by Dance, Candy
“Bartie,” she exclaimed, then she whirled around.
Bart started an instantaneous I-want-to-get-down wiggle and his bottle dropped between their chests, while his little arms reached out for his mom. He was bouncing, excited to see her. Beck felt a decent feeling filling him at doing a really good thing.
“Are you guys okay?” Millie asked, hurrying forward to grab Bart up into her arms, where he immediately tangled his fingers in her hair.
Beck could agree with his son, that hair was soft as silk and nice to touch. Then he nodded quickly to Millie so she would know everything was fine, and her clear gaze went from slightly worried to curious.
Beck shrugged. “Bart told me he wanted to see his mommy.”
Her eyes crinkled in a silent laugh and she raised Bart up, bouncing him. “Did you say that, Bartie?”
Beck had to admit when Millie said “Bartie” like she had a way of doing, it did sound kind of right. But he’d do Bart a solid and get her off it by age five. Then it startled him to be thinking so far in the future, and to be thinking about them all as a unit.
His gaze lowered to Millie’s belly as he wondered if he’d given her another baby.
“He said it,” Beck told her. “And he said he wanted to have lunch with you.”
Beck held up the deli bag.
“Bart!” a young woman’s voice exclaimed behind them. “I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“Oh,” Millie said, looking uncertain. Then she looked as if she were silently scolding herself, before she firmly said, “Penny, this is Bart’s dad, Beck. Beck, this is my cannot-live-without-her assistant Penny.”
Beck felt something loosen inside him as if a screw had been turned and he could let go of some of his lingering anger and resentment.
He held out his hand to Penny, who looked quite surprised. “Nice to meet you.”
“Ah,” Penny muttered, with her gaze whipping between them. “Nice to know you exist too,” she said.
That made him grin as he shook her hand, while Bart held her finger and they played tug.
At that moment there was a loud bang somewhere in the house, and Penny exclaimed, “I’ll get that, boss!”
To Penny’s retreating back, Millie said, “I’m taking lunch, Penny. I’ll relieve you when I get back.”
“Okay, boss,” Penny shouted, from somewhere in the house.
Beck looked down on Millie as Bart pulled on her hair. “Thanks for that,” he said.
She smiled, a little uncertainly. “It wasn’t so hard.” Then she added, “This is just the best thing you could do, Beck. Getting to seeing Bart at lunch.” She did smile then. “And getting to see you too,” she said.
Chapter Eight
I had always known Beck was hot, it wasn’t the only reason I had lusted after him throughout my teenage years, but it was a pretty big reason. He was also smart, funny, and he paid attention to me, where I sometimes got lost in the shuffle. But having Beck come to my job, meet Penny, and have my crew eyeing him, focused me once again on his masculine fineness.
My stepbrother was without a doubt a man’s man. He did it really well. And I was actually flattered that my crew was going to find out Beck was Bart’s dad, and that a man like Beck had actually found me attractive enough to make that happen.
And oh, wasn’t one of my long dreamed fantasies all about making babies and living a life with Beck. So I was trying hard not to act like a happy fool, because Beck had brought Bart to have lunch with me, just like we were a family.
Of course the minute I thought that word “family” it started reminding me about our incestuous connection. But I did not want to go there. It was so unfair. It wasn’t at all true ... because we were not blood related. Just because we grew up part of our young lives together, did not mean we should be forever forbidden from falling in love.
“Deep thoughts,” Beck murmured, as he handed Bart a whole quarter of a pickle.
I giggled as Bart fisted his little hands around it and squeezed. “What’s he going to do with that?”
Beck gave me his most devastating, lazy smile. “Gum it to death.”
That did get a couple laughs out of me, as I nodded my surrender to his plan. Then we both watched to see what Bart would think about sticking that pickle wedge in his mouth. First Bart hit his cheek, then his nose, and then it sort of slid in his mouth. His gray eyes widened and he had the cutest that-is-kind-of-sour-tasting look.
I don’t think Beck knew that he’d grabbed my hand as we both laughed. Even though it looked as if Bart thought the pickle was pretty sour, he wasn’t giving up his first opportunity to gnaw on something new. It made him bounce up and down in his car seat with excitement.
Then there was a pastrami sandwich under my nose, with Beck ordering, “Eat. And, back to those deep thoughts.”
I tried once again to sidetrack him, by saying, “You remembered I like pastrami. Thanks.”
Beck’s speculating gray eyes, so much like Bart’s, took in my first bite and then he handed over a chocolate milk to me.
“I remembered the horseradish mustard too,” he said. “I also remember the ways you use to avoid subjects.”
That brought an instant hot blush to my cheeks, because one of the ways I used to get Beck off the subject was by attack kissing him, maybe even attack fondling him. We’d gone to second base dozens of times before we were finally so overcome we’d done the illicit deed.
Beck must have remembered too, because his eyes turned up the heat that I remembered so well.
Well, he had caught me; I wasn’t going to sidetrack him from that, so I finally spilled.
“Just thinking for a moment about how peoples’ judgments are so unfair.” I raised my hand and swept it around. “You know that vicious circle we’ve been through.”
Beck leaned back with one knee bent up as he took a bite of his sandwich looking at me thoughtfully.
When he’d finished chewing, he said, “No one here needs to know that. I think you introducing me as Bart’s dad was the first time you and I could ever feel something like that.”
“I know,” I whispered, with my head down.
Beck’s fingers caught my chin and lifted it, until he was searching my gaze. “It felt good,” he said, quietly.
It almost felt like he was accepting ... maybe like he was forgiving me.
“If we just never go back home,” I muttered. “Not as if that would be any huge loss.”
Beck dropped his finger from under my chin and we continued to eat, when he finally muttered, “No grandma or grandpa for Bart.”
“Yeah,” I muttered back, thinking about it.
Beck wasn’t asking for this new life to be him and me together as a couple. He was only saying that he could be out in the open and be Bart’s dad. The only two people we had to keep it from being our parents.
But, I was pretty forlorn with the feelings of separation from Beck. I wasn’t sure I could have him in my life and not desperately want him.
“We can have our own version of a witness protection program, only ours will be identity protection or step relation protection,” he said.
See, funny. Even forlorn, I couldn’t help laughing.
After that we had a great time with Bart, and together. Beck was being charming, and I tried not to read anything into it. But my body was not listening. Still, I think I hid my horny-vibes for him pretty well. I mean I’d had a lot of practice throughout the years.
I just didn’t want my runaway libido to get in the way of enjoying our fragile truce. Plus, I was pretty sure I was going to have to get used to it. Beck and I together were a done deal, and really I shouldn’t ever want him again after the way he had treated me; like I was some kind of slut or something.
It didn’t matter that I had always been a slut for Beck in my mind. He might have forgiven me to get along with me, and make Bart’s life easier and better, but that didn’t mean it had open any more doors for us.
Except for the looming on
e—
I bit my bottom lip, looking at Beck when he didn’t notice it, and I wondered what he’d do with the news I had about the pregnancy test. But everything was so nice right then, and I didn’t want to tell him yet, especially at work.
He found me looking at him, and he searched my face, then slight speculation came into his eyes. I swear he knew what I was thinking. Quickly I shied away from it, by turning my gaze.
“Okay, guys,” I said. “Bartie’s mom has got to get back to work.”
Beck’s firm lips compressed as if he was getting ready to get stern with me, but Bart saved me by plopping his mushed pickle on Beck’s leg.
Then when we were all cleaned up, packed up, and getting ready to go back inside, I turned to Beck and said, “I’m going to be late. I have to get this done tonight, because they have an open house on it tomorrow.”
Beck looked down at me, as he held Bart by one fist in his car seat. I sure wished I could do that.
“You don’t mind, I will take Bart to your house and stay until you get there,” he said.
“That’s so cool,” I exclaimed, grabbing his free forearm for a squeeze. Because otherwise Bart would have to stay with me and he would likely get cranky. “Thank you, and for this too, it was great.”
Beck still looked at me as if he was trying to figure something out, but then he turned away to lift Bart closer to him.
“Time for race car derby, buddy,” he said to Bart, who looked just like he knew what his dad was saying. “I’m going to beat you this time,” Beck vowed, looking so serious it made me laugh again.
That was how Beck left me ... laughing and feeling good, so when Penny showed back up, I was smiling.
“So, Bart’s dad? I thought it was a one night stand, who you could not remember.”
I looked guiltily at Penny.
“Sorry, I had to say something,” I said, with a flip of my hand. I had planned my new story, once I’d agreed to tell people that Beck was Bart’s dad. And I thought sticking as close to the truth as possible would be smart.
“Sorry about the lie,” I said first. “Beck was my boyfriend—” I started saying, and the most amazing feeling filled me at being able to say that. But I squashed it. “—and I was stupid about some gossip I heard about him, and some other complications, so I ran away from him. Later, I found out that stuff I believed ... it was totally wrong. Well, and it kept me from even thinking he wanted to know that he had a son. Then I just got caught in the fact I had never told him, and how bad that made me, once I found out the gossip was untrue.”
Penny leaned in and nudged my shoulder; she was a great assistant and a really good person. “No one would ever believe that man wasn’t great dad material and that he didn’t love it,” she said, making something blossom inside me ... like hope. “Glad you two got it figured out about Bart.”
And right like that, Beck my stepbrother was accepted into my life, far away from anyone that knew we were even related. It felt awesome.
Well, it felt amazing, until about seven that night. I had just finished up when I got a text from Beck that had me instantly hyperventilating.
It read: “Mom showed up. I fucking lied big time. Don’t show up until we can talk. I’ll call as soon as I can.”
Then I sat outside my staged house, in my SUV, and I fidgeted for twenty minutes, while wondering what in the world Beck could say to cover for this. Next, I got pissed because he and I shouldn’t have to go through these cover up things that made us crazy and stressed us out so much.
Then being braver than I had been just a year ago, I nearly started my car to go home, confront mom, and tell her that Beck and I, although not together at the moment, had had a baby and she could live with it or not. It was not illegal.
And did I freaking care what she thought to begin with? I think I cared more what the people from school, and in the small town we grew up in, thought than I did her or dad.
But I didn’t have to ever see them again, if I chose, or if any of them was my friend and they got weird over knowing about it, well then they weren’t worth being my friend. So I realized as I sat there, not going and doing it, because I couldn’t surprise Beck like that without clearing it with him, that I was finally over my cowardice about the social impact of it all.
I wanted this.
And, I’d be damned if anyone was going to get in my way of having it.
“God, I really want it to be us, though,” I said, cupping my belly, then giving it a gentle rub. “I have to try to convince him,” I muttered, right before my cell rang.
“Boo, I’m in the fucking bathroom. Bart’s in bed and mom is in the living room,” Beck uttered, without saying “hello.” He sounded very irritated and he had a right to be, as I wondered where Murray was. Before I could speak, Beck continued, “She wants fucking money. Pisses me off. She, of course, didn’t know I was here. But she came here to try to convince you to hassle me to give her the million she’s whining for.”
“Million,” I gasped.
“I am a fucking billionaire,” Beck growled.
“I know,” I whispered, but that was still really rude of mom. “I guess I don’t know what it’s like, since I’ve never been one,” I said lamely.
“The minute it happens, every person you even said ‘hi’ to in your life has their hand out,” Beck uttered, and I felt bad for him, and worse that I hadn’t realized. “Dad asked when we were there, right after hello. And mom is so busy working me over, she has forgotten to even work out why I’m here.”
“Really, Beck?” I asked softly.
I heard his huge breath, then more calmly he said, “Yes, and if I give her the money, I think she will not get into why I’m here, before she flies out the door.”
“No!” I exclaimed, then I backed off, surprised at myself. “Um, sorry, but you shouldn’t have to do that. It’s like blackmail or something.”
“I like that you are behind me,” he said in a low and very deep voice, and I felt it in intimate places, as a little breathlessness followed. “But what else can we do?” he asked.
I caught my bottom lip with my upper tooth, then I dived in.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’m totally in on just telling her everything.” Right there Beck made a deep surprised sound. “She can either accept it and be in our lives or not. And, no money, unless you feel like it someday ... without the pressure.”
“Damn it, boo, you never cease to surprise me,” he said.
“Let me tell her, if you are in,” I said.
I knew that had to have completely amazed him. I hoped it had really surprised him, and I also hoped my new changes kept breaking through to him.
Actions spoke louder than words; Beck taught me that.
Chapter Nine
Beck debated about letting Millie do what she’d said she finally wanted to do. He’d argued with her to do this exact thing before, but now that it was imminent, he realized he should have cut her some slack. It did have major ramifications like she’d said before, and he’d wanted to ignore back then. In fact, there were many more now, especially for Bart.
He would not have his son hurt by it. So he muttered and paced in Bart’s room, hiding from his stepmother. Bart was asleep looking like an angel, and Beck felt the tug as he did every time he looked at him.
My son.
It was pride, possessiveness, and lots of love.
He’d never told her, but Bart had Millie’s nose.
“If we don’t just lay it out, this hell is going to haunt us forever,” Beck muttered.
Instead of trying to shove it under the carpet, he and Millie needed to shout it from the rooftops. They needed to bulldoze their place in this world.
He looked at Bart. That was the way to help his son.
Then he heard the front door opening, and he went to back up his woman.
He could see right away that she was tired, but he could also see determination on her beautiful face. Without thinking
and definitely without planning it, he reached her at the entrance to the living room. Their mom was just turning toward Millie’s entrance, and he swept Millie up against his body.
Then he kissed her, right in front of their mom, who made a shocked sound.
But Millie didn’t get shocked, instead she lifted her arms over his shoulders and she kissed him back even harder, while she pressed fully against him.
The minute their lips parted, she said, “Hello, baby, it’s so good to be home.”
Damn, he liked that... Beck tightened his arm around her, as their mom exclaimed, “What in the hell are you two doing! Stop that!”
Beck kept his arms circling Millie, but he let her turn under his arms, until her back was to his front as she waved and smiled at their mom. A fucking brilliant performance and it made him want to lift her up and take her to bed, where he could show her how much she turned him on and he wanted her.
“Hi, mom,” Millie called. “I see you have discovered our little secret.”
Phyllis stomped forward with her hand on her hips, as she declared, “This isn’t funny, young lady.” Her searing gaze turned to Beck. “Get your hands off her, it's indecent!”
“Oh, mom!” Millie exclaimed. “It isn’t indecent for two people in love.”
Beck tensed as a cosmic beat thumped through him, and then the world came into focus again. He took Millie and whirled her toward him, while their mother was exclaiming her protests.
“Say that again,” he uttered fiercely.
Millie clutched his shoulders, looking at him in surprise, then she quite clearly said, “I love you, Beck, I always have.”
Over the top of Millie’s declaration, their mother yelled, “Of course you love him, you are family, but you cannot do this-this thing!”
Beck didn’t say he loved her back, but he did cup her face in his hands and he pulled her up to kiss her with fierce emotions, until she gasped a hurt sound, because their mother had slugged her back to get their attention.