Silent, lost in his daydream, Bennett leaned on the doorframe. He stared at Audrey, the hint of skin exposed where her shirt rode up in the midst of her back, a thin line of elastic from her panties stretched full in his view. He watched Audrey, her toes flexing in the fuzzy oval rug laid over the tile, her nails painted pink. But he pictured Beth, his need swelling, his pants suddenly too tight.
Audrey stretched, her spine giving a crack, and though he heard her grunt, knew Audrey had made the sound, in his head, it was Beth. Her eyes met his, her forehead furrowing. Audrey, that was Audrey, he said. Beth was gone. Audrey took care of his children. Yet, he couldn’t quite convince himself and look away.
CHAPTER 5
Bennett stood in the bathroom doorway for only a couple of minutes, then faded out of view, but his expression remained behind, the darkness of his pupils, the clench of his jaw, the curl of his fingers as if he longed to take hold. Her mouth dry, Audrey licked her lips and faced the boy again, what lightness she’d found in the motherly act, vanished.
“Let’s finish up,” she said. “I’ll read you a story.”
Tucking him into bed, the covers pulled chest high, she balanced the book he’d chosen on one knee. She smoothed the page and did her best to animate the story. Fifteen minutes later, she wished him goodnight, then checked on August and June before wending her way downstairs.
She met eyes with Bennett in the living room. “How was your meeting?” she asked.
He sighed. “Uncomfortable?”
Striding in, she took a seat across from him. “How so?”
He raised and lowered his shoulders. “I don’t fit in there anymore and am seriously considering quitting. I have some stock investments that’ll keep us afloat.”
“If things are too tight …”
For me to stay, she meant, but he vehemently shook his head.
“If you weren’t here …” He let his words fade.
Crossing one arm over her chest, Audrey turned her thoughts back toward Jeff. “Bennett, it isn’t my place to say, but I think Jeff would benefit from having a picture of his mother.”
Bennett’s brow wrinkled, and he bit his bottom lip.
“I understand, or think I do, why you hid them away, but not seeing her will eventually make Jeff wonder why. It’s hard for you. I get that. In some small part, by doing so, you’ve tried to deny her death. Jeff … and June … need to know her though.”
He sat there silent for the longest time, then expelling a breath, rose and crossed the room. Opening a cabinet door beneath the entertainment center, he took out a framed photo, holding it face down. He returned to his seat on the couch, his thumbs running around the metal scrollwork. “I don’t know if I can.”
Hearing the plea in his voice, she stood and walked to his side, perching on his left, her legs angled in his direction. She stuck out one hand, wiggling her fingers, and he switched his gaze from the back of the frame to her palm. Reluctant, as if the photo weighed a thousand pounds, he shifted it to her grasp.
“You can do this,” she said, “and however you feel afterward, the kids are safe, and nothing’s going to fall apart. I promise.” She adjusted her hold, pausing a while longer. “Here goes.”
Raising the top of the frame, she turned it face up and started at the woman framed there. “She was beautiful,” Audrey said. The kind of face men dreamed of, perfect complexion, luminous blue-green eyes. No wonder Peter Massey had gotten so upset. But the heart, she knew, didn’t always do what was planned, and for whatever reason, hers had chosen Bennett Adams instead.
Audrey tilted the photo toward him, and his eyes filled.
“She’s gone,” he said.
“She isn’t. She lives on in her children. You were very blessed to have her for however long you did.” Audrey extended him the picture. “Give it to your son. He needs to remember his mom.”
His hands shaking, Bennett took the frame from her, the tears suspended in his lashes, slipping down his face.
He hadn’t meant to fall apart in front of Audrey, but she was the first person to realize about the pictures. She was right. He’d hidden them trying to deny Beth was gone, but his children needed to know their mom.
He wiped his eyes and stood, the frame tight in his grip. He made his way upstairs, his feet heavy. At the top, he turned into Jeff’s bedroom. He set the photo on the dresser, angling it toward the bed and went to leave again, but his son called out.
“Daddy?”
Bennett revolved and walked over the bed, kneeling down at the side. Jeff rolled over on his side, his hands pillowed beneath his head, his eyes luminous in the darkness.
“I brought you a picture of Mom,” Bennett said. “I thought you’d want to have it.”
“I miss her,” his son said.
Bennett’s throat thickened, but he spoke in spite of it. “Me too. She loved you and June very much.” Taking hold of the bed cover, he tugged it higher on his son’s neck. “Go to sleep. Love you, son.”
He pushed to his feet, but before he could reach the door, Jeff called out.
“What about Audrey?”
Bennett came to a sudden stop. Audrey. Beth was barely gone, and he’d brought in a young, delectable woman to care for their kids. “Goodnight,” he called, shuffling forward.
Rather than return downstairs, he went to his bedroom, and there, took another photo of Beth from where he’d hidden it in a dresser drawer. He traced her face with his finger, exhaling a long breath, then, returning it to its place, he pushed the drawer shut.
After that night, Bennett seemed to finally accept things. The photo placed on Jeff’s dresser, the boy seemed to come more out of his shell. Other little things changed, June staying awake longer, August trying to stand. Bennett took more control of what he’d neglected. He cleaned out his office, boxing up files to return to the accounting firm.
He was also more forceful, giving a glimpse of the man he’d been. He argued with the lawn care company, spent considerable time on the phone snapping at someone at the bank. It was decidedly attractive, his commanding presence and, as the next month passed, his less formal manner around her, forming an appealing masculine image.
He loosened up, was less inclined to watch every step, and she also grew lax. It was natural that would happen. People living together would let down their guard. Bedroom doors weren’t shut so tight. Laundry mingled, a sock dropped here, a t-shirt there. Mishaps were made … and laughed at.
She was heartened to see it, though most incidents involved the children. Most.
She exited the nursery one evening and collided with Bennett just outside the door. The top two buttons of her blouse popped free. Grasping the fabric, she wadded the pieces together. “I … I shouldn’t be so careless.”
“No, you shouldn’t,” he replied, his mouth quirked, his voice low.
He reversed then and gave her room to get by, but she felt the heat of his skin the entire way to her room.
She was fast becoming addicted to Bennett Adams, for many reasons. He was twelve years older and that was a huge turn on. He was successful, prosperous. He was faithful to his children, more points in his favor. Even his love for Beth added positively into the mix. What woman wouldn’t want a man who could love someone like that? Now, have this question answered by a divorced, single mom who’d only known someone so directly opposite …
But their exchanged glances left her with many other questions, one larger than the rest. When she stared at him, was it because of the man he was or because he wasn’t Cale? And similarly, when he stared at her, was she Beth, or was she Audrey?
Audrey disconnected from the phone and lowered it to her lap, staring at the device as if something might leap out of it.
“Is something wrong?” Bennett asked.
Audrey looked up, a strand of hair falling between her eyes, and he was temporarily mute. She’d become more and more enticing as time passed, the tuck of her waist, the fullness of her breasts, the plump roundness
of her bottom causing an involuntary curl of his fingers and sweat in his palms.
It was different from his feelings for Beth though. Those had been airy and light, whereas this was rich, savory, and intoxicating. This was heavy cream, spooned atop decadent warm chocolate. Beth, on the other hand, had been a sweet, fruited dessert. He’d fallen in love with her for that, for how golden she made life feel, but now salivated to slake the thirst that’d grown over Audrey.
Two years making love to his wife on rare occasions, years living through the worst inner pain, his masculinity bottled up, the pressure of it building. It was so soon after Beth’s passing. He shouldn’t think this way.
“My parents want to take the children,” she said.
He dropped his gaze. June sucked her thumb in the baby seat at his feet. August balanced himself, one hand on the couch cushion, the other gripping Bennett’s knee. He wobbled, plump knees folding, and Bennett shot one hand out, taking a firmer hold.
“Take them?”
She nodded. “All three. Mom said if June was fed they’d have several hours before she needed anything, that she and Dad are … lonely.” She spoke as if that were an unusual thing.
“Lonely?”
Audrey nodded. “Dad, he … he loves Jeff. You know, he’s been calling?”
She’d told him that, and he’d seen how happy it made his son.
“I said I’d let them know. I had to ask you, of course.”
Part of him wanted to agree. Jeff would love it, and it’d be good for Audrey to not have a baby on her hip. But remembrance of the old Bennett stopped him. Her dad had hated him, albeit for all the right reasons. He’d allow her father to watch over his children?
“They want to take them to the Fun Center. Dad and Jeff can jump in the ball pit.” She laughed, high-pitched. “My father in a ball pit?”
A small hand tugged at Bennett’s sleeve. “Please?” Jeff hopped up and down. “Please. I want to go.”
“Dad has his cell phone,” Audrey said. “I guess it’s only for a few hours. It’d be good for Jeff to have time with his …” She hushed.
Grandparents. He heard the word, though she hadn’t said it. A slip of the tongue, yet looking at this from Jeff’s point of view, an accurate description.
“Please, Daddy,” his son begged.
Bennett laid a hand on his head. “You like Mr. Ferguson?”
Jeff nodded, squirming from foot to foot.
Bennett looked at Audrey next. “If you say it’s okay …”
She smiled. “It’s okay. We can both use a break.”
She reached for her phone and dialed, chattering happily to her mom, but a new thought had struck him hard in the chest. A few hours with the two of them, alone. Did her dad give any thought to that? Did they trust him to spend time with their daughter?
Audrey hung up again. “They’ll pick them up in an hour, which gives me time to feed June.” She rose and strolled over to the infant seat, plucking his daughter out and tucking her to her chest. But she paused before straightening.
Her cleavage swelled in his view, hidden by a hint of creamy lace, and past it, the sweet soft plain of her abdomen. He licked his lips, unable to stop his thoughts from going where they did and wondering when she straightened if she’d done that on purpose.
Aware he had to face her dad, however, Bennett did his best to wipe his thoughts clean. Most likely, her parents wanted to see how their daughter lived, her dad especially make his presence known. If Audrey had that thought, she didn’t show it though, instead spending the time packing the children’s things.
The doorbell rang promptly one hour later, and Bennett crossed through the foyer to answer it. Admittedly, he was nervous, his stomach filled with ping pong balls. He released a long breath, dug out a smile, and tugged on the knob. He wasn’t given a chance to greet her parents though for Jeff flying down the stairs.
“Ho, there …” Dale Ferguson swept the boy off his feet. “I love a young man with enthusiasm. It’s good for the future.” He squeezed Jeff to him, then tilted his gaze toward Bennett. “It’s been a while, Ben. I was sorry to hear about your wife.”
Bennett acknowledged his kind words with a sharp nod.
Dale turned slightly, glancing toward his wife. “This is Mrs. Ferguson.”
“Please call me Everly,” she said.
She was very much the grandmotherly type, fluffy white hair and a smile that immediately put him at ease. Whatever Dale’s feelings were about him personally, he knew the children would be well taken care of.
“And you can call me Bennett,” he replied. “Please … come in.” He reversed, waving them inside, and they passed him, halting in the center of the foyer.
Audrey called from the top of the stairs. “Mom? Dad? Be right down.” Her eyes transferred to his face. “Could you come up and get June? She’s ready to go.”
Obedient, he climbed the stairs, squeezing past her at the top. June was decked out in a clean pink onesie, a blanket tucked around her legs. “There’s Daddy’s girl,” he said, lifting the carrier.
She gave a loud coo. How different that was from weeks ago, and he owed it to Audrey’s care. Spinning on his heel, he retraced his steps down the hall and back to the foyer.
“Well, now …” Dale said. “There’s the little one.” He stretched one hand for the car seat’s handle, but gripping it, Bennett’s hand still holding tight, he gazed back, unblinking. “She’s a beautiful child. We’ll take the very best care.”
Bennett’s eyes stung. Beautiful like her mother.
Everly, sensing he couldn’t speak, patted him tenderly on the arm. “It’s okay. We talked about this, and as much as we love August, these two wonderful kids need that love, too. There’s plenty to go around.”
He tried to thank her with a glance, but struggled to hold back tears.
“Thanks, Mom,” Audrey said. “This means a lot to Bennett.”
Her use of his first name was noted with the fire in her father’s eyes, but Dale said nothing, turning his gaze to Jeff and taking hold of June’s carrier, his footsteps aimed toward the car. Everly lifted August from Audrey, settling him on her hip.
“I guess we’re ready to go,” she said. “We’re looking forward to this.”
“Here, I’ll tote the diaper bag,” Audrey offered.
Her mom revolved, and she and Audrey trailed after Dale down the walk. Bennett watched them load up, his mood swinging this way and that. On the one hand, he was glad to have some time without watching the kids, glad, as well, for his son to have someone to look up to. On the other, he’d been with his children so much, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, that he was tempted to run after them and call the whole thing off.
He didn’t, and eventually, the Fergusons started the car and reversed from the drive. Audrey waved goodbye, standing in place until their taillights disappeared. She twirled and returned to the stoop. He couldn’t move for staring at the swing of her hips.
She mashed the flat of her hand in the center of his chest and pushed him backward, once they’d entered the house, shutting the door. “What are we going to do with ourselves?”
He gave a shallow cough. “Dinner? We could go out. We’re here all the time.”
She tilted her head. “Might be a good idea. But first, because you want to know, yes, they wanted to make their presence known to you. I’m sure tonight was my dad’s idea. That said, he loves Jeff.”
“I saw that,” Bennett replied, “but it’s a long ways for him to come from yelling at you for moving here to his accepting it.”
“We’ve talked,” she said. “I told him I’m happy.”
“Happy?” Bennett couldn’t stop the rasp from entering his voice.
Her tone softened. “We’re allowed to be happy, aren’t we? Without feeling like we’re breaking sacrilege.”
He understood the inference – without feeling guilty over Beth. That she felt guilty, too, meant a lot.
“Sounds good,�
�� he said. Then, on impulse, he let his thoughts have free rein. “Wear something to impress me.” No harm in looking at her, right?
She gave a coy smile before vanishing up the stairs. He let her go, not following, at first.
This anticipation was the best thing to happen to him in months. The ramifications of it scared him, what people might say about it being too soon. Then again, they hadn’t walked a day in his shoes and so couldn’t possibly know how hard it’d been.
Not like he’d been looking for someone either. Audrey had simply appeared in his life, and for a few hours tonight, he simply wanted to enjoy himself, taking each moment as it happened. That wasn’t asking too much.
CHAPTER 6
She didn’t have anything too impressive to wear, in spite of Bennett’s request, and so debated on her choice of clothing. She finally opted for form-fitting slacks and a filmy red blouse. She paired them with black heels and a set of pendant earrings, pinning her hair at the nape of her neck.
Audrey eyed herself in the dresser mirror for the longest time, gathering her nerve to go downstairs, and for the millionth time ran through what might happen tonight.
They played a cat and mouse game, him and her, chasing each other around the house, yet never really making any significant contact. Thoughts of the children and his wife held them in check. Yet, she didn’t necessarily hold herself in comparison to Beth, nor did she think Bennett did either, or not much. Just the same, these thoughts never really left for too long.
Which made having so much time alone tonight a kind of a test. For him, could he get past his memories and enjoy himself? For her, could she be the woman she was before Cale ruined things?
Not having answers, Audrey exited the bedroom and headed downstairs. She halted four steps from the bottom, the sight of Bennett in a suit taking her breath. “You look … fabulous.” Gray suit, red tie. Her ex couldn’t hold a candle to him.
Words From The Heart (Spring-Summer Romance Book 2) Page 5