by Jackie Braun
“No, she can’t!” Danielle cried before turning on her heel and fleeing to her room. A slamming door punctuated her departure.
Colin was immune to his sister’s drama, but he scrunched up his face and asked, “If you kiss him, does that mean you’re going to marry him?”
“No. It just means...” The problem was, Julia wasn’t sure what it meant. Or even what she wanted it to mean. “It’s getting late. Let’s put the game away and get ready for bed.”
TEN
To Julia’s relief, Alec’s cooking stint at the family expo that weekend went off without a hitch. No knuckles got scraped. No pots boiled over. No smoke alarms were set off. In fact, from a public relations point of view, the segment exceeded her expectations.
Herman Geller had volunteered his five-year-old grandson, Sawyer, to act as Alec’s co-chef. The two of them were charged with making reduced-sugar cinnamon bars, a good fit given Sawyer’s high energy level. The tyke was rambunctious with a capital R and into everything, keeping Alec on his toes. More than one parent watching grimaced in sympathy when Sawyer knocked over a measuring cup full of sifted flour and then, as Alec stooped to clean up the mess, started adding eggs, shell and all, to the bowl.
Alec kept his composure and his sense of humor. While he came off as inept in the kitchen, he was endearingly so.
“I wouldn’t mind having him come to my house,” Julia overheard a woman standing behind her say to a friend.
To which the other woman replied, “Yeah, I’d be happy to give him a lesson or two in culinary basics.”
Ribald laughter followed. Julia didn’t know what possessed her, but she turned and said on a wink, “He’s a quick study.”
“Yeah? Lucky you.” The first woman nudged her in the ribs with an elbow.
Lucky? Julia still wasn’t sure. What she did know was that wise or not, she and Alec had crossed a line, and, even though she’d tried not to cross it in the beginning, they couldn’t go back. Nor, now that she was being honest with herself, did she want to. That left her with one choice: Proceed with caution, with eyes wide open.
She wasn’t worried about herself. She was a big girl and could handle the ramifications of whatever relationship grew up between her and Alec. But her kids were another matter.
Colin liked Alec. Of course, Colin liked everyone. He would welcome Alec into his life for as long as he stayed, happy to have someone to double-team with in Trouble and to regale with stories of his favorite action figures’ adventures. But would he grow too attached?
And then there was Danielle. Based on her daughter’s reaction Monday evening, there was no need to worry about her becoming overly fond of Alec. Julia had let her daughter sulk the remainder of that night, waiting till the following morning to speak to her. Danielle had made it plain that she didn’t want her mother romantically involved with Alec. Period.
“We don’t need him, Mom. He’ll mess up everything!”
After that pronouncement, she’d stormed off again. She’d been giving Julia the silent treatment ever since. Even her usual begging to attend art camp had ceased.
One question remained to answer: What did Julia want?
Every time she recalled the chemistry between her and Alec, she told herself she knew. She wanted a little romance. Okay, sex, too. She was thirty-two years old, after all. And she hadn’t had sex with a man since before Scott’s death. Perhaps that was what this was all about. An itch that needed scratching.
But love and a long-term relationship? She wasn’t sure she was ready for that. And she wasn’t sure Alec was even capable of either. Companionship, adult conversation, a few sparks and a little fire? Oh, he could manage those. Especially the latter.
“You’re quiet,” he said to her now as his car idled at a stop light after they left the expo. “What’s on your mind?”
Sparks, fire...sex. Oh, boy.
She flushed. “Nothing.”
His brows rose. “So, I see.”
Julia’s parents had taken her kids for the weekend. That left her with a block of free time to fill as she saw fit. She had errands to run, laundry to tote down to the machines in the building’s basement, an apartment in desperate need of cleaning. But whenever she looked at Alec, the only thing on her mind was picking up where they’d left off the other night before the smoke alarm sounded. Indeed, if there were a smoke alarm in his car, her thoughts would have set it off already.
She decided to change the subject. “I thought today went well. I heard a lot of positive comments while milling around in the crowd.”
“Yeah.” He grinned. He looked relaxed, one hundred and eighty degrees the opposite of the uptight, annoyed executive she’d first met in her office. “I actually had fun.”
“That came through.”
“Maybe the next time I cook for you, we won’t have to order pizza.”
The next time. He said those three little words with such ease that if Julia had been looking for strings and the possibility of commitment, she might have been tempted to believe they existed.
“Maybe,” she allowed.
“What are you doing tonight?”
“For dinner?”
“Yeah. For dinner.”
“I was just going to reheat some leftovers.” She had to clear her throat before she could add, “Colin and Danielle are spending the night at my folks’ house, so I’m on my own.”
Even then, the words came out sounding hoarse.
He glanced over. His relaxed grin was gone. In its place was the beginnings of a smile that caused her blood to heat. If he couldn’t read her mind, he was doing a good imitation of it.
“All by yourself, hmm?”
She nodded.
“Maybe we should do something about that.”
He was leaving the ball in her court, giving her the option to toss it back, as well as a graceful way to drop it. She could say no, come up with an excuse. Even something as lame as the need to finish housework would suffice, since they both would know it wasn’t the real reason she declined.
“Well?”
Saying no would be the smart thing. The responsible thing. The very thing she’d been doing for way too long. It was time for a change, the rebel inside of her whispered. She decided to listen to it and asked, “What do you have in mind?”
“A lot more than dinner, but we’ll start with that.” He winked and she swore she felt sparks shower her skin.
* * *
They made plans for seven o’clock. Julia left the choice of restaurant to him. She couldn’t think clearly enough to pick one. She could barely think at all. As soon as she got home, she grabbed the cordless phone off the coffee table in the living room and dialed her sister’s number in a panic.
“Help!” she shouted when Eloise came on the line.
“Julia? My God! What’s wrong?”
“I have a date.” She sank onto the couch.
“A date?” There was a smile in her sister’s voice when she added, “That doesn’t sound like an emergency as much as a reason to celebrate. Maybe even declare a national holiday.”
“Eloise.”
“Sorry. I’m guessing the problem is that the date is with your gorgeous client.”
“How did you know?”
“Lucky guess,” Eloise replied dryly. Then she asked, “Hey, don’t you have a rule against that?”
“I did. I should.” Julia pulled one of Colin’s hard-plastic action figures from behind her and wilted back on the couch. “Maybe that’s why I’m calling you. So you can talk me out of it.”
“What’s the real reason you want me to talk you out of it?” Eloise asked shrewdly.
“Well, for starters, I know this won’t go anywhere. I’m attracted to him. Really, really attracted. But I think it might be a mistake to start something.”
“Back up a step. Why are you so sure this won’t go anywhere?”
“How long have you got?” Julia replied dryly.
“As long as it takes. That’
s what sisters are for.”
And didn’t Julia know it. Eloise had always been her sounding board and biggest cheerleader, but never more so than since Scott’s death.
She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “First of all, I don’t think Alec is looking for anything permanent.” Except for a home, she thought, and felt an ache build in her chest. “He’s got some...baggage,” she told Eloise, and then filled in her sister on Alec’s parents and his emotionally sterile upbringing.
“Poor guy. Just goes to show that money can’t buy happiness,” Eloise said. “But if you like him...”
“I do. But what about Danielle and Colin? I have to think about them, too.”
“Don’t they like him?”
Julia worried her lip. “It’s a fifty-fifty split. Colin thinks Alec’s fun. Danielle doesn’t want him around at all and to drive home the point, she’s not speaking to me.”
Eloise didn’t sound surprised by this news. “Danielle isn’t going to like anyone you bring home, in part because she’s old enough to remember Scott. Besides, she’s a lot like you, Julia. Stubborn, picky and opinionated.”
“I’m not—”
“You are,” Eloise interrupted. “I love you anyway.”
“El, I don’t want Colin and Danielle to get too used to him being around. You know how kids are. They read too much into things.”
“Just the kids?” When Julia said nothing, Eloise went on. “So, if you’re so sure this thing with Alec won’t amount to anything, I don’t see the problem. Go out on a date tonight. Dress up and look gorgeous. Enjoy yourself. The kids are at Mom and Dad’s. You don’t have to worry about a curfew or paying a sitter. You’ve earned a night out.”
“I have.” She nodded vigorously, even though her sister couldn’t see her. “I’m being stupid, aren’t I?”
“An absolute idiot.”
Julia continued, working to convince herself more than her sister. “It’s dinner out at a restaurant. One date. I’ve done that a few times in the past few years. And it’s not like Alec and I haven’t spent time together already, so there won’t be any awkward silences or anything.”
“Right.”
“So, you don’t think I’m making a mistake by going out with him?”
“No. But I think you need to be honest with yourself. It’s not just a date. As you said, you’ve had a few of those since Scott died. You’re in a panic because you like Alec. A lot. And it scares you. A lot. We wouldn’t be having this conversation otherwise.”
“I do. And it does.”
“Take it one day and one date at a time.”
Julia swallowed and gave voice to one of her many fears where Alec was concerned. It wasn’t the biggest one, but it was on her mind. “El, I haven’t had sex with a man in a really long time.”
“Well, I can assure you, it hasn’t changed,” her sister replied dryly. “Are you thinking about...you know...tonight?”
“No! Yes. No!” She covered her eyes with her free hand, then parted her fingers as she added, “Maybe, but probably not.”
“As long as you’re sure.”
“I’m not planning it. But when I’m with Alec, things tend to...happen.” Another of her fears bubbled to the surface then. “You don’t think he’ll expect it, do you? I mean, on a first date. Even though this isn’t really a first date. But it sort of is.”
“Are you expecting it?”
“Not expecting it any more than I’m planning it, but I’ve been thinking about it. It’s hard not to think about it when I’m around him.” Even talking about him had her temperature threatening to rise.
“My advice is to be prepared, then, if you know what I mean.”
Julia swallowed. Hearing it put like that made her feel like a teenager, even if her sister’s suggestion made perfect sense. A strangled laugh slipped out.
“I feel like an idiot. I’m thirty-two years old.”
“As you said, it’s been a long time.” Eloise’s tone turned sober then. “I know how serious you take your responsibilities as a parent, especially since Scott died. You’ve put your kids first in all things.”
Julia straightened to a sitting position on the couch, her gaze on the action figure that was now lying on the coffee table. “They’re my top priority.”
“I’m not saying they shouldn’t be. But you’ve neglected yourself, your needs, and that’s not healthy, Jul. I’m glad to see you interested enough in a man to be, well, acting like an idiot.”
“Thanks. I think.”
“Have fun tonight.” Eloise waited a beat before adding, “Wear something so sexy that he’ll want to skip dinner.”
* * *
Alec’s mouth went dry when Julia opened the door. He’d seen her in professional attire and outfitted in casual clothes. He’d never seen her in a dress such as this one, with a neckline that scooped low to offer a tantalizing view of cleavage and a pair of strappy high heels that made her legs appear a good foot longer.
His breath came out on a ragged groan. He reached up to loosen his tie before he realized he wasn’t wearing one. He’d gone with a dress shirt and lightweight gabardine trousers.
“You look amazing.”
Her smile was a beguiling mixture of shyness and victory. “Thank you. I hope it’s not too much. I don’t get a chance to dress up very often.”
“Then we’ll do this right,” he decided. He’d made reservations at a much-hyped new French restaurant on Michigan Avenue that had opened earlier in the month. He wanted to give her a night out to remember. But now, it wouldn’t do. He pulled out his cell phone, sending her a wink as he dialed. “Georgio, it’s Alec McAvoy...good, good. And you...? Hey, I need a favor...yes, I know it’s last-minute and you’re probably booked solid, but... Yeah...? Eight o’clock sounds perfect.”
He disconnected and smiled smugly.
“Who was that?”
“The maître d’ at Fazzello’s.”
Her eyes widened. “You got us a table? But that place is impossible to get into, let alone at the last minute.” Reservations were taken months in advance.
“I know the owner. We attended the same boarding school.” They’d both been weekenders, as the staff called students who stayed on when class wasn’t in session. As such they’d stuck together. Alec reached out and ran his knuckles lightly down Julia’s cheek. “It looks like we have some time to kill.”
They were still standing in her doorway. He watched her swallow before she took a step back. “Then I guess you should come in.”
Her apartment was quiet without the kids. And free of interruptions, a fact they both were achingly aware of, if the way she was biting her lower lip was any indication.
“Do you want some wine? I have a bottle of red I could open.”
He shook his head. Took a step closer.
“Iced tea? I made a pitcher earlier today.”
“No thanks.” Another step.
She put a hand on her chest, blew out a breath. “I think we need to, um, talk about...about things.”
He was near enough now to touch her, so he did, fingering one of the thin straps of her dress. His heart was starting to hammer. Go slow, he reminded himself. He kissed her cheek, the spot just in front of her ear and then started down her neck.
“What things?” he asked when he reached her shoulder.
“I haven’t got a clue.” And then she cupped his face and kissed him back.
ELEVEN
June gave way to July, and July to August. Alec dropped heavily into a chair in his apartment’s living room. It was late on a Sunday night one week into the month and he’d only just gotten in. He’d spent the weekend in New York, where he’d taped a segment for a nationally televised morning program and spent all day Saturday at a huge toy store that was raising money and awareness for childhood diseases.
He’d gone alone, although Julia had called, texted and emailed him several times over the past couple of days. It wasn’t the same, though. He’d wanted her
with him.
He scrubbed a hand down his face in frustration, not so much amazed at how quickly she’d gotten under his skin, but how one-sided it all seemed to be. For the first time in his life, Alec was with a woman he actually wanted to draw closer, a woman who knew more about him and his dysfunctional family than any other ever had...and still liked him. A woman who wasn’t interested in his bank account or intrigued by the celebrities his parents knew. She liked him. She’d said as much. But she’d also established boundaries between them, an emotional cutoff point against which he was already butting.
He and Julia hadn’t spoken about her boundaries. They didn’t appear to be up for negotiation, although Alec knew she had adjusted them once already when the two of them became intimately involved. The old Alec would have accepted them. Hell, he would have been happy to have them. He wasn’t that Alec any longer. Looking back, he could see that he’d started changing the day he’d met her. Not his image, but his outlook. He was a better man now, of that he was certain. But was he good enough for Julia and her children? The question nagged at him.
The phone rang. He knew it was Julia even before he saw her name on the caller ID display.
“Isn’t this past your bedtime?” he teased in lieu of a greeting.
He pictured her wearing modest cotton and tucked into the very bed in which they’d made love the first time. A bed he had yet to return to. He hadn’t breached even the front door of her apartment since that evening. Julia came to him, when time permitted and the opportunity presented itself. Other than stolen kisses and hasty couplings wedged into their busy daytime schedules, they didn’t see one another. Each weekday evening, she went home to her children. Alec returned to his apartment—alone and increasingly edgy and uneasy.
“It is past my bedtime,” she admitted on a low chuckle. “But I wanted to say good-night.”
“I wish you were here to do it in person.”
It was a futile wish, he knew, so it surprised him when she said, “How about you hold that thought for Wednesday?”
“What’s Wednesday?”