His teasing gaze softened. “Relax, baby. I’m not purposely trying to get you pregnant right now. I’m just saying that if you did get pregnant, I’d be over the moon. That’s all.”
I caught my lip with my teeth. Gabriel looked so fervent I couldn’t help but believe him—no matter how much it scared me. “You like me that much?”
“No. I love you that much.” He put me back on my feet. “Go take your shower. I’ll be back in a few minutes to join you.”
“Where are you going?”
Gabriel’s lop-sided grin quickened my breath. “To go get condoms from my apartment. Lots of them.”
“Lots?” I squeaked out.
“Oh, yes. Lots and lots of them, Emma. Boxes.” He leaned down and licked the corner of my mouth. “I’m going to fuck you raw tonight, baby, didn’t you know?”
My stomach dropped in craven anticipation. “You’re so sure of yourself.”
“No, but I do what I can to put the odds in my favor.” His fingertips stroked my side. “How am I doing so far?”
“Really, really well.”
He preened. “As I planned all along.”
“You, Sir, are not as all-powerful as you’d like to think you are.” I linked my arms around his waist. “You’re just spoiled. Simply spoiled and I’m not helping the matters any by giving you your way.”
Gabriel’s mischievous grin didn’t try to deny it. “Go now, baby. Go before I forget and give you twins right here, right now.”
Reluctantly, I let go of him. “How do you do this to me, Gabriel?” I didn’t have to explain further. He understood. He always understood me.
“Probably the same way you do it to me.”
I arched on the balls of my feet and kissed him sweetly. There was so much to talk about and go over, but right now I just wanted to revel in the rareness of being with someone who really understood me. Flaws and all.
“I’m so glad I found you again, Gabriel,” I whispered against his lips.
“I thought I found you.”
Laughter bubbled up in my throat. I leaned back, eyes closed. “I’ll crucify you for that. Later.”
“My palms itch for it, Emma.” Gabriel’s lips seared the tender spot behind my ear. “Be gentle to the man who loves you.”
I almost collapsed in a boneless heap. Somehow I managed to pull away and stepped into the shower. I peeked around the closed curtain. “Hurry, Gabriel.”
He lunged forward and captured my mouth in a heated, lusty kiss. Only when I was breathless and a near-amnesiac did he release me long enough to growl, “Wait for me.”
And just like that, Gabriel shifted the balance of power over to him. I knew it. I just didn’t care.
“Hurry.”
He left me with a wolfish grin and I waited. Just like instructed.
THREE
True to his word, Gabriel fucked me raw. Well, maybe not quite, but I could barely move after three plus hours of lovemaking. The sound of his steady breathing lulled me into staying sprawled across his chest. I walked my fingers down his side, delighting in the jump of his taut muscles.
This felt like home. This felt right. This felt like forever and I was too satiated to be scared of the consequences, even though I knew it was bound to gnaw away at my contentment.
Gabriel had joined me in the shower only a few minutes after leaving me. He didn’t say a word. Gabriel simply allowed his touch to speak for him. His hands faithfully washed my body, exploring every curve with tender care.
Hunger overcame me. I wanted him then and there. Gabriel’s physical reaction showed he obviously felt the same, but he didn’t take what I so plainly offered. Instead, he held me back to front. One strong arm claimed the area between breast and belly. The other slid further down.
Gabriel’s fingers danced across my damp flesh. He tormented me with feather-light strokes before delving deeper. I broke apart quickly, sobbing his name while my hips twisted against his fingers.
Then Gabriel made me do it again. And again.
Only when I clung to him limply did he lift me up and carry me off to my bed. Normally my mind would scurry to and fro as I wondered if I needed to change the sheets into something nicer than my worn, but comfortable, striped flannel set. I was too tired to fret.
Besides, none of this was really about the sheets, was it?
Gabriel pulled back the comforter and placed me carefully in the middle of the bed. He then sat down next to me and kissed my hand. I tried to pull him towards me, needing Gabriel to join me in bed. He resisted, easily proving his muscles weren’t just for show.
Gabriel was immovable, much like his will in trapping me inside his heart. Or maybe he didn’t trap me at all. Maybe I closed the cage door behind me myself.
I laid there and submitted to his lazy-lidded gaze. I imagined myself to be his precious concubine of sort, captured for his sole pleasure. I can’t deny that I warmed to the fantasy. My limbs stretched before rearranging themselves in what felt like artful display.
“What are you thinking?” he asked softly, throaty voice sliding over me like liquid silk.
I grinned. My gaze suddenly found the ceiling interesting. “I’m wondering how much would you have paid to steal me away?”
I peeked to find the corner of Gabriel’s mouth lifted in a gorgeous smirk. He played with me so easily. “I wouldn’t have paid a single cent. I would’ve simply taken you.” My hand found its way to his lips. Gabriel’s tongue flicked along the sensitive line between thumb and palm. “Do you want to hear how it happened?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I would’ve rode into town and immediately spotted you drawing water.”
“Water? So I’d be a town wench? Or a servant girl, perhaps?”
“I’m not sure what century you’re imagining, but in my imagination you’re far from a wench.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his haughty tone. Gabriel was perfect at sounding the aristocrat. “Really? Tell me more.”
“You were a neglected, untouched member of some despot’s harem. I, of course, could not allow you to continue in such tragic circumstances.”
“Ah, if I were a harem girl then you’d never see me. I’m afraid your story has failed.” I rubbed his lower lip, pushing lightly against the full curve.
Gabriel nipped my thumb. “I’m rearranging history to suit the story because I can.”
“Very well. Continue, my lord.”
He growled low in his throat. “Calling me ‘my lord’ like that will hardly make me want to spin pretty tales, Emma.”
“That’s not a threat, my lord.”
“Naughty girl. Now I’ll definitely tell our story.” Gabriel rested his hand on my stomach. “I invaded this despot’s kingdom, laying waste to any and all who stood in my way. I didn’t even have to force my way into the walled city. The open gates pleaded for clemency. I entered the palace only to be greeted by a kneeling army.”
I pictured the grandiose courtyard, enjoying the made-up story that only seemed romantic because of the man telling it. A psychiatrist could have a field day with the symbolism I’m sure. Still, I settled into the telling, wondering how I fit into Gabriel’s fantastical tale.
“What happened next?”
“I entered the inner court, expecting to find the soon-to-be-deposed lord waiting with a small army of guards ready to hack my body to pieces. Instead, I find you sitting by a pond.”
“I thought I was drawing water.”
“I was mistaken originally. Now hush.” Gabriel waited until I bit my lip as a sign of my silence. He petted me as reward. “So there you were, a glorious vision dressed in jade green. I summoned you to my side. Not surprisingly, you didn’t obey. Instead, you stood there with your chin raised up and dared me to do my worst. Reminds me of how you are now. Not much changes between lifetimes, do they?”
“How did you know I wasn’t bait?”
“Of course you were.”
He was quiet for so long that I had to p
rompt him to continue. “So then what happened?”
Gabriel fingertip drew an intricate pattern around my navel. “I approached you. You had blades in your sleeves, blades meant for me.”
“You weren’t afraid?”
“I wanted you more.”
“So did I try to kill you?”
“No. You stared me down. Just when I wondered when your knife would come for my throat, you turned around and guided me to your old master.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. I cannot account for what was going through your mind when you decided to spare my life. Maybe you thought you’d take it for your own later. Maybe you hated your former master and chanced a better life with me. I never knew.”
“Never?”
Gabriel’s beautiful gaze mine. Pride and yearning flashed within. “A woman’s secrets are always her own. A man can sooner move a mountain than invade where he has not been invited.”
Clever, clever man. I enjoyed his tact as much as I enjoyed his gift of fancy. “What happened next?”
“I gave the old lord a choice—his head and his kingdom or you.”
“Which one did he choose to give?”
“As if you didn’t know…you of course.” Gabriel leaned closer. His warm breath touched my collarbone. “I traded an entire kingdom to have you. My armies retreated and I rode away with the only thing I suddenly ever really wanted. The end.”
“That’s a beautiful tale, Gabriel.” I arched my back and was blessed by his lips on my skin.
“Hmm…you should’ve seen their honeymoon. Non-stop sex for those two! He almost lost control of his armies because he could barely gather the strength to hold up his sword. She nearly forgot the assassin she trained to be and became fat and happy with his babies for the next fifteen years. Thankfully her lightening quick reflexes saved many a toddler from a nasty tumble, don’t you know.”
Gabriel’s tongue stole a taste before sitting up. His lopsided grin didn’t quite match the assessing gleam in his eyes. “Still like the story—normal ending and all?”
“Like I said—it was a beautiful tale.”
“Glad to know you enjoyed it, baby.”
I reached out and cupped his firm jaw, charmed beyond all good sense. “I liked it so much I wish it was real.”
“Who says it isn’t?”
Before I could say another word Gabriel settled his body on mine and kissed me until I couldn’t see straight. His hand fisted my hair, tugging harder the longer we kissed. I gasped in pleasured pain and he immediately let go. Gabriel kissed his way down my body, tasting me intimately until I cried out his name. He then made use of the box on my nightstand.
The next hours were passionate, toe-curling, can’t-remember-my-own-name kind of lovemaking. Gabriel made me explode so many times—on my back, on my knees, on my side, and over him. Gabriel loved me hard, soft, and everything in-between. It was better than anything I could’ve ever imagined.
And normal. Completely normal.
I couldn’t deny my disappointment.
The end of contentment begins…
I grimaced, knowing what I was going to ask and wondering if I was more a masochist than I ever suspected. I kissed his chest, savoring the taste of Gabriel’s skin. Fear branded me. I didn’t want to face my future or how I did or didn’t fit into his.
Maybe I could save it for another time?
“Emma, soon enough I won’t be able to walk.” His arms closed tight around my waist. “Have mercy upon my weary body, love.”
A miserable sigh seeped out of me. Avoidance seemed to be the best choice for happiness. It just wasn’t my way. Stupid me, right?
“Oh, don’t be sad, baby. We’ll be limp-legged together.”
Knowing there was nothing for it, I plowed straight ahead. “Gabriel, I need to know more about Embry.”
He tipped my chin up with one finger. His gaze no longer appeared sleepy and satiated. Distaste crawled across his countenance. “Do we really have to talk about her? Here? Now?”
“Yes.” Gabriel let go of me. I reluctantly sat up. Pulling the sheet over my chest and shifting in the bed until I sat next to him, I said quietly, “Here. Now.”
“What do you want to know?”
I had Gabriel there for the asking and suddenly I didn’t know what to say first. What I really wanted to know was how she had been his perfect match until he decided she wasn’t. Until Gabriel decided he wanted me and not her. And as long as I didn’t know the how then the why would eventually be my undoing.
Insecurity wasn’t my favorite emotion. So I started simply. “Are you afraid she’ll talk?”
“About what?”
“About your…needs.” I still couldn’t put a proper noun to it. His sadism and need for dominance was a shadowed room that I hadn’t been invited into yet. Maybe never. After all, Gabriel had gone against his nature and tried to pass as normal.
How could that ever hope to work?
“My…needs?” he asked with a teasing lilt. “As in my fondness for…you know.”
“Yes.”
Gabriel shook his head slowly. “I’m not worried. She knows the consequences.”
The ruthless glint in his eye made me shiver. Gabriel appeared like living granite. He looked so hard, so devoid of compassion, of weakness. It was an alien expression, one I didn’t usually see on his face.
“She wants you badly, Gabriel. Rejecting her leaves her very little to care about.”
“Embry’s love for me isn’t greater than her love of self. I have things on her as well. Trust me—she won’t talk.”
“What kind of things?”
Gabriel’s smile lacked warmth. “I’ll never tell unless she does.”
I let out a nervous laugh. Did he think I was nosy and gossipy? I mean, of course I was curious, but that wasn’t why I asked the question. I never wanted to really know about any of the women he’d been with. And I definitely would’ve preferred to have never been acquainted with the last one.
“I don’t want to know specifically. What I mean is how did you get anything on her?”
“I don’t go into any relationship lightly, Emma. I knew everything there was to know about Embry before anything progressed.” When I cocked my head in question, he clarified. “I had her thoroughly investigated.”
“I see.” My silence lasted only for a beat or two. “Do you investigate all of them?”
“Yes.”
I had to ask even though I strongly suspected the answer. “Even me?”
To Gabriel’s credit, he didn’t look away. “Especially you.”
“What do you mean?”
He reached out to play with my fingers. “I needed to know if you were with anyone—seriously that is. Were you married? Did you have any children? Were you free to be with me? Thankfully the answer that you were a workaholic with very little time for a social life came across my desk.”
I still wasn’t sure why I had yet to smack him or toss him out of my apartment. Really, my reaction to this invasion of privacy was way too lax.
“I don’t like it.”
“I know, Emma. I know.”
I worked my jaw. I loved Gabriel, had always loved him on some level, but I didn’t have to like all his methods.
“That’s how you knew I was single. I just thought you could see right through my lies.”
A tiny smirk teased the corner of his mouth. “There was that, but you also make a terrible liar, Emma. Really you do.”
I nodded, unable to deny that particular truth. Growing up where I did, I learned very quickly to despise the regularity in which people with money told lies.
There was the annual “I never told you that you’d have a raise next month. I said I’d consider it. I’m afraid it’s not in the budget.” Or “I don’t remember saying I approved your time off for this weekend. I’m afraid you’ll have to cancel your plans.” And of course “My husband would never have tried to take advantage of you. It’s n
ot in his character. Please leave my house immediately.”
In case you’re wondering, these were the lies my mother had to suffer. The ones I had to experience didn’t bear mentioning considering the gravity of hers. In short, I’ve despised outright lies, lying by omission, and obfuscation of any sort ever since the first grade.
Gabriel asked suddenly, “With everything that I’ve done, do you think I’m a creepy stalker? I know it’s not the normal way of things, but is it creepy?”
I seriously considered the question, wondering if he was after a glib reply or truth. “I’d kick the shit out of anyone else who’d do even half of what you’ve pulled.”
“My guts thank you for not kicking them. Seriously though—answer the question.”
“Sometimes. Usually. More than normal. Definitely not healthy.”
“I think so too.”
“Then why do you do it?”
Gabriel sighed. “Because I can’t help myself. Rather, I don’t want to help myself when it comes to you.”
Judge me if you will, but my heart responded in a dark obsessive way. I understood exactly what he meant. We were both caught up in something strange and probably unhealthy, but it didn’t matter like it should have. Nothing mattered except to keep this going.
“How do you know I won’t end things with you over how you’ve handled this?”
“I don’t.” He gave me another smile, this one tinged with sadness. “I’m baring myself to you in the hopes that you won’t.”
“Would you let me go?”
He sat there silent for long moments. “I already answered that today. Do you want me to say it again?”
“I’ll do anything short of murder...” was what he said earlier about keeping me. I believed him, but it wasn’t enough. I needed something more concrete. I needed to know how far Gabriel would go or not go. I had to know if there were limits to Gabriel’s ruthlessness.
What I needed to hear might have the power to tear us apart.
“Would you do something to Embry if she doesn’t cooperate?”
Gabriel grew very still. “What are you really asking me, Emma?”
How I kept my voice steady was beyond me. “I think it’s pretty clear.”
Bad for You (Mad, Bad, & Dangerous to Love) Page 3