Her words sliced through him in many different ways. The word love was the same one in his head when he held her in his arms. When he was inside her it had felt like he had been with her before. Maybe they were both crazy. Especially, and this hurt the most, if he had continued the charade, she could have continued to love him at least until he left. That was the point to this whole explanation anyway. He thought she had a right to know he was going to have to leave.
“Wait, I can’t read your mind. I have wondered why every time I have tried. Then, as I was trying to believe in the magic, I thought maybe that was it or, at least, had something to do with it. How, Luca? How did you know I read minds? And, did you block me because you knew?”
“I didn’t block you. I guess you can’t read my mind because it works differently than yours, and because I am not truly a human anymore, even if my soul still resides in this body. I knew, because I was told in my debriefing before I was sent to you.”
***
When she didn’t respond, he sat back against his seat and adjusted himself to stare straight ahead. She couldn’t believe he was just going to lay back and relax like what he said was completely normal, and she was the crackpot he was going to kindly give time to figure it all out! Now is not the time for you to be so damn cocky, asshole! Kamillia tried to get a hold on the fury coursing through her.
There were moments when she had contemplated running from him, but where would she have gone? Into the woods behind this church where her grandfather had just told her last night that her parents had been murdered? Shivers shot down her spine, icy taps of a ghost. Her Poppie had asked her to let him protect her, and right now with these Mastema sending demons her way, or whatever the hell they did, his knowledge of all of this weird stuff had helped her. Regardless, with a moment of rare clarity these days, she at least thought muscles trumped having a sane mind. At least, since he was on her side. Did her grandfather truly know and believe this guy’s story? So, she had thought it wise to give herself more time to think and then maybe formulate a plan of escape, later, when it was safe, from this crazy man who thought he was immortal, dead even.
Yet, in all of this time they had spent together, she hadn’t perceived him as crazy. In fact, she more considered herself crazy for not really fearing him more. Instead, she still felt the unexplainable bond they had, the familiarity. Could he put a spell on her? The thought moved through her like ice in her veins.
She glanced over at him, studying his face, so handsome and chiseled. His skin tone did not appear pale like one of the undead. He looked healthy and vibrant with the warm tones of his perhaps Italian descent. Of course he does! He is alive, just crazy! And what does it say about you that you are not terrified of him?
He must have sensed her staring, because when he turned his head and opened his eyes, they not only looked alive, but the depths of the earthy color darkened with his concern. She did feel his love and his pain wash over her. Apprehension showed in the way he held his whole body, and she wanted to relieve him of it. But, she couldn’t just yet, because nothing out of her mouth would make sense.
“Are you okay? Do you need something?” The pain cracked his voice as it weighed on her heart.
“No, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” And, yet she couldn’t even will her gaze away from his.
He looked down when he spoke, “It is okay, I understand.” He laid his head back against his headrest again and closed his eyes.
A jagged pain sliced down the entire length of her. He really hurt, and she could not stand it. She felt almost obsessed to relieve him of it. He had been nothing but comforting, healing, and loving since she’d met him. How could a lunatic act so sane and display such acts of compassion to a total stranger? Her head started to hurt with his unfavorable spirit weighing on her, along with her still trying to read his thoughts despite the fact she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t believe that this man beside her, full of flesh, and, she presumed, blood, could be dead. There was no reality in it. Not even a little bit to grasp onto. Immortal and lived above the earth on a river made from the energy of what everyone was feeling and doing. It was insane, and yet, she still wanted to hold him and be held by him.
Without even knowing why, she reached out to take his hand. The that voltage formed when their flesh connected went straight through her, making her wet once again. As the ache settled in her stomach, she watched a smile form on his face.
“Are you saying you forgive me, or you believe me?”
“No, neither.” She yanked her hand back like he had burnt her. “I am sorry, I am so confused. I don’t believe a word you say, I don’t think. But, I wish I could. I wish there was some way for it to make sense, or for you to prove it to me. At the same time, I can feel that I am hurting you and it is killing me.”
“You can feel what I am feeling?”
“Yes, why? This makes no sense to you?” She let out an abrupt laugh.
“I guess it is your powers, you are a mindreader, after all.”
“No, that isn’t it. I have never sensed anyone’s emotions as I do yours, nor have I ever been so affected by them. Your pain is like it is my own, and I feel like I am suffocating under its weight. Why is that? I should be running from you screaming for the police to rescue me from a madman. And yet, I want you still.”
“I am glad you are not. I don’t think I can lose you, and yet…”
“And, yet what?”
“I might as well tell you that what I did, or rather allowed to happen between us, was wrong from the view of the Watchers, I think. Although, I must say I have searched my memory, and I find no mention of it, ever. But, it has to be wrong. I was sent here to protect you. Once you are safe and my job is done, I will have to return to The River of Light. I will never see you again. It wasn’t fair to you. It won’t be fair to you. Only, even knowing that, or knowing there may be repercussions for my actions, like losing my post at The River, which I guess could mean true death for me, I know, given the chance, I would do it again. To be with you was…”
“Was what?”
“It was…”
“Don’t start worrying about how things sound now! After all of the things you have said today, what could be so hard for you to say?”
“It was like coming home. It was the only time in my immortal life I felt love. I mean love for someone, like a man loves a woman instead of my unconditional love of mankind, which is kind of essential for my job.”
She couldn’t blink back the tears mirroring his. He is crazy, and I am crazy in love with a mad man who claims he is going to leave me. Just my luck. When she felt him touching her face to wipe away a tear, she felt physically sick to her stomach.
“Please, don’t touch me,” was all she could get out before her head started to throb from holding in the sobs threatening to overwhelm her. If he was supposed to provide her with positive energy, he was failing. There was none here between the two of them now.
Chapter Seven
By the time her grandfather returned Luca’s call, sheer exhaustion hit Kamillia once again. Her overactive mind remained challenged after Luca ended the call and told her that her grandfather had been unexpectedly detained. He’d been cryptic as to the reasons, but they were supposed to explore the church without him, let her feel it, let her see what she felt while in there, in touch with the magic of her ancestors, now that she was aware of it and all.
As soon as they walked through the doors, her breath caught in her throat as if she’d been hit with some invisible wall of energy. Luca grabbed her hand and held it firmly in his grip as she observed the beauty of the old building place. For a small, rural church, all white on the outside, the contrast of old, dark wood pews and freshly painted white walls were a stark contrast blended together by the bit of light that streamed in through its one stained glass window even on this cloudy day. Being in this room inexplicably made her body cry out for his again. Realizing once again where exactly she was, and how inappropriate such desi
res raging through her were in this holy place, Kamilla felt an overwhelming an immediate need for some fresh air. It has to be the magic, she justified, fighting back the heat of this need for him rushing through her and letting herself off the hook.
She wandered through the sanctuary in a daze, looking around her but not really seeing anything, more so feeling it, Luca following silently behind her. She said nothing, unsure if she felt more unsafe being with him or without him after all that had happened between them. It didn’t take long for her to figure out her answer. Flashes, like waking nightmares, began rushing uncontrollably through her mind. Suddenly, she could sense the negativity thick in the air. Maybe there was something to Luca’s whole energy grid, and she was getting more sensitive to it. Or, better yet, all his crazy talk had set her imagination into overdrive. If nothing else, he’d be good for her story, giving her all sorts of inspiration into world building.
She decided to write off the feelings of familiarity, given the fact she’d been brought here countless times as a kid, but the still explanation didn’t feel quite right. It wasn’t her familiarity, her memories. Well, they were but they weren’t. She couldn’t seem to explain it even to herself, but the almost déjà vu thing she had going on seemed to be getting stronger.
The closer they walked toward the pulpit, the more she felt watched. Her anger grew steadily, unsettling her more and more, until her body began to really ache from the stress of it all. Get it together, Kam. You can’t have a breakdown here with only him to save you. That’s it! I will just blame all of this weirdness on the nut walking beside me like a wounded puppy still on guard dog duty.
However, the underlying sinister energy permeated the ground beneath her feet and assaulted her from every angle. She could no longer debate the idea of certain places having a stagnation of negative energy. She felt it here, and the feelings were making her claustrophobic. It didn’t make sense. This was a church, a holy place, and one of good magic. At least, she assumed it should be, but her grandfather had mentioned those damn Mastema wanting to use it, or maybe using it. All she’d heard before began to blur in her memory.
She decided to keep her thoughts to herself, easy, really, since Luca had been graciously allowing her to remain silent as she absorbed her surroundings. Nevertheless, he glanced her way with more frequency. Stress had become the predominant emotion they shared between them.
Luca broke the silence with a heavy sigh. “I know you do not want me talking to you, but you are still my responsibility. I only need to know if you are okay. Are the feelings I am sensing from you anything more than just apprehension?” His voice was low and hushed, very unlike the one she had come to know so well in such a short time.
“Responsibility? That is all I am to you now?” She wanted to scream at herself for letting his words hurt her. She should be glad that was all she amounted to in this whackjob's mind.
“No. You know that is not true. I was just speaking of this moment. Right now, that is all I can be, no matter what I want.”
“Ahh. Never fear, Watcher, I am fine! Place just gives me the creeps for some reason. Today, anyway. Probably the company I am keeping.” She glared at him, immediately regretting the insulting words, although she could not make herself apologize. Something sinister lurked about these walls, like a predator waiting behind a building to take her. She was hurt and angry, wanting to lash out at anyone in her path, and Luca held the unfortunate position right now.
She tried to concentrate on at least taking in her surroundings. The dull light of the day still made all the colors in the windowpane glisten off the smooth walls. On a table in the middle of the pulpit sat a gold vase with freshly cut, vibrant pink flowers cascading over its top. Holding herself up by grabbing onto the top of a pew, she stood still and her heart felt like it stopped beating in turn.
A woman, who could have been her sister so familiar the resemblance, sat there, listening, while quietly working on a necklace in her lap. The image was smoky around the edges, but crystal-clear otherwise. Instinctively, Kamillia knew everything about this likeness of herself dressed in peasant clothing of some other time. While there were some minor physical differences between them, Kamillia knew this woman's body as if she had once lived in it. Somehow, she could feel everything the woman felt, hear every thought in her head. Relief swept over Kamilla and her spirits lifted just knowing this ghost-like counterpart was happy, in love with the one she made the necklace for. Kamillia and she were one, overlapping somehow, connected by thoughts and feelings. The image was strong one minute then faint the next, much like watching a television in a storm.
A moment of déjà vu hit her, as if she knew the place better than she knew her own home. She looked out the window then, to the open field that led to the woods. A small building flickered in and out of her field of vision. Somewhere in those woods stood a cabin, or had stood a cabin. She knew what the bedroom in it looked like: sparse with a lovely hand-sewn quilt on the bed. This room, the faint glimmer of her counterpart under a man slicked in sweat amidst their act of passion, made Kamillia feel the building of orgasm in her own wet sex.
Luca put his hands on her shoulders, and she broke into sobs at the relief she felt in having him there. Only, it was the relief of reunited lovers instead of the reassuring comfort from a protector. She blinked her eyes into focus, clearing the tears away that had been obscuring her vision, and saw the view for what it was: just a patch of grass lined with trees. As she fled out the back door, she couldn’t focus in on anything she actually saw. Everything around her blurred in and out of her current reality. She wanted to rush to find this cabin so she could find the necklace that had disappeared into the ether, and yet the desire edging on fear kept her frozen where she stood.
“Kamillia,” he spoke in a whisper into her hair.
Another flash started, and her ghost stood in that cabin putting the necklace on a man with love shining in her eyes. Relief to have the necklace back washed over Kamillia. Her gentleman friend turned toward her gripping the necklace in his masculine hand. A jolt of recognition boiled into a flood of heat and burned through her from head to toe as she recognized the man to be a ghost of Luca. She turned to the real Luca behind her, needing to be sure he was still there, too, because the vision she had of him was exact, not just a likeness.
“It’s you…” the tear rolling down over his right cheekbone brought her fully to the real time again. She noticed Luca's hands were actually shaking. She hadn’t before due to her own nerves. “Do you…”
A fleeting black shadow out of the corner of her eye caught her attention again.
She turned back to the woods where she saw her vision again, only to have the trees quickly fade away into another time as men in fifteenth century garb pulled her likeness through the doorway of that cabin. Suddenly Kamilla stood inside the cabin and gasped as the men threw her ghost toward her present form. This ghost of the past stumbled close to falling right at her feet, only to straighten up and meet her face to face. There were tears streaming down her doppelganger's face when Kamillia screamed. In a fraction of a second the ghostly body was thrust toward hers and in time with the force of the impact, she turned to bury her head into Luca’s shirt.
She felt them falling to the ground as one with his arms wrapped around her.
***
“Are you okay, Kamillia?” he asked, worried about her while at the same time wondering where his own response to this building came from. Her emotions had gone from pure, blissful love and joy, to fear and sadness in moments. He experienced each one of them with her. Some he could distinguish as hers, and some felt more familiar as if they were his own. That was just before something invisible to him had struck her and she'd turned into his arms. He’d been unprepared for being hit with his own feelings of fear and guilt crushing down on him. They had both crumpled to the ground, pushed by a sinister force. A pervasive evil hung all around them, layered from the past to the present. For inexplicable reasons, Luca su
ddenly felt more responsible for her and more in love with her than he had only moments before.
Kamilla only shook her head back and forth, trembling in his embrace.
“Kamillia, are you physically hurt in any way?” he inquired.
Kamillia shook her head the same way to answer again.
He scooped her up in his arms and stood in one swift movement. There was a huge amount of negativity surrounding her. He had been called to protect her. This trip to church had nothing to do with him. Only, once again the lines that separated them grew thinner.
As he attempted to make his way to the car, Kamillia crunched up into more of a ball in his arms, even curling her own arms in around herself. At the same time, a full frontal attack by a negative current hit him so strong that all he could see was the strong black cloud for a moment. He forced his way forward, and brought them to a run until they reached the vehicle.
Tucking her in and slamming the door, he ran to his side of the car and gunned the engine even before closing his door. He drove like a bat out of hell from the parking lot, not stopping, barely even breathing until he got her back to her house, carrying her from the car where she sat silent, in shock. Making his way to her room, he laid her on the bed and joined her there, putting his body beside hers, hoping it would help. Shaking his head at the way this woman made him feel so much more than just a physical attraction, he knew he could no longer blame his body. He was completely unable to break their connection.
As a Watcher, he had previously known love only through his ability to feel others feelings. He had witnessed the experience only second-hand. Yet, he knew with every fiber in him, magical or otherwise, he was in love with her. He just wished he knew why it was so familiar to him, like he had always loved her. Perplexing him further, he had not even considered love in his hundreds of years until her. The fact remained that the two of them together would be viewed as wrong in both of their realms.
A Cursed All Hallows' Eve Page 159