“Well, not to worry. I’m sure that he’s weak and tired since he hasn’t eaten in a long time. But you still feel him at times, do you not? He hasn’t stopped moving altogether?”
“I still feel him.” His words mumbled. They stumbled over each other as he talked with Humphrey’s hand in his mouth. That’s good, he thought. It’ll cover up any sign of doubt in my voice.
“I’m glad to hear.” Humphrey held up the broken-off tooth against the dental light. He spun it around, examining every detail. It was white in certain places, but mostly it was covered with dry blood. Humphrey grabbed the file and began to work on the spots of dry blood, filing them down. It made an unpleasant sound, turning Axel’s blood to grit. On occasion, the tooth let out a high-pitch scream, similar to the sound of dragging a fork across a plate of glass.
“It’s definitely damaged.” Humphrey brought out a flashlight. He shone into the empty space of Axel’s mouth where the tooth had sat, seconds ago. “Well, there’s not much use in trying to bring the beetle out. I believe I said this before, but The Valuables needs patience—it’s not something that can be rushed.”
“Uh-huh,” Axel agreed in monotone.
Humphrey grabbed a small metal instrument with a hook at the end of it—a most common dentist tool. He scraped Axel’s teeth with the hook. Once again, Axel heard that terrible high-pitch sound, but this time, it echoed inside of him. He felt the cold, sharp metal vibrate against his teeth. It scraped off teeth fragments. He swished them around his mouth. They annoyed him; tickling his cheeks with a slight sting, acting as sand would inside of sandals on a hot summer day.
“Would you like some water to rinse with?”
Axel did, but his hatred for accepting a small remedy from Humphrey clouded reason.
“No,” Axel said with confidence. He used his saliva to swallow the grains of his teeth. Some of them stuck inside of his throat. He felt like he had swallowed a blend of sand and grit. It took multiple swallows to get them down.
Now Humphrey inspected the smaller teeth in Axel’s bottom gums. The bottom gums were damaged, but not to the extent of his upper gums. Only one or two of Axel’s bottom teeth wiggled along with Humphry’s pinching grip.
“Alright,” Humphrey said. “I think I’ve made a decision.” He reached for the miniature saw, holding it a couple of inches away from Axel’s face. Humphrey turned it on; it carried a dreadful sound—the sound of a drill mad on power. A circular metal blade spun around and around. Axel caught a glimpse of the sharp edges surrounding the round blade. Humphrey blew on it. His air interacted with the artificial air escaping from the fast movement of the saw. Together, they managed to make the sound of someone taking their last breaths.
“Bite down,” Humphrey said, still inspecting the miniature saw. “Keep it steady now. I wouldn’t want to miss. Trust me.”
It felt like someone opened up the skin on Axel’s arms and proceeded to scrape long, dry nails against his nerves. He felt warm. His skin turned into fur. The air became heavier in context, and it dried out the moisture in his throat. If Axel didn’t know any better, he would’ve guessed that he sat in a sauna right now.
Axel bit down. In a nervous motion, he rubbed his teeth together, feeling their rocky surfaces clash. Humphrey grabbed Axel’s head, leaning it backward with a gentle touch. He saw Axel’s teeth in a thin grin. Humphrey parted the lips, dragging them up and to the side. The miniature saw circled itself. With a grip on Axel’s inner cheek, exposing the left upper row of teeth, Humphrey began to work.
10
It’s a carousel.
That was Axel’s first thought when he saw the round, spinning metal of the miniature saw approach him with the buzz of the world’s largest wasp. He didn’t know why the image of a carousel came to him, but he guessed that it had something to do with the lifeless eyes of all the horses the children sat upon. Humphrey’s eyes carried that same look.
In a moment where all the sound left the world except for the thunder of Axel’s beating heart, blood splattered out of Axel’s upper gums, onto Humphrey’s mask. Axel felt the speed of the saw work. It made an uncomfortable ripping sound, reminding him of a knife scraping the insides of a red pepper.
Adrenaline dashed through every fiber. His own body heat seemed to overlap the pain, for now. A bass speaker was installed within each pump of his heart, escaping his ears in soundwaves, rocking his entire body. Axel barely heard the miniature saw anymore.
When the miniature saw reached the root of his tooth, it slowed down. It made a terrible sound, no different than the sound of a saw cutting through wood. He felt heat build inside of his tooth, radiating into the rest of his mouth, down the back of his throat. A burnt smell tickled his nostrils. Humphrey applied pressure and began to push with force against the root. The miniature saw began to dig. Flecks of white flew outward, sticking themselves onto the stains of blood on Humphrey’s mask, like bizarre, modern artwork. Axel’s face began to dance along with the miniature saw. Humphrey had difficulty keeping Axel still. The miniature saw had been straight the whole way through, until now. When Axel’s head began to shake, the flat, round blade crooked upward, leaving a gash in his upper lip.
Axel uttered a sharp scream.
Humphrey turned off the miniature saw. It stuck halfway into the root of Axel’s tooth, and he had to twist it left and right, crunching bone, to be able to reverse it. Axel’s scream turned into that of a banshee. Humphrey grabbed a white towel from the wagon, pushing it against Axel’s mouth. Within seconds, blood seeped through the thick fabric and turned the dry towel moist. Axel’s head still leaned backward, and some of the blood ran down his throat. He began to cough up blood on Humphrey, not prepared for the swallow. Humphrey showed no sign of disgust. His educated touch remained, along with the sound of his excited lungs.
Two minutes later, Humphrey poured water inside of Axel’s mouth. “Rinse,” he commanded. Axel did. The cold water provided momentary relief inside of his mouth’s furnace. He spat it out, feeling the metallic aftertaste of blood linger on his tongue. “Ready for round two?” Axel didn’t mean to make the slightest sound, but his throat made a gurgling sound.
“Is the blood too thick for the likes of a crab?” Humphrey hissed. “Well, it’ll be over soon. We’re halfway there.”
The buzz of the miniature saw spun once more. With perfect accuracy, Humphrey lodged it back in place. It began to work exactly where it had left off. White tooth fragments spat out on Humphrey in increased haste now, for Humphrey worked faster than before. He looked like he had just come out of a snow storm.
Axel’s adrenaline came down. This time, he felt the pain. If depression was a completely physical pain instead of mental pain, he thought. This would be it.
He didn’t scream. He grunted. Axel thought that screaming would somehow make it worse. It would be like enduring all of the pain, accepting it.
The spinning of the miniature saw now halted. A loud POP echoed in his head, bouncing on the inner walls of his flesh. Axel felt the tooth jump out of his gums. With no time to waste, Humphrey poured water over the tooth in anxious speed, washing away the blood. This tooth was completely white, healthy. Humphrey turned toward Axel, who looked as if a child had drawn on his face with red lipstick. “Thanks, crabby—I really appreciate this, you know.” The only sound that came out of Axel was the dripping of his blood.
Humphrey removed his surgical mask. In the same delicate speed he used before, he reached inside of Axel’s mouth, hooked his nails onto a string of flesh, and pulled. This one ripped quickly, for it was wet with blood. Axel wretched when Humphrey bit down on the string of flesh, letting it dangle from his mouth. His hands were too busy to hold it; one held the tooth, and the other worked file. As Humphrey leaned over the wagon, he made sure that all the crumbs of white bone fell on top of the flat surface. The file grained the tooth down to white dust, resembling rock salt. Axel pulled his face back in disgust.
Axel’s mouth trembled beyond contr
ol. Curiosity rode his emotions, and he just had to inspect the damage. He just had to. His tongue surpassed through the blood. It reached the spot where the chew of the saw had worked. Bursts of heat radiated from the wound. Axel slid his tongue around it, disgusted by how soft the flesh was in this area. He immediately regretted his curiosity and felt somewhat ashamed of himself. He parked his tongue at the bottom of his mouth, watching Humphrey continue to file the tooth. Only a small piece remained.
Something felt off. Axel didn’t know what; it might’ve been the expressionless look in Humphrey’s eyes; or the way he handled the file with nothing but hard concentration. Axel felt scared. He started playing around with the idea of what would happen if Humphrey had somehow found out that the beetle wasn’t there, whilst he searched Axel’s mouth. To try and mold the pain, Axel tried to think positive. The idea started with a: Hey, at least he didn’t find the beetle. He marveled this idea, sucking out all the positive juices he could from it, and perhaps in different circumstances, he would’ve smiled. But then he watched Humphrey, closely. Something seemed off about him. Well, more off than usual. Axel noticed now that Humphrey wasn’t working with pure, hard concentration; but with anger. The strokes of the file were long, handled with a muted strength.
It’s just your paranoia. He doesn’t suspect shit.
But Axel knew that it wasn’t just his paranoia. His mind rejected what he was seeing for Axel’s own safety. If Axel were to really believe that Humphrey had found out about the beetle, then that meant accepting the end. Not only the end for Axel, but for his sister. And that something he couldn’t do.
You’re just paranoid.
He felt more and more stupid each time that sentence repeated in his head.
11
“All done,” Humphrey said. His face was turned away from Axel so that he could speak. He moved aside to let Axel’s eyes inhale the image of grinded up bone. “It’s time for the ultimate crunch.” His tone shifted, for his teeth still bit down on the string of flesh, holding it in place. Axel had hoped to try and listen for hints of anger, but this rendered that type of listening difficult. Humphrey pulled the string of flesh free from his mouth’s grip. Blood stained a spot on his lips where the flesh had been. Humphrey licked most of it off.
He laid the flesh straight in the palm of his glove. With the other hand, he pinched a tiny grip of tooth fragments, sprinkling them on top. Some of it stuck to his fingers. He started sucking on them, like a baby. Whilst he grabbed another pinch, the specks of bone in his mouth crunched. When he finished seasoning the string of flesh, Humphrey turned toward Axel, showing him the final product. Axel, however, didn’t look at the final product; he looked at Humphrey’s face.
Shouldn’t he be happy right now?
Axel felt insane for asking, but hey, this was Humphrey, after all. Last time Humphrey had eaten a string of flesh, he turned into a kid at a carnival. But now, he displayed no essence of joy. Although, from what Axel could see, there were no signs of anger, either, just a bland face with glistening excitement on his forehead.
Humphrey turned back toward the wagon, face away from Axel. The wildest, most grotesque crunches erupted from him. Axel couldn’t see Humphrey’s face, but something told him that Humphrey’s eyes were closed in absolute pleasure. The crunching went on for a couple of minutes. Along with the crunch, hidden away in shame, was the moist chew of the flesh, sticking to Humphrey’s teeth. There were moments when Humphrey called for backup in the form of his finger, to dig it out of his teeth. The world stood quiet then. When the finger left his mouth, and the flesh became free from his jaws, the crunching returned.
When every speck of bone had been crunched into dusty saliva, Humphrey strapped on his surgical mask. Still turned away from Axel, he said, “Would you like me to pick off a few pieces of flesh for you?”
Axel, who had been lost in the moment of watching Humphrey eat, awoke from a daze. “I’m not that hungry.”
“That’s okay,” Humphrey said. His voice carried a hint of sadness. “I brought some soup. It’s cold, though. Would you like some of that?”
Axel did indeed want some of that.
12
Gulps of cold flavor massaged Axel’s tongue. He couldn’t tell what kind of soup this was, nor could he identify the flavor. It removed the metallic aftertaste in his mouth, and that was all he cared about. The soup was inside of a silvery packet, glittering with invitation. Humphrey bit a hole in the top, and Axel prayed that no remains from Humphrey’s mouth would spice up the soup. From what he could tell as he drank it, no abnormal textures were to be found. Something did crunch, however, but it turned out to be a carrot.
Humphrey held a steady pour. He poured enough of the soup for Axel to swallow with comfort. Axel drained the entire packet in the span of forty seconds.
“Were you thirsty or hungry?”
“A little bit of both,” Axel replied, picking up some spillage with his tongue.
Humphrey kneeled down on Axel’s right side to say something. Axel glared into his eyes with the stare of an eagle.
“I think we both need some blue anesthesia.”
13
It didn’t feel right to meet the blue sky and share a visionary bond of pleasure. That bright color of blue didn’t seem to belong in the world. Axel thought it weird that such evil can take place beneath something so beautiful. Although, he speculated that for some people, mayhem of the beautiful made the experience more fulfilling. For people who house darkness, the world must reflect their perspective; and their perspective was that of cataclysm. Humphrey was different, though. He appreciated the beauty of the world, and still he did things of madness. Maybe for him, the world was too beautiful for him to ever do anything wrong.
They were once again in an isolated garden. However, this one was different. A glasshouse surrounded this garden. The glass walls were large and offered a view of a road. Axel assumed he had arrived here from that road. From here, Axel saw that rocks covered the road in grains, as if the road was rarely traveled. It spanned straight from the building, then upward over a hill along the presence of dead trees. Light beamed off that hill, penetrating through white clouds. Axel believed that over the hill, where the home of the bright light existed, freedom waited.
Once again, Axel was chained to a hospital bed. Humphrey stood at his side. This time, he didn’t bother to take off the surgical mask; probably because fresh air was not a frequent treat inside of this glasshouse. Although, there were times when some air would squeeze through cracks between each panel of glass, carrying enough touch to throw a disco upon human hair. The cool breeze made Axel think of ice cream. He watched the sky through a roof of stained glass. The blue would be blueberry, and the white clouds would be vanilla. Or, would they be puffs of white cotton candy?
“Do you know where we are?”
Axel lost track of his sugary wonderland and returned to a bitter reality. He could see Humphrey in the corner of his vision, staring up at the sky, never blinking as if he didn’t dare to waste a millisecond of the blue color.
“No,” Axel said. “I do not.” His wounds were on the brink of tearing with every movement in his mouth. If he talked too much or lost awareness of caution, one of them would surely rupture. And, staring up at the blue sky, swimming around in thoughts spanning deeper than the sky itself was a great way to lose awareness.
“This was my home for three months. It’s a hospital for the mentally ill. There are various wards in this place.” Humphrey pointed to the right, where a separate building stood. “That’s the ward that treated addiction. It’s located on the top floor, numbered 369. At the bottom floor, they treated people with bipolar disorder, along with schizophrenia, numbered 367. We’re currently at 363, where they treated depression.”
“What happened to this place?”
“It was shut down in ninety-five. It’s been abandoned ever since. It’s located a long way from civilization. No one built any cabins or stuck around these parts. T
he forest at night can be scary enough; I guess no one wanted to add the worry of a lunatic showing up at their doorstep. There’s the occasional explorer, but they’re most rare. This place is huge. And if there are any explorers, they keep to the outskirts. They wouldn’t be able to get in here, anyway; I’ve locked it up tight.”
Axel turned silent, but Humphrey kept on talking.
“I started coming back here as soon as I obtained my driver’s license. As far as I’m concerned, this is my home. During my three months here, I felt more at home than I have in any other place where I’ve spent years. I don’t deem myself to be mentally ill, but regardless, people treated me with care and understanding here. You could argue that they were paid do to so, and when it comes to doctors wearing white uniforms, I couldn’t agree more. However, the nurses don’t make nearly as much money as the doctors. Besides, I know their policy: they’re not required to ask a patient how she or he is feeling. Not at random, anyway. But some of them did. It’s the little things that matter, crabby, wouldn’t you say?”
“I guess so.” He trailed his tongue across his wounds, making sure none of them had ruptured at his words. It reminded him of licking wet toilet paper.
“Yeah,” Humphrey breathed. “So, I started coming back here with chains and locks, making the place mine. I turned it into my home. This isn’t where I live, of course, but it’s sort of my safe haven. I’ve been sleeping in the receptionist’s office since you arrived.
“I didn’t bring you here just because we wouldn’t be bothered. There’s another reason.” Axel couldn’t help but turn his head toward Humphrey now. “This is the place where I first found out about The Valuables. It’s only fitting that I would bring the one who carries them here. Not only that, but I also learned about the Verse-of-U here.”
“What exactly is the Verse-of-U?”
“It’s another word for the universe, crabby. You know, it’s funny how people say not to apply stereotypes to certain groups; to see a person not for the color of their skin, or where they come from, but to see them as an individual. Well, then why don’t we see the universe as an individual? That’s all it is. Imagine just looking upward, and seeing the universe in simplistic terms, without all the identities people has given it. To not be blinded by what you have been told from others. Forget about the contexts of all beliefs that everyone has ever told you, and simply look up. When your intelligence isn’t clouded by human sewage, you’ll see.”
Blue Anesthesia Page 16