by Zoe Chant
“I think we’re dancing.” Neridia wasn’t quite sure when they had started, but they were definitely swaying gently, in such perfect unison that it wasn’t clear who was leading and who was following.
She felt more than heard the noise he made, a deep rumble of longing that vibrated in her own chest. “When a sea dragon meets his mate, they dance. Circling ever closer, twining together, in the heart of the sea.”
They were spinning now, circling around a point between their two bodies. “Like this?”
“Like this.”
Neridia closed her eyes, leaning her cheek against his shoulder. She felt weightless, his strong hands bearing her up as if she floated on the surface of the ocean, gently rocked by the waves.
“Neridia,“ he murmured, his musical voice turning her name into a melody of longing edged with discordant pain. “We must-“
“Shh.” She tightened her fingers on his. “Let me pretend to be a sea dragon, just for one dance. Just while the music still plays.”
All the breath sighed out of him, ruffling her hair. “Just one dance,” he agreed, softly.
Round and round, so gently, so sweetly. It wasn’t remotely in time to the music, but Neridia didn’t care. Her feet moved to a different tune, the hidden currents of desire, the secret song of her heart.
“John,” she said, after a timeless while.
“Mmm?”
“Are you humming?”
“Yes. Do you wish me to cease?”
“No, I like it.”
Neridia was silent for a few more minutes, listening. Somehow he was able to hum chords, and notes that she could only feel in her bones rather than hear with her ears. It was as if someone had transcribed whale song into a duet for bassoon and cello; haunting, alien, beautiful.
“John?”
“Mmm?”
“The musicians stopped playing some time ago, didn’t they?”
“I had hoped you would not notice,” he confessed.
Opening her eyes, Neridia peered over John’s shoulder. They were the only ones still dancing. Wedding guests chattered and mingled nearby, throwing occasional curious glances in their direction.
Neridia sighed deeply. “I guess we have to stop,” she said reluctantly.
“Yes. We should.”
Despite his agreement, John didn’t loosen his grip. Neridia too found that she couldn’t bring herself to let go.
It was possible that they would have still been dancing at daybreak, except that a large white and pink bundle abruptly came flying out of nowhere straight at the back of John’s head.
“Look out!” Neridia yelped, shoving him aside.
Reflexively, she caught the bundle—and found herself holding a bouquet of roses, slightly the worse for wear.
“Wow, you certainly hurled that, Hayley!” A laughing auburn-haired woman in a beautiful leaf-green bridesmaid’s dress pushed her way through the crowd, searching. Chase followed in her wake, a broad grin on his face. “Come on, who has it?”
Belatedly, Neridia realized she had just caught the bridal bouquet.
Hastily, Neridia shoved it at the nearest person, who turned out to be the blond man she’d met before. “Here!” she called, waving at the bridesmaid. “He’s got it!”
The blond man spluttered in protest, but Neridia pushed him forward. The bridesmaid’s gaze fell on him, and she let out a whoop of laughter.
“It’s Reiner!” she announced, nearly unable to get the words out through her giggles. “Reiner caught it!”
“Yay!” Little Danny hopped up and down next to Reiner, beaming up at his father. “You’re getting married next, Daddy!”
“I most certainly am not.” Reiner turned, lifting one hand as if about to point Neridia out. “It was-“
John stepped forward, coming between him and Neridia. The sea dragon’s broad shoulders bunched ominously.
“-me,” Reiner finished. “Yes, I caught it. Apparently.”
“Well, that’s certainly…unexpected.” Griff appeared through the crowd, his golden eyes dancing with amusement. He clapped Reiner on the shoulder. “Congratulations. Let’s hope that this means you’ll meet your mate soon.”
“Like that’s ever going to happen.” Reiner held the bouquet between finger and thumb, flowers dangling, as if it was a bundle of dead rats. “This is just adding insult to injury.”
“I wasn’t aiming for Reiner,” Griff’s bride complained, coming up to take her new husband’s hand. Her white lace dress clung to her voluptuous body, accentuating the unmistakable curves of mid-pregnancy. “I was trying to hit—um, never mind. Where’s your mate gone, John? I’m dying to meet her.”
Chase was looking worried, glancing around as if he’d lost something. “She’s not here. John, don’t tell me you let her slip away again.”
They couldn’t see her, shielded from view as she was behind John’s tall form. It was a novelty to be able to hide behind someone. John’s hand reached behind his back, opening toward her in silent inquiry.
He remembered that I hate to be stared at. If I want him to, he’ll protect me, get me away from all this attention…
Nonetheless, Neridia took his hand, allowing John to draw her forward. Chase started violently as she stepped into view, as if she’d appeared out of thin air.
“How are you doing that?” the pegasus shifter demanded of her.
Neridia shrank back from his outburst. “I’m not doing anything.”
“But-but-you aren’t there.” Chase pulled at his curly hair, staring at her somewhat wild-eyed. “I can see you, but you aren’t there! Is nobody else bothered by this? Is it just me?”
The auburn-haired bridesmaid, who Neridia guessed had to be Chase’s mate, firmly took the champagne glass from the pegasus shifter’s other hand. “And that’s enough alcohol for you, evidently.”
“Hello again,” Griff said to Neridia with a warm smile. “I’m glad you decided to come. This is Hayley, my wife.” He lingered on my wife, clearly savoring the words. “Hayley, this is-“
“This is the treasure of my heart.” John’s deep voice was very quiet, but every word rang like some great, solemn church bell. “This is the moon to the sea of my soul. Pearl-bearer, hope-carrier, burdened but unbowed. This is my lady Neridia, who bridges worlds with a touch, whose courage I cannot capture in speech nor song.”
“Um,” Neridia said, into the echoing silence that followed. “Hi?”
John turned to address Griff and Chase, his words coming slower now, as if he was having to force each one out. “And if ever I have served you, if ever I have earned your friendship, I beg that you will grant me one last boon. If ever she is in need, come to her call. Protect her, as I cannot.”
The breath froze in Neridia’s lungs. She felt as if a great weight of water crushed her down, squeezing her chest.
He’s leaving. This is goodbye. Forever.
“Well, yes, of course we—wait, what?” Chase cut off his apparently automatic agreement. “John, you can’t be serious. You’re still intent on leaving?”
Rather than answer Chase, John looked down at Neridia. “The dance is over.” All music drained from his tone, leaving his voice as bleached and bare as washed-up bones. “And you are human again, and I still am not. I do not have the strength to bear this further. Please. Release me. Let me go home.”
She wanted to cling to his hand. Every part of her soul cried out to keep hold of him, to never let go. But she could not deny the truth in his words. She could not ignore the agony in the depths of his indigo eyes.
Slowly, she opened her fingers, and let him go.
Chapter 9
“Wait,” Griff said suddenly.
John’s back was already turned. Face hidden, he squeezed his eyes tight shut for a moment, fighting for control. His fists clenched, blunt human fingernails digging into his palms. His true shape pressed tight against the underside of his skin.
No more delays. No more. I will break if I do not return to my t
rue self soon. This form is too weak, too frail, to bear this pain. I need to lock away my heart behind the armor of my scales.
“The time for words has passed, oath-brother,” he said without looking round. “Farewell.”
“Wait,” Griff repeated. He grabbed John’s arm, forcing him to pause. “You still owe me a life-debt. I’m calling it in.”
The sheer affront of it nearly blinded him with sudden rage. He jerked himself free of the griffin shifter’s grip. “I have done you service after service-!“
“Yes, and I have tried time and time again to persuade you that we’re even, and you have never accepted.” Griff met his glare without flinching. “Not even that last time, with Danny and Hayley—you said it didn’t count, because I’d turned out not to need your help after all. Were you lying, all this time? Is the debt paid?”
John made himself breath deeply, twice, in and out, before he could trust himself to speak. “I am a Knight-Poet of the First Water, vowed to candor. I never lie. The debt is not paid.”
It was the deepest gesture of trust a sea dragon could make, to refuse to allow a life-debt to be repaid. It was laying your throat bare to your oath-brother’s blade, confident that he would never use the weapon you had handed him. He’d thought Griff understood that.
I am a fool. Of course no dry-lander can ever truly comprehend our ways.
“Well, I’m calling the debt in now,” Griff said firmly. “I have one last task for you, before you disappear for good. I need you to take Neridia home.”
“Griff.” Neridia had overheard. “Please, don’t.”
Out of the corner of his eye, John caught a glimpse of her stepping forward. He quickly looked away, staring across the room before the sight of her could weaken his resolve yet further.
“It’s, it’s all right.” Her beautiful voice stumbled on the painful lie. “Let John go. Please, don’t torment him any more.“
“I’m sorry, and doubly so if this all turns out to be a mistake. I have a horrible suspicion that even if I’m right, this is just going to make everything worse…but John has to go to your house.”
“My honor,” John grated out through gritted teeth, “is not a leash round my neck for you to jerk at your whim. I warn you, oath-brother, that if you do this we will not part as friends.”
“I know,” Griff said quietly. “But this is too important. Neridia, you need to show John that painting.”
The journey to Neridia’s dwelling-place seemed endless. She lived on the far side of the loch, which was no distance at all for a sea dragon, but a considerable journey when one was forced to travel by land.
John did not like travelling in cars at the best of times; he had to contort like an eel to fit inside even the largest vehicle, and to have the world streaking past without any effort from his own muscles was deeply disconcerting. To be forced to cram himself into one of the hellish metal devices now, agonizingly aware of Neridia’s bare arm mere inches away from his, was a fresh depth of torment.
Though he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the dark waters of the lake blurring past outside, he could not close his nose to her enticing scent. He breathed as little as possible, tried to find a position that didn’t break his spine, and began to mentally recite the Creed of the Knights of the First Water.
By the time they finally stopped outside a small stone cottage, every bone in John’s body screamed protest at the constant jolting, he’d reached the Forty-Ninth Rule of Honorable Duels…and he was more rigidly hard than he had ever been in his entire life.
“Um. Well,” Neridia said, breaking the silence that had smothered them for the entire journey. She turned off the infernal vehicle. “Here we are.”
John contemplated first whether he could unfold from his contorted position, and secondly whether he wanted to. But his shameful state showed no sign of subsidence. He could only hope that the ridiculously thick, all-enveloping human garments he wore would conceal his lack of self-control.
“I still don’t understand why Griff insisted on this,” Neridia said, as she led him into the house. “Did he say anything more to you?”
“No,” John said, shortly.
John hadn’t given his oath-brother—his former oath-brother—the opportunity to explain himself. Filled with anger at his comrades’ betrayal, he’d stormed out of the ballroom, removing himself from their presence before he lost his temper entirely.
Privately, John was certain that Griff had just been seizing on any excuse to force him to spend more time in Neridia’s presence. Doubtless the griffin shifter’s eagle-sharp senses had allowed him to see just how close to breaking John truly was. He must have hoped that the enforced proximity would push him over the edge.
I will endure. I must endure. Only a few moments more.
His packed hoard, armor and sword were safely stored in the back of Neridia’s vehicle. As soon as he had discharged this ridiculous duty, he could seize them, and disappear into the depths of the lake. He would be gone, and never again have to know the torment of breathing the same air as her, walking on the same land as her, so close and yet so terribly apart.
“Well, this is it.” Neridia gestured uncertainly at a small painting hanging on the wall of the living room. “So? Does it mean anything to you?”
John glanced at the unimpressive thing. “It is a painting of the lake. With a sea dragon in it. There. Honor is satisfied. I shall not trouble you further.“
For fuck’s sake! his inner human yelled at him. Idiot! Look at it!
His inner human’s vehemence caught him off guard. Without his own volition, John’s gaze was dragged back to the tiny painted silhouette.
He still could not see anything special about it, certainly nothing to so agitate his inner human. It was just a sea dragon. Perfect in every detail, from the noble curve of the horned brow to the majestic sweep of the neck-ruff…
Wait.
John had seen many human depictions of sea dragons. They had all been laughably inaccurate. No human had properly seen a sea dragon for thousands of years, after all, not since Atlantis had sank beneath the waves. All humans had to base their fanciful pictures on were half-remembered legends and tall tales.
But this…this sea dragon was painted with utter accuracy, as if drawn from life.
And more than that, it was a very particular sea dragon.
“Who painted this?” John said softly, staring at the unmistakable profile.
“My father,” Neridia said, sounding puzzled. “That’s what Griff asked too. He-what are you doing?”
He’d seized her chin, gently but firmly tipping her face up to the light. Heedless of her muffled protests, he tilted her head first one way, then the other, staring at her features as if seeing them for the first time.
How was I so blind? How could I not see it before?
The elegant arch of her brow, the strong set of her jaw, the glory of her eyes…it was not merely the fact that she was his mate that made every line of her face shine with noble beauty.
“Why are you staring at me?” Neridia jerked free from his suddenly slack hand. “What’s going on?”
“Where is he?”
Neridia took a half-step back, eyes widening in alarm. “I, I don’t know what you’re saying.”
He’d spoken in his own language. He fumbled for human words, tongue half-numb with shock. “Where is he? Your, your father, where is he now?”
Neridia’s hand crept up to close around her pearl pendant. “He died four years ago. He-John!”
He’d crashed to his knees, not gracefully, but as if felled by a sword-stroke.
“The Emperor is dead.” Shaking in every muscle, he bowed his head in the full genuflection due to her. “Long live the Empress.”
Chapter 10
Neridia stared down at John’s bowed head. “What?”
“You are the one I have been seeking, Your Majesty,” he said to her shoes. “You are the Heir to the Pearl Throne. Your father, may he rest in the ocean’s hear
t, was the Pearl Emperor, King of Atlantis, Ruler of all the Shifters of the Sea, Commander of Wave and-“
Neridia had a suspicion the list of titles might go on for some time. “My father? That’s ridiculous. My father was no sea dragon!”
“Look, Your Majesty.” John unfastened one of the charms from his braided hair, holding it out to her without lifting his head. “Look at this, and then at the painting.”
Neridia took the small golden disc, squinting at it. A minute sea dragon’s head was engraved on one side in exquisite detail. Something about it struck her as terribly familiar.
It was exactly the same profile her father had painted in the picture. Exactly the same as the way he’d always drawn the "Loch Ness Monster."
“Coincidence,” she said, trying to convince herself. “He was an artist, he had a good imagination. Or, or maybe he just saw a sea dragon some time.”
John shook his head, gaze still fixed on the ground. “Your Majesty-“
“Don’t call me that!”
He ignored her interruption. “I saw him in human form once, Your Majesty. I was no more than a mere child at the time, but I could never forget his imperial face. I should have recognized you at once. I would have done, had I not been blinded by…what else you are to me.”
“This, this is…” Neridia clenched her fist around the charm, her hand shaking. “This is nonsense. You’re wrong. My father couldn’t even swim! He was terrified of water!”
That jerked his head up at last. “What?”
“He wouldn’t even go outside if it was raining. My mom always said it was just a phobia, something he couldn’t help, and that I mustn’t upset him by asking questions about it.”
“And the lake told me that no sea dragon had visited its depths,” John murmured, his eyebrows drawing down. “I do not understand. How could he bear to never take his true form?”
“Because being human was his true form! He never went near the lake. He liked to look at it from a distance, but he was paranoid about getting too close.”