by DC Bastien
"Shut it off. I don't want anyone watching that. I don't care. Record it all for science, but there's no way I'm going to watch a massacre of children, no matter the species."
"Yes, Sir."
"Saidhe, see if you can fly carefully through the mess and attach to the Whale. The last one didn't mind us - hell, didn't even stop to avoid hitting us - so I guess we'll be safe if you can latch on. And then... and then everyone do whatever you want for the next... however long you need."
"Yes, Sir," Saidhe said again.
But Vadim was already leaving.
***
[Ashroe: Oh my god you made me cry about nameless, faceless, Whaliens :,(]
[Sianor: Yeah, sorry about that. I got a bit upset myself.]
[Ashroe: Don't you ever doubt yourself, young lady. I wish I'd had half your talent at your age.]
[Sianor: No!! If I'm any good, it's because you're my mentor.]
[Ashroe: God, I wish.]
[Sianor: It okay with you if we take a brief break there, though?]
[Ashroe: Shit, yes. I think I need a cigarette and a scotch and I don't even smoke.]
[Sianor: ...was it good for you?]
[Sianor: Okay, sorry, that was a bad joke.]
[Ashroe: No, no it was fine. I have a bit of a sick sense of humour myself. It did actually make me snort out my iced tea, so thanks.]
[Sianor: It is one of many services I provide ;)]
[Ashroe: You maybe wanna livestream an episode together, and chat while we watch it? I could do with something.... cheery.]
[Sianor: Oh that would be great! You got a request?]
[Ashroe: Well, seeing as we're using him, how about M: First Class?]
[Sianor: I'll get the popcorn.]
[Ashroe: Sweet or salty?]
[Sianor: Both!]
[Ashroe: You are a monster.]
***
Chapter Nine - Mission: Identification
It was easy enough to find somewhere off-radar, somewhere that if you had the money, you could be who you wanted to be. Besyk was one of many places happy to make it happen. Sure, it meant using a large chunk of the Captain's emergency funds to overhaul the ship in-keeping with their own emergency identities, but if it was that or being shot down? Then Biann could understand the expense.
"Don't it feel weird having a new name?" Biann asked, as she ran her fingers over the humming line of not-Messenger's exhaust manifold junction.
"Not really. It is simply a string of letters replaced by another string of letters."
"I guess, but it's... you get used to your name. Cap'n has new identities for all of us, not just you."
"You only need to use those identities when you are communicating with non-crew members, Biann. You will remain Biann."
"I know. And I won't be different, but this... this Elshie? Who is she? Was she a real Hleen? Did she die?"
"Would you like me to investigate her past for you?" the ship offered.
"No. Thanks, but... if she was real, I'd feel rotten making her life worse for her, giving her a bad rep. Or if she was dead, would she approve? It's not like we did anything really bad, just... not legal."
"I am intrigued why the change of your designation would affect you so intensely," the ship said, after a pause. "It is a new concept to me. For me, it is merely a change in my registry, in my call and response, in my docking and handshake protocols. I know that you consider me to be Messenger, but before Captain Vadim acquired me, my name was a string of numbers and letters, not a word. I have been things before, and I will be afterwards."
"I guess. Names are... how we differentiate ourselves from others. It's when you realise something's about you, and not someone else. Growing up with Saidhe, it was when I worked out which name was me that I sort of worked out there was a me to begin with, not an... us."
"Interesting. If you were to exchange names with your sister, how would you feel?"
"That would be wrong! Just... wrong! Saidhe is all... the name is all elegant, to me. Biann is... quick. Hard-working and problem-solving. It's... me."
"But if you had been named the other way around, would you still think the same? Would 'Biann' mean the same things, or would it mean what you saw your sister as?"
"...that's... I don't know," Biann admitted. "Maybe I would be different if my name was different. Maybe I'd act more like she does."
"It would be impossible to know for sure. There are too many variables in play with regard to upbringing, to make testing definitive, even with identical siblings or clones."
"You always have to take things that science-step too far, don't you?"
If a ship could laugh, Biann would be sure now would be the time.
"If it would make you more comfortable, you can still call me Messenger, Biann. Or anything you would like."
"Yeah, well, you'll be renamed back to your original before long. Just so the Captain can say 'don't shoot' you."
"It is, indeed, regrettable how he can no longer make such a poor joke. Frequently."
"Mes, you're such a sassy bitch."
"I will take that as a compliment, Biann. Or should I call you Elshie, so you can get into 'character'?"
Biann shuddered. "Nope. B's fine by me."
"I find it interesting how you are so attached to your given name, and yet you do not protest when the Captain gives you other names. Or why he feels the need to be addressed by his rank at most times."
"It's not him, it's us calling him Cap'n. It's a mark of respect. And... pet names? They're not your full name, but they're like... shortcuts. And cute things. It means you are important to someone, if they give you more names. It's sort of like... how would I even explain it?"
"Do you feel a different person when the Captain calls you by your other names?"
"Yes. A bit. I feel like me, plus... plus that bit of me that only the crew sees. Like... secret me. I like it."
"I see. So when you call me 'Mes', you are speaking to a secret me?"
"Yep."
"Interesting. I have another question."
"Shoot."
"You call 'me' Messenger because I am the voice of this ship. You also wish to still call me Messenger even though the ship's designation has changed. Would you still wish to call me that if I was removed from this vessel and placed into another?"
"Uhm. Yes?"
"I see. And if all the parts of this ship were changed, replaced with new parts?"
"It's not the bits that make you someone, Mes. If you - and don't do it - cut off all my limbs, and put on cybernetics, I'd still be Biann. It's the... memories. The personality. That's what makes you... you."
"Even for an AI?"
"Yep. Has to be a thousand AIs with your specs, your voice patterns... and only one Mes."
"I see. Thank you."
Biann patted the manifold. "Don't mention it. I'm gonna go see how they're holding up with the paint job. Want to make sure you're not ugly."
"I would not be offended if I was. Paintwork is merely superficial."
"I wish people thought like you did, Mes, I really do."
***
[Ashroe: Whoops, I wasn't meant to get philosophical there.]
[Sianor: Hey, I ain't complaining!]
[Ashroe: We gonna go with your suggestion for the name?]
[Sianor: I think we have to XD]
***
"Well, now you've successfully bludgeoned my baby into obscurity," Saidhe started, trying hard to fight down a grimace. "What, exactly, are we going to do next?"
"First: she's not your baby. Messenger - sorry - Mission is mine. Second: you know full well I always have a plan."
"Indeed. They just aren't always good plans, Captain, so you'll forgive my worry. Those Humans looked like they were ready to rip the bows from my head as part payment."
"I'm going to take that slur against my species as not offensive, little Helio, because those guys gave me the creeps, too. But c'mon, Sai. Were we just gonna let the Judge rot in perfectly po
lite purgatory?"
"No. But now we're stuck. Are we going to remain outlaws permanently?"
"I... haven't finalised that part of the plan, yet. I need to work out why they wanted to interrogate him, what it is he knows."
"I can assure you that I know nothing of interest," the Judge said. He'd somehow stolen up on them without either of them hearing him.
"Geez, would you not?" Vadim snapped, hand over his heart.
"I apologise. I will endeavour to walk more loudly in future."
"Much obliged. And they had to be keeping you down there for a reason. Or were you ratting out on us?"
"Is there something I should 'rat you out' for, Captain Vadim?"
"...no."
"Then I was not."
Vadim narrowed his dark eyes at the Judge. "Then if they weren't picking your brains, why were you down there? You ask to turn traitor on another Judge, or Enforcer? Or you... looking to move up the ladder into even more poncy robes?"
"I was simply discussing my time on the Adquem station," he insisted. "Now, would you like to explain why you saw fit to break into the court?"
"...to save you."
"To save me," he repeated, his voice level.
"Look, I thought you were having thumbscrews applied to your... thumbs!"
"I assure you that my thumbs are still very much intact and opposable."
"Well... great. But if they weren't, then you'd be glad I'd come."
"If they weren't, I would be upset you did not arrive in time to save them."
"...so I was right!"
"Captain," Saidhe cut in, "...am I flying this ship, or are we going to stay on this asteroid until they strip all the external parts for salvage and eat us?"
"Humans don't eat other sentient species, how many times do I have to tell you that, Saidhe? I don't care what horror stories your father told you, I can put my hand on my heart and say I've never done more than lick."
"See!"
"It was... it wasn't like that! Gah! You--" he pointed at Saidhe. "You take us back. Not to Adquem. Take us to the most backwater planet in that sector. I'm going to find out what Avery wanted me not to find out, and what the Ur-court thinks I need to not-know."
"Is that wise, Captain?" Saidhe asked. "Surely they will be looking for us there?"
"Nope. They'll think we're smart and that we left. Far, far away. They won't think we'd be dumb enough to come back."
"You said it yourself, it's a dumb plan," the pilot replied.
"Yes, so dumb it's smart again. That's why I'm the Captain, and you're the flying-person."
"Pilot."
"So... pilot."
***
[Ashroe: Have I said recently how on-point your dialogue is? I could hear his voice!]
[Sianor: Haha, he speaks a bit like me. Same sort of patterns, I guess.]
[Ashroe: It's uncanny.]
[Sianor: I normally study transcripts until I can 'hear' them. And when I can, I just sort of... move out of the way of them.]
[Ashroe: Oh, I know what you mean. When a muse takes a foothold, I don't have to sit and think 'what would X do' because X is currently screaming at me to write it all down.]
[Sianor: I know! It's spooky. They talk about all sorts of random things when I'm out and about.]
[Ashroe: I sometimes let them snark at my friends or co-workers. I don't have the heart to tell them my best lines aren't actually me talking, but the voices in my head. It wouldn't go down well.]
[Sianor: Don't get me wrong, I don't ever lose control of my own behaviour. I always have the last say in it, but I... sort of let them? A bit. Take over. Because it's funny.]
[Ashroe: Like let them choose the colours you wear in the morning? Been there, done that.]
[Sianor: Why do I get the feeling that if/when we ever meet up, the conversation won't just be two of us there?]
[Ashroe: That would be pretty cool, you know. And I bet we wouldn't even need to say who it was who was... 'talking'.]
[Sianor: Do they sometimes argue in your head, too?]
[Ashroe: Constantly. Sometimes ones from the same fandom, sometimes I have the bizarrest of crossovers. Especially if they watch a show or a film and they start to criticise the characters, or the logic, or the science.]
[Sianor: Where I really feel like I fall down at times is not knowing enough of the things they do. Like, I imagine a pilot would come out with more specific things than I do about flying. I try my best, but it's the... like the vocabulary of the moving parts that fails me.]
[Ashroe: Yes, I know that feeling precisely. But you have to remember: who is really a pilot of a spaceship? How many people even know what happens in a real one, let alone a fictional one? Make up terms.]
[Sianor: I never... yes. Of course. Gah, you're too smart at times.]
[Ashroe: The things that worry me are when I talk about things that there might be real experts reading - that's when research becomes my lifeblood. I know from my own experience that I can be jarred out of a story by a misstep in something I'd know. Think I mentioned that before?]
[Sianor: Yes, we did. I know you're supposed to 'write what you know', but even with research it's impossible to know everything. And who wants to read about some sick college kid who watches sci-fi and writes weird stories?]
[Ashroe: There's a market for anything, you know. But the 'what you know' thing is kind of bull. Write what you can imagine and dream of, whatever jumps into your head.]
[Sianor: Even if I tried to write only my own experiences, sometimes the muses just have minds of their own.]
[Ashroe: Tell me about it! I once was trying to write just a simple episode tag, and it turned into a five-part mini-epic. I say 'mini' because you know I'm terrible and write sagas at the drop of a hat.]
[Sianor: But those times when things just happen, organically, those are usually the best things.]
[Ashroe: I know everyone's different, but... yeah. I plan out some of my work in advance, like the general direction or an aspect I want to riff on, and then I just let the muses go and occasionally pull them back into line. I guess I should be more organised about it, but... I find I do the symbolism thing and the fallacies and the metaphors and the echoing without thinking. One day someone's dead and I'm holding Chekhov's gun and I didn't remember I picked it up.]
[Sianor: That's because you're a writer. A real one, I mean.]
[Ashroe: I guess so :) I've always told stories... even before I put them down on paper or - well - bytes.]
[Sianor: *gets popcorn*]
[Ashroe: Haha, really?]
[Sianor: Come on. It's meta! Tell me a story about how you told stories.]
[Ashroe: That's just too recursive for me...]
[Sianor: I rarely get to talk about this side of my life, not in RL, anyway. It's so rare to find another artistic person, let alone one you click with.]
[Ashroe: Okay, I'll tell you, if you promise to tell me a story in return.]
[Sianor: Deal. You tell me about your storytelling, oh Homer, oh best beloved, and I'll tell you anything you want to know.]
[Ashroe: D'oh. Okay, I will hold that one in the bank... Well my very early stories were just the ones you tell with your toys, you know? I had all sorts of things. Animals, superheroes, dolls, teddy bears... I didn't really - I guess the modern term is 'gender-conform'.]
[Sianor: Me too! I mean, I liked dressing in pink, but I also wanted to have sword-fights. I just... wasn't good at it.]
[Ashroe: Yep. I liked cartoons for girls as well as for boys. I never really saw a problem with it, because I just thought a toy was a toy and I played with whoever was nice and interesting. Anyway, I thought it was normal to have elaborate backstories for my playthings, or missions to save the world. I wanted to be a hero when I grew up. I didn't mind if I had a sword, a whip, a gun or a dragon... I just wanted to do 'good'.]
[Sianor: Awww. Little you sounds so cute. And noble.]
[Ashroe: Little me was a precocious twat. But anyway. Whe
n I got a bit older, those toys got put away in favour of role-playing type games. And then everyone else seemed to grow out of it, and I briefly took up acting. I was fairly good at it, until I got all self-conscious teenager and then I stopped.]
[Sianor: Ugh, don't remind me of those years.]
[Ashroe: Aren't you still in them?]
[Sianor: Rude!]
[Ashroe: Then it all became internalised. Some of the stories were riffs off books I read, or shows I watched, but I didn't know anyone else did it because... well. It wasn't the done thing. And I had some vague tales floating around in my mental ether, but I never got to the point of writing them down. I just... everywhere I went, things were... narratives? Like I might narrate in my head how I was baking a cake, or I might put a voice-over man in there, doing a blurb for my life. Even if my life was dull.]
[Sianor: Oh my god, do you do that too?! When you're like making your dullest things into some secret mission to stop yourself dying of boredom?]
[Ashroe: Guilty as charged! And then one day I was messing about online, and I was probably looking for pictures of pretty people or jokes and I found fanfic.]