Chapter Three
Sarah-Jane
Bouncing down the steps to the waiting car, I jump in the front seat, surprised to see it empty. I pull down the sun visor and check my gloss, pushing up at my curls a little. Dad shocks me as he opens the door and slides into the driver’s seat. Mmm right well, he’s dropping me off, fine. Pulling out of our gated community, he starts with the normal, now listen here, I’m your father speech. Pity he doesn’t really act like one. The speech goes as follows, I can recite it backward. “Don’t do any drugs. Stay away from bad company, Sarah-Jane. You never know what could happen. You come from money, remember that.” God sakes, yes, I know, I think as I glance out of the dark-tinted windows of the Escalade. For once, Bernie is not driving me and I really wish he was. Would save this right here. I pause. Dad must have other plans after this, if he’s driving me. It’s not like him.
God, if only they knew, wouldn’t they laugh? I’ve been drinking for a while now. It’s a bit hard not to when you watch your mother numb herself night after night with it and a bottle of sleeping tablets. I won’t touch drugs though, not after what Brad did. Liquor, I can do. I’m still in control but drugs that takes all your control and senses away? No. I drink just a little bit here and there, at night mostly. It makes me numb to the constant bickering between my parents; like Mom does. It numbs it away. So, I don’t have to think about Dad leaving and coming home late or sometimes, not at all. I’m sure occasionally I can smell other women on him. Mom will drink in the dark and cry, take her glass of whiskey, along with her sleeping tablets, up to her empty room and fall into a sad, lonely slumber, then just like that, the next day they are back to being the loving Mr. and Mrs. Briggs. They head to parties, meetings, interviews, and attend lunches, dinners, the works. All with painted on smiles and fake love in their hearts.
They lost the true love they had for one another the night that Brad died. Now it’s been replaced with blame, hate, and sadness. I don’t want that for myself, not ever. I couldn’t do that to myself or my family when I have one. How could you? I get so tired, listening to the same crap over and over again as it spews from them. Would they really care if I was doing all they say not to do? Would they be able to see past themselves, for that long? I don’t think so.
So, with a fake smile, I say all the right things to him. “Yes Daddy, ok Daddy, no Daddy, you can trust me, Daddy”. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! For the love of God, give it up already! They push. They push so hard and wonder why we are so messed up.
Finally, we pull up outside the football field. I reach to open the door and, before I know it, Daddy has his hand on my arm. I turn as he takes in a breath and closes his eyes. They stay shut for a little bit and I roll mine. That’s one of my bad habits. Mom’s always telling me to stop it because, “A lady doesn’t roll her eyes, Sarah-Jane”. Whatever. I roll them again at the thought of what she would say if she was here. When I look up again, Daddy’s eyes are open and hooded with pain; laced with fear and hopelessness. I smile up at him; this man I love under it all, I do. I give him a hug and tell him “I’m going to be ok, Daddy. Don’t worry, I’ll be with Tammy after the game and we won’t do anything careless.” See, I’m just saying all the right words to a man that’s so smart he’s a Senator but yet he’s too dumb to see through the façade of his perfect, A-grade daughter, who’s as broken as he is. Needing, no wanting her parents, but drowning in their hate, tears and lonely nights.
I lean over and place a kiss on his cheek. He clears his throat and says for the first time in a long time, “I do love you Sarah-Jane. You know that, don’t you?”
I smile at him and reply “Yes Daddy, I do know that. And I love you. Mom does too. Maybe, you should go home and tell her that you love her and maybe tonight she won’t sit up and cry alone in the dark, drinking herself into a state.” He goes stiff and looks at me, trying so hard to hide the expression on his face. I look him square in the eye and say, “Daddy, I’m not dumb. I see what’s going on and I feel just as much as you both do. I loved him too; he was a part of me as well. I also lost him. And you know what? I’m still here, right here in front of you both. I didn’t die that night. I still need you both.” Swiping at the tear that has rolled down my cheek, anger washes over me. I hate crying. It’s weakness, a weakness I don’t want to feel. Looking up at him, I realize I’ve left the man speechless.
He runs his hand over my hair and says with wonder and sadness. “Darling girl, how did you grow up so fast, right before my eyes? I didn’t even realize. For you, I will try. I’ll try to pick up these broken pieces and fix the cracks, because if I lost you, too, there wouldn’t be anything left to fight for.” Well it’s not like you’re fighting now, for us, or for anything, I think coldly. These thoughts and conversations leave me feeling exhausted. Nothing ever changes.
I lean in and hug him for a long time. I just hug him, breathe him in. For those few seconds, time seems to stand still. I have my dad, really have him, for the first time in a long time. He is here with me; feeling, hearing me, seeing me, and only me. That feels amazing! It gives me a glimmer of hope that maybe we have turned a corner and we can go back to the way things had been before.
We come apart. Daddy is smiling, and that warms my heart. We look at each other and he says, “I will darling; I’ll go home to her now. Thank you, kiddo. Stay safe ok?” With that, I hop out of the Escalade, turn back and give him a smile. With a skip in my step, I head into the crowd.
I find Tammy standing outside the changing rooms looking flustered. She spins around when I walk up. “Jeez, where have you been?” she spits at me. What’s up with her attitude this girl really does confuse me.
“I’m not that late, am I?” Surely not; my talk with Dad didn’t take that long, did it?
“Oh well,” she shakes her head, “you’re here now,” she chimes and pulls me into the changing rooms giggling. What has gotten into her? Do I want to know? Probably not. See confuses me, one minute she’s all hot headed and snappy the next its all chirpy and wonderful school girl drama.
Oh well she’s Tammy. I watch her mouth babble on as my minds slips to the man who has set up residents inside my brain. I wonder if he is here? Tammy’s high pitch voice with an over dramatic “OMG!” Pulls me from the trance that is Knox Ambrose. Her hands find my shoulders and her over excited eyes bore into mine as she never loses a beat and just flows on into her statement.
“So, Clarke told me that tonight he wants me to stay after the party, that he wants to go, you know, all the way!”
Holy hell’s bells. I nearly choke on the drink she has just handed me. God, was that from what she said or the drink? First thing’s first, “what the hell is this?”
“Cognac,” she says. “It’s from my Dad’s cabinet.” I take another sip, deciding that I love the taste and feel as it slides down my throat, leaving a slight burn in its wake.
“What the heck Tammy, are you ok?” I touch her forehead. Like this girl can’t be for real! Drinking and sex like shit she’s Tammy and she’s the Cheerleader captain her parents will flip if they realize that their A+ daughter is out drinking in a changing room. This is so not a Tammy thing to do.
“Yes,” she says swatting my hand away. “I’m fine. Just a little, won’t hurt before the game; and after. Did you hear what I said? Clarke wants to go all the way. Like, not holding hands, playing it safe, touching, but all the way. God, I’m glad I wore my good panties tonight.”
I shake my head at her. Did I just hear her right? Good panties? Is there such a thing? I take a long pull on the cognac; she’s not the only one that’s going to need this tonight.
After she’s all prepped and ready we head out to pep up her squad. I intend on staying in the bleachers, by the front. Just before we get there, Tammy stops me and says, “Clarke told me Dan told him that he really likes you and would love to take things further.” Rolling my eyes, ice forms in my heart, that kid just doesn’t get it.
For God’s sake, I’m about to lose my
mind over this, I think, exasperated. Dan must need a doctor to check out his head. For weeks now, I have told him that I’m not one bit interested in him, nor will I be at any time in the foreseeable future. This is ridiculous. I take a deep breath and look at Tammy before replying, “Really?”
She looks back with her puppy dog eyes and pleads, “Please, just try. He’s a nice guy, Sarah-Jane.”
“Uh-huh”, I comment. “Yeah right, if you say so.” I say it, looking up to the heaven for help.
I decide that I will leave it at that, for now. I’ll just avoid Dan Johns. Tonight, my mind is somewhere else anyway. I keep thinking about what happened with Daddy in the car. That was so weird, but in a good way. I also find my mind wandering to the elusive Knox Ambrose. Every time I think of him my heart quickens, and I feel a little tingly in all the right places. Where is that bad boy anyway? What’s he up to? Damn, I need to get my hands back on that cognac and shake this giddiness off. It may just give me the bravado needed to push down this daydreaming girly-ness and talk to him. That’s the plan Stan so best I execute it.
Knox
Holy hell! The stadium’s packed I think the whole town is here.
We squeeze through the traffic jam of people, smelling of beer and hotdogs, to find some seats amidst the pride of American football and cheerleaders. Personally, I don’t see the hype, I’d much rather watch a good old-fashioned ass whooping with a bottle of beer in my hand.
The hot little ring of girls are dressed in little more than their underwear. One of them wouldn’t go astray either. They always seem to give you a nice look at what they are working with; leaving very little to the imagination, that’s for sure. I’ll have plenty of time for that when I make it in the UFC. A scantily-clad ring model or two, walking round an octagon – now that’s hot – in between fights. I shift uncomfortably in my seat trying to hide the semi hard-on the thought has given me.
I wonder where the sweet Sarah-Jane is. Talk about a delightful distraction. She’s probably somewhere near the cheerleaders, I’m sure. They don’t seem to ever leave her side, or maybe it’s she who stays close to that group? One thing I’ve noticed, Tammy’s always there and so is Dan.
I’ve seen the way he watches her, but I’ve also seen the way she shoots him down. The guy should take a hint. Poor guy; has it bad. Who wouldn’t though, shit any man within a hundred yards would. She is fucking gorgeous with an edge of divine elegance. I need to find her. For some reason, I feel very protective of her. The more I think about it, the more my hands sweat, the faster my heart beats, the more my mind races. I have it fucking bad for the girl I don’t even know. The chick I would lay it all down for. Looking around, I scan the joint, needing to find our seats just as Jamie hollers over the crowd and noise, pointing to where he has located them. They are two rows up from the front of the cheerleading squad. Of course. Jamie’s little lady is on the prissy squad and he has made sure that he and the boys have a bird’s eye view of them. I have a small chuckle to myself. If only they knew what these boys are like, then I’m sure that they wouldn’t be so keen to hand over their V-card to them. It’s their loss really, since they seem far too eager to listen to anything else. Kash, and I are tame compared to Jamie and the other boys. Hold on, I’ll correct that statement. Kash is mellow. He’s a lover, not a fighter. Me? Well, I’m rough ‘round the edges to say the least. I like it hard, I do. But I’m not as ruthless as some of the guys in our group. Their whole purpose in college is to fuck everything and anything with a pulse and as hard and fast as they can, leaving nothing but shattered hearts and dreams in their wake. Funny, isn’t it? I want to fight and smash back the exquisite Miss Briggs, so really, I’m no better.
Jamie breaks into my train of thought. “Where’re you going?” I ask as he steps past me.He replies “To give my girl a good luck kiss since it’s the first game of the season. And then to get us some beers.”
“Oh yeah,” I say, “I’ll come with. I could use a beer to get through this game and its screaming women.”
We hit the delightful bunch of cheerleaders, who are swarming around like a mad mob of bees. Shit they are loud. Like can’t they hear themselves! Shrieking and clapping, jumping around like they are jacked up on sugar. Their high pitch talk fifty miles an hour voices is insane on my ears and I have a head-ache already and the night has just started. This is why I avoid these sorts of things Cheerleaders are loud and over the top I’d much rather the noise from a UFC fight over this high-pitched screaming any day of the week. I see Tammy out the corner of my eye and she has a sour look on her face. I give her a wink and flash her a charming smile. Oh, sweetheart, I think. Lighten up. I’m not the devil.
She has been like a banshee stung since I denied her awhile back. I wasn’t then, and am not now, into dating girls like her. They aren’t worth the hassle. I don’t do dating, anyway. I don’t have time. I need to make it as a fighter and give Nan and Pa a comfortable life, something to enjoy before the Gods call them. But you never know, for a heavenly woman who has my breath catching and my heart beating all kinds of strange, a man may just make an exception.
I look around me to see if I can see her, but I can’t. I’m getting restless standing here. I’d much rather be sitting down where I can case the joint and see if I can spot her. I say to Jamie, “Come on, let’s go get a drink and take our seats. You can suck face with your bird later, bro,” impatiently looking around anywhere but at the she-devil burning holes in my head with her stare. Pulling at Jamie’s jacket I snap, “Bro?”
“Ok, ok! Right, coming. Fuck man, like I said the other day, take one for a spin.”
Looking him square in the eye, I retort, “I’ll leave giving the cheer squad issues for the rest of their lives up to you, brother.” I punch his arm as he pulls his bird in for more face sucking. Forget it, I’ll get my own fucking drink. This prick is dick whipped. I spin round on the ball of my boot and bam! Just like an Angel, she is right there; light falling around her as the sun hits her blonde hair, sending the perfect shimmering glaze around her. She’s coming out from around the side of the bleachers. And not too far behind, Dan Johns.
I watch her push him away when he leans close and then he grabs her arm. My inner rage swirls inside and I clench my fists. What the fuck is that walking dick up to? He better keep his hands inside his football jacket and far away from her perfect skin. Thinking about it as I watch her, she came from the side that the changing rooms are on. Could be a coincidence that they are both there at the same time, but something doesn’t seem right. I feel it, see her body move on edge. When he’s near her, her movements are jerky and the way he’s watching her; it has my hairs on the back of my neck standing up, as I ball my fists, just do it, Danny boy. One step too far and I’ll knock ya teeth down ya fucking throat and you’ll shit them out for the next month. Light hitting something silver catches my eyes; it’s in her hand. What the hell has she got in her hand? Is that a flask? Tammy jogs over and grabs whatever it is, takes a sip and passes it back to Sarah-Jane. I see Clarke and Dan smirk at each other. What the fuck’s up with that? I growl to myself. Damn, I’ll be watching her closer from now on. I’m not going to be too far from her side tonight, that much I know. Not feeling at all one hundred percent, with what my gut is telling me is dodgy.
Sarah-Jane
“GO AWAY Dan! Like really, just go away and leave me alone! I’m not interested in anything you have to say. I’m not in the place to want to be seen with, spoken to, or used by someone like you! I’ve told you so many times that I don’t date jocks. To be honest, I don’t date anyone, so you can back up and go whisper sweet nothings into one of the cheerleader’s ears.” Looking him up and down I say it in the best ‘get lost creep’ voice I can muster and it’s a challenge. I’ve got being polite ingrained into me, with speech lessons and etiquette classes from such a young age.
“Bad move Sarah-Jane,” he says, as he grabs my arm. I pull free with ease. Damn, that cognac has me feeling all types of strong. I
like it. Walking with my head back and shoulders squared, I go to walk away, this dick follows behind me so I retort over my shoulder.
“Look, Dan, I wish you luck and I hope you have a good game, but I’m heading back out and this – whatever you had planned – is over.” I stop as he comes up fast, stepping in front of me so as to stop me dead in my tracks. GOD, I look him dead in the eye. “Shouldn’t you be heading into a pep-talk, butt grabbing chat with your team about now?” Laughing internally at my own joke, I give myself a mental pack on the back. Good one, Sarah. That was brilliant.
He’s seething by the time I get that little line out. Good, this guy’s a douchebag. I go to step past him but he grabs my arm again and snarls, “You’ll pay for that,” he breathes into my ear with a taste of venom that sting the hairs on my neck.
Not wanting him to know I’m intimidated, I step back and spit out with as much bravado as I can muster. “Pay for what?” I ask, “Telling you how it is? Ok dude, sorry, I’m not like the other girls that chase you. I won’t be dropping my panties as quick as you wink. You’re just not that charming or interesting.” Laughing, I shake my arm free, just as Clarke walks around the corner. God, they both grate on my nerves. Here we go, round two with the jock squad.
I shut my eyes as he walks over asking, “All good here, kids?” in a weird tone.
I don’t hesitate before answering with a chirpy and firm “yup, sure is. We are done, aren’t we, Dan?”
“Right then,” says Clarke. “Well man, we’re ready when you are. Time to go play ball.”
He winks at me. Yuck. Could these guys be any more hideous? I start to move away but, before I can take two steps, Clarke is asking Dan if he has the flask for Tammy. Dan reaches into the back of his pants to hand it to him, but instead, he passes it to me. Clarke then asks me, so politely, that his fakeness makes me want to puke, if I could please give it to that hot piece of ass of his.
Broken (Reapers Reign, #1) Page 4