“There are things going on here that I can’t explain,” she said, “but they’re happening – they’re happening to me – and I have to know why. Even if it doesn’t make any sense at all, I have to know why I’m here.”
“We’ll explain everything, Trisha,” Nim promised her softly. “Whether or not you believe us is up to you.”
Trisha’s eyes flitted to the door, as if her nerve was failing her, but she nodded and perched cautiously on the end of the couch. Butler sat beside her with his tablet in his hand, leaving her as much room as possible.
“Very well.” Nim rose to her feet and walked around behind her chair, as if she was standing at a podium at a board meeting somewhere. Hawk almost expected a slide presentation to appear behind her, but she just looked directly at Trisha. “I’ll begin at the very beginning of this tale, with the most powerful wizard mankind has ever known.”
Hawk shot a horrified look at her and then checked Trisha’s reaction. Her fists were clenched in her lap but she nodded. “I suppose you’re talking about Merlin,” she said quietly.
“Yes. We actually know very little about Merlin’s origins, where or when he was born, how he learned his skills, but we do know he had a vision. Not a Quest vision,” she clarified. “A vision for the future of mankind.”
“What do you mean?” Trisha frowned.
“Imagine what the country we now call England looked like more than a thousand years ago. It was a land divided into countless kingdoms, each one trying to conquer its neighbors, none of them strong enough to prevail for any length of time. War was just an ever-present part of life back then, but Merlin foresaw a brighter future, one of peace and prosperity.”
Trisha’s frown deepened, as if this didn’t sound quite right to her. “Okay,” she said carefully.
“He couldn’t make that future a reality without help. He needed a strong leader, someone whom the people could rally around and support. No one would follow a wizard, no matter how powerful.” Nim shot Hawk a reproving glance when he snorted and rolled his eyes. “They would follow a king.”
“Arthur.”
“No, at least not at first.” Trisha looked surprised. “The first man he chose was actually Uthyr Pendragon, the youngest son of King Constantine III. With Merlin’s help, after the usual sort of dynastic machinations I won’t bore you with, Uthyr became King of Britannia, which towards the end of his reign encompassed most of the British Isles.”
“I’m confused. So Uthyr Pendragon wasn’t King Arthur?”
“No. As it happened, Uthyr fell prey to his baser instincts. He fell madly in love with Igraine, the wife of one of his vassals, Gorlois, the Duke of Cornwall. They fought, as you might imagine, and Britannia began to fall apart.”
“So where does Arthur fit in, then?”
“Gorlois hid Igraine in his castle at Tintagel to keep her away from Uthyr, but Uthyr talked Merlin into disguising him as Gorlois so that he could enter the castle and,” Nim cleared her throat delicately, “have his way with her.”
“Why would Merlin agree to that? That just made things worse, didn’t it?”
“Yes and no. It was clear by then that Uthyr was not the king Merlin needed, but I believe he felt he could turn Uthyr’s lust into an advantage.”
“How?”
“Igraine became pregnant by Uthyr and had a son.”
Trisha thought that through. “Arthur.”
“Exactly. Gorlois died, Uthyr married Igraine, he eventually died, and Arthur became king of a very much diminished and divided country.”
“Camelot.”
“Not yet,” Nim smiled, “but we’re getting there.”
Trisha huffed impatiently, but she finally removed her scarf and coat and laid them on the floor beside her. “I suppose he had to pull Excalibur from the stone first.”
“Actually, that’s a common misconception. The Sword in the Stone wasn’t Excalibur. He received that later from the Lady of the Lake.”
“Are you sure?” Trisha asked doubtfully. “That’s not what I remember.”
“I’m very sure.” Hawk rolled his eyes again but he managed to remain silent. “The Sword in the Stone was one of several tests Merlin gave Arthur as he was growing up, to confirm that Arthur was indeed the man he needed. He also instilled in Arthur an appreciation for the value of peace and equality that was, shall we say, unusual for that era. Arthur founded Camelot on those principles and encoded them in the oaths of chivalry that all his knights swore.”
“The Knights of the Round Table, you mean.”
“Precisely. Camelot began a time of great wonder and enlightenment in Britain. A very short time, unfortunately,” she sighed. “The Dark Ages that followed persisted until the Renaissance four hundred years later.”
“What happened?”
“Two things, primarily. First, Merlin vanished. Camelot was too fragile to sustain itself without his help.”
“Where did he go?”
“We’re not sure. We believe he may have been imprisoned.”
“By who? I thought you said he was the most powerful wizard ever.”
“That doesn’t make him invulnerable.”
Trisha looked dissatisfied but she let the point go. “So what was the second thing?”
“Guinevere,” Hawk growled bitterly. Nim looked chagrined but she nodded.
“Unfortunately, Arthur shared a few of his father’s foibles,” she explained. “He too fell in love with the wrong woman. To be fair, Guinevere seemed like the perfect match at the time. She was the daughter of King Leodegrance, one of Uthyr’s old allies. She was beautiful and wealthy and Arthur was smitten immediately. However –”
“She fell in love with a handsome young knight newly arrived in court,” Butler said with a wry smile.
“Lancelot,” said Trisha.
“Yes,” Nim sighed. “I’m sure you know the rest of the story. Guinevere’s adultery was discovered by Mordred, a schism formed in the court, everyone chose sides, and civil war broke out. It all came to a head in the Battle of Camlann, where Arthur and most of the knights on both sides were either killed or critically wounded. Camelot collapsed shortly afterwards.”
They all fell into a gloomy silence, until Trisha finally stirred. “Okay, but what does all that have to do with me?” she asked plaintively.
“That’s a rather more difficult question to answer.” Nim tapped her fingers on the back of the chair as she gathered her thoughts. “You remember I said the Sword in the Stone was a test of sorts?”
“Yes.”
“Merlin set up many such tests, not just for Arthur but for all of the Knights of the Round Table. His intent was to weed out the weak and the cowardly, to ensure that Arthur was always surrounded by men who would uphold their vows and help him achieve Merlin’s vision.”
“You’re talking about the Quests.”
“Yes. I’m sure you’ve heard about the Quest for the Grail, for example.”
Trisha frowned in thought. “That was ... Galahad?”
“Self-righteous prick,” Hawk muttered.
“Yes,” Nim said with an irritated sideways glance. “The Grail Quest was a test of piety and purity, a test of character, really. There were many others in Arthur’s time, and many, many more since.”
“But how?” Trisha asked insistently. “You said Merlin created the Quests.”
“Correct.”
“But you also said Merlin disappeared.”
“Correct.”
“So where are the Quests coming from, then?”
“From Merlin, of course.”
“You’re saying he’s still alive?” The skepticism dripped from Trisha’s voice. “After a thousand years?”
“Absolutely.”
“How can you possibly believe that?”
“Because I’m a thousand years old as well.”
36
Trisha’s jaw dropped as she tried to process that simple statement. Oh my God, she’s completely crazy! How can she possibly think
I’d believe something like that? She searched their faces, wondering what she should do. Nim regarded her steadily, Hawk was frowning, and Butler hardly seemed to be paying attention. She glanced longingly at the door, tempted to just leave this madness behind once and for all. No, she told herself firmly, I have to see it through or I’ll never be able to sleep again.
She rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache building up behind her eyes. “What about you?” she asked Hawk. “Are you a thousand years old too?”
Hawk glowered at Nim, as if he resented her putting him in this position, but he nodded. “Yeah,” he said sullenly.
“And you too?” she asked Butler. He nodded, setting his tablet aside. He looked amused at the entire conversation.
“And your boss, Arthur Pendragon?”
“Him as well,” Nim said. “Along with all of the other Knights.”
“How many of you are there?”
“Not as many as there were, I’m sorry to say.” She looked forlorn for a moment. “Just eleven now, plus Arthur and myself.”
“Oh my God,” Trisha muttered, shaking her head. “You’re claiming you’re the actual Knights of the Round Table?” Hawk’s sour expression was enough to answer her. “So you’re really ... Sir Gavin?” she asked doubtfully.
“The story of King Arthur is known to everyone around the world, Trisha,” Nim reminded her. “Having the head of our company named Arthur Pendragon is bad enough, but to have his subordinates also share names with the legends of the past would be far too distracting. We’ve adopted names more suitable to the modern era.”
“I don’t understand. So you’re not really Gavin Hawk?”
Hawk rolled his eyes. “Gavin is the American pronunciation of my name. In French, it’s Gauvin. Back then, it was Gawain.”
“Gaw-win?” she repeated hesitantly. “So where does Hawk come from?”
He heaved a very put-upon sigh. “In Welsh, my name was Gwalchmai, which means the Hawk of May. And yes, in case you’re wondering, I was born in May.”
“So you’re Sir Gawain.” That sounded vaguely familiar but it took a moment for the reference to pop into her head. “You’re the Green Knight!” she gasped.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Hawk leaned his head back with his eyes closed, the perfect portrait of a long-suffering man at the very end of his patience. Nim laughed softly as Trisha looked back and forth between them.
“What?” she demanded. “What’s wrong?”
“The tale of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is one of the most famous in all of Arthurian legend,” Nim said, looking fondly at Hawk, “but almost no one remembers it correctly.”
“Gawain isn’t the Green Knight,” Butler explained with a grin. “He was challenged by the Green Knight.”
“And won,” Hawk growled. “Cheating bastard.”
“All right,” Trisha said carefully. “And who are you supposed to be, then?”
Butler managed a credible bow from his seat on the couch. “Sir Lucan the Butler, at your service.”
“You’re actually a butler?”
“It doesn’t sound very glamorous now, I’ll admit. Back in those days, the butler managed the royal court.”
“I see,” said Trisha, although she really didn’t. Her gaze turned to Nim. “Nim isn’t a normal name,” she accused.
“No,” Nim agreed, sobering, “but my real name is less familiar to most people and I’m fond of it. Nim is just a nickname of sorts.”
“So who are you, really?”
“I am Nimuë,” she said steadily, “the Lady of the Lake.”
If Nim expected Trisha to be impressed by that declaration, she was mistaken. “Oh my God,” Trisha muttered to herself, closing her eyes and forcing herself to stay put by sheer willpower. “So you’re the one who gave Excalibur to Arthur?”
“No, that was my sister. I stayed on dry land whenever I could,” She smiled at Trisha’s pained expression. “There were actually four of us: Viviane, Elaine, Nyneve, and myself, all sisters. Merlin placed Excalibur into Viviane’s keeping, since she was the oldest. She gave the sword to Arthur when Camelot was founded and took it back after it fell.”
“You just said you were the Lady of the Lake.”
“We were all Ladies of the Lake,” Nim explained mildly, “the four Queens of Avalon.”
Trisha shook her head, trying to sort through all this nonsense. It all seemed to hang together somehow, but it was obviously wild fantasy. “So Avalon’s a real place?”
“Very real.”
“So where is it?”
“Nowhere, unfortunately.” Nim looked irked for some reason.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Avalon and the lake in which it sits are hidden behind veils raised by Merlin to protect it. No one finds it unless he or one of the Queens wills it.”
“Or someone desperately needs it,” Butler reminded her somberly. Nim nodded.
“True. A few souls have stumbled across the lake from time to time, but they’ve been few and far between. No one has reached the island itself without our guidance.”
“But why? What was the point of all of that?”
“After the disastrous outcome with Uthyr, Merlin wanted to make sure the same thing didn’t happen with Arthur. He recruited us, taught us magic, and set us in charge of Avalon, to aid Arthur and his knights when needed. After Camlann,” she said, her face shadowed with sorrow, “we brought the wounded back to Avalon to heal their injuries and keep them asleep until Merlin returned.”
“But he never did,” Trisha guessed.
“No. To this day, we don’t know what happened to him.” Something in Nim’s expression made Trisha wary.
“But you suspect, don’t you?”
Nim was silent for a long while before she nodded slowly. “My sister Viviane was the oldest, most skilled, and most beautiful of all of us, and Merlin was particularly ... attentive to her. They often spent time alone together and he taught her skills he didn’t share with the rest of us.”
“So you were jealous of her?”
“No, not really, but over time we became concerned. Viviane began to publically question the wisdom of Merlin’s plan, arguing that mankind was too weak and thoughtless and cruel to govern themselves as he envisioned. She tried to persuade Merlin to rule himself, to use his powers to impose his will upon the world. He refused.” She fell silent, looking anxious and worried, and Hawk stirred in his seat.
“Merlin disappeared shortly afterwards,” he said darkly.
“Oh my God.” Despite herself, Trisha couldn’t help but be captivated by Nim’s story. “You think your sister did it.”
“Yes,” Nim admitted, “although we didn’t realize the truth right away. We didn’t believe anyone had the power to harm Merlin, not even Viviane, but she refused to help us search for him, claiming we were better off without him. When Excalibur was returned to her after Camlann, she hid it away, saying it was far too dangerous a weapon to leave about, even on Avalon. My other sisters and I tried to discover its whereabouts, hoping to use it to somehow prevent Camelot’s final collapse, but there was no hint of its presence in the world. After a time, I began to think perhaps she had done the same with Merlin.”
“Didn’t you confront her?”
“I did,” she said, “but that proved to be a mistake. She denied knowing what happened to Merlin and accused me of trying to steal Excalibur away from her. She called me a fool for believing in Merlin’s failed vision and told me that she would be the one to lead the world into the light.” Nim sighed heavily. “I knew then I was right and that we were all in terrible danger.”
“What did you do?”
“That same night, I removed the enchantments on Arthur and the knights who stayed loyal to him, intending to flee Avalon with them and find refuge elsewhere. Elaine and Nyneve came with us but Viviane discovered us as we tried to cross the lake.” She passed a trembling hand over her eyes. “My sisters gave their lives so that we co
uld escape.”
An aching knot weighed heavily in Trisha’s chest. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
It took a minute for Nim to compose herself enough to continue. “We got away but Viviane roused the remaining knights, the ones who fought for Guinevere and Lancelot, and gave chase. We lost many good men in the skirmishes between us, but I was finally able to disguise our trail and leave them behind. We fled to Scotland and hid in the highlands for many years, until Arthur decided it was time to start anew and rebuild the promise of Camelot. Fast forward several hundred years and here we are,” she said wryly, indicating the room with her outspread hands.
“So you never went back to Avalon to look for Merlin and Excalibur?”
“We tried many times,” Nim sighed. “We could never find it.”
“I thought you said you and the other Queens were the only ones who could find it.”
“That was true, once upon a time. Now I’m as lost in the fog as anyone else.”
“Why? What changed?”
“Someone or something altered the enchantments surrounding Avalon after we left. At first, I believed it was Viviane’s doing, to keep us from returning and taking Excalibur from her, but our agents report that she’s unable to pass through the veils either, though not from lack of trying. She lives in Paris now with her Chevaliers.”
“So she’s a thousand years old too?” Trisha asked dubiously.
“Of course. She’s much more powerful than I, remember. Anything I can do, she can do better.”
“Wait a minute. You’re saying you’re the reason Hawk and Lucas are still alive?” Nim inclined her head. “But what happens if you, um –?”
“Die?” Nim finished the question for her with a smile. “They will age as normal men do and pass when their time is done.”
“And this?” She pointed at Butler’s healed arm. “Is that you’re doing too?”
“Yes.”
“How is any of that even possible?”
Nim shook her head ruefully. “Magic, of course, but I doubt you consider that to be a convincing answer. Suffice it to say I have skills that most do not.”
“So you could make me immortal too?” Trisha asked uncertainly.
Gawain (Knights of Excalibur Book 1) Page 20