"Well, I'd be lying if I hadn't thought about saving myself until marriage. The nuns had pushed abstinence with me from an early age, but I never truly believed in that. I'm not sure what I believe in when it comes to sex, I just know I never had to worry about it as an adult because no men looked at me.
"Matt's the one who encouraged me and made me realize I needed to stop hiding behind my weight. And just be happy, no matter what size I am."
Fucking Matt. I wished she'd stop bringing that motherfucker's name up. I'm going to start calling him Matt the asshat.
It's got a nice ring to it.
"I guess I just don’t understand how you could be in your mid-twenties and still be a virgin."
"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"
"Oh no. We're not talking about me right now."
"That, right there," she says, pointing at me. "You want to know my whole life story and I still know nothing about you. You avoid anything that requires you to open up and you dodge all of my personal questions."
"You don't want to know when I lost my virginity, Cassie. You don’t want to know about my screwed-up upbringing. Especially since it looks like I had the perfect life compared to someone like you."
"I do want to know. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know. Can’t you just tell me something about you? I know very little about you, yet I trust you for some reason. I trust you more than anyone I’ve ever met, and that scares me, so can you please just open up to me?"
I'll tell her, but she's not going to like it.
"I was thirteen," I mumble, suddenly ashamed at how young I was. At the time I thought it was awesome and spent the first week back at school bragging to all my buddies.
"Wow." She's silently watching me, waiting for me to tell her more.
"It was spring break and I took an early flight home from boarding school. I couldn't wait to be home. Looking back at it now, I have no idea why I was in a rush to get home. My parents ignored me whenever I was home.
"My mom was at the club planning a charitable dinner so she told me to take a cab home from the airport. When I walked into the house it was quiet. I called out for my dad but he must not have heard me. I went to the kitchen, deciding to make myself a snack while I waited for someone to get there. When I walked into the kitchen he had one of his interns pressed against the fridge. Her skirt was around her waist, her blouse ripped open and he was screwing her. Her bare ass was against our stainless steel fridge.
"I had read rumors of my father's infidelity in the press, but this was the first time I had actually witnessed it. When he spotted me I ran from the room and went upstairs. I hung out in my bedroom until he was finished with the intern. He didn’t apologize to me, or explain why he was cheating on my mom. Instead he said he wanted to take me out to dinner to catch up. I was ecstatic because I had never had time with my dad like that before. I thought he wanted to know what was going on with me.
"We drove for a little under an hour until we pulled up to this ratty-looking building. When we walked in it was dimly lit with women dancing on tables and there was a stage with a woman swinging from a pole, almost completely naked. My dad whispered something to one the doormen and then we went in back.
"I'll spare you the gory details, but my dad handed me a condom and paid one of the women to take me in a private room and fuck me. I probably lasted a good thirty seconds inside her before I came, but my dad was proud of me. Telling me I was finally a man, and men don't talk about their sexual encounters. It was basically his way of telling me not to say a word to my mom about what I witnessed between him and his intern."
"Did you tell your mom?"
"No. I didn’t want to hurt her. Plus, as time went on it was obvious she knew about my dad's indiscretions and decided to ignore them. She didn't want to lose her social status."
Cassie's quiet. She's back to playing with the hem of her shirt and I'm tempted to pull it off her so she has nothing to distract her.
"So now you know. Anything else you'd like me to reveal to you tonight?" I ask a little too harshly. I'm not mad that I told her, I'm mad that she's not saying anything.
"I think that's enough for one night. Maybe I should get going." She stands up from the bed, releasing her shirt from between her hands.
I don't want her to leave. I can't have sex with her now, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to let her go. I love being around her. Spending the evening with her was surprisingly nice. One of the best nights I've had in a really long time.
Standing up, I approach her and slip my hands in her hair, tangling them in the wavy mess. I lean down and kiss her softly. It's just a kiss, no promise of it leading to anything else. I just want to feel her lips against mine.
She kisses me back and it’s unrushed. We're just two people enjoying the connection. We remain like this for a few minutes before I pull my lips away from hers and rest my head against hers.
"Spend the night. We'll just sleep. I promise, nothing more."
"Why do you want me to stay if we're not going to sleep together?" she asks me, genuinely interested in what my answer will be. I tell her the truth.
"I'm not ready to watch you go."
It's silent for a long time. Our heads are still together and the only sound is of our breaths mixing together. Eventually she nods her head. It's a silent agreement to spend the night.
I pull her onto the bed and stand over her, in awe of her purity. "Do you trust me?"
She nods her head. It's another silent answer from her, but her trust in me makes my heart soften a little more.
I reach down to the top of her jeans and unbutton them before slipping them down her hips and pulling them off her body. She's in just a pair of black cotton underwear and her red t-shirt. I move away from her, pulling the gray comforter back so she can slip underneath. She silently follows my lead and rests underneath the covers.
I walk over to the wall with the light switch and turn the lights off in the room, before slipping off my jeans and pulling my shirt over my head, tossing it on the floor so I'm in just my boxers. I walk over to the other side of the bed and slip under the comforter.
I want to move over to her and hold her, but I’m afraid she'll think I want more. I don't want to give her the wrong idea and scare her off, so instead I stay on my side of the bed and stare up at the mirror.
She's watching me in the mirror, too.
With one look we're both saying so much to each other, yet not saying anything at all. We're letting our eyes say all the words.
Eventually Cassie lets out a deep yawn and her eyes begin to flutter closed. She turns in bed and reaches out for me, letting one of her arms fall across my torso. Her touch electrifies something inside my body. It's an entirely new feeling.
Everything I feel with her is new. In the past a woman's touch was only for one thing–to bring me to release. Cassie's touch means so much more. I'm starting to see a future with her and I want things I never wanted before. When my eyes close as I succumb to sleep, I have the image of Cassie walking towards me in a long, white lace gown.
Four
Cassie
"Mm." I moan, trying to sink deeper into the soft mattress as my hand stretches against something firm and warm.
I can't remember the last time I slept this well. I don't want to open my eyes and begin the day. I just want to lay right here, basking in the remnants of my dream. I dreamt I spent the entire night with Theo. We talked and kissed, a lot.
I felt safe in his arms and we shared an intimate moment together when he made me come so fiercely. It was the first orgasm I'd ever had that wasn't by my own fingers and I wanted to experience it again. Preferably awake.
I begin to roll over, trying to get more comfortable so I can fall back asleep and continue my dream where I left off. I move my hand so I can place it under my head and that's when I first realize something's off. I feel soft hairs under my fingertips.
My eyes shoot open and I'm staring at a sleep
ing Theo. His chiseled chest rising and falling with each breath he takes. Everything from the night before flashes in my mind and I realize it wasn't a dream.
I spent the night with Theo.
I feel the corners of my mouth raise in a smile as I lift one of my hands to my mouth, slipping my knuckle between my lips and biting down, suppressing the squeal that's trying to come out.
I spent the night with Theo!
Sure, he was a perfect gentleman and I’m glad he didn’t try to pressure me into having sex, but I had the best night of my life. He's the first person I’ve ever completely opened up to. He's the only person I ever told about my foster dad. I never even told Lucy or Matt. Just Theo.
There's something about him that forces me to let down all the guards I've spent years putting up. He's cocky, says exactly what he's thinking, and can be a real player sometimes, but maybe that's exactly what I need. I can tell he's a genuinely good person. He just needs someone to show him that.
Plus, he's Chris's best friend and Alyssa's godfather. That must count for something.
I look over his face and exposed chest. He looks completely at peace. There's no underlying stress or frustration, just pure relaxation. I like seeing him like this.
I slide my hand back and forth through the small amount of hair on his chest. His body is perfection. Even with his muscles relaxed I can see the outline of his six-pack. No matter how much I work out I'll never have a body like that.
Theo said he likes my body, but was he just being nice or did he truly mean it? He's used to being with women like Bailey, and Bailey looks like she could be on the cover of a muscle magazine. I have curves, stretch marks, and cellulite.
Oh God, I can't let him see my body in natural sunlight.
Trying my best not to wake him up, I quietly crawl out of bed and pull on my jeans that are lying on the bedroom floor.
Where is the confident Cassie from last week who could hold her own with him? I don't like the way I feel this morning. Second-guessing the way Theo feels about me and comparing myself to a woman I'll never look like, and hopefully never act like. I want to be with Theo, but I don't want being with him to change who I am.
What should I do?
Theo turns over in bed and I'm worried he'll wake up and see me watching him. Thankfully, he settles back into a deep sleep and I'm able to move around the room without him knowing.
I walk over to the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed where he lays. I need to get going but I want to leave him a note so he doesn't think I skipped out on him. I open the top drawer in search of a pen and paper, but instead find an opened box of condoms, lube and a blindfold. I shut the drawer quickly and walk over to the other side of the bed, hoping I'll have better luck with that nightstand. Inside the top drawer is a leather-bound journal and a copy of East of Eden by John Steinbeck.
Shutting the drawer quickly I leave the room and give myself a quick tour of the condo in search of a paper and a pen. I pass a spare bedroom, another bathroom and then I reach Theo's study. There's a large, antique looking desk set in the back of the room and I can see what I need on top of the desk.
I hurry, writing Theo a quick note and head back to his room to place it on the empty pillow I had my head on just a few hours before. As he lies there sound asleep, I have a strong urge to kiss him. I don’t want to leave, but I know I have to. I need to get some things in order. The most important of which is getting my confidence back. I don't want to be weak in front of Theo.
The next time I see him I want to be ready to spend the night with him, and not to just sleep. I need to buy some lingerie, shave my legs, get a bikini wax, and I should probably make an appointment with a gynecologist.
It's a good thing the Smith's pay for my health insurance plan.
I leave the condo quietly, shutting the door behind me and taking the elevator down to the underground parking garage. I have a full day ahead of me and I want to be ready for when Theo calls.
Five
Theo
Entry #1602
Cassie's everything I ever imagined and then some. Did God put her on this earth to tempt me? Punish me? Make me lose every ounce of willpower? Or is it a test, like Eve dangling the apple in front of Adam. Is Cassie's virginity my forbidden fruit?
I wake up to an empty bed, which is usual for me since I don't let women spend the night, but I let Cassie spend the night last night. I'm startled to see she's no longer sleeping next to me. I'm about to go look for her when I spot the handwritten note next to me.
Theo,
I had a nice time with you yesterday. Thank you for listening to me and for being so understanding about the whole virgin thing. I have plans today but I'd love to see you again. Here's my number. I'll be expecting your call.
Cassie
She's scribbled her number down and I immediately go searching for my phone to store her number for safekeeping. The time displayed on the screen says it's nine and I can't remember a time I ever slept in this late. I'm supposed to be at my parents’ house in an hour.
It's Cassie. Having her in my bed last night put me in a deep, peaceful sleep. I don’t know what to do with this. I want her, but after all of her revelations last night, part of me knows she's not ready to be with someone, especially me. She needs someone to be there for her and show her she's loved. She needs a friend.
I don't have time to sit and contemplate what I should do. With the limited time I have I head back to my room and make the bed quickly. Then I pull out my journal, add a quick entry for shits and giggles so my therapist doesn't get on me for missing a day, and then strip off my clothes to take a shower.
The warm water cascades down my body and although I need to leave shortly, I also need to relieve myself from the pent up sexual frustration. I slide my hand over my cock, fisting it tightly as I jack off to the image of Cassie above me, dry humping me as she moaned into my neck and came. In no time I shoot my seed against the shower wall as I call out Cassie's name.
Once I've rinsed off, I turn off the water, dry my body and get dressed in my Sunday best, or at least what my dad considers Sunday’s best. I look like a grade-A douchebag. I've got on a polo, khakis and a pair of suede loafers. Clothing I wouldn’t be caught dead in on any other day, but I do it for my grandmother. I'd do anything for her.
I pull up to my parents’ estate three minutes past ten and I already know the day’s gone to shit. I'm late and my dad's not going to let it go without commenting on my tardiness.
Gloria, my parents’ newest housekeeper, greets me at the front entrance and I follow her to the back porch where my parents and grandmother sit, drinking spiked lemonade.
My mother sees me first and smiles. "Theo, darling, where have you been? I tried reaching you on Friday but couldn't get a hold of you."
"I've been busy, mother," I reply shortly, walking over to her and bending down to kiss her on the cheek.
"Well, that secretary of yours wasn't helpful at all. She has horrible phone etiquette. You should consider hiring someone else. Do you remember Roslyn Steadmeyer? Her daughter just went through a nasty divorce and is looking for work. Maybe you could hire her. She's very pretty, Theo."
Only my mother would think good looks is a qualification for being a good secretary.
"Ursula's an excellent secretary, Mom. I'm not firing her because she didn't get you in contact with me. In fact, I believe Ursula deserves a raise."
She deserves it for fending off my mother.
I shake hands with my father and then walk over to my grandmother. She's sitting in her wheelchair staring up at me with a huge smile on her face. I lean in and kiss her cheek before giving her a tight hug. "Hi, Gran. How are you feeling today?"
She continues to stare up at me with her goofy smile and I smile back down at her. I know not to expect a response, but the little boy inside of me holds out hope every week that she'll finally talk and say something to me.
"Boy, I don't know why you continue to ask her
questions she's never going to answer. She hasn't spoken in almost twenty-five years."
My grandmother had a stroke when I was just ten years old. She's been mute and wheelchair-bound ever since, but my father treats her like she's not even there. Her brain function is fine so I know she understands everything that's said. I'd give anything to hear what she thinks of my father and the way he's treated her all these years. He should be treating her like a queen since she's the reason he's as wealthy as he is now. All of the money he has is from what he inherited from her.
"It's nice to see you, too, Dad." I sit down next to my grandmother and reach out for a glass of lemonade.
If I'm forced to be here every week then I need a drink or two to get through the day.
"Don't be a smartass. Did you get that file I sent you about where the city's red light violation income is going?"
"I'm sure I did, Dad. I just haven't had time to look it over yet."
"What's more important than looking over the inappropriate spending of our city's politicians? You need to know what you’re talking about when you're asked about this next week at the congressional dinner."
I practically spit out my lemonade all over the table. I glare at my father, pissed that's he's bringing this back up. "I’m not going to that dinner. I already told you this. Just because you make it your life’s work to kiss people's asses and lie to the American people for a living, it doesn’t mean I have to watch you or even support you. God knows you’ve never supported me."
He slams his glass down on the table. "Are you really disrespecting me in my own house, boy? In front of your grandmother?"
That's rich coming from him. He doesn’t give a shit about my grandmother. He's made it clear that he thinks she's too stupid to understand anything that's going on anyway.
Lane One: Seduction Page 5