“Hey, Pete. It’s Cooper Mead in the penthouse. Sorry about this, and thank you for dealing so professionally with the situation, but you can send her up.”
* * *
“HE SAYS GO right up,” Pete told her, handing back her phone.
Lainey was not gracious in victory, taking a swig of her third beer before she took his offering and shoved it in her pocket. “Told you so, Mr. Nobody-Goes-Up-There-Without-Permission.”
The doorman remained unflappable, and simply directed her toward the bank of mirrored elevators with an impassive gaze. It was very unsatisfying, Lainey decided as she followed his directions through the swanky white marble foyer.
Cooper was standing at the elevator when the doors slid open.
“Please tell me you didn’t drive here.”
“I took an Uber. Because, as I said on the phone, I’ve had a couple of drinks. And I didn’t want any stupid reporters following me.”
Coop’s gaze snapped to hers as they stepped into his apartment. “Reporters are following you?”
Lainey shook her head, then grabbed his arm to steady herself. “Not yet. But they will be now because I had to walk through a whole swarm of them to get into your building. Darius texted to let me know that they’ve already invaded the bar, like bloodsucking leeches...but for information instead of blood. Like information-sucking leeches. I hate reporters. A lot. I think I need to sit down.”
“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea,” Coop agreed, grabbing the beer bottle from her grasp before helping her to the couch. “Let me get you some food.”
Lainey grabbed her phone out of her pocket and pulled up the familiar photo of Cooper, his face twisted in pure disgust as he stared at the Black Widow she’d given him, and the words: TFW YOU FIND OUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND COST THE US A GOLD MEDAL.
“Did you see this?” she asked, shoving it in his direction when he reappeared beside the couch. He traded her the phone for a box of fish-shaped crackers.
“What’s it say?” he asked.
“It says I’m a laughingstock. That’s what it says. Today is the worst.” She popped the box open and ate a handful of the little orange crackers. They were pretty good, and they settled her stomach. She should have eaten dinner, but hurt and anger had stolen her appetite.
“Well, not the worst. Like, the fourth worst, but still.”
He shot her a lopsided smile, like he didn’t think she was being serious or something. “Well, if this is only fourth worst, I can’t imagine how bad the worst was.”
He was trying to lighten the mood, but in her slightly inebriated state, Lainey was too deep into the well of self-pity to grab the life preserver.
“The worst was that day. The one that was on the TV. I made a fool of myself. I scored on my own goaltender! And then I run into Shelly, and she’s all, ‘Why don’t you come to the team reunions? It’s so good to see you,’ like everything’s cool! I mean, what’s wrong with her?”
Cooper sat down beside her and set her phone on the glass coffee table. “Maybe she’s moved on. Maybe the silver medal was enough for her.”
“But that’s worse, don’t you see? It’s worse if nobody cares about the thing that shaped me.” She couldn’t control the panic in her voice. “I let everyone down. My teammates. My country. My father.”
Cooper shook his head. “I’m sure your dad was proud of you no matter—”
“He told me he wasn’t. He came to Vancouver. I was so excited, because I’d finally gotten him to notice me. I’d finally made him proud. He hadn’t been to one of my games in years, not since Brett was born, but he got on a plane for this game.”
She laughed, because it was better than crying.
“And that’s what happened. I screwed up in the most massive way a hockey player can. And you know what he said to me after? He said I was a disgrace to the Sillinger name. That I embarrassed him. And then he walked out of my life for the second time.”
Lainey plunked the fish cracker box on the coffee table. Suddenly, she didn’t feel very hungry. Or very drunk, for that matter. Certainly not drunk enough to be reliving this memory, but she couldn’t make the words stop, now that they’d finally been let loose.
“I filed name change papers the day I got back. Harper is my mom’s maiden name. I was going to change Elaine, too, but my mom named me after her mom, and I couldn’t bring myself to break that connection with someone who actually loved me, so I left it and started going by Lainey instead.”
She shook her head at her own stupidity. “I thought I could outrun it, that if I could just change who I was, keep moving, that this part of my life would be over. No more reporters and no more footage of my screwup on a constant loop.”
“Jesus, Lainey. I wish to hell it worked that way. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” Cooper placed a hand on her back.
It was warm and reassuring. It made her feel safe, and it made her remember the way the world melted away when she was wrapped in his arms. The way her brain went quiet, focused on nothing but pleasure when his hard body drove into hers. She craved that mindless release that only he could give her. Lainey put the crackers on the table beside her phone. “Maybe you can make it better.” She slid closer to him, set her hand on his sweatpant-covered thigh.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“It’s not like things can get any worse.”
She leaned in closer. Moved her hand. “C’mon, Coop.” His muscles jerked when she made contact with his stiffening cock. “I want you to make me feel good, make me writhe for you.”
He jumped to his feet, and Lainey followed suit, anger clouding her vision and raising her voice. “God! What’s your problem! I’m asking you to fuck me, not murder a bunch of puppies!”
“What the hell did you expect? You come here all riled up, angry at the world and you think some dirty words are going to change the fact that a few hours ago you dumped me? You wouldn’t even let me hug you! And now you’re sad and you want to fuck and I’m supposed to say thank-you?”
It was like he’d slapped her. The sting of rejection made her skin burn.
“What, you want to ‘make love’?” She spat the words with derision. “Cuddle all night? Pretend to make this more than it is?”
“Jesus, Lainey. I’m thirty-two years old. That’s way too old to be dealing with this garbage. You had a shitty day. And your dad was an asshole, and I’m sorry. And I’m even more sorry that I’m indirectly responsible for bringing it all out in the open again. But you’re not drunk enough to believe this is going to solve anything.”
“I can’t believe you’re complaining that I want to escape with some hot sex.”
“I’m not eighteen anymore. Hot isn’t enough.” He raked a hand down his face. “What are we even doing here, Lainey? Are we fooling around? Are we more? For God’s sake, I haven’t even seen you naked yet!”
“That’s what this is about?” Lainey pulled off her shirt and dropped it to the floor.
Cooper’s shoulders slumped. “What are you doing?”
“I’m giving you what you want.” She reached behind her, undid her bra, dropped it to the floor. Her body was vibrating with anger by the time she’d wrestled the button of her jeans open and pushed the dark denim down. “You want me naked? I’m getting naked.”
She stepped out of her jeans, not even caring that she was in the middle of the least sexy, most mechanical striptease ever performed. She stumbled as she tried to get her skinny jeans over one ankle, then off the other. Emotions she couldn’t name made the blood thunder in her veins, burned the backs of her eyes, made her skin itch. Despite them, she shoved her underwear down to her knees and let gravity take care of the rest. “There you go, Coop. Your wish is my command.”
He didn’t look triumphant. He looked miserable, one hand clutching h
is hair, his other hand on his hip. He looked like a man surveying the rubble of his domain. And he was, she supposed, as cool air raised goose bumps on her skin. The heat of her rage had dissipated. Instead of a woman proving a point, she was now a petulant child, finished with her temper tantrum, breathing hard as she waited to see if it had worked.
Cooper pulled his hand from his hair, dragged it down his face. He shook his head as he stepped toward her. His voice was rough, but not with anger, as he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. The sudden shock of body heat against her flesh made her shiver. She didn’t mean to snuggle against the warm softness of his T-shirt, but he felt so good right then, strong and solid.
“Christ, Lainey. When you pull shit like this, it makes me hate how much I like you.”
Her voice was small with shame and hope. “You like me?”
“What the hell did you think this was all about?”
“I guess I just...you said you didn’t want to...that you didn’t want me. So I assumed...” Lainey swallowed. His rejection had been a slap shot in the gut. She wasn’t about to increase the agony by admitting how much it hurt.
“That I didn’t want you? Of course I want you! But not like this.” He pulled back a bit, and she tipped her head back to meet his eyes. “I’m not trying to ruin this thing. And I’m not asking you to put a name on it. I just think that, in addition to sex, it might be nice to have someone to talk to sometimes. Portland is...”
He trailed off, but she could think of a million ways to fill in the blank: scary, isolated, lonely.
Lainey didn’t know what to say. A minute ago, she’d been desperate for the distraction of sex. But this...standing naked in his arms as they discussed their future, it felt an awful lot like intimacy—and letting people in had never gone well for her. She dropped her gaze. Spoke into his chest, because that felt much safer than making eye contact. “You want us to be friends as well as fuck buddies?”
His chuckle was low, and his arms tightened around her. “Yeah. I guess that’s what I’m saying.”
“It would be nice to not eat dinner alone at the bar sometimes.”
“Then it’s settled. We’re having dinner tomorrow night. There’s a great Vietnamese place two blocks from here. And they deliver. But for now, I think we need to get you into bed. You need some sleep.”
She didn’t argue, because she was suddenly very tired. It had been a long day.
He swept her into his arms, and after a moment of alcohol-induced vertigo, his apartment righted itself and Lainey decided being held against his chest wasn’t the worst place to be. Actually, it made her feel a little better, and considering she was physically naked and emotionally decimated, she supposed that was really something.
Cooper gave her one of his T-shirts to sleep in and she crawled into his giant bed. The white sheets were soft against her skin, and she burrowed into them as he tucked her in.
“Get some sleep. I’m going to go get ready for bed.”
“Okay.” The word came out as a yawn and her eyes drifted shut.
Lainey thought she felt Cooper press a kiss to her forehead, but she wasn’t sure if it had actually happened or if she’d dreamed it.
12
WHEN COOPER WOKE up the next morning, his hand cradling Lainey’s breast and his erection pressed against the sweet curve of her ass, he spared a moment to be disgusted by the cliché...until Lainey gave a sleepy sigh and rocked back more snugly against his cock.
He gritted his teeth against the increase in pressure from her innocent movements. He needed to get the hell out of bed and into a cold shower, but when he made a move to disengage, her hand came up to cover his, anchoring it to her breast. Her nipple hardened under his palm, even as she circled her hips against him, leaving no doubt that he’d been mistaken. Her movements were neither sleep-induced, nor innocent.
Cooper breathed a sigh against the back of her neck, giving in to the instinct to rock his own hips, reveling in the hitch of her breath as they indulged in languid, wordless foreplay.
Something had shifted between them last night. She could claim they were nothing but fuck buddies all she wanted. It didn’t make it true. She mattered to him. Enough for him to fire his agent. And he mattered to her, too. Why else would she show up at his place, seeking comfort even though she blamed him—or at least his fame—for the pain she was trying to escape?
They’d crossed a relationship threshold that Cooper had never experienced. All he knew was that it felt different, having her in his arms this morning. Sweeter. More real.
His hand drifted down her belly until he reached the hem of the shirt he’d loaned her. It was too big, and hit her midthigh.
Her skin was soft and warm as he traced a line up her leg to her hip, the path unencumbered, since she’d shed her panties in his living room last night before he’d carried her to bed. The heat that had been building slowly through his veins surged with need. He concentrated on the glide of his fingers as he circled her navel, and worked his way back up to squeeze her breast.
With a hum of satisfaction, Lainey shed the T-shirt with as few moves as possible, revealing the delicate width of her back. Entranced, Cooper placed his lips against her shoulder, and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back to him, erasing the space that had been created when she’d disrobed.
Her breath was coming faster now, and their hips moved restlessly, seeking more than was available to them because of his own boxer briefs. Coop grabbed her hip, pushed it forward into the mattress so that Lainey lay on her stomach, her face still turned away from him, her breath coming in shallow pants that mirrored his own.
Cooper shucked his underwear and grabbed a condom from the drawer of the end table. He was desperate for her, but he used every ounce of willpower he had, tamping down the lust, forcing himself to continue the bittersweet torture of discovering her slowly.
Cooper traced the length of her spine with his thumb, watching with hungry fascination as her muscles jumped beneath his touch, enticing him to trace the same path with his lips as he learned every curve, every dip of her.
She shifted on the bed, spreading her legs ever so slightly, and Cooper was helpless to resist the invitation. Lainey moaned as he positioned himself over her, sliding into her from behind. She was so slick, so ready, that she took him in one long, smooth stroke and he pressed against her from chest to thigh, burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing her in.
* * *
LAINEY COULDN’T GET enough of Coop’s big body against her back, pinning her to the mattress as he drove inside her, slow and deep. There was something intensely erotic about having his weight on her. It made her feel safe, protected, and in turn she was able to let go of all the bad memories and be in the moment. With him.
Last night, she’d arrived at his door intending to bury her pain and frustration with a quick fuck. Instead, he’d taken care of her. And she’d let him. She’d expected to feel embarrassed this morning, but she’d woken in Cooper’s arms with a sense of peace and connection she hadn’t known possible.
She’d never doubted their physical connection—that had been apparent from the moment he’d sauntered into her life. But this morning, it was like he could read her mind, too.
He knew just where to touch, when to push harder, when to pull back.
She squeezed her thighs together, loving the increased friction as he quickened his pace, but more than that, loving the groan that let her know she was reading his mind, too.
Her hand drifted up beside the pillow, and Cooper traced its path, up her forearm, across her injured wrist, until his palm rested against the back of her hand, and their fingers twined together.
Her climax hit like a wave, washing through her with such all-consuming force that she wasn’t sure she would survive it.
Cooper rol
led onto his back, panting as he stared up at the ceiling. Lainey did the same.
“Holy shit,” he said simply.
Lainey glanced over at him, their eyes meeting for the first time that morning. “Wanna go again?”
“Damn straight.”
* * *
“COOP!”
Bang, bang, bang.
“Coop? C’mon, man. Open the door! I thought we were going for breakfast.”
Lainey snapped out of her drowsy euphoria and into alert panic. “Shit! Stop. What are you doing?”
In their quest for sustenance, they’d only made it as far as the couch before getting distracted.
Cooper lifted his head from between her legs, his eyes dark with passion. His voice was rough with frustration. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I was doing, because you were close.”
“Aren’t you going to get the door?”
Cooper gave her a look that eloquently said the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Lie back and let me do what I do. Because once I get you off, I’ve got big plans for the strawberry jam, and the shower, in that order. Stop killing the mood.”
Lainey grabbed his hair, but for the first time, it was to keep him from returning to the Promised Land instead of keeping him from leaving. “Listen, Slick. Mood’s already DOA. It’s been bludgeoned to death. That’s my brother at the door! I can’t do this when I know he’s out there.”
Bang, bang, bang.
“Are you seriously gonna leave me out here? I did what you said. No internet at all.”
Cooper cut an annoyed gaze at the door as Lainey scrambled to tug her panties up. “This is why I don’t put people on the list.” He rocked back onto his feet and stood up in one fluid movement that held all the predatory grace of a prey cat about to take down a whiny zebra with the shittiest timing ever.
Lainey was distracted for about seven seconds by the shift in his muscles as he adjusted the band of his gray sweatpants, which rode low on his hips. All bulging muscles and bulging...other things. Damned if she wasn’t a little turned on despite their unexpected visitor.
Playing Dirty Page 13