by Pam Weaver
‘Mum,’ said Connie, ‘I understand how you feel but believe me, this won’t blow over. Mandy will need help. Right now she thinks it’s her fault. She thinks she fell down the hole because she wouldn’t do what he wanted.’
Clifford moaned in pain and turned around in a tight circle.
‘And if Stan did the same to me all those years ago,’ Connie continued, ‘it stands to reason that he’s been doing it to other little girls in between. He has got to be stopped.’
Gwen looked at Connie as if seeing her for the first time. ‘I didn’t know,’ she apologised. ‘Oh Connie, why didn’t you say something at the time? Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because Ga told me not to,’ said Connie. Her mother’s expression hardened. ‘Actually, I think for once in her life she did it for good reasons. To protect me, just like you want to protect Mandy, but it has to end here. How many other little girls has that monster frightened out of their wits in between? We can’t let it go on.’
‘She’s right,’ said Clifford.
‘No,’ Gwen insisted. ‘I won’t have you going to the police. And anyway,’ she said rounding on Connie, ‘just because he did it to you, doesn’t mean he actually touched Mandy, does it?’
Connie put her hand over her mouth. Her mother obviously had no idea how much that hurt. She sounded so indifferent to what had happened to her. Yes, she was an adult now but that day Stan had robbed her of something. From the moment he had exposed himself to her, she had lost her childhood innocence. Connie knew her mother was frantic with worry over Mandy but she could have done with a little more understanding and a hug.
‘Did Mandy tell you he touched her?’ said Clifford. He was quieter now, but just as angry.
‘I don’t think he did,’ said Connie.
‘How can you be sure?’ Clifford asked.
‘I think when he showed her Mr Charles,’ said Connie, ‘that was the moment Pip went for him.’
‘Pip,’ said Gwen. ‘Oh yes, I’d forgotten about him.’
‘The vet said that Pip had been hit with something, a piece of wood or a log,’ said Connie. ‘Someone viciously beat him and left him for dead.’
Gwen took in her breath. ‘And you think Mandy saw all that too?’
Connie nodded.
‘But why didn’t she take the opportunity to run away?’ Clifford cried.
‘She was too frightened,’ said Connie. ‘My guess is that after she saw what had happened to Pip, that’s when she ran away.’
Clifford put his head in his hands. ‘And then she fell down the hole.’
‘But Stan went back with the others to look for her,’ said Gwen. ‘Why didn’t he tell everybody where she was?’ She saw Clifford and Connie share a glance and at last Gwen understood. Stan didn’t want Mandy to be found. He’d left her down the hole to die.
‘I know we should go to the police,’ said Gwen choking back a small sob, ‘but I keep thinking how awful it would be for her. She’s only a little girl. How can we put her through all that as well?’
Neither of them had an answer to that. They heard the back door open and close again and Ga walked in. She seemed surprised when they turned towards her. ‘What’s the matter with you lot?’
‘You’d better tell her, Gwennie,’ said Clifford. ‘I don’t think I’ve the stomach for it. I’m off to the pub.’
‘You won’t say anything, will you?’ Gwen said frantically.
‘Of course not,’ he snapped. ‘What do you take me for?’ He reached for his cap on the back of the door. ‘But it isn’t right, Gwennie.’
‘What isn’t right?’ said Ga as he slammed the door.
‘This is all down to you,’ Gwen snarled at Ga. ‘You and your bloody interfering. If you had left well alone, none of this would have happened.’
‘Mum, that’s not fair,’ said Connie. ‘Ga was trying to do the best thing for me, just the same as you’re doing for Mandy.’
‘Will one of you tell me what’s going on?’ Ga demanded.
‘Stan Saul was with Mandy on High Salvington,’ said Connie.
Ga lowered herself into her chair as Connie began to explain.
‘No,’ she said when Connie had finished. ‘That can’t be right. His mother told me he was a changed man.’
‘What are you saying?’ said Connie faintly.
Ga looked up sharply. ‘He never actually touched you, did he?’
Connie laughed sardonically. ‘You know as well as I do that he came this close,’ she said, holding her thumb and forefinger together.
‘You were drunk,’ said Ga defensively.
‘I was thirteen years old!’ Connie retorted. Connie was aware that her mother had begun to cry again. ‘And actually, I wasn’t drunk. He’d put something in my drink, Ga. And he did the same to Kenneth’s. I’d hardly had more than a mouthful when I felt funny and couldn’t stand up properly. Kenneth flaked out altogether.’
Ga stared at Connie in disbelief. ‘But he said …’
‘He said, he said,’ said Connie angrily. ‘That’s the trouble, isn’t it? You never once bothered to ask Kenneth and me what happened, did you? You assumed … and just because Stan was older than the both of us you took his word for it.’
There was a thick silence as the two of them digested what Connie was saying.
‘He promised me it would never happen again,’ said Ga. Her voice was a lot smaller now. ‘What was I supposed to do? Stan is all his mother has got. She dotes on that boy. It would have broken her heart if I’d gone to the police.’
‘But I was your family,’ cried Connie passionately as she crossed both hands over her chest.
Gwen was still furious but Connie felt strangely moved with compassion. She’d never seen Ga quite like this before. ‘Don’t you see?’ she said sitting down next to her. ‘By not going to the police all that time ago, you separated this family and put countless other little girls in danger.’
Ga looked up at her. Her face was white. ‘He said it was all your fault. He said you’d egged him on and teased him. He said you were up for it.’
‘You’re not listening, Ga,’ Gwen snapped. ‘They all say that. Men who want to be with little girls. The man is sick … evil … He’ll say anything to justify what he’s done.’
‘But he got married,’ Ga protested loudly.
‘And she killed herself,’ said Connie. ‘Didn’t you ever wonder about that, Ga? I certainly did, especially when you told us that his wife had been a widow with a little girl of her own.’
The full horror of what Connie had implied shocked them all. The sound of the clock on the mantelpiece seemed to grow louder by the second.
‘So what do I do now?’ said Ga eventually.
‘I don’t want Mandy to have to talk to the police,’ said Gwen helplessly. ‘One day they might treat a child with kindness and care but I know that right now they’ll try and get her to say she’s made it all up. They’ll shout at her and frighten her and I can’t have that.’
Connie put her head in her hands. They were back to square one. Her mother began to cry again.
‘It’s all right, Mum,’ said Connie, rubbing her mother’s arm gently.
‘And I’m sorry about you,’ said Gwen brokenly. ‘I wish you could have told me. I should have been there for you, darling.’
Ga fished out a handkerchief from her apron pocket and moved away from them to blow her nose.
‘Anyway,’ said Gwen. ‘We’ll be out of the country soon. We can make a fresh start.’
Ga spun around. ‘Out of the country? What are you talking about?’
Gwen sniffed loudly and drew herself up. ‘Clifford and I are going to Australia. There’s a new scheme for migrant workers and we’re taking Mandy.’
Ga’s jaw dropped. ‘But why?’
‘Don’t give me that, Ga,’ said Gwen, her voice loaded with sarcasm. ‘You know perfectly well why. We want a life of our own. Clifford wants to be the master of his own destiny, not a slave to your b
eck and call.’
‘But all this is for you …’ cried Ga. She waved her hands expansively.
‘You’ve trotted that one out for years,’ said Gwen, angrily stuffing her knitting back into the knitting bag, ‘and yet every suggestion Clifford makes, you won’t allow. He’s stifled here and I can’t bear to see him so unhappy anymore.’
With head high, she marched out of the room and went upstairs.
‘I don’t believe this,’ whispered Ga. ‘What on earth is happening to this family?’
‘I think you’ll find it’s discovered its backbone at last,’ said Connie.
Connie was up early but Ga was already sitting at her writing bureau. She was in her dressing gown and her plaited hair hung over her shoulder. Connie, who was already washed and dressed, put a cup of tea on the drop-down lid. She was still annoyed with Ga but she had made up her mind to try and be civil. Ga moved her arm quickly to cover the page and stopped writing. All at once Connie realised that the paper she was using was exactly the same pale cream paper that Matron was holding in her office. Anger exploded in her chest.
‘It was you, wasn’t it?’ she snarled.
‘What?’
‘You wrote to Matron and got me the sack, didn’t you?’
‘What are you talking …?’ Ga began.
Connie snatched the page and held it up. ‘Don’t bother to deny it. I saw the letter. It was written on paper just like this.’
‘I have never written to your Matron,’ Ga bellowed indignantly. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about.’
But Connie was on a roll now. ‘How many others have you written, Ga? What about those horrible letters to Sally Burndell?’
‘Sally Burndell,’ Ga blustered, ‘was a silly airheaded girl who was cheeky to the customers.’
‘And you tried to destroy her for that!’ Connie shrieked.
There was a small sound and Gwen stood by the doorway. ‘What’s going on now?’
‘It was Ga who wrote those poison pen letters to Sally,’ Connie accused. ‘And she’s the one who got me the sa …’ Connie only just stopped herself in time. ‘And while we’re on the subject …’ she began again. She ran from the room, up to her bedroom and back again. Throwing a piece of paper on the bureau in front of Ga she added breathlessly, ‘Perhaps you’d like to explain that.’
They were looking at a childish picture of a house. It had a red roof and smoke coming from the crooked chimney. On one side was a mummy, a daddy and a little girl. The little girl was holding the hand of another adult, a woman, wearing what looked like a frilly cap. On the other side of the house was a much older woman.
‘What’s wrong with that?’ Ga said defensively.
‘Mandy said you stopped her from taking a piece of paper from your bureau,’ said Connie. ‘She wanted to make Mum a birthday card.’
‘She took it without my permission,’ said Ga indignantly. ‘Theft is theft no matter what the reason for taking it.’
‘Mandy also told me you dropped this when you were burning something in the range,’ said Connie. ‘If stealing a piece of paper is theft, what would you call this, Ga?’
Connie turned the paper over and Ga paled. It was now obvious that Mandy had drawn on the back of an envelope. The envelope was addressed to Mrs G. Craig and in the top left-hand corner it said Royal Victoria Hospital, East Grinstead.
Thirty-Two
Rev Jackson was speechless. His face had paled and he fiddled with his cassock. Connie didn’t bother telling him about Ga and what she’d been up to. She was only interested in telling him about Stan and by the time she had finished what she had to say, Connie was trembling.
They were sitting in his office in his own home. They were alone, apart from Mrs Jackson who had been cleaning in the hallway when Connie arrived. She had brought them a pot of tea.
‘This is certainly a sorry tale,’ said Rev Jackson when Connie had finished, ‘but I hesitate to act upon this information. It was all a very long time ago and perhaps your memory has eroded what actually happened.’ Connie must have shown her disappointment because he added quickly, ‘I really don’t doubt that you believe you have spoken truthfully, my dear, but Graham, I mean Stan, is bound to deny it and all I am left with is your word against his.’
He gave her an apologetic stare. He was right of course, and Connie couldn’t go against her mother’s wishes. She had only told Rev Jackson about her own experience. She hadn’t mentioned a word about Mandy.
‘I just felt the need to warn you, that’s all,’ said Connie, getting to her feet. They walked out into the hallway. ‘I don’t think it would be such a good idea to let him have contact with the children … especially unsupervised.’
‘We are always very careful about looking after the children in our care,’ said Rev Jackson. ‘Changing the subject, how is your sister? What happened to her on High Salvington was most unfortunate. Tell your mother I shall call around this afternoon.’
Connie shook his hand and walked away. Without Mandy’s testimony she wasn’t going to get anywhere, was she? She could understand her mother’s reluctance, but it was frustrating. She still felt physically sick every time she thought about Stan and yet she had been one of the lucky ones. If Ga hadn’t have come back at that very moment, God alone knew what would have happened. From what she could gather, Mandy had been just as fortunate, but how many other children hadn’t? If only there was some way she could stop that monster in his tracks.
Connie trembled as she stood outside of the house. She had waited by the gate for some time, trying to pluck up courage to knock on the door. The house itself was the most attractive in the road. The garden was neat and tidy with roses around the door and delphiniums, goldenrod and lupins waving in the borders. She had never been here before and she didn’t want to be here now. She had chosen her time very carefully. It was time for the Golden Hour Meeting and Stan would be at his place on the piano. On Wednesday afternoons, Rev Jackson held a service for the pensioners of his congregation, followed by a cup of tea, which was why he was dressed in his minister’s robes when she’d seen him in his office.
Connie was banking on the fact that Stan’s mother would still be at home. She never went to church so it was now or never. She took one last deep breath and walked up the path.
Mrs Saul looked a little surprised when she opened the door and saw Connie.
Connie didn’t wait for an invitation to come in, she simply barged past. ‘I’m sorry, Auntie Aggie, but this is important. I need to talk to you.’
Roger looked at Gwen anxiously. ‘I’ve come to see Connie.’
Gwen smiled. ‘You’d better come in. You’re not the first and I’m in the middle of baking bread.’ She indicated her floury hands.
Roger followed her into the neat kitchen. Connie’s great aunt was sitting hunched up by the kitchen range. She glanced up as Roger came in but far from the torrent of abuse she usually dished out when she saw a Maxwell, she nodded curtly and lowered her eyes.
Roger looked around at the other assembled people and was dismayed to see that one of them was the French Canadian and the other, the chap who’d been with him on the hill. They apparently brought gifts for Mandy and Roger was immediately annoyed with himself that he hadn’t thought of doing something like that too. He couldn’t help admiring the beautifully handcrafted doll’s cradle and a little chair. It must have cost a packet. They weren’t the only people in the room. There was someone else, a girl with flame-coloured hair and an interesting weather-beaten face.
‘This is Kezia,’ said Gwen. ‘She’s an old friend of Connie’s. Kez popped in on the off chance of seeing her as well.’
Roger and Kezia exchanged a nod of greeting.
‘And you know Eugène and Isaac of course.’
Roger nodded politely and looked away.
‘We’re here to say goodbye,’ said Kez by way of explanation. ‘The Frenchie is moving to Slinden with us and I came to thank Connie for looking after my br
other.’
‘I hope you don’t mind,’ Gwen said, holding up her floury hands again, ‘but I must put this in a warm place to rise.’
‘No, no,’ said Roger. ‘You carry on. That’s fine.’
‘I owe you an apology Captain Maxwell,’ said Ga.
Roger lifted his hand to stop her. ‘You were distraught. It really doesn’t matter.’
‘Oh but it does,’ said Ga. Her tone was contrite and her voice small. ‘I’ve done a lot of thinking since last I saw you and I’m ashamed of my behaviour. I have come to see that I may have confused my loyalties.’
‘Please …’ Roger protested, then turning to Gwen he said, ‘Is Connie here?’
Mrs Craig and Kez shook their heads.
‘She said she was going to see Reverend Jackson,’ said Ga dully. ‘If I had known Stan was going to turn out like that, I would never have gone along with what Aggie said.’
Roger frowned. ‘I’m sorry?’
‘There’s no need to go into all that, Ga.’ Gwen glared at her aunt and then added, ‘We’ve all had a bit of a shock what with one thing and another.’
‘Oh, so you know about Connie?’ Roger asked. ‘I must say, not to put too fine a point on it that I was appalled by what Matron had done.’
He looked around at their puzzled expressions and started to feel uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and lowered himself onto one of the kitchen chairs. ‘Look, I don’t know how much she has told you,’ he began, ‘although knowing Connie probably nothing at all because she wouldn’t want to upset you.’
Gwen’s face paled. ‘Is something wrong? This sounds serious, Captain Maxwell.’
‘Roger, please,’ said Roger. ‘Haven’t you all wondered why Connie is at home and not in the hospital?’ He glared at Eugène and noted with some satisfaction the anxious look on his face. The man didn’t know. Roger resisted the smug smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
The three women looked at each other. ‘It’s her day off,’ said Ga.
‘I’m afraid not,’ said Roger. ‘It seems that someone made an allegation about Connie behaving inappropriately. They accused her of being disrespectful towards a patient.’