by Ella Fields
My tongue grew thick. “You wanted to vow to me.”
“I do,” he said, then sighed. “I did.”
“You wanted to help rule this broken place.” I moved off him, my robe slithering over my skin, gaping open. “What has changed?”
Clenching his jaw, he forced his eyes to the fire. “Many things.” When he finally looked at me, his eyes were warm, but his voice was cold. “I no longer wish to play these games. It’s…” He cracked his knuckles, sighing as though it pained him. “I just can’t, Audra.”
I laughed. “What a load of shit. You’ve wanted a bigger title since you saw me sniveling in the gardens that night, and you happily snatched the opportunity before you.”
He shook his head as he rose, tugging his charcoal coat closed. “I was promised a title that was handed to someone else.” The gold of his eyes darkened upon meeting mine. “Can you blame me for wanting to finally take what I thought was mine?”
“I am not a toy to be taken,” I hissed, then flinched as Klaud’s words vaporized my mind.
Zad said nothing else. He merely looked me up and down with a finality that rocked my feet, then strode to the doors.
“Be warned, my lord,” I called, stilling my trembling hands. “If you leave, you cannot return as you see fit.” The wooden brush began to creak and splinter in my grip. “If you leave, you will lose any chance you had to fulfill your desires.”
His hand curled around one of the door handles, but he kept his back to me. “You speak as though there was ever a chance in the first place.”
Then he was gone.
The brush sailed through the air, shredding the wood of the closing door before falling to jagged pieces on the floor.
“So,” I said to Azela and Ainx the next morning in the throne room as my nails tapped against the silver whorls etched into the armrest of my seat. “Offense or defense?”
Ainx spoke first. “I say we strike. They’re waiting and probably growing weary of it.” Azela’s lips pinched, and Ainx looked at her, his brow furrowed. “You disagree?”
Her gaze moved to me, and I nodded.
“Majesty, I think we should wait for them to come to us. It looks better for you, and it also gives us the advantage.”
“But what of the innocents who will get caught in the bloodshed?”
Ainx had a point, but I waved him off. “We set up more patrols as far as the border within a half day’s ride of each other.” I smiled at the irritated glint in Ainx’s eyes. “Ease yourself. We will not let them enter the city or the villages.”
“We’re spreading ourselves too thin. What if we cannot stop them should they march?”
I leaned forward. “We can, and we will.”
After instructing them to inform the general of our plans and to prepare our soldiers, I dismissed them, then stared at the rays of light dancing across the throne room floor. Six guards stood at posts on either side of the room and near the doors.
I tried not to be offended, knowing the extra eyes were considered a necessary evil in times like these. Regardless of everyone’s concerns, I had to wonder if everyone in the Sun Kingdom wished me dead, or if the number of those who did simply outweighed those who didn’t or were indifferent.
My skirts exploded around me in a pool of black and silver as I stood and crossed the room, taking the far-left exit down the quiet halls.
Zad’s absence festered more than I thought the sneaky lord capable of. Still, this long life must go on, and I was growing tired of falling into every fanciful whim that tried to weigh me down until I could no longer hold myself up.
I was young, yes. I was the daughter of a monster, yes. I was a foolish female who’d handed her heart to the wrong person, yes. But for as long as I drew breath, I was a queen.
We’d all do well to remember that.
I made it to the kitchens before I finally registered what the distant noise was.
Screaming and shouting—loud, pain-wracked bellows.
I picked up my skirts and raced down the stairs, my heels clipping as I flew around each turn until I leaped into the entrance to the dungeon and found the gate wide open.
Azela was there, talking in hushed murmurs with another guard outside Raiden’s cell. A glance around showed more guards lingering, at least eight of them, who were all wearing differing looks of dismay and curiosity.
I stormed inside, and Azela turned to me. “They called me down as soon as I left the throne room, but I’m not sure what’s wrong with him.”
With my breath lodging in my throat, I inched closer to Raiden. “Leave us.”
“But my queen…”
“I said leave us.”
They did, yet I could feel Azela’s reluctance heavy in the air. Air Raiden was struggling to breathe as he gasped and sputtered, muttering words that made little to no sense.
I knelt close to the bars as he groaned and paced back and forth, tearing at his hair.
“What is wrong?”
He said nothing. It was as if he couldn’t even hear me. Wherever he’d journeyed in his mind, it wasn’t here.
He tugged and pulled, and I sent a flare of magic around him, removing his hands from his hair and pressing them down at his sides.
That only served to enrage him further. “They’re liars who never lied, but they did. They did.”
Over and over, he said the same words.
“Who lied?”
“All of them,” he spat. He continued pacing, then bellowed. “All of them lied to me!”
I wasn’t sure what to do. What to say. Or what to even feel as I watched him curse and mutter to himself.
When he fell into another loud rage, tendons in his neck bulging as he screamed at the ceiling, I took a seat on the ground and began to talk.
19 summers old
My black dress had a train that draped the length of the hall behind me as we neared the entrance to the gardens.
Eight handmaidens held it above the damp, leaf-strewn ground as we traversed the courtyard and entered the gardens that ebbed for acres beyond, all the way to the foothills of the mountains.
My corset, bedecked with circling glittering silver twigs that spiraled into the air over each breast, constricted with every future setting step I took.
I never thought I’d be happy, or that genuine warmth and excitement would be coursing through me at this moment. All my life, I’d known my marriage would be arranged, and I’d duly prepared myself for it. I’d prepared my heart to remain indifferent and reminded myself it was all just a business dealing. A way to ensure our lineage stayed true, and our reign continued.
I could never have prepared for him.
Gold and silver wrapped seats were laid out upon the long stretch of glowing green grass. It was clear of snow, but tiny icicles still glimmered upon the blades beneath the dawn dark sky.
He was wearing gold.
Golden breast plates, gold trousers, and a gold wreath of dried leaves and berries upon his head. His golden coat hung around his thighs, the sun and its flames engraved in the leather and suede. But as he took my hand in his, it was his touch, a warm promise, that took my breath away.
In the weeks leading up to that moment, we’d been inseparable. I was giddy at the mere thought of his name, and too far gone to feel embarrassed or angered over it. He was mine, and I was his.
And this was happening.
My eyes were pulled to the left in time to see Zad leaving the thick crowd. I blinked, wondering what in the darkness he was doing, and then he was gone.
“You rob me of breath.”
Looking back at Raiden, I flinched as something wet trickled down my cheek.
A tear.
Raiden’s brow creased, and then, much to the priestess’s displeasure, he stepped forward and cupped my face to catch it with his thumb. “I am honored that you would shed any emotion for me,” he whispered so low, I almost didn’t hear him. Likely to ensure our attending guests and my father, who was standing behind
me, didn’t hear. “But I don’t like seeing it.”
I took his hand, and then nodded at the priestess to begin.
His eyes were locked on mine as she spoke in the old language, then made us repeat after her.
“I vow thee,” I said, voice unwavering. “Eternally my love.”
Raiden grinned, and when it was his turn, he said loud enough for everyone, even those who were scattered throughout the farthest depths of the gardens, to hear, “I vow thee eternally my love.”
His lips were bruising as he gathered me to him and ravished mine.
Applause exploded, and little bells were rung, but it all faded away under the weight of his kiss and his hands holding me impossibly tight against him.
Dancing and drinking ensued as soon as we walked down the rose-strewn aisle, stopping to wave and shake the guests’ hands.
When we reached the end, Zad was there, stone-faced. A black vest covered his white dress shirt, and he came forward, his eyes steadfast on mine. “My princess, if I may have a word.”
I frowned, then laughed as Raiden squeezed me to him, his lips upon my cheek as he said to the lord, “I’m afraid you may not, for we have places to be and many people to see.”
But Zad’s eyes remained on mine. I could not read them, and I wasn’t entirely certain I wanted to.
Raiden cleared his throat, pulling away and taking me with him. “If you’ll excuse us.”
“Audra,” Zad said, an urgency in his voice I’d not heard before.
“Ignore him,” Raiden clipped. “There’s little he can do now we are vowed.”
Looking back over my shoulder, I stared at Zad, then turned back to the guests Raiden was directing us to. “What do you mean?”
“He’s obsessed with you,” Raiden said. “You cannot tell me you aren’t aware.”
But I wasn’t, hadn’t been, and I shook my head, laughing a little. “There’s nothing to be aware of.”
“Suit yourself, it matters not now anyway.”
Breakfast rolled into lunch in a feast that spread from the castle in a snakelike train throughout the city. Tradition demanded that the daylong celebration hold enough wine and food for an entire kingdom to eat. With the help of local bakeries, the cooks had been at work all week.
Afterward, my father was to escort me to a cabin in the trees in the secluded Forest of Promise just beyond the city limits. Every newlywed royal in the kingdom spent their vow night in the cabin and did not return until the following dawn.
“I look forward to that part the most,” I said to Raiden’s ear as we slowly traversed the crowds in the front courtyard, and he fed me glazed strawberries and wine.
“I most definitely do, too.”
“Do you do the same in the Sun Kingdom?”
I knew a lot of our traditions were archaic and therefore similar. However, I also knew that we were a continent split in two out of choice. The residents could choose to travel, stay a while, or forever call one place home should one of the two differing lifestyles suit them.
Though most didn’t choose to leave their kingdom of birth for good, the freedom to do so remained, and it made me wonder why anyone stayed in the Moon Kingdom.
Comfort and blood ties were curious and often dangerous things.
Raiden came to a stop at an open stall to fill a plate with fried goat and chicken. He licked his fingers as he handed it to me. “Eat, you’ll need your energy.”
I took the plate from him and picked up a piece of chicken, chewing as my blood began to thaw and heat.
Beneath an awning of a small alcove that overlooked the river, we sat. Raiden’s arm kept me flush with his side as he used the other hand to eat and wave at any passersby while filling me with tales of his land.
“You don’t have a cabin?”
“It’s a pool,” he said. “A pool that stretches to the edge of a cliff, where its waters trickle down to meet the River of Snakes below.”
“Where do you sleep?” I wondered how their skin would fare if they remained in the pool for twenty-four hours.
He chuckled. “Do you think they just remain in the water, fucking the whole time?”
I pursed my lips.
He squeezed me, then leaned in and licked my lips after I took a bite of chicken. I laughed and pushed his face away. “There’s a canopy of trees, almost like a small hut, with chaises and beverages and enough food to see you through.”
“Perhaps we could do this there too then,” I suggested, ignoring my distaste for the extreme heat.
Raiden pondered that, his lips twitching as he gazed out at the water. “I think that’s a good plan.”
We discussed more of his customs. How after a couple had vowed, they’d then be bestowed with an array of gifts as soon as they returned, and how the males didn’t like to suffer through the visits of guests. Not while the need to claim and cement the vows would continue to run hot every time their spouse was near.
“And they’re always near,” he said, his tone serious. “You’ll not be leaving my sight if I can avoid it.”
I grabbed his chin and kissed him quickly before a young girl and her parents approached to congratulate us.
As the sun began to fade, a line of onlookers stretched from the castle all the way to the edge of the city to watch us leave.
It seemed ridiculous that we had to make our way back to the castle simply to leave, but that was what we did. I was nearly breathless when we arrived, courtesy of stolen kisses either in front of everyone or tucked beside shopfronts.
The carriage, black with silver curlicue twisting over the metallic paint, was shaped like an apple. A driver opened the door, granting view of my father who was seated and waiting.
Raiden held out his hand to help me and my extravagant dress inside, before climbing in to sit beside me. The windows were open, city and country dwellers alike waving as their children raced after the carriage.
Raiden watched with a serene smile on his face while something foreign, something that felt a lot like peace, settled within my chest.
With his hand tucked in mine, I lowered my head to his shoulder, content to let him do all the waving and smiling at the people outside as the carriage bumped and rolled downhill.
My father broke the silence with a hard look at me. “Now that that’s over with, we’ll need to make me an heir and make it strong.” His eyes gleamed. “Can you even imagine the power?” He laughed, low and insidious. “We are a continent of fools for not thinking to combine the two sooner. Of course, you’ll undoubtedly lose many a babe trying, but it will be worth it.”
I heard Raiden’s jaw flex.
I withheld a biting retort, unwilling to let him steal the beauty from this day with fear or an argument I wouldn’t win.
His blank eyes flitted over me, and then he smirked. “Your mother looked much the same on our vow night, though not as dark. Dazzling in reds and pinks, she resembled a butterfly just waiting to have its wings plucked.”
I kept my gaze on the woven silver crown atop his head. “I wish I could’ve seen it.”
His eyes caught mine, unwilling to release them. “I’m sure she told you all about it before her…” He flicked his hand. “Untimely demise.”
The way he’d uttered the words, as if he hadn’t been the one to sentence her to a death crueler than many he’d sentenced before… I swallowed and forced my eyes to the window.
We’d reached the outskirts of the city, the sun cresting waving arms and smiling faces.
As Raiden’s hand squeezed mine while he and my father talked about a new trade opportunity with a neighboring continent of humans, I clung to that feeling inside me.
I wouldn’t let darkness seep in and steal a moment I would forever think of as my brightest.
As our brightest.
All too soon, the crowds were replaced by giant groups of rock and dirt-paved roads as we trundled closer to the woods. The sun had met the horizon, the forest dripping with enough darkness for the use of lant
erns. They sparked to life outside the carriage, and in the distance, my father’s guard, who rode behind us, could be seen carrying torches.
It happened with the speed of an inhale.
Raiden’s hand was in mine, and then it wasn’t.
The horses towing the carriage screeched and reared, and the carriage teetered, stealing all the breath from my lungs. Drivers and footmen bellowed curses, and then a round of thuds echoed as they hit the packed ground.
The door was flung open, and then soldiers wearing the Sun Kingdom’s colors were hauling the prince out of the carriage.
His shock was enough to get him out but not enough to contain him. Fire lit the world ablaze as he roared and unsheathed his sword.
But it was too late. The door had slammed shut. A sword had been speared into my father’s head through the window, catching him wholly off guard.
I stared at his gaping mouth and rounded eyes. I stared and I stared, and they stared back at me, emptying of life as his dark soul seeped through his burgundy blood and fled his body.
He groaned. A male of his age didn’t die easily, a sword in the brain or not.
My eyes closed, and when I reopened them, reality settled in with enough violence to have a scream scrape up my throat, slither over my tongue, and knock at my teeth. Inhaling deeply through my nose, I swallowed the urge as the acrid scent of my dead father tainted every particle of air.
Smoke scorched my lungs as the carriage began to burn, and my heart pounded even as it cried. Where was he?
His fire… the carriage.
They’d pulled him out. He was their prince. They wouldn’t hurt him. They wanted to hurt me. More than hurt me.
It settled bone-deep. He wasn’t coming to help.
With shaking hands, I rummaged through the compartments of the carriage, cursing the fact I hadn’t had the mind to wear a blade beneath the monstrosity that was my gown.