She’d thought she’d overcome that mentality. Over time, she’d certainly fallen in love with her son. She had no regrets about having him; he was perfect. Perfect. Time with June, however, brought those memories back and healed them in a way she hadn’t expected.
Bennett’s attention helped further it. Unlike Cale, he seemed to appreciate where motherhood had taken her, and that was satisfying.
June squirmed, and Audrey turned her to the other side, the cool air on her moist nipple turning the flesh rigid. Peace descended, and June nodded off, eventually, her mouth pulling free. The silence of the house and soft darkness tugged at Audrey’s eyelids.
She realized she’d been sleeping when Bennett’s shape rose overhead. He stooped, sliding June from her arms, and laid his daughter, a warm lump, in the crib. Audrey pushed to her feet, the heel of her hand scrubbing one eye. She realized then, the edges of her blouse fluttering, how exposed she was.
She scrambled for the buttons, clenching them in her palm, but Bennett stretched out one hand and laid it over top. Taking hold, he peeled her fingers away and slipped one hand beneath her blouse. His fingers warm, he leaned in, the weight of her breast cupped in his palm. Desire written in his expression, he lowered his mouth to meet his fingertips. His tongue danced over the arch of her breast and she gasped, aroused by the soft suck of his lips.
“Bennett …” A plea, spoken from desperation to feed the heat flickering in her mind.
He pulled away, the place he’d moistened cooling. “You are … succulent,” he said, his voice deep, “and I was jealous.” He released her breast, one by one, closing the buttons of her shirt.
Jealous? Of June? Or did he mean Cale? He hadn’t known Cale, but if that was the case, might figure she was, similarly, jealous of his wife. She wasn’t.
The last button fastened, he stepped in reverse.
“Don’t be, and don’t … go,” she said.
He halted in the doorway, his need for her clear beneath the fabric of his pants. He made no effort to conceal it, if anything shuffling his feet uncomfortably. In her next breath, he vanished into the hall.
Her pulse stole her breath, and weakened, Audrey sank back into the rocker, one hand rising to cradle the place his mouth had been.
Finding Audrey asleep, her breasts exposed, had spiraled his mind back to the first night when his reaction to June’s cries had been to sprint for the nursery. Except this time, he’d been bold enough to taste what tormented him. Sweet, tantalizing flesh.
His confusion between it being Audrey and not Beth had caused him to retreat. That wasn’t fair to her. She’d asked him to stay. But the last thing he wanted to do was treat Audrey like her only purpose was to relieve his angst.
Their relationship had changed as the days passed, growing closer, and in many ways, he was glad for that. Just the same, desire alone wasn’t enough to sustain it. He could do what his body begged him to, and had no doubt, it would be spectacular. But at some point, sex became just sex and not an expression of love.
He’d had sex with Beth without thinking of that and been lucky to find love after Jeff was conceived. It could have ended differently though, and so could this with Audrey. For one thing, at its most basic level, he had no protection in the house, and three children were enough. For another, though they had the time and space tonight, what happened tomorrow? Desire, once fulfilled, only sparked more of the same.
He wanted Audrey, but because of all he’d had with Beth, because of all he’d lost with Beth, wanted Audrey for the right reason, and for it to be lasting and full of potential.
Eye contact was difficult to maintain the next morning, so he didn’t try but secluded himself in his office. Audrey acted normal later, which didn’t surprise him at all. It did, however, make him feel guilty once more.
He carried his guilt over the next few days, and into the next month. Distracted by August’s first birthday, they didn’t talk.
Audrey appeared in the office door late one afternoon. Glancing behind her, she called out. “Jeff, please don’t feed August any more candy.” She faced him again, a curious expression on her brow. “You’ve been spending a lot of time in here,” she said.
Bennett released his pen and leaned back in his chair. “That’s because I have my first client.”
She took a seat, crossing shapely legs, the hem of a tiny pair of shorts creeping upward. “So you’re going to do it? Go into private practice?”
He nodded, staring. Tossing his head, he sought her face. “My first client suggested it.”
Audrey pursed her lips. “Who could possibly be that influential?”
Supple, soft lips, and his gaze moving downward, luxurious cleavage spilling over her tank top. His heart thumped hard.
“Wait … Dad? Dad’s your new client?”
Once more, he tried to focus. He nodded and smiled. “He said he’s tired of keeping up with his investments, so he’s handing the ‘whole kit and kaboodle’ over to me.”
“Who’d have ever thought …?” She didn’t finish speaking, tilting her ear toward the ceiling. “June never sleeps more than an hour in the afternoons now, and that’s a good thing,” she said. “But she’ll lie there sometimes, watching the mobile spin.”
Another noise distracted her, and she was up and in the hallway before he could blink. Her round bottom poked into his view, the edge of her thong panties peeking out over the waistband.
“Jeff? Is August asleep?” she asked. A distant response came from his son, and she exhaled, frustration heavy in the sound. Turning on her heel, she reentered, but pushed the door slightly closed.
Bennett wrinkled his brow. “We need privacy from the children?”
Audrey lifted her chin, brushing her hands down the side of her shorts. “From Jeff. I wanted to talk to you about Kindergarten.”
What peace he’d had evaporated. Thought of sending his son to school bothered him more than he wanted to admit.
“I’m nervous, too,” she said, “but it has to be done. Registration is next week, and I’ve yet to figure out how to speak to him about it. He’s doing so well. I have the feeling not being near you will upset him.”
“It upsets me,” Bennett replied. “But I know you’re right.”
She offered a consoling frown. “Every parent has to get over this hurdle. It’s just ours is harder.”
Ours. Audrey referring to it as “their” problem was meaningful. Bennett’s guilt returned.
“The problem is,” she continued, clearly unaware of it, “I’m not legally in a position to take any steps. You have to do it.”
A lump rose in this throat, one formed not by thoughts of Beth, but that here was the most beautiful woman with such a gracious heart and he hadn’t the nerve to speak about what’d happened between them. When the truth was he’d never stopped thinking of it, but, even today, could close his eyes and taste her on the tip of his tongue.
How could he expect anything to happen between them if he kept pretending nothing had happened at all?
“Bennett?” Soft lines formed on Audrey’s forehead, and her delicate lips puckered in concern.
He cleared his throat. “Can you close that?” he asked, jerking his chin toward the door.
She followed his gaze, then, when he motioned, rose and did as he asked. He waved her toward him afterward, when she got within fingers’ grasp, tipping her hand into his palm. Scooting forward, he urged her up onto the desk, then parting her knees, bent his mouth to the inside of her thigh. With a soft suck, his tongue explored upward, and his mind descended into a reddish haze.
She gasped, one hand reaching for his head, which only fueled the craving.
“So savory,” he said, his voice husky. Placing one hand where his mouth had pressed, he slid it higher, beneath the hem of her shorts. The warmth of her skin and subtle fragrance drew him to his feet and his mouth to the base of her throat.
Her breaths rushed out, hot on his cheek. Tilting his gaze upward, he drank t
hem in.
He’d loved Beth, loved making love to Beth. But she’d never given him this. He’d treated her with kid gloves, somehow afraid she’d break. Audrey, on the other hand, made him want to clear the desk and take her right here.
He didn’t, and the moments passing, her mind seemed to clear. “I should … should check on the children.”
“I’ll check on them,” he said. “You can have my chair.”
He slid her into it, and she reclined, her head tossed back, her legs splayed, a curl wrapped around her throat. He stared for a moment, his thoughts speeding past, then turned his back and made his way out.
When he returned, the office was empty, the kitchen and laundry room vacant. June tucked to his neck, as Audrey had shown him to do, he searched the patio next and found her in a vinyl chair staring at the grass.
“Look who’s awake,” he said.
Audrey stretched her hands upward, her face eager. He contemplated that, for a moment, then transferred June into her grip. He slid a deck chair to her side, and his elbows on his knees, leaned into view.
Her cheeks shown red, her eyes bright. Her mouth was curved in a pleased smile.
“I’m not trying to duplicate Beth,” he said. “I loved her. We have two wonderful children together. But this is about me and Audrey, and she makes me want to do things I never thought I would again.”
Audrey’s smile curved further, flirtatious, and her gaze on his, she lifted her shirt. Unfastening her bra, she settled June in place and allowed her to nurse.
Bennett stared, unashamed. “This is what my dreams are made of,” he said.
Quiet laughter fled Audrey’s lips.
Bennett’s stating his feelings relieved the tension she’d felt for the last few weeks. It was one thing to be conscious of his thoughts, but his not speaking them was the purest torture. She must’ve replayed his erotic taste of her breast a thousand times, with each one, trying to convince herself it’d meant more than simply a need for sex. He needed sex. For that matter, so did she, and what he’d done in the office had proven that to them both. But his words afterward had given his intent.
He’d not made any similar moves since then nor sought her out when she was with June. She admired his restraint, that, in spite of what they now knew both of them were hungry for, he waited for it to be right, to have meaning.
She couldn’t dwell there though. She had to concentrate on Jeff. Kindergarten would be good for him, but in light of his attachment to Bennett, it’d be difficult to convince him. She’d grown to love that little boy. He was in so many ways Bennett’s twin, demanding at times, but in his heart, gentle, and, of course, sensitive to change.
They agreed to talk to him together sometime over the weekend. In the end, it took them until Sunday night. August and June put to bed, she and Bennett entered Jeff’s room together.
“Hey, there …” Audrey took a seat on the side of his bed. “Your dad and I needed to talk to you.”
She smoothed his hair back from his brow. He acted like Bennett, but so much of him was his mom, and thinking of that clogged her throat.
“You’re a big boy now. Remind me how old?”
Jeff held up his hand, five fingers spread wide.
“Five, that’s right. And being five means you have to do what big boys do. You get to go to school with boys and girls your age, make new friends …”
Jeff’s eyes spread wide, and he glanced from her to Bennett and back.
Bennett, his hands stuffed in his pockets, pulled them out and knelt. “It’s only for a few hours each day. Audrey and I will take you there and pick you up. It’ll be fun.”
But Jeff wasn’t convinced. His eyes welled with tears and leaping from beneath the covers, he threw himself at his dad. “I don’ wanna go away like Mommy …”
Audrey’s eyes moistened, and she tossed one hand to her lips.
Bennett wrapped his arms around his son and stood, one hand on the back of the boy’s head. “Not like Mommy,” he replied. “Like big boys do, and you come home in the afternoons. You sleep in your bed. You’ll see me and June and August and Audrey.”
There was no consoling him, however, and the time passing, Bennett took a seat on the bed. “You and I will rest right here for a while. I promise it’s all okay, everything’s safe.” He cast her a glance, his brow furrowed, and giving a nod, Audrey reversed and left them alone.
They’d have to work it out.
She worried, the hours crawling by, that they wouldn’t, however. But just after ten, Bennett showed up in the door of her room. He leaned his shoulder on the door frame. “That went as badly as I planned.”
Audrey frowned. “He associates leaving with losing his mom. Once he meets the teacher, sees the classroom, I think he’ll be fine.”
“Until then, I’m evil.”
She stood from the bed and walked up in front of him. “I could convince you otherwise.”
Light sparked in his eyes, and his mouth quirked. “Just how are you going to do that?”
Taking his wrist, she tugged him further inside the room and shut the door. Wresting his shirt from his pants, she unfastened the buttons.
He watched her amused, cooperating when she shifted his arms to take it off.
She dropped it in the floor at their feet, and raising his undershirt high on his chest, bent her mouth to the center. His skin was musky, his muscles firm and salty on her tongue.
His hand fell to her head, cupping it, he turned her face upward. “That’s a dangerous game you play.”
In response, in one motion, she removed her shirt. He stared, his hand shifting to trace her curves, over her hips and the dip of her waist, then along the length of her arm. At her shoulder, he dusted her bra straps downward, and they slipped over her shoulder, her breasts tumbling free.
He grew hard against her, grinding into her, and closing her eyes, she tossed her head back and reveled in it. Months and months alone, telling herself she was no good to anyone. She’d failed as a wife, struggled as a mother. Though she’d overcome the last thought over time, the former had clung tight, taking away her belief in herself as a woman as well.
Yet here was a man eager to experience all of that.
The button of her shorts popped free at the tap of his thumb, and Bennett worked his fingers beneath the fabric, his fingertips moistening in contact with her heat. With gentle strokes, he heightened her pleasure, until her mind, white hot, her body shaking, she reached her peak.
“I always win,” he said, his voice deep.
And he had once more. She crashed, held tight against him, her cries muffled by the warm expanse of his chest.
He left Audrey dozing and took a long hot shower. Strangely, though, lying in bed afterward, the TV flickering light on the ceiling, his mind turned back to Beth.
Why after satisfying Audrey did his mind go there? His love for his wife hadn’t diminished nor had the ache which her absence left, but, he found, these three months had eased the pain of it and Audrey had a lot to do with that. She was a distraction, an appealing one, as well as the steady influence the household needed. She was always forgiving, always generous, and being truthful, going there with her, seeing her so enraptured, was as much about proving that to her as it was any indulgence he got out of it.
Looking at things from another angle, he’d let go of Beth months before she died. He’d hoped she wouldn’t, then denied she had, but his grip on her had started to slip not too long after finding out the cancer had returned. What seemed soon to others wasn’t really.
He’d probably never totally get over Beth, but he had to find a way to stand tall and be a father, a man again, or everything around him would stop making sense. And he’d been at that point already and stayed there too long – with June crying nonstop, Jeff begging to sleep with him at night.
Until a beautiful woman named Audrey walked into their lives.
CHAPTER 8
Voices leaked out the open doorway, echoing in the
hallway alongside other parents going in and out of different classrooms. Hearing the sound, Audrey took Jeff’s hand, suddenly more nervous than she wanted to admit. “You, me, and your dad are going to meet the teacher together,” she said, cheerfully.
Her tone belied the truth, however. This little boy couldn’t be more hers than August or June right then, and this moment a critical step toward both his growing up and his healing from his mom’s death. That, in itself, made her antsy about the visit.
What if she said the wrong thing? Gave the wrong impression?
What if she’d brought the younger ones? Gratitude rushed through her at her parents’ perception. They’d insisted on babysitting August and June, and she could see now that balancing both babies would’ve been too much.
Jeff twisted his gaze upward to see Bennett.
Bennett laid one hand on his head. “It’ll be all right, sport. Remember, you don’t have to stay today, just say hello.” He sounded way more settled than she was.
Audrey tightened her grip on Jeff’s hand and stepped inside the door.
The room was well-organized, desks in straight rows, toys separated in large plastic bins. Everything was labeled and spotlessly clean. The teacher, an older woman with short, gray hair, knelt, speaking sweetly to a little girl with blonde pigtails. The girl nodded, then the teacher reached in her pocket and pulled out a lollipop.
She stood, shaking hands with the girl’s parents, then transferred her gaze to them. Jeff crawled behind Audrey’s legs, hiding his face.
“Well, now …” the teacher said, “somewhere there’s a little boy. I saw him a minute ago.” She pretended to search for him, her hands on her hips.
Bennett gripped Jeff’s shoulder and tugged him out from his hiding place.
“There he is,” the teacher said. Her smile, already wide, seemed to stretch further. “I’m Mrs. Werthe.” After giving her name to Jeff, she glanced from Audrey to Bennett.
“Bennett Adams,” he said, “my son, Jeff, and that’s Audrey.”
Words From The Heart (Spring-Summer Romance Book 2) Page 7