He crossed his arms. Thoughts were crashing together in his mind, a bass line that couldn't quite match the beat. On the one hand, working at animal shelters had been his and Di’s thing. After they had crossed paths a few times at the bar, she had finally asked for his number and took him to the local shelter. After they got married, they went back to the same shelter to pick up their dog. He wanted to keep those memories safe, away from anyone trying to write them over.
Underneath that fear, there was pure, joyous relief. After the years of hiding behind his manager or behind some other bullshit excuse and refusing to even talk about Di in public, he finally felt seen. He hadn’t felt like that since… well, since he and Di were together.
He tried to take a deep breath and found that he couldn’t. Maybe if he didn’t move, she wouldn’t notice that all he wanted to do was keel over with gratitude and grief.
He had created a layer of ice between his heart and the outside world. Perks of the job, he supposed. Di’s family was back in San Francisco. He chatted with her sister sometimes, but that always led to questions of when he would come visit. He hadn’t been ready to do that.
All the ice that had kept him protected after Di – was starting to melt. His mind blanked out; words slipped away from him. How did you thank someone for something so unwittingly generous?
“Thank you.” He swallowed hard. “I would like that.”
“You won’t be going alone.” She gave a jerky nod. “I’d be there. You’re still a rock star. And my client.”
“Scout’s honor, I won’t go AWOL again.” He raised three fingers in a mock Boy Scout salute.
One of the roadies flagged him. They had to get him mic’ed up. He gave them a one-minute”signal.
“When do we get to Sioux City?” He took a deep breath.
“Six thirty.” She glanced at her watch again.
“Let’s see if we can meet them for seven thirty.” He rubbed his chin.
She nodded, but made no motion to step away. Ronan couldn’t take his eyes off her. He wondered what she would be like away from the tour and the music, without her security badge on her chest.
The space between them crackled. It felt like the moment just before the lights came up: pure anticipation. On stage, in the dark, he knew where that anticipation would lead. Standing in a small makeshift tent in front of his head of security, he had no idea.
All he knew is that he didn’t want to stop.
Chapter 7
Amy
The sun started to break through the clouds as they pulled off the highway. The trees arched along the road had shifted to the burnt hues of autumn. They zoomed by the window, punctuating the skyline with shots of golden-apple yellow and a color that Amy could only describe as autumn orange.
Even though they were hours away from Chicago,, being in the Midwest immediately made her feel wistful. College had been so much felt easier than real life. She would bounce along the quad to her morning classes after spending the night at Brian’s. She knew she would see him again at lunch or maybe later in the afternoon. Their time was structured and their day was planned out. No surprises.
When she and Brian moved to LA, they were unprepared for what life there had in store for them. Their days were anything but planned. Work schedules were haphazardly stitched together – one of them leaving suddenly because work was available, the other left to occupy themselves on a Saturday – and Amy had no idea what the next day would bring.
Moving to LA had made her feel like an adult – in both the best and worst senses of the word. It turned out that she and Brian couldn’t manage outside of the idyllic structure of college life. They started fighting about ordering takeout for the third night in a row and then started really fighting about money. It was a long, painful descent into a breakup that left them both with broken hearts.
A dark part of her wondered if maybe it jusn’t wasn’t about her and Brian; maybe it was about her. It told her that she couldn’t manage a relationship in the real world. That she was always the one running out the door to take a shift at a club, always avoiding the topic of getting engaged. If her phone rang, she would pick up, even in the midst of a fight. Maybe the truth was that as much as her mom and sister wanted that happily-ever-after for her, she wasn’t cut out for it. The thought of living that boring, respectable life with Brian behind a white picket fence made her want to pull her hair out.
Now that same phone pulled her out of her past. She glanced at the caller. Her sister.
“You realize it’s only 6:30 right now.” She moved to the front of the bus away from the bunks, sliding the door separator closed behind her.
“Only 5:30 here.”The whir of an exercise machine came through the phone.
“But you’re always on the job after I get off work. And we’re both early risers. I figured I’d give it a shot.”
Amy could imagine her sister’s blonde ponytail bouncing as she talked. The woman was a real-life Energizer bunny. She rode an exercise bike every morning while sending out emails.
“Hubby still asleep?” Amy grinned.
“Yeah, I figured I’d let him sleep in.” Her sister sighed. “I’ll wake him up in an hour or so.”
Amy laughed under her breath. Yeah, sleeping late wasn’t a thing in the Sinclair household. When they were kids, their parents would always wake them up on Saturdays before 8 AM. “No need to waste the day away!” their mother would chirp.
“Mom keeps asking if you’re alright.” The whirring of the bike slowed slightly.
“This is a check-in call?” Amy groaned and knocked her head against the wall. The bus vibrated beneath her as they moved through the downtown streets. Alice had tried this when her and Brian broke up. She tried every tactic to understand why Amy had broken up with him. “Everything seemed to be going so well!” she had said.
Every time, Amy had batted her away with “I’m fine. I’m working.” The real answer was “because I don’t want to disappoint you. Of course I won’t tell you that my boyfriend and I are fighting.”
“This is a ‘your baby sister misses you’ call.” Alice pouted. “You’ll come visit when you’re back?”
Tall chrome buildings gleamed in the morning sun. Amy watched them pass by instead of answering. Her sister was based in San Diego. It would be nice to see her more. She just didn’t know how to see her without poking the bruise of her failed relationship.
The door separator slid open. Amy nearly jumped. Ronan raised his hands in silent apology.
She waved him off, gesturing to the phone. He ambled into the kitchen carrying a small backpack on one shoulder, looking rumpled in the best way. Shit–she did not want to be having this conversation in front of him.
“Ame?”
“Yeah. I’ll be back soon and we’ll do a thing.” Amy nodded. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Is the troll nearby?” Alice lowered her voice.
Amy flinched hearing her own nickname for Ronan. She wasn’t sure how to feel now that the title didn’t fit.
“Go back to exercising. I love you.” She tapped the end call button.
“You ready?” She turned towards Ronan. “We should be pulling in a few minutes. We can take the van. All the gear is on the bus anyway.”
“They don’t know where we’re going?” He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “I kept it vague.” She shook her head. “I’m with you, so everyone’s less worried.”
“Or they’re thinking you and I are sneaking off.” He gave her a smirk.
If he had teased her like that a few weeks ago, she would have rewarded him with a fake-vomiting face, or at the very least a customary eye-roll. But this time she just smiled and shook her head.
The tour bus groaned into a parking space, jostling everything that wasn’t tied down and bringing Ronan even closer to her. He placed his hand at her side. He smelled warm and comforting; she wanted to arch into him and relax. His mouth looked so soft, yet she was tempted to see if his five ‘o’ clock sha
dow dragged against her skin in the best way possible.
Amy swore she saw his eyes flick to her mouth. Maybe she needed more caffeine.
“Looks like we’re here.” She slipped under his arm and made a quick exit.
The brisk fall air gave her a shock when she stepped onto the pavement. Despite the early hour, the city was already bustling. The pounding of construction echoed against the faint hum of cars rolling along the blacktop. Her body still tingled from being so close to him. She shook the thought loose. They had a job to do. Or rather, she had a job to do.
She watched the guys get out of the van, then flashed her spares at them.
“Got everything you need from there?” She gestured to the van.
They nodded.
“We’ll be back in a few.” She put her sunglasses on.
“We won’t need him until later, anyway.” One of the guys slammed the door shut.
She slid behind the wheel. Oh god, she was planning on spending even more time alone with Ronan. First in the close confines of a vehicle and then surrounded by adorable puppies.
This was starting to feel like a very bad idea.
Chapter 8
Ronan
Pulling into the parking lot made Ronan feel like he was in his twenties again. He had the strange feeling that if he let Amy into this ritual of his, he would lose all the memories he had with Di. He wanted to hold those memories close and bat away any threats that could pull her away from him.
He remembered walking in so tentatively that first time. “They’re not going to bite you,” Di had told him. Then, with a wink she added. “Probably. You’ll learn quick.”
What would she think of today? He tried to imagine her with her pink-tipped hair and her leather pants.
You’re being ridiculous. Have fun. That sounded like Di. She had shot him a small smile, kissed him on the cheek, and told him that more times than he could remember.
On impulse, he had packed some nondescript clothing before they left this morning. He tried to justify it as he was packing. He would have an extra sweatshirt in case his shirt was covered in dog hair. Underneath all his reasons, he had another one. Since his security guard was with him, they didn’t have to go straight back to the venue.
What would it be like to hang out with Amy–not as a rock star and security guard, but as two adults?
“You must be Amy.” A woman greeted them as they entered.
“I really appreciate you letting us in early.” They shook hands.
The woman gave them a quick tour, showing them where they could find kibble and the best way to refill water bowls.
“The pups are in the back,” the woman added. “Most of them are sleeping. But I’m sure a few of them will be excited you’re here.” She looked between Amy and Ronan. As if sensing something, she clapped her hands together. “I’ll just be in the front if you need me.”
Then it was just the two of them again. Ever since last night, Ronan had been looking forward to this moment. He felt jumpy in his own skin, eager to get away from Amy to catch his breath but also wanting to be close to her. He remembered this feeling; wanting to know everything about someone.
Oh, shit. Was it a crush? Ronan went straight for the dog food. He would’ve done anything to get more time with Di. Being wealthy will get you a lot of things – the best treatment, the most luxurious hospital rooms – but in the end, it hadn’t made a difference. What did it mean that he could so easily find himself interested in someone else?
He took a deep breath and focused on the ritual of ripping open a bag, listening to the food bounce in the bowl.
“Okay, I can take care of their water bowls.” Amy crossed the room.
Just like before, they fell into a rhythm. Without any of the dogs around, the silence between them started to balloon.
Ronan heard the telltale click-clack of nails as one of the dogs stepped out of its cage towards Ronan. The sound of food must have tempted it. Ronan held out his hand, letting the dog sniff him. He was a little bit bigger than Max had been – a mutt, probably? Judging on the ears, this pup probably had some Pit in him.
The dog started licking his hand, searching for breakfast. Ronan scooted the bowl closer. When the dog buried its nose in the bowl, Ronan gave him a loving pat.
The kerfuffle brought a few other dogs into the center of the room. Ronan spotted a Dalmatian wearing a blue collar and an older German Shepherd tentatively came closer.
Amy placed a full water bowl next to the Pit. The German Shepherd approached her, ducking its head under her hand for a good scratching.
“Think the guys would freak out if we brought a dog onto the bus?” He snorted, imagining the wide-eyed looks of Sarah and the rest of the crew if he brought on a 40-pound dog. Space was already tight. He couldn’t imagine how wild a big dog would get without a yard.
“You’re serious?” She leveled her gaze at him. “The company would be nice.” Amy shrugged as one of the larger mutts joined the German Shepherd and snuffled under her hand.She leaned in closer. “I don’t have any treats for you.” She scratched behind the dog’s ears affectionately.
“It would be. But you’ve never seen a big dog with too much energy.” He melodramatically shuddered. “Our shoes would be ripped to shreds and the table would have teeth marks in it.”
She laughed.
“Okay, fair point.” She leaned in closer to the Shepherd. “Maybe when I’m back in LA. That way, you can run around all you like.”
“You’re headed back to LA?” The balloon in his chest deflated slightly.
“After tour. I’m looking to stick around there, get some local work.” She kept scratching the dog’s ears. Ronan couldn’t blame him for the pleased look on his face. The dog interrupted her with a whine. “I know, buddy. We’re going to feed you soon. Promise. There we go, good boy.”
Ronan filled another bowl and slid it to her. Both of the dogs scrambled towards it. In their excitement, they knocked Amy to the ground, treading on her to get closer to the bowl, which kept getting pushed away.
“Hey there, bud. Whoa, easy there.” Ronan gave a low whistle that brought the dogs to attention. Amy lay sprawled on her back. A few wisps of hair had come loose from her ponytail and her chest heaved.
Because two dogs knocked her over. Totally innocent. Get ahold of yourself, Ronan, he chided himself.
“They just got a little too excited.” Amy groaned. “No harm.”
“I should’ve warned you.” He could’ve let her get herself up. Instead, he moved closer and offered his hand. “If they think you have food, you’re a goner.”
Her skin was smooth and warm when she took it. He imagined that instead of pulling her up, she pulled him down on top of her. He wanted to see if all of her was soft and warm.
He stayed close after she stood. They had just a few breaths between them. Ronan could feel his own heartbeat pick up, reverberating through his fingers. Her eyes flicked down to his throat and then stuttered on his mouth. If she got any closer, they would kiss. The space seemed to hum. He kept holding her hand. All he wanted to do was lean in.
“You’ve got a dog?” She whispered.
He kept holding her hand.
“Had one. Di and I adopted from a local shelter. He’s with her sister now.” It had been too hard to care for anything else after he lost her. He swallowed. He hated that that word was now part of his daily vocabulary when it came to one of the most important people in his life. “Hard to do on the road. But you find ways.”
She gave him a small, secret smile. “That you do.”
Chapter 9
Amy
Well, this was certainly a strange turn of events.
Not even a week ago, she would’ve cursed Ronan Cash’s name from LA to New York. Now, she was nearly pressed against him, feeling his hand wrap around hers–she didn’t hate it.
Okay, that was an understatement. She really liked it. Amy wanted to close the space between them and see if he taste
d like the coffee he had every morning. She wanted to see more of this sweet, caring man who was still mourning.
She didn’t want to kiss Ronan Cash, the rock star billionaire. She wanted to kiss Ronan, the man who loved coming to shelters to make sure every dog received love and attention.
She pushed away the fears that lingered. You’re going back to LA, remember? Don’t start something here. You’ll only get hurt.
A yowl cut through the moment like feedback on a mic, and they jumped apart. Amy looked back at Ronan and saw a flash of hunger in his eyes. She wanted to pull him into a dark corner and see what that look was all about.
The same pit-lab from earlier that was eagerly looking for treats in Amy’s pockets was now pacing in front of its empty bowl. He looked longingly between her and Ronan, then back down. Amy laughed.
“Alright, alright.” She grabbed an empty bowl and went to fill it with water. “It’s a good thing you’re so cute.”
With the dogs occupied, Amy felt even more aware of Ronan. She watched his hands flex as he gathered their food. The muscles in his arms and back tightened as he hauled bags back to the storage room.
A wet nose at her hand reminded her to stay focused. She grabbed a squeaky toy from the nearby basket and tussled with the Dalmatian.
She had been serious earlier. She considered what it would be like having a dog on the tour bus; a snuggly companion as she made her morning coffee. What she really wanted was a dog for her apartment. Her apartment was cozy, even for one person – but adding a furry friend would make the city feel a little less lonely. There would be someone, even a 4-legged someone, waiting for her when she got home.
If only she were home long enough to take care of a dog. Working concerts meant sleeping until two or three PM and then being gone from 4 until 1 AM. That was before she added in the random out-of-town dates that came with touring.
Till There Was You: Rock Star Enemies To Lovers Romance Page 5