Toho leaned forward. “Really? Are you sure? Because I will do anything to—”
Aoki stopped him with a hand over his. A dangerous thing to do, but reassuring Toho was all that mattered now. “I promise you didn’t.”
Toho lightly grasped his hand. “Then what’s wrong? You can tell me, can’t you, Aoki-san?”
The question made Aoki shiver in spite of the warmth from the fire. How honest should he be? He already knew Toho’s feelings for him. The young man had expressed them from the very first moments of their reunion, and Toho’s ardent attention to him remained clear. “I… uh… I don’t know what to say.”
Toho was quiet for a few moments. Gently he released Aoki’s hand. “I’m sorry, Aoki-san. I shouldn’t have pressed you. That was insensitive of me.”
A sigh escaped Aoki. Toho’s gallantry only stirred his own guilt. He had the perfect opportunity to remain quiet and go on as usual. Except for one thing. He knew Toho. His sweet friend would continue to wonder whether he really had done something wrong, convincing himself that Aoki simply didn’t want to tell him for fear of hurting his feelings. “No, it wasn’t, To-chan. You weren’t insensitive. I have been acting strangely toward you.”
Toho threw up his hands. “I knew it. I knew I’d done something to offend you. Ever since that day I was chopping wood and you wouldn’t go with me to the river, I have felt the change in you. Please, Aoki-san, I beg of you, tell me, so I can correct it.”
“My behavior isn’t from anything you’ve done to offend me, To-chan. No one has been a better, kinder, more devoted friend than you have. I am the most fortunate person in the entire world. I’m sure of it.”
“Then what? I am desperate for our friendship to be restored. I never want any tension or discord between us, ever.”
“Nor do I.” Aoki took a deep breath, staring into the fire, as if he could draw the courage he needed from the glowing ash. How strange for someone who had been with so many men, now to be frightened and awkward with one certain man! “You’re right, though. I began acting differently from that moment you were chopping wood. Because… when I looked at you, standing there, I began to… my body… I felt alive again and it frightened me.”
“Alive?” Toho looked genuinely puzzled.
“Yes, alive. The way I used to be, before… what happened with… Sozaemon.” Saying the ronin’s name was still difficult and brought with it so many roiling feelings of guilt and pain. Yet the image of his loving friend Toho, bare to the waist, chopping wood, the power in his movements, the flexing of his arms, back, and thighs, and the tingling awareness all through Aoki’s body, also made him understand all the things Hirata had been assuring him of concerning what had happened with Sozaemon, that the perversion had lain solely in the attacker and not the victim. Aoki hadn’t at all been Sozaemon’s first victim. Yet thanks to Sho, he’d been the last. “What I mean is… you were so… handsome, standing there, the sun shining on your… muscles. In that moment, I began to feel alive again.”
He watched his confession register on Toho’s features. As understanding lit Toho’s eyes, his jaw dropped slightly open. “Ohhhh.” Toho blinked several times, as if the concept of stirring someone’s desire was completely alien to him. Indeed, having grown up with such protective fathers, it may have been. “Aoki-san, you mean, you….” In the glow of firelight, Toho’s cheeks darkened. “You felt desire? For me?”
Aoki nodded. “Yes. So now you see why I’ve been so upset.”
Again, Toho looked puzzled. “Why should you be upset about that? We love each other.”
“Yes, we do. But To-chan, it can’t be right. I’m supposed to care for you. I’m… older.”
In the next breath, Toho surged forward. He grasped Aoki’s shoulders. “Aoki-san, how could it be wrong to love me that way? I’m a man. A man who loves you more with each passing moment. I just look at you and my breath leaves me completely. Why can’t you see me as a man?” His gaze bored into Aoki’s.
Aoki returned his stare, unable to answer. As the moments passed, he watched another expression come into Toho’s dark eyes.
Something was upsetting Toho enough to make him lift his hands away and sit back on his heels. “Or is it something else? I’d thought maybe it was because I was born a peasant and not a samurai, but I know that’s not true.” He paused, while the night sounds of crickets and frogs filled the silence between them. “You still love my father,” he muttered. “Sho is the one who avenged you. Sozaemon no longer lives because of Sho, not me. You’ve loved him all along, even though his heart only belongs to Hirata.”
Aoki watched Toho’s enthusiasm and passion drain from him, like water wrung from a rag. Toho’s broad shoulders slumped. “I knew it. I was afraid of that. Even though he told me I would never have to compete for his love or yours.”
Oh dear! This was terrible! He could not have Toho believing he was still so attached to Sho that he couldn’t love another, especially when he did love another. Not just another. The very young samurai in front of him. That was the truth, a truth of which he felt completely unworthy. Desperation to end Toho’s suffering moved him to find the needed words. “To-chan, no. It’s not like that. I swear to you. I would never give you a false reason to cover the truth. Sho is my dear friend. He brought you to me. He brought the love into my life that changed me forever.”
His words caused tears to well in Toho’s eyes. The droplets reflected the light as they slid down his cheeks and became trapped in the ebony stubble on his jaw. “Do you mean that?”
“With my whole heart.” Now Aoki found the courage to pick up Toho’s hand and squeeze it. Toho’s callused skin was warm and dry to his touch. “To-chan, when your father used to visit me in the teahouse, I had never met anyone else like him before. He showed me that there are good and kind people in the world, people who want to protect those who can’t protect themselves. He changed my entire outlook on life. That change helped me walk a path I might never have walked, one that led toward goodness and love, rather than bitterness. That is a great gift, and for that I have always loved him.”
“He did that for both of us, didn’t he?”
Aoki blinked his suddenly gathered tears away. “Yes, he did. But then, he brought you to me. Someone who needed me. Someone so good and wonderful. What we have between us has been the sweetest thing in my life. I love you more than I love the theater. I would leave the theater in a heartbeat if I had to choose.”
“Really, Aoki-san?”
“Oh yes. It’s just that… oh, I never ever imagined I could make someone feel the way you do. I’ve never inspired such feelings in another. I just can’t believe it.”
“Believe it, Aoki-san. I beg you, believe me.”
Before Aoki could say another word, he found himself in Toho’s arms. The young samurai squeezed him tightly against his chest, his large hands pressed into Aoki’s back. “Aoki-san, thank you so much! I knew you loved me!” he murmured and then pressed his face into the curve of Aoki’s neck.
Aoki surrendered to the embrace. Aside from the heat and hardness of Toho’s muscled torso against his, the passion and innocence of Toho’s declarations made Aoki melt against him. How unbearable to think Toho had gone even a moment worrying about his friend’s love! Aoki’s own tears slipped freely down his cheeks now, absorbed into the soft material of Toho’s kimono. “Of course I do, To-chan.” Toho’s clean scent filled him, so musky and male and….
Aoki felt the shift, in his own body and in his friend’s. Toho’s awareness of their closeness changed in the same moment as his own. Toho’s breathing deepened slightly.
TOHO’S NERVE endings crackled with energy. Aoki-san was gazing back up at him the way he’d always hoped for. Those large dark eyes, soft lips, high cheekbones, all framed by Aoki-san’s flowing ebony hair, made Toho feel as if he were drowning in the most delightful pool, floating heavenward. “Aoki-san,” he whispered, no longer able to contain his feelings from spilling out, “I want to kis
s you so badly.”
Aoki’s lips parted slightly. His delicate hands squeezed Toho’s shoulders a bit more snugly. Aoki moved the tiniest bit closer and tilted his face upward.
Toho blinked again. He’d had no training, no preparation for this kind of love. The way he felt, he would throw himself onto Aoki-san and devour him with heated lust. Not knowing what to do made the pressure in his groin painful and his brain fuzzy.
Understanding seemed to warm Aoki’s gaze. “To-chan,” he murmured, “press your lips to mine and don’t worry.”
Aoki’s words made fiery darts of sensation in his chest. Leaning forward, he hovered close, feeling Aoki’s gentle breath against his own lips. Never had he been this close. Aoki’s scent, a flowery perfume, invaded his senses. No one could ever be more beautiful to him. Toho dared inch closer, and closer, until their lips touched. The contact made a whimper escape him. Aoki’s fingertips slid from one of his shoulders to the side of his neck, silently beckoning him to continue.
Toho closed his eyes, the sensations concentrating all into this first, beautiful, exquisite kiss. Like butterflies’ wings, he brushed lightly at first, then most firmly. The tip of Aoki’s tongue brushed his. The erotic touch made him moan softly, but then stoked his hunger. Letting one hand pass down the fall of Aoki-san’s incredible hair, he licked more deeply into Aoki’s mouth.
Aoki released a sigh and his willowy form felt as if it were melting under Toho’s hands. Aoki seemed to be loving his kiss, his touch. Nothing could have been better. He let their kiss deepen, grow more wild, their tongues sliding erotically against each other in heated passes. Toho’s mind blurred and he felt himself leaning over, not knowing whether Aoki was pulling him or he was pushing, but he found himself pressed against Aoki, on top of him, Aoki on his back on the futon.
Toho broke their kiss and gazed down at Aoki, whose hands caressed his back sensually, down his spine and then… lower, over his ass cheeks, which he lightly squeezed. Toho pulled in a breath. Aoki’s eyelids fluttered, his lips were parted, his smooth pale skin glowed. He looked… happy. “Aoki-san,” he breathed, “you are the most beautiful person I ever laid eyes on.”
Aoki-san took on a dreamy yet emotionally touched look. “Thank you, To-chan,” he murmured back. “That’s how I feel about you.”
Toho pulled in a breath. His gaze dropped to Aoki’s lips again, which he claimed in a new kiss. The soft suction of their lips and tongues together played in the air, mixing with their murmurs and sighs. The wonder of their bodies pressed together made Toho’s senses melt together in heightened awareness. He then felt his own hardness below pressing against Aoki-san’s through their thin clothing. Instinctively, he undulated his hips, his body hungry to feel closer and closer to Aoki’s.
Suddenly air touched his bare skin and he realized Aoki had pulled up his kimono. Gentle tugs loosened his loincloth, and Aoki’s warm fingertips slipped under it and caressed his buttocks.
Toho groaned into Aoki’s mouth. His body felt at once grounded in the sensual bliss from their contact while his soul felt as if it were floating above them, propelled by their loving. He lifted away from their kiss, eager to taste Aoki-san everywhere. He dropped little kisses along Aoki’s delicate jaw and down the side of his neck.
Aoki sighed happily and tilted his face up, giving Toho more access to the sweet curve of his neck. Toho followed that curve downward, urged on by the way Aoki seemed to rise to meet his lips wherever they ventured, to his collarbone, his shoulder, and the top of his chest. Toho carefully tugged open Aoki’s kimono so that he could kiss more delicious skin. He kissed his way across to Aoki’s tawny nipple, which he licked and teased hungrily, driven on by Aoki’s pleasure cries and by the way the tiny disk hardened in response to his tongue.
“Oh, To-chan!” Aoki cried. “Yes! Yes!” Aoki’s fingers flexed and squeezed at his ass and back, telling Toho without words how much pleasure he was feeling.
Eager to make Aoki feel ecstatic, Toho kissed a path over to Aoki’s other nipple and gave it the same loving, sensual treatment.
Aoki’s hands slipped to Toho’s hair, cradling his head, his fingers agitating against Toho’s scalp. “To-chan, oh, please, I want you so.”
Desire surged through Toho’s whole body. He looked up and into Aoki’s eyes. Aoki’s face was flushed, his hair mussed, his lips swollen from their earlier kisses, his dark eyes gleaming. Aoki loosened the sash of his kimono enough to pull it aside, revealing his nakedness. His pale skin gleamed in the firelight. His graceful, slim form beckoned, making more surges of need course through Toho. “Please, To-chan, touch me,” he whispered.
“Yes, Aoki-san,” Toho murmured back. “Whatever you wish.” Obediently, he smoothed his hand over Aoki’s chest, caressing, sliding his touch up Aoki’s neck and over his delicate jawline. He kissed Aoki again, deeply, then, locked in their kiss, let his touch venture down to the places he hadn’t yet explored. Aoki gently grasped his wrist and guided him, over his stomach and down.
Toho’s fingers covered Aoki’s slim cock. The hardness jumped against his hand, and Aoki moaned into his mouth. He guided Toho’s touch up and down in gentle strokes, then lower, over the small sac between his thighs. Toho groaned.
Aoki parted his legs and continued guiding Toho’s hand. He pressed Toho’s fingertips against his hole and bid him to rub and explore. Toho let himself feel the tiny opening, the tightness giving way to openness as he dared to gently push in.
Aoki moaned and spread his legs farther apart. He pulled from their kiss. “I want you inside me, To-chan,” he breathed. “I want nothing more.”
Toho’s vision blurred. He was panting from the intensity of desire. “So do I, Aoki-san,” he managed to say.
Aoki smiled, a beautiful smile that curved his lips sensually. He reached for the oil he had been using on his hair and poured a little into his palm. Reaching down, he pulled Toho’s loincloth away completely and smoothed it over Toho’s cock. The slippery friction made Toho groan and pant.
“Now, we’re ready,” Aoki said and bid Toho to settle between his legs. He guided the head of Toho’s cock to his opening. “Go ahead, my love,” Aoki murmured. “Push and we will be joined.”
Toho obeyed. The head slipped in, forcing his breath to catch. A sensation like no other invaded his entire lower body, driving him on. He thrust his hips forward, and slid in, deeper and deeper, until their bodies met.
“Oh! To-chan! I’m so happy now!” Aoki’s smile widened. He closed his eyes, his head tilted back. “Please, love me until you explode.”
Obediently, Toho let himself go. The friction against his length drove him irresistibly. Aoki’s sweet moans and the way he moved his hips only made Toho wilder. Their panting breaths mingled. Aoki squeezed Toho’s ass cheeks and caressed his hips. The pleasure of that touch heightened his own pleasure, made him feel so… manly, pleasuring his great love, whose delicate back arched.
“Oh, yes, To-chan! Yes! I’m healed and restored!” Aoki cried and his climax splashed onto Toho’s chest.
The feel of the warm creaminess on his skin made Toho’s hardness surge. The pleasure crested, building, until he could no longer contain it. The wave of pleasure gripped him, holding him captive. He could only ride it until it had subsided and he collapsed lightly onto Aoki, who caressed his back lazily while their breathing returned to normal.
Aoki sighed, the sound definitely one of contentedness. “To-chan, thank you so much. I have never felt so happy before in my life.”
The words propelled Toho up on one elbow so he could look down into Aoki’s face. The satisfaction Aoki claimed did seem to appear in his sweet smile and peaceful eyes. His and Aoki’s bodies were still joined. He too felt relaxed and satisfied, in a way he never had before. And yet, that troubled feeling never seemed to leave him, the nagging inner criticism that he had not been the one to avenge Aoki. Would that worry haunt him the rest of their lives? He caressed Aoki’s hair away from his forehead. “I’m so glad
you feel that way, Aoki-san.”
Aoki’s smile faded. “I do. I never thought to feel this way. I couldn’t have imagined it. Yet….” He reached up and touched Toho’s cheek. “Something is troubling you. Did I do something wrong?”
Toho pulled in a breath. “Of course not. I…. It’s just….” He looked away.
“Please, To-chan, you must tell me. You and I never have had secret feelings from each other, have we?”
Toho sighed. That much was true. They had always understood each other deeply, from the very beginning of their friendship. “Well, I’m… I still feel terrible that I am not the one to have avenged you. I worry that this fact will bother you.”
Aoki cupped Toho’s cheeks, bidding him to make eye contact. Aoki’s expression was firm, loving. “To-chan, listen to me now. For one thing, you know that your father was haunted by the fact that Hirata had also been violated long ago, and he believes that if he had been there, it wouldn’t have happened. If he hadn’t avenged Hirata, he would never have rested. It is he who would have been haunted. None of us could wish that for him, could we?”
Toho glanced down. “No,” he murmured. “We couldn’t.”
Aoki’s thumb brushed his cheekbone. “Do you remember that half stone he used to wear?”
Toho felt a warm flush. “Yes, I do. He gave me that stone to wear way back when my uncle forced me to leave and go home with him and my aunt. Sho put the stone around my neck so that I would feel him with me and wouldn’t be so sad.”
Aoki’s smile returned. “Yes. I remember. Well, I used to ask your father all the time to tell me about the stone and the story of him and Hirata. I was so envious that your father had a samurai he loved so much and who loved him. I also envied Genji for having Daisuke, who adored him and built that theater just for him. I used to go on and on about it and ask Sho if I would ever find my samurai.”
Blossom of the Samurai Page 12