by Chelsea Roy
Sound of Regret
a 'Sound Of' Novel
by Chelsea Roy
Kindle Edition
Copyright © 2015 Chelsea Roy
All Rights Reserved
Cover Design by Mayhem Cover Creations
Formatting by Mayhem Cover Creations
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means.
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events described in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to you – my one and only. Everything good stems from us. It always has. You have my heart now and forever.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
TWENTY-THREE
TWENTY-FOUR
TWENTY-FIVE
TWENTY-SIX
TWENTY-SEVEN
TWENTY-EIGHT
EPILOGUE
PROLOGUE
Ellie Williams sat on the full-sized bed across from her roommate, Macy Greene. Macy had come into the living room and asked Ellie to come into in her room. Macy’s request puzzled Ellie just a little. Although they were roommates and casual friends, they didn’t spend a lot of time together. They definitely weren’t in the same social groups, Macy preferring what Ellie privately referred to as “snobs”. Their social differences hardly seemed to matter at the moment because Macy had just delivered news of the unimaginable kind.
“Wait. You’re going to do what?” Ellie asked Macy, completely dumbfounded. Ellie was so stunned at Macy’s words that her surroundings faded into the background and she barely registered the bright sun streaming into the room or the warmth it created.
“I’m ending it with Jack. I’m done.” Macy repeated the words slowly as if she was talking to someone who wasn’t all there. Ellie shook her head still not really comprehending.
“But you love Jack. And he loves you. Christ, he proposed to you!” Ellie kept to herself the thought that Macy was just about the luckiest woman on the planet to have the attention of someone like Jack Tate. She watched in disbelief as Macy flung her silky black hair over her shoulders and shrugged casually. Ellie wasn’t a violent person, but her hand itched to slap the superior look off Macy’s pretty face.
“Jack’s going nowhere,” Macy said bluntly. She left her bed, moving around the room. Her silky white shirt flowed perfectly over her skinny jeans. “The last thing I need in my life is some wannabe rocker who doesn’t amount to anything.” Macy’s words were cruel and disparaging and cut Ellie on Jack’s behalf. He was a talented musician, of that there was no doubt. But like anything in that field, success took time. Jack just hadn’t found his niche yet, but Ellie was certain he would and when it happened, Jack’s success would be monumental.
Ellie suddenly clued in to what was going on in a big way. “You’ve found someone else,” She accused Macy softly. And was lividly pissed off when Macy grinned at her with no remorse.
“Yeah, I have. He’s already in the MBA program and he’s got a great future. His dad owns a huge financial investment company and he’s already got a six figure job lined up. I’m never going to have to worry about anything.” Ellie shook her head at just how shallow Macy was. She’d always known that Macy was into more materialistic things than she was but she never dreamed it went this far. She and Macy had roomed together for the past two years, almost directly after graduating high school. Ellie knew Macy’s plans for her life included having obscene amounts of money at her disposal.
“That’s so damn shallow.” Ellie told her bluntly. Macy shrugged her shoulders again and Ellie wanted to strangle the girl for her lack of concern over what she was doing. In that moment, Ellie knew Macy didn’t care about Jack’s feelings at all. She watched as Macy pulled off the small diamond ring that graced her left hand ring finger and handed it to Ellie.
“What do I do with this?” Ellie asked her, confused.
“I’m leaving now. Jack will take everything better coming from you anyway. He has a soft spot for you.” Macy’s eyes were knowing as they looked at Ellie. “Somehow I think you’ll find just the right way to tell him.” Ellie’s throat tightened as she wondered if Macy knew the depth of her feelings toward Jack. Ellie didn’t want to be the one to hurt Jack; not ever. She wanted to force Macy to confront Jack.
“You’re a real bitch, you know that?” She told Macy with rare venom in her tone. Ellie was an easy-going person and seldom got angry at anyone. But this situation was surreal and Macy was unrepentant.
“Sorry Ellie. You know I’ve got to look out for number one.” And with that, Macy grabbed an overflowing duffle that Ellie hadn’t noticed before and walked out of their small apartment without saying another word. Ellie’s shoulders sank as she realized Jack wasn’t the only one Macy was screwing over. She was throwing Ellie to the wolves while making her escape, leaving her to tell Jack the bad news and leaving her stuck with an apartment she couldn’t afford on her own.
As Ellie sat on Macy’s bed wondering what in the hell she’d tell Jack when he came over, the afternoon lengthened into evening. She continued to sit there even as shadows fell across the floor. Her stomach churned with worry. She had a difficulty enough time communicating with Jack in normal circumstances because of how she felt about him. She had no idea how to handle breaking this kind of news to him. She was so out of her depth that she felt like she was sinking to the bottom of a vast ocean. It seemed like hours before she heard the front door open and footfalls move across the carpet. Ellie watched silently as Jack poked his head into the room. Ellie couldn’t stop her heart from turning over at the sight of his inky black hair and beautifully masculine face.
“Hey, Els,” he said casually. “What the hell are you doing sitting in Macy’s room?” Jack looked around at the mess, seeming to notice everything with his vivid blue eyes. They finally settled on her. “And why are you in the dark?” His voice implied he was the tiniest bit worried about her state of mind.
“Hey, Jack.” She responded finally, her voice flat. Jack eased into the room and sat down on the bed across from her. Ellie snorted inwardly. Ironically, he was sitting in the same spot Macy had been.
“What’s up Ellie?” Jack said, his tone changing, softening. They’d known each other ever since high school and Jack knew her well enough to know when something was wrong. One thing Macy was right about; Ellie knew Jack had a soft spot for her. What Jack had never known, nor had anyone else except Ellie’s best friend Regan, was that Ellie had been crazy in love with Jack for as long as she’d known him.
“Macy’s gone.” She told him softly, watching his face carefully.
“I can see that, baby.” Jack told her calmly. “But I’m more worried about you right now.” Ellie’s heart squeezed at his use of an endearment and his concern for her, but that was precisely why she loved Jack. Ellie closed her eyes briefly and prayed for the courage to get through the next few minutes. She shook her head at him and could feel the weight of her hair brush softly across her shoulders.
“No. She’s gone. Like, for good.” Ellie op
ened her eyes and reached out her hand toward Jack. When he automatically extended his own hand to hers, she dropped the engagement ring into his open palm.
“What the fuck?” He asked, sounding completely confused.
“I’m so sorry Jack.” Ellie’s voice cracked. “She just… left.” Ellie put her hand on Jack’s knee, the warmth of his body seeping through his jeans and heating her palm.
“Who?” He demanded, his tone moving from confused to outright pissed. Ellie wasn’t surprised Jack wrapped his head around what was going on so quickly. He had always been astute, clearly much more so than herself.
“Some guy in the MBA program. I don’t know. I don’t know him.” Ellie said miserably. Jack leapt up off the bed and started pacing around the room. Ellie watched as he shoved his fingers through his hair making it stand up into straight black spikes. When he eyeballed some of Macy’s perfume bottles left on her dresser, Ellie leapt up from the bed and stood in front of him.
“Please. Please don’t. I’ll just have to clean up the mess.” She put her hand on Jack’s arm and he shook it off roughly.
“Fuck,” he said furiously. “She just left you too, then. High and dry with rent and all that bullshit, right?” Ellie nodded, knowing it was useless to lie to Jack.
“Goddammit!” Jack shouted. Ellie flinched back. She came from a non-confrontational family and hated explosions like this. Her family talked through things calmly and rationally. Jack, on the other hand, was well-known for his outbursts. He had the soul of a tortured artist. The differences in their upbringing and his sometimes over-the-top attitude didn’t stop Ellie from loving him like crazy, though.
“It’ll be okay Jack.” Ellie told him reassuringly. She reached out and squeezed his arm, then linked her hand into his. As they stood there in the deepening twilight holding hands, Ellie wasn’t so sure. Jack made no move to shake her off, but tension radiated off his body and hurt poured through the air.
“For who, Ellie? For fucking who?” Jack asked her, his voice cracking. Jack finally broke their contact and turned away from her in an obvious attempt to compose himself. Ellie silently moved past him, walking down the hall and into the apartment’s small galley kitchen. She pulled down a bottle of Macy’s Johnny Walker Black Label sitting up on the top shelf. Macy kept it around “just in case”. Ellie poured two shots, figuring Macy wasn’t going to be drinking it anyway.
When she turned around to deliver the drink to Jack, she found that he had come up directly behind her in the kitchen. She handed him the glass and tipped her rim to his.
“To everything being okay,” she said. “For both of us.” Jack eyeballed her in the dark kitchen and watched as Ellie slammed the shot. He tossed his own down and swore.
“Nothing like solving the world’s problems the old fashioned way,” He sneered. Ellie poured him another full shot, and a smaller one for herself. They slammed their shots again.
“I hate this.” He admitted to her. Ellie leaned briefly against his shoulder and hugged his waist before letting him go again. She didn’t trust herself completely around him, but if anyone deserved to get shit-faced it was Jack. His fiancée had just done a colossal dump job on them both, but particularly on him. Ellie only lived with the girl. They hadn’t been planning to spend their lives together.
Ellie poured another shot, and then another, and kept pouring as Jack slammed them back. They eventually moved out of the kitchen and onto the living room floor, sitting on the carpet with the nearly empty bottle and shot glasses between them. From the way Jack held himself, it was obvious he was drunk.
“You know,” he slurred, “After my parents, I told myself I was never gonna get hitched. But with Macy I thought it was all okay. Shows me. So stupid.”
Ellie knew the story of his childhood and silently agreed that asking Macy to marry him was a huge leap of faith for him. Ellie pushed the bottle and the shot glasses out of the way and wrapped her arms around Jack’s waist. She leaned into him, pressing her face into his chest. She felt Jack stiffen briefly in her arms, but then he relaxed into the embrace. His face tilted down into her hair and he brought up a hand into her thick blonde strands, anchoring her body to his.
“We’re both better off without her. If this is the kind of person she is, we don’t need that.” Ellie’s words were soft, intended to placate and sooth. Her eyes slid closed and she breathed him in. She felt so damn guilty about the fact she was enjoying the opportunity to be near him that she almost couldn’t stand herself. She was twisting this situation around to benefit herself and acting on her impulses was just wrong. She knew she was taking horrible advantage of the situation, but this was her one chance to give into her feelings for Jack without him really remembering it.
Jack leaned his head back and Ellie knew he was staring at her. She opened her eyes and looked into eyes that were a deep, angry blue.
“Who takes care of you Ellie? While you’re running around taking care of everyone else, who makes sure you’re okay?” She lifted her slight shoulders in a shrug and didn’t answer him. Not wanting him to see the naked desire on her face, she buried into his chest again. She began to rub his back, her hands moving over the t-shirt covered skin slowly. She felt his fingers sift through the thick strands of her hair. She shifted her body so that she was straddling his lap, facing him. She was much shorter than him, but in this position their faces were almost level. It also meant that her breasts were pressed tight against his muscular chest. Her nipples hardened painfully at the contact.
“Ellie?” He asked, his confusion clear. And Jack was right to be confused. Ellie had always made an effort to keep her distance from him because of how deeply she felt about him. When everyone else hugged and joked and slapped backs or butts, Ellie was standoffish in a crowd. Her being physical with Jack in any kind of way was a new thing for them both. At that moment, she was grateful for the darkness that hid her burning cheeks as Ellie slammed back into reality. She pulled away from Jack’s neck and started to lift herself off him. She was mortified at her reaction and needed to get some space to regain her perspective. Jack tightened his arms around her neck, forcing her to stay on his lap. She stopped struggling and sank back down.
“I’m sorry Jack.” Her voice was breathless. He took her face in his hands and looked at her.
“Did you know what you were doing?” He asked her bluntly, if somewhat drunkenly. She nodded, knowing she was admitting to coming onto him. To wanting him. His fingers ran over her cheekbones. “And you want this?” He asked her, with disbelief clear in his voice.
Ellie cleared her throat. “Yes,” she responded. “Yes.” She shifted restlessly in his lap. She wanted this moment more than she had ever wanted anything. Ellie knew this was her only shot to be with Jack and to do something she so desperately craved to do. She had spent so much time wishing she was with Jack, she had never given anyone else the time of day.
“It’s not going to be all romance and roses and shit. I’m fucking pissed off at my ex and I’m drunk. I’m not ready for another relationship. Hell, until today I didn’t even know the relationship I was in was over.” Jack told her bitterly. Ellie’s heart ached for him.
“I know,” she told him, calmly. “I don’t expect anything from this except you, tonight.” She pressed herself harder onto his lap, squeezing the outside of his legs with her thighs. Ellie didn’t give herself the opportunity to wish things were different, to wish her first time wasn’t with the drunk boy she was in love with. Tonight would be cherished by her and that was enough.
Slowly Jack pressed his mouth against hers. It seemed like he was giving her a chance to escape, to change her mind. Ellie had no plans to go anywhere and returned his slow kiss. Jack gently cradled her face in his hands and despite his previous words, Ellie felt cherished as he gave her several short, soft kisses. She shifted against him restlessly, rubbing against him to try to ease the ache at her core.
“You want more?” He asked her. She nodded against his lips and
he pressed his mouth back to hers, his tongue sliding through the seam of her lips to touch hers. She tasted the whiskey on his breath and a unique flavor that was all Jack. She moaned slightly in excitement and held onto the back of his head with her hands. Her heart beat so hard the she felt like it was going to take flight right out of her chest.
She was briefly disoriented as Jack maneuvered their bodies so that they were stretched out on the carpet. Jack’s weight rested on top of her, his hips cradled between her thighs. It was a delicious feeling, one she had waited years to experience and never dreamed she would.
“More?” He asked her again, his voice deeper than before.
“Please.” Ellie moaned. Her body jerked as if electrified when Jack brought a hand up to her breast and plucked at her tight nipple. She couldn’t stop herself from rocking against the hardness pressed at her core. Jack continued to kiss her with deep, drugging kisses as he played with first one nipple, then the other. Small moans were vibrating from the back of Ellie’s throat and she hooked her ankle around the back of Jack’s leg.
“More?” He whispered. This time, Ellie could only moan. Her desire had reached a level she had only imagined existed. At Ellie’s assent, Jack leaned back and roughly unbuttoned her jeans. Ellie knew her panties were drenched with wetness and she was flooded with a new round of moisture as the backs of his fingers brushed against her bare stomach. Quickly, and with finesse Ellie didn’t want to examine too closely, Jack had her jeans and panties tugged off.
While Jack was down at her feet, he pressed a nipping kiss to the top of her foot. As he traveled back up her body, he stopped and pressed his face between her legs. Before Ellie could even process his intent, Jack had circled her clit once, twice, with his tongue. Ellie’s legs fell open in surprise and she cried out at the exquisite feeling. His hands grabbed her hip bones and he circled the hard nub several times with a stiffened tongue. Ellie didn’t recognize the sounds coming out of her mouth and knew she would probably be embarrassed by them later when she relived this moment. Ellie jerked her back off the floor as she felt his tongue spear into her.