in their portrayal of your goodness.”
I paused again, forcing my gaze from him. The intensity in his ey
es was distracting. The heat and desire I saw flicker in those blue depths made me yearn for him to wrap his arms around me again, to hold me in his embrace, to whisper soft words into my ear. I felt protected and safe with him. Beautiful and desired. Wanted and needed. I wished to feel that again, forever, and more.
I bit my lip but felt the first tingle of tears escape my eyelids despite my urge to hold them back.
“You have shown yourself to be a hero beyond measure and I am grateful for your protection and aid in our time of need. May your spirit rest in peace, Sir Nicholas, and may you be reunited with your loved ones.”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him again. Instead, I took the shovel and lifted dirt from the ground, ready to toss it onto the box.
His hand grasped the shovel’s handle, stopping me. My surprised gaze flashed to his.
“Alice…” He whispered my name and in that one word I heard his longing, desire, respect and love. The tears I had been so valiantly holding back now trickled down my cheeks. “Don’t do this, Alice. I release you of your promise to me. Please, Alice. I don’t want to go.”
I sucked in my breath at his words, then he reached for my face, cupping my cheek as he gently kissed me.
“Alice,” he breathed. “I want to stay with you. I wish to remain by your side. I do not want to leave you behind. I love you, Alice.”
Tears flowed like a river down my cheeks. I squeezed my eyes shut while I grasped his shirt with one hand, the handle of the shovel in the other. I cried my love into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me while I sobbed.
I had yearned for him to speak such words to me, but I couldn’t let him dissuade me.
I had to do this for him.
Because I loved him.
“I love you, too.” I spoke into his shirt and felt him kiss my forehead before I tenderly pushed him from me. Surprise flashed in his face when our eyes met. “I love you too much to let you linger here, Nicholas. Even for me.”
“Alice…”
I shook my head. “What would become of you, Nicholas? If I let you stay, you will continue to wander the halls of Morley Manor. You’ll be at my side, that is true, and I will never leave this place. I will stay with you until the day I die, but what becomes of you then, Nicholas?”
My voice broke, and my tears continued. He said nothing, just continued to hold my arm, half embracing me, half stepping away.
“What will become of your spirit after I am gone? What if I die before I can bury you properly? I want you to stay with me forever, but can I take that chance?”
Emotions flashed across Nicholas’s face, his lips trembled, and his blue eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“You are right,” he said, his voice thick. “But I would stay anyway.”
“And I would have you.” I grabbed a handful of his shirt again and drew him close to me. “Are you willing to take the chance of existing forever as a ghost, haunting this house for the rest of time just to be with me?”
“Yes,” he said it immediately, his answer without thought or question. “Yes, I would. Alice, you are worth that and more.”
My conviction in burying him swayed and the possibilities of sharing my future with him danced in my mind until he continued to speak.
“But you are right,” he said with a warm resolute tone touching his deep voice. “You have wisdom and compassion few others share. You would save my soul with the sacrifice of your own.”
He leaned into me, touching my face again. He kissed my tears before wiping them from my cheeks.
“Alice, my love.” He sighed, a sad smile curving his lips. “You are too good for me.”
I shook my head.
“Do not deny it,” he chastised. “Your thoughts are for me while I stand here selfishly considering my own heart only. I am a fool, Alice.”
“Nicholas…”
“Shh…,” he murmured. “You must bury my bones, my love. Send me away. For I could not bear to witness one day your eventual death. I would grow mad with sorrow after your passing. My loneliness for you would become more than I can bear. Bury me, Alice. But I want you do to something more for me, my sweet.”
“Anything.” I stared into his warm, blue eyes and felt the love I saw there shine into my heart.
“Live a good life, Alice. Do not mourn me. Do not hide alone in Morley Manor. Live your life, my love. Experience all the pleasures that are to be had in this existence. Live and be happy. Only then may I rest peacefully.”
I shook my head, but he stopped me with another kiss.
“Do this for me,” he whispered against my lips. “Do not make my soul uneasy with worry for you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could block the pain that was ripping a hole in my chest. But I could not refuse him.
He was right.
As was I.
But I would not tell him the truth. Even as I nodded my consent, I knew in my heart that I could never find another love like his, I would never live a life that he wished. I might try, one day, far into the future, but for now I knew I would remain in Morley Manor where I could wrap the memory of him around me as I continued my sad existence without him.
“I love you, Alice. Always remember.”
I nodded once more, and we shared one last kiss. Then he stepped away. With a determined nod, he said, “Do it.”
Tears blurred my vision as I scooped a shovelful of dirt and released it onto the box. I heard the dirt crumble onto the wooden surface, and then I looked back at Nicholas.
He was gone.
Chapter Eleven
I couldn’t continue. I collapsed onto the ground and sobbed my tears into the grass and dirt and dead leaves beneath me. I felt Trevor’s hands patting my back, offering me solace. I shook my head and thrust the shovel at him.
“Finish it,” I said. “Please, I cannot.”
“Of course.”
Trevor took the shovel. I listened as he shoveled dirt onto the box, filling the grave. It took some time for him to finish.
A chill had crept into the graveyard after the sun descended. Neither of us had brought lanterns, not thinking it would take us so long to complete our task.
When he finished, Trevor touched my arm and helped me to my feet. He held one arm around my shoulders, leading me back to Morley Manor.
I do not remember our journey home. All that remained in my mind was my last image of Nicholas. His words echoed repeatedly in my brain.
I cried again as I imagined my life without him.
Trevor led me to my bedchamber. He drew me a hot bath, taking several trips to fill the wooden tub, and when he finished, he ordered me to wash. At first, I simply stared at the water, but soon my hands remembered washing my body. I did it without thinking since my thoughts were consumed with Nicholas and my broken heart.
After I bathed, I dressed for slumber. I recall Trevor adding fuel to the fire in the hearth, chasing away the chill that had grown in the room.
He helped me into bed, drew blankets up to my chin, placed a tender kiss upon my forehead and wished me goodnight.
I lay forever in the dim darkness, the light of the fire slowly fading with each hour.
It seemed I would never sleep, but soon after tossing the blankets aside I felt the heavy press of slumber weighing upon me, dragging me into dreamless depths when suddenly I heard his voice.
“Alice.”
I was dreaming. I knew I must be, but I smiled all the same, grateful that I could dream of him still.
“Alice, are you awake?”
“Of course not.” But my eyes flickered open, and I gazed upon Sir Nicholas Weatherby, barely able to make out his blond hair and blue eyes in the dim light.
He grinned as he leaned onto my mattress, his hand sliding up my torso to reach my breast. He slipped onto the bed with me, pressing his body beside me, then dipping his head to capture my lips with his.
For a dream, the sensations he stirred within me were most profound. My skin
tingled with each caress and soon my soft sighs turned to whimpers of need. I touched him, slipping his shirt off his chest to run my fingers across the broad expanse of skin there.
He groaned, the sound vibrating into my body.
Then his hands abandoned my breast and slid, his fingers splayed across my belly until he reached my womanhood. He played with the curls there, his fingers taunting me, teasing me with his nearness to my core where I wanted, needed to feel him.
Finally, he dipped his fingers within me. I arched my back as he thrust his thick fingers deep. I grasped his shoulders, my fingers pressing into the flesh I felt there. I closed my eyes as his head fell to my breasts and he suckled me. The sensations he aroused spun me out of control.
I was gasping for breath when he moved quite suddenly. He spread my legs and replaced his fingers with his swollen cock, sinking his hard length deep within me.
I moaned his name as he thrust again and again, sending my heart and soul into a frenzy of passion until I reached that beautiful, heart-stopping peak and I screamed his name as my body convulsed around his.
He spilled his seed within me, thrusting hard with each spasm as my body milked his.
At last, he collapsed beside me, his arm cradling me into his warm embrace. I let my fingers skim across his chest, touching the hairs that sprouted there.
“This was a wonderful dream.” I nestled my head onto his shoulder.
“Alice.” His body stiffened beneath me. “This is no dream.”
I lifted my head to stare into his blue eyes, recognizing the truth there just as the door to my chamber crashed open. I gasped, grabbing the blankets to cover my nakedness as my brother surged into the room, a candlestick and a revolver in each hand.
At the sight of me and Nicholas upon my bed, Trevor paled and drew up his arm, pointing the weapon at us.
“I heard you scream,” Trevor said, his eyes wide with panic. “Unhand my sister, you scoundrel!”
Nicholas raised his arms.
“He can see you?” I glanced from Nicholas to Trevor as comprehension began to surface in my passion-numbed brain. I turned to my brother. “You can see him?”
A Cursed All Hallows' Eve Page 109