by Allie Adams
She drew in a deep breath. If she started the story, she wouldn't be able to take it back. Jumping in with both feet, she started. “It's about the subject we found.”
“You're going to have to narrow that one down for me.”
“Sam Green. He said he's part of this group called the Order, along with Damon Salazar. Have you ever heard of it?”
Travis paused. “Wait. I'm confused. Salazar and Green? They weren't even part of the same search.”
“Back to the Order. Have you ever heard of it?” She tried to cover the annoyance in her voice. She really didn't want to have to explain it all to him and hoped he'd pick up enough to play along.
“No. What is it?”
“Some cult group or something. Anyway, he said Salazar and he were both in it. Get this. The Order had something to do with Tommy's disappearance.”
Travis hesitated before saying, “Wait. Are you saying Tommy didn't wander off?”
“I, uh…”
“You're shitting me right now, right? You wouldn't keep something like that from me, would you?” When she didn't answer, he barked out a curse. “Are you kidding me? Kat, we're a team. You don't keep something like that from your partner.”
“I'm sorry, Travis. I couldn't tell you.” She thought about all the times Spencer used those same words on her and hated the bitter irony.
“Is there anything else you're keeping from me?”
“Travis, please.”
“Fine,” he growled. “You're telling me some secret society kidnapped a six-year-old kid for…what? For money?”
“Power. Martin Miller is also a member of the Order and has the power to shift the balance. They had to find a way to get him to their side. Oh, and get this. Damon Salazar was behind the whole thing.”
“What in the hell have you been smoking?”
“It's the truth.” Kat exclaimed. “I heard it all firsthand.”
“Let me make sure I have this all straight. You've been feeding me a lot of shit—I mean details—since you got back with Spencer. I don't think you've been sleeping much with all the extracurricular activities going on. Anyway, that aside…” He cleared his throat for dramatic effect. “Tommy Miller was kidnapped by a secret society that his grandfather belongs to in order to get him to vote their way or whatever. We find Tommy after you grill Damon Salazar, who is also in this secret society and conspiring against his girlfriend's father. Weeks later we find a guy also in this secret society who has an explanation for everything. Am I close?”
Well, when he put it that way it made her sound like a conspiracy theorist. “That about sums it up.”
“Uh huh.” He clearly didn't believe any of it.
Screw this. She didn't need to be made fun of. “You know what? Forget I said anything. I just have too much time on my hands.”
Travis laughed. “You most certainly do, lady. Listen, Sheila is calling me to get my ass to dinner. If I don't those girls will have everything gone before I can get any. It's a bitch having four kids, you know that?”
“You know what causes that, right?”
“Yeah I do.” He laughed again. “Have a good night, boss.”
“Bye.” Kat threw all of the papers on her table as she thought more about this so-called conspiracy theory. What if Sam Green made it all up? What if there wasn't a group called the Order? She gave up on that line of thought and settled into another, even more troubling one.
Her love life.
At the beginning of the week, she was ridiculously happy with her life. But then Tuesday happened. It started with the call taking Spencer out on that find, only to have his friend and mentor taken from him. Next had come the call taking her out to the search that changed everything. She started to really hate Tuesdays.
It was now Thursday. Had it really only been two days since her life went to hell in a hand-basket? It seemed like an eternity, yet still so fresh. Kat shivered and decided to stop thinking for the rest of the night. Instead, she stared at the TV, wishing her life's issues could be solved in a thirty minute sitcom.
A knock sounded at her door and she jumped up to answer. If Spencer decided to pay her a little visit, she'd slam the door in his face. Anyone else, she'd be happy to see.
She peeked through the peephole and spotted Mrs. Shelton, her nosy neighbor. Yep, it must be Thursday. It was Mrs. Shelton's day to complain about some noise Kat had made at some time during the week.
“Mrs. Shelton,” she greeted with a warm smile. They may not be friends, but the woman wasn't Spencer, and right now that made Kat happy to see her. “Won't you come in?”
Mrs. Shelton shook her head, causing her pile of gray hair to wobble, and peered at Kat through her horn-rimmed glasses. The deep red lipstick was a bit brighter than usual. Maybe she had a date tonight. As short as she was round, Mrs. Shelton always reminded Kat of who'd be cast as the annoying, elderly neighbor if her life were a movie. Short, fat, unattractive. Marinating in nasty perfume.
“I'm not here to visit.” She peeked in and scanned the apartment, probably looking for the shenanigans she always accused Kat of having.
“Was I making too much noise?”
“Besides that.” Mrs. Shelton pursed her lips and looked inside again.
Kat scratched her forehead in frustration. “Are you sure you don't want to come in?”
“Where's that man who was here earlier?”
Kat tilted her head to the side. “No one was here. I've been at work since eleven this morning and just got home about an hour ago.”
Mrs. Shelton shook her head again, knocking her glasses down her nose. She pushed them back up and pursed her lips again while shaking her index finger. “Now, I know he was here. Have you given your key to someone? I told you not to do that. Not only is it not safe, but it isn't right to have so many men coming in and out of your apartment like that. People talk.”
She stopped herself from telling the woman what she could do with her accusation. Yes, people talk, like her nosy neighbor. “Do you know what the guy looked like?”
“Oh, my word.” Mrs. Shelton brought her hand to her chest in theatrical shock. Kat could just imagine what picture poor Mrs. Shelton's mind conjured. The image of Kat opening and closing her door to about a million different men would surely drive the woman into hysterics.
She raised her brow and waited for Mrs. Shelton to recover. “He was tall, dressed all in black, and had a hood on so I couldn't see his hair.”
All black? Her heart lurched. And then she got pissed. Salazar was in her house? “Anything else?”
“Well, I asked who he was when he came to my apartment thinking it was yours. He told me to mind my own business, which I found rather rude.”
“Rather.”
She glared, clearly not amused with Kat's sense of humor. “You should really find yourself a good man and settle down.”
Kat's heart pinched. It was never going to happen. She thought she'd found a good man. Boy did she have a bad judge of character. “Do you know when the man was here?”
“Right before you came home. The funny thing is, I waited for him to come out.”
Kat's blood slowed. “And?”
“And he never did.”
Oh shit. Kat fought to not freak out. She turned and jerked her attention all around her apartment, fully expecting to spot Salazar or one of his groupies in black ooze out of the shadows.
“Kat? Are you all right? You seem a bit more pale than usual.”
She numbly closed the door on Mrs. Shelton, barely hearing her protests. She turned and glanced around again, too scared to move anything but her eyes.
And then she saw it. Her notes on what Sam Green told TREX were gone.
She grabbed her keys and threw her door open in one move. Running past Mrs. Shelton, who hadn't quite made it back to her apartment, she hurried down the stairs. To hell with this. She wasn't about to stay in her apartment another second.
TWENTY-THREE
Kat drove by his
house again and cursed herself for not knowing who else to turn to. Why would she run to Spencer after everything he'd done? They had nothing left between them, yet when she saw that he'd made it home, she finally relaxed. She'd been driving for over an hour now and it had to be close to midnight. He moved slow, clearly drained from what she assumed to be the strain of his job.
Would this be considered stalking? She'd passed his house three times before finally stopping. For some odd reason, just seeing him made her feel safer.
The irony of her situation dawned on her. She'd finally given in and fallen completely in love with Spencer again. He had seemed so receptive this time around, so caring, so loving and actually into the relationship. He seemed so worth her love. Damn, how wrong she was. And yet here she sat, watching him pace the length of the windows, trying to make sense as to why she ran to him instead of from him.
She pulled her Xterra up to the curb across the narrow inlet his house faced and slowed to a stop, then turned off her engine and threw her keys in the passenger seat. He continued to pace, checking the wall of windows that opened his house to the rest of the world. He stopped in the kitchen and poured himself something to drink, then walked to the window and looked out.
He stiffened suddenly as, without a doubt, he spotted her. He spun around and sprinted toward his front door.
Busted.
“Shit.” Kat hurried to turn her engine over. “Shit!” She reached over to grab her keys. Her hands shook so badly she couldn't get the key in the ignition. Spencer ran up the street toward her, yelling her name. She finally stuck the key in the ignition and turned the engine over.
“Kathryn! Stop!” He'd almost caught up to her by the time she pulled away from the curb and peeled away. With a hard swallow, she finally let out a breath. She looked in her rearview mirror to see him with his hands on his hips, shaking his head.
Knowing he would call her as soon as he went back inside his house, she debated turning off her phone. But then he'd just come over to her apartment and wait for her, which would be a waste of his time since she wouldn't be going back there tonight.
She grabbed her phone and waited for the inevitable. This had to be up there with one of the dumber things she'd done, and she'd done some pretty stupid things in her life. She knew better than to park where he'd see her.
How embarrassing. It wasn't bad enough her love life had hit rock bottom, but now Spencer knew how much she needed him. And she hated that.
Her phone rang and she brought her phone to her ear. Screw the ticket if she got caught on her cell. “Hi.”
“Kathryn? Baby, where are you? What's wrong?”
“Hello to you too,” she snapped, fresh pain tearing into her heart at the sound of his voice.
“Would you please come back here? I know it was you.”
“Well of course it was me, Spencer. How many people do you know drive a bright yellow Xterra?” She didn't even try to hide the crabby tone.
“You won't take my calls or return them. You don't want me to visit you at your apartment or at K-SAR. You've made it perfectly clear you don't want to talk to me, but then I see you sitting outside my house at midnight. So what's going on? Are you in some sort of trouble?”
You could say that. She debated whether to tell him about the guy in her apartment, but then he'd insist she stay with him in his house and pretend everything was fine.
She couldn't do that. Too much had changed between them.
“I'm sorry to have bothered you.” She rushed her words and then ended the call. Of course the phone rang again. She and Spencer could play this game all night. Or, knowing him, he'd end up doing something stupid like deploying TREX agents to find her and get them both in trouble.
“What!”
“What's going on with you?” His voice no longer held an agitated tone. It was soft, caring, and hurt to hear. He could be so tender when he wanted to be. It weakened her resolve to hate him forever. “Kathryn, what's wrong? Talk to me, damn it.”
She hated how well he knew her. A lump shot into her throat and she had to swallow several times before finding her voice.
“Nothing,” she whimpered, cursing herself for not having a stronger front against him.
“I'm not buying it. Tell me where you are. I'll be there in a heartbeat.”
“No.” She drew a sharp breath to regain her composure. She wanted to see him so bad she ached. But she also knew if she saw him right now, she wouldn't have the strength to stand up to him.
“Then at least tell me what the hell is going on.” His voice grew stronger as he growled into the phone. “Are you going to talk to me?”
“No.”
“Great, so we just sit here and listen to each other breathe.”
“You could stop calling me.”
“I could also triangulate your signal and find you that way.”
Kat wouldn't put that past him, either. “Just…” She didn't know what to say. “Do me a favor. Stop trying to make everything that's happened between us okay. It's not okay, Spencer. It will never be okay.”
He remained silent for several seconds. “Then we bury it and move on.”
“It's not that easy.” God how she wished they really could simply move on.
“Goddamn it. I know you, Kathryn. You're upset.”
“You think?” She let out a breath to calm down. She knew exactly why she'd parked where she did. She wanted Spencer to see her. She wanted him to do something to piss her off. That way she could redirect the fear coursing through her at him and turn it into anger. She didn't want to be scared. Being pissed, however, came second nature. It had to go with the hair.
“I miss you.” The warmth of his velvety voice sank into her, leaving her fighting to keep her emotions in check. She briefly closed her eyes to keep his words from fracturing the ice barrier she'd built around her heart. It was hard, but it worked.
“Please don't say that.”
“Where are you?”
She had no idea. Looking around, she collected her bearings and turned toward her office. K-SAR kept the Com Van in a shop on the property. She'd stay there tonight. Tomorrow she'll go back to her apartment with someone and take a look around.
“Heading back home.”
“Kathryn, please talk to me.”
“Kat. Remember?”
“Are we back to that?”
“We never left that.”
“Damn it, Kathryn!” He growled deep in the back of his throat, the sound twisting hard into her heart. She was an idiot to think it wouldn't turn into this the instant he spotted her. “Why won't you talk to me?”
“Because I don't even know you.” She'd made it to K-SAR in one piece and breathed a sigh of relief as she pulled behind the office and up to the shop.
“Please don't shut me out.”
“It hurts, doesn't it?”
“Baby, don't do this. Don't give up on us. Not again.”
She stiffened at his choice of words. Again? Oh, hell no. “You think I gave up?”
“You were the one who left.”
“At least I showed up in the first place!” She screamed into the phone, her fury too much to contain. “Tell me this, Spencer. Were you ever planning on telling me the truth? Or was this just another one of your secrets? Was us getting back together all part of your game? Did you fuck me to gain my trust so I wouldn't question you?”
“Don't,” he warned, his voice low and dangerous. “Don't ever call what you and I do as fucking. You know it's so much more than that.”
Tears burned as they invaded her eyes. “It used to be.”
He let out a shaky breath. It pulled at her. “You and I getting back together had nothing to do with any of the shit storm happening between us right now. I care about you. I want to be with you. That hasn't changed.”
She took a deep breath as a burning tear rolled down her cheek. “Everything else has.”
“Don't do this!” he roared into the phone. She choked on a sob. Th
e way he pleaded with her had her so close to giving in.
He drew in several ragged breaths. “Nothing has changed. You found out something you didn't like. It was over a year ago. Let's work together and move past this.”
She gripped the steering wheel at tight as she clenched her jaw. “Something I didn't like? I found out you let me take the fall for something you did. Were you ever going to tell me the truth?”
“I fucking tried!”
“At the search.”
“Yes.” He sounded so tired.
“How convenient.” She refused to believe that if she would have just listened to him instead of talking with that TREX agent about where to set up the lunch truck, they'd be in a different place right now.
“Damn you, Kathryn. Goddamn you.” He sighed wearily and she could have sworn she heard a sob in the back of his throat. She'd never even seen the man with a misty eye, let alone heard him sob. The thought of how upset she made him made her even more unstable, her emotions more volatile.
Her eyes swelled with the burning tears of realization, of humiliation, of heartbreaking regret. She fought to keep her emotions under control. She failed as another sob tore through the lump constricting her throat.
“Forgive me,” he whispered, his voice so full of raw emotion it took her breath away. “Just...” He paused. “Just don't give up on us. I can't lose you. Not after everything else I've lost. Please, baby. Don't walk away.”
She sobbed, openly crying and not caring that she'd broken down in front of the one man she wanted to remain strong in front of. “I can't ever forgive you for what you've done. Please don't call me again.”
“Kathryn!”
Kat ended the call, cutting him off as he cried out her name again.
And then she broke down completely.
TWENTY-FOUR
Kat blinked awake when the sun peered through the window and shined on her face, warming it. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. The clock on the dash read 6:00. She let out a shaky breath and stood to stretch out the kinks. The chairs in the Com Van were definitely not meant for sleeping.