“I know they won’t hurt me,” he whispered, probably speaking to her in the most gentle tone he had. “I knew that when I came here.”
“Why did you?”
“Come here?” he asked, seeking clarification. When she nodded, he murmured, “I heard their song and it called to me.”
She hummed again. “Interesting.”
“Did they recognize you without your She-Wolf?” He grimaced. “I mean, I know they recognized you when you arrived here, but, I mean, was it different?”
She squeezed his fingers. “I know what you mean, and yes, they treated me the same as they always did. Sniffed me like I’d come in my She-Wolf form.”
“Did you ever visit them in your human skin?”
“Not often. I usually wanted to escape the confines of this body, Mikkel. Being like this wasn’t pleasant for me. I guess that’s how the changeling made people doubt me. I was out so often, she could do whatever she wanted in my place.”
“Don’t think about her.”
Huffing, Thalia murmured, “How can I not? She turned the palace against me, and who can blame them? They saw a murderer, unlawful scum who got away with killing innocents because her fathers loved her.” Her voice choked on that. “I thought they hated me. My mother was always disgusted with me. And yet, they kept me here because they loved me.”
When she put it like that, it was a lot to take in.
Fucking hell, Rafe should be dealing with this. If he hadn’t gone all Dexter on them and sliced that bitch up, Thalia would have been snuggling into him, seeking succor from him.
Mikkel wasn’t good with feelings.
Never had been, never would be.
He was the guy who got shit done. If she needed someone to break some cunt’s leg, then he was her guy. If she needed someone to shake shit up, again, he was there. Front and center, ready an raring to make mayhem.
But feelings?
He shuddered at the thought, then, he winced, because this was Thalia.
This wasn’t some wailing woman. This was his woman. Even when her life had been toppled on its head, when she’d just learned that up was down, she wasn’t crying. She wasn’t hysterical. She was just laying here. Surrounded by wolves, under the canopy of some kind of magical tree.
Could she do anything the normal way?
He grumbled, “Why aren’t you hysterical? Sobbing and shit?”
“What’s the point?” she whispered, and the lackluster words had him scowling.
“It would make you feel better.”
“Would it?” She laughed a little. “I don’t think so.”
“What’s freaking you out the most?” he asked, his voice still soft because barking at her here just felt plain wrong. It was too quiet, too gentle and restful a place to start shaking sense into her.
“The baby.”
He blinked. “That’s the most normal bit of our lives.”
“Reason that out for me,” she retorted, snorting.
“We have enough sex to get you in the family way. Having a kid is normal.”
“The family way?” Thalia giggled as she rolled her head to look at him. As their eyes caught, he grinned at her. “What’s going on? Are we rated PG?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. But you also know I wasn’t talking about the fact we are going to have a kid. I was talking about the fact that child is mated to Morningstar. And that I have her wings.” She gnawed at her bottom lip. “What if she needs those wings?”
“She has Lysander or Helena. We’ve got flying horses. They’ll get her from A to B. And if not them, then you or Daddy Theo can be flying taxis.”
Her eyes sunk to half-mast as she whispered, “I want to protect her from him, but I don’t know if that’s possible. What that witch said…”
“Was wrong,” he told her, knowing that to be the truth. “They thought you were his mate.”
“And look what they were willing to do to make sure he got me! That I was willing to go be with him.”
“Well, it didn’t work, did it? The Goddess tormented you with visions of us.” He grimaced. “Making sure, from way too early an age—and let me reiterate that when this kid is grown, she’s not having sex until she’s at least a century old—that you knew who you belonged to. Us.”
Her eyes watered as she processed that and saw the truth in his words—words he’d been thinking about since her fathers had divulged Bellatrix’s existence and purpose. “Everything happens for a reason.”
“Sadly, my sweetheart, it does.” He exhaled roughly, then tilted his head down to press his mouth to hers. It was awkward, but it was important. There was no need to take this to another level. If she wanted him later, she could have him. He was hers. But now? She needed comfort. The comfort of this land, these creatures around her, and one of her mates at her side.
“We’ll keep her safe, won’t we?”
“Safe? No. Whatever we do, babe, whether Morningstar was involved or not, we can’t do that. We can teach her, instruct her, love her, and show her how to live a good life. That’s what parents do. But kids do whatever the fuck they want.”
“You know I wasn’t saying that,” she growled.
And, though he’d have loved to, he murmured, “You know I won’t lie to you.” He pressed his hand to her belly. “I want to tell you he’ll never get his hands on her. But he got his hands on you.”
She flinched. “I know. I feel like nowhere’s safe.”
He shook his head. “You’re wrong. It’s safe here.”
Her brow puckered with a frown. “You believe that?”
“Under this canopy? Yes, I do.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “It just feels it. Don’t you sense that?”
She rolled her head from side to side in a ‘no.’ “I wish I did. I just feel like I’m waiting for him to pounce.”
“Then you probably shouldn’t have gone walking in the woods alone, little girl,” he said drily, and she scrunched her nose, his point hitting home.
“I needed some space.”
“I know. Rafe freaked you out today, didn’t he?”
“Didn’t what he did disturb you?”
He pursed his lips, thought about it, then shrugged. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because you didn’t hear what she was saying.”
“What was she saying?”
Unease spiraled through him. What the female said hadn’t been anything particularly disturbing, it was just…
“Have you ever wanted to do something so badly that you don’t give a damn what it takes to have it, you’ll do whatever?”
She frowned at that. “I guess. I’d have done anything not to have those visions. Some nights, I’d have surrendered my damn soul.”
That had him cringing inwardly, but then, he felt grateful because for all the times he’d fucked everything that moved in a skirt when he was Stateside, he’d been deployed for months on end. Jesus, there’d been some years where he’d barely been home.
Hence the glutting on chicks when he was here.
“Well, imagine that kind of desperation.”
“You mean to tell me she was making you feel that way?”
He shrugged. “A little part of me. But you were there.” He reached up to tap his temple and earned a growl from one of the wolves he disturbed as he moved. “In my head. It was weird. I didn’t want her, so I was safe. But if I hadn’t had you?” He winced. “I’d have done anything she asked.”
“She compelled you.”
“Yes. It’s worse than the mesmerizing shit Theo can pull when you look into his eyes. That just draws you in. She suggests shit.”
She hummed under her breath. “Seems like a changeling has all the strengths of both species. She can mesmerize like a Fae, but compel and entice like a Dark Fae.”
“Yeah. I never thought of it like that.”
“I’ve had nothing else to think of for the past ninety minutes.” She
pursed her lips. “I was trying to reason out why he did what he did.”
“I wonder what she was saying to him.”
“You think she was trying to compel him too?”
“Do bears shit in the woods?”
She snorted. “Not these woods.”
He grinned at her. “True. But, Thalia, you know what I mean. You don’t know what she was trying to make him do.”
“He didn’t though, did he?”
“No, because he’s yours. Not hers.”
That had her releasing a shaky breath. “I didn’t like how she was implying that she knew him,” she whispered. “He’s mine.”
“I know he is. Rafe knows that too. We’ve just got to figure out these new gifts he and I have. That’s all. It will just take some time to level out.”
“Where did he get the knife from?” she asked, more to herself than him, sounding perplexed rather than angry.
“Remember when I visited my dad?”
“Yeah.”
“I stole the dagger he brought in on the tray with the drinks.”
She scowled. “You stole it?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought I recognized that pommel.” Thalia hissed out a breath. “What if he’d needed it?”
“I had to have it.” He shrugged. “He didn’t miss it, did he? We watched him drive off and he never said a word about the dagger. Maybe he wanted me to have it. I’m just glad I took it now.”
“Why?”
“I gave it to Rafe and he did what he had to do to keep us all safe.”
She grunted, then rolled her head again to look at him. “Where’s it now?”
“In my pocket.”
That had her humming again, then, she asked, “Are you feeling the beast develop?” She frowned. “Maybe you should speak with my mother. Or my grandmother. They’re half-Lyken. Maybe they’d be able to help you.”
He shrugged. “Could be good. I don’t really want to tell anyone though. At least, not before my mom knows.”
“Why?” She blinked at him. “You can’t tell her the full truth, sweetheart.”
“No, I guess not. But… I don’t know. I think she has a right to know. I certainly don’t want to keep it from her.”
“You surprise me.”
He could hear it in her tone. “Why?”
“I didn’t think you were particularly close to her.”
“We’re not. I spend a lot of time overseas, so I don’t get to see her much. And, I don’t know, I put distance between us a lot.”
“Why?”
He jerked his shoulder. “Jealousy, I guess.” That wasn’t easy to admit, but if he could say the words to anyone, it was her. And here, in this magical place? It felt good to come clean.
“Of your brothers and sisters?”
“I think, for a long time, I was jealous of how happy she was with my stepdad. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy. And, Jesus, he included me in everything he could, everything that was pack-sanctioned. But, and I know it’s stupid, I think I felt bad for my dad. I was jealous of that, and I was jealous of the fact that I was an outsider.
“I was the stupid, weak, frail human amid this big family of Lykens. And the fucked up thing is I didn’t even know I was jealous. I was relatively happy. But now? Looking back, I think I was bitter. And I think that’s why I didn’t spend much time with my family even though I know it gutted my mom. She never pushed me away. I did the pushing, I just never realized it.”
“Do you want to tell them so they don’t think you’re a stupid, weak, frail human anymore? Which is BS by the way. You were strong before we even learned about you being half-Lyken. Don’t take that away from yourself. You made leader of your unit through hard work and sweat.”
“I know,” he admitted. “It never seemed to match up though.” He exhaled roughly. “Your grandfather told me something the day you claimed me.”
She cocked a brow at him. “What was it?”
“He said that my unit were all Lykens.”
That had her eyes flaring wide. “He shoved you into a team of Lykens? And you didn’t know?”
Lips curving at the squeak of irritation in her voice, he murmured, “No, I didn’t know. Nor did they tell me.” He thought of Shawn and Beaver, Darius and Greg, as well as the other men that were more like brothers to him than his own blood were in many ways. “I think I’m pissed at that.”
“That they didn’t tell you?”
“Yeah. You don’t even know the kind of shit we went through as a team, Thalia. I can’t share it with you. It’s classified.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t need to know.”
His mouth twitched. “Good.”
“Have you been in touch with them since you became a part of my security detail?”
He snorted. “Security detail? What security detail?”
“Well, on paper you are, aren’t you? My grandfather never leaves loose ties. It’s in his devious nature.”
“True. And no, I haven’t. They’re on an op in Baghdad. Black op.”
Her eyes widened. “Should I know that?”
“Nope. But who are you going to tell?”
She smirked. “Theo and Rafe.”
“Exactly. What’s mine is theirs.” He smirked back at her when she squinted at him.
“The idea of sharing me freaked you out before.”
“Plenty freaked me out. Now, I get off on it.”
Her lips rounded into the most perfect ‘O.’ “Really?”
“Yeah.” He grinned. “I want all three of us on you at the same time. And thinking about you watching that porn today hasn’t helped my hard-on—doesn’t matter that you saw to it earlier.” Even if there had been a large chunk of time when his body had been jerked from left to right with the changeling’s commands.
She released a shuddery breath. “I wonder if Rafe and Theo would like that again. Or if it was a, I don’t know, one time thing?”
“Don’t see why not. Not after we went to that fuckfest in Isaura’s throne room. Theo doesn’t exactly come from a prudish background, does he?”
They both snickered at that, and then she moved her hand to cover one of his, slipping the fingers through his own. The contact was simple and beautiful. And those were words Mikkel had never thought he was capable of forming when it came to thoughts of some chick holding his goddamn hand.
But this wasn’t just some chick, was it?
Thalia was no random piece of ass.
She was his.
Then, it was his turn to release a shuddery breath. “I swear, the things you do to me.”
When she studied him with curiosity, he knew what was about to come out of her mouth: “What do you mean?”
“You just… You rile me up and then give me the most wonderful sense of peace. I didn’t realize how…” The need to pop his neck, to stretch his shoulders suddenly overcame him. “I’m a restless person, Thalia. I’m not a guy who can lie under a fucking tree and just chill. But with you, I want nothing more than to do that.”
“I’m glad,” she murmured, “because everyone deserves peace.”
“Not when you’ve done the things I’ve done,” he admitted sadly. “I’ve got blood on my hands, Thalia. Far more than Rafe has. If you question anyone, it should be me.”
“You’re a soldier. I expect that of you. I didn’t think you’d led a charmed life during a war, Mikkel. Rafe’s different. He’s surprising me because of these weird things he keeps on doing.”
“The blood stuff?” he asked, though he was amused to note that she started squirming, making the wolves at her side peer at her with disgust.
The beasts were, apparently, very comfortable.
And hell, Mikkel couldn’t exactly argue with them when he felt just as comfortable in this pile-in too.
They didn’t even stink, and he wasn’t sure how that was possible for feral animals.
“Yeah. The blood stuff. Although, to be honest, I quite lik
e that.”
He grinned. “I can tell.”
She grimaced. “It came out of nowhere, and then it hit me like a freight train. I’m still reeling.”
“Why?”
Gnawing at her bottom lip, she mumbled, “It razed everything in me to the ground.”
Nodding his understanding, he murmured, “Imagine the three of us sharing you and Rafe doing that…” When she shuddered, he hid a grin.
“I’d probably self-combust.” Then, the heat in her eyes died and turned stark. “What scares me is if—”
“He turns into the creature we met today.”
She nodded, but he could sense her relief that she wasn’t the only one thinking that. “Bellatrix was…” She bit her bottom lip. “She was a bad guy in the Harry Potter books, did you know that?”
He blinked. “No, sweetheart. Harry Potter isn’t exactly adult reading material.”
“I’ll have you know it spans many age groups.”
“Yeah, but not mine.” He grunted. “Don’t spoil it. You got me hard talking about Alien and Predator earlier.”
Laughter tinkled from her, making his world light up with the sound—God, the power she had over him was immense. He didn’t even care if she fucking knew it either. “Look, I have eclectic tastes. I bet Theo would watch Harry Potter movies with me.”
“I can just see him cringing every time the word ‘magic’ is used.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, me too. In fact, I need to make that happen.”
“Evil woman,” he teased, making her grin at him, when it slowly died, he was grateful that he’d lightened the moment, and sad that she was back to thinking about stuff she had no control over. “We’re here to ground him,” was the only thing he could offer her.
“I-I hope that’s enough.” The words were stark but they were true.
“I do too.”
13
Rafe
Raphael, we need you.
Yeah? Where were you when I needed you?
I was there. Waiting. You’re my brother. I was always waiting.
You should have come for me if I was that important.
We had to wait.
Why? Because I was no use to you without my powers?
We all must wait until we reveal our true colors, and yours, my darling brother, are more interesting than most.
Triumph Page 23