by Chelsea Roy
“Oh my God,” gasped Regan when Ellie pulled the text up and showed her the screen. “Are you going to do it?”
Ellie’s heart was hammering. She really had no idea how Jack had found her in the crowd. She’d worn simple clothing, definitely nothing to stand out. She hadn’t been yelling and screaming like some of the women around her. Yet he had found her, and once in his sights, he’d sang every song to her. Her blood was pumping and she felt like she was on an incredible high. To have that gorgeous man who had once been hers singing to her with his beautiful voice was an experience she wouldn’t soon forget.
“Fuck!” She shouted. She hated the chaos and confusion his text invoked. Her voice was lost in the crowd and Ellie was thankful that she could freely express just how confused she was at the moment.
As much as Ellie didn’t want to respond to Jack’s request, she knew she would. It was a conditioned response but this time, she had her own reasons for giving in. Reasons she didn’t plan to share with Regan. Jack had always said that Ellie was the only person who didn’t want anything from him. But Ellie did have something that she wanted from him, something only Jack could give her. She knew what Jack planned for the night. He would be the same tonight as he’d been every other time they’d been together. He would share his body with her and nothing more. Even their friendship had grown strained over the last few years because they were moving down such divided paths. Tonight, though, Ellie wasn’t leaving the planning up to Jack. She wouldn’t rest her fate in his hands and wait for him to decide what was best. Tonight Ellie was taking control.
“Yes.” Ellie answered Regan with finality. “I’m going to do it.” She pulled the text back up on her phone as Regan hugged her hard. Regan didn’t know what Ellie was planning, but she did know how much Ellie loved Jack and how miserable she’d been without him the past few months. Ellie felt an avalanche of guilt rush through her at the thoughts that were running through her head. She knew once she agreed to meet up with him she would follow through on taking control and using Jack for herself. God knew he’d never suffered an ounce of remorse for how he’d treated her over the years so she wasn’t so sure why she felt so guilty for using him for her own purposes.
“Where?” she responded back simply, knowing in her heart that the course of her life was going to change after tonight.
FOUR
As much as Ellie had played up the romanticism of the evening in her head, the reality of getting through the security guards was an absolute nightmare. Destruction was staying in one of the nicer hotels in downtown San Diego and after she’d shown some identification at the front desk, she had been directed toward Jack’s entourage. Most of the guards working that night didn’t know her, hadn’t been around when she and Jack were together. Once she had identified herself to the burly group of men, she was personally escorted a dozen floors up by a silent hulk of a man. She wasn’t normally intimidated by people but this guy was massive and looked just a little mean. When they reached their destination, she again had to show her identification to the security guard posted at Jack’s door. Ellie shook her head with the insanity of it all but knew it was part and parcel of the price Jack had to pay for being so famous.
Ellie was finally let into Jack’s hotel room and her heart knocked loudly against her ribs. She moved silently down a short, dimly lit hallway. The room was deathly quiet and that made Ellie’s rapid heartbeat sound all that much louder. Her breath caught when she reached the end of the hallway and she saw Jack sitting bare-chested in the spacious living area. He sat on the plush sofa, a glass filled with amber liquid in his hand. She knew from experience that the glass contained Scotch on the rocks. She hated the taste of it in a glass, but loved the flavor of it on his lips. She watched as he twirled the glass in his hands causing the liquid to swirl and the ice to clank against the sides of the glass. It seemed almost like a nervous movement but as soon as the thought entered Ellie’s head, she dismissed it. Jack was never nervous, especially not with her. She was too familiar to him, their relationship too comfortable, for him to get worked up over.
While she waited in the silence for him to notice her presence or for the nerve to move forward to strike her, her eyes roamed over him. She was so hungry for the sight of him. She had never gone so long without seeing him and she was relieved that he looked almost exactly the same in person as he did in her memory. She saw minor changes to his appearance here and there and realized with a sharp pang of regret that it had been a year since their last time together.
She took the time to catalogue every last thing about him. The snap to his jeans was unbuttoned. His long legs were sprawled in front of him, his feet bare. His tattoos were wrapped around the muscles on his arms and Ellie was fiercely glad to see his chest was still free of ink. There was nothing marring the beautiful perfection of his muscular chest and rippled abs. His sleeves were sexy as hell to her, but the rest of his body was a physical work of art and in her opinion it would have been a shame to cover those muscles with ink. She thought he looked like some sort of lazy demigod sitting there waiting for one of his subjects to arrive.
Working up every last amount of nerve she possessed, Ellie cleared her throat and broke the silence. Jack’s head lifted slowly. When he saw her standing in the hall, he stood, causing his jeans to drop dangerously low onto his hips. From her vantage point it didn’t look like he was wearing any boxers under there.
“You came.” His voice was hoarse from the concert. It was one of the things she had loved about his chosen career. After concerts his voice was always rough and sandpapery. Hearing him talk was incredibly sexy after he’d sung his heart out to his fans. Just the sound of it caused liquid to pool between her thighs as she recalled the times she’d been with him after concerts. He was always pumped and horny after his concerts and she was a willing participant to any game he wanted to play. The combination of Jack’s euphoria and the sound of his voice led to each time being incredible. Ellie wondered what was on his agenda for this evening because he seemed much mellower than she’d ever seen him after a concert. The deviation from their norm threw Ellie off and made her feel uncertain. She wasn’t sure she cared for the feeling.
“I came.” She finally agreed softly. She stood there in her Converse, straight-leg jeans and black Destruction midriff t-shirt and felt not one ounce of insecurity. She had known Jack far too long to worry about being good enough for him or sexy enough to keep him. She knew well enough that she didn’t need to strap on stilettos or a skintight dress to keep him interested in her. He liked her just as she was. She just wished she could tell what was going on in his head because his mood was completely unreadable.
“What about your man?” He asked her. His eyes glittered strangely, a savage blue. She was surprised he even thought to ask, but worked hard to keep the shock off her face. Whatever was happening tonight seemed like it was teetering on some invisible ledge and she didn’t want to tip it the wrong way.
“He thinks I’m spending the night with Regan.” The lie rolled off Ellie’s tongue smoothly. “I told him we were going to go out clubbing after the concert.” Ellie hadn’t been clubbing in forever, but Jack didn’t know that.
“So, what is this between us tonight then? You just want to hook up for old time’s sake, is that it?” Jack sounded strangely angry as he stood there. Ellie’s uncertainty came roaring forward because it wasn’t like Jack to care what the reason for her arrival was. Ellie took a step closer to him, trying to placate him.
“Tonight is about the fact that you asked me to come. You knew I wouldn’t say no to you. What’s between us has never been just a hookup and you know it.” She responded honestly, although again softly. She knew there was no part in her plans this evening for anger. In order to keep control, she would have to tread very carefully. She knew if she focused on his words and their whole screwed up relationship, she would get pissed and they would fight. And if Jack had any idea that she’d lied to him so utterly about her life he wou
ld be beyond pissed and that would lead to a conversation she had no interest in having.
“What if I want romance tonight?” Jack asked her. Ellie was completely thrown and she stood there staring at him. He had never acted so strangely toward her and she was at a loss for how to respond to him.
“That’s not something that’s ever been between us Jack. I didn’t come here for that.” She said finally. Jack nodded at her and strolled to the bar. She watched silently as he filled his drink up again.
“You did come just to hook up. Since that’s why you’re here, you’ve got too many damn clothes on Ellie. Take them off. Now.” Again, Jack sounded vaguely angry at her. Ellie cringed a little inside at the lack of feeling in Jack’s words but she remained calm. She had known only one thing about the way tonight would go and that was it would go unexpectedly. Ellie wished briefly that her last time with Jack wasn’t going to be so devoid of feeling. She loved him and she ached to show it but like she told Jack, romance had never been something between the two of them no matter how much she wished otherwise. Ellie took a deep, bracing breath and toed off her Converse. She reached down and stripped off her socks. She unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans and slowly pushed them over her hips, leaving her panties in place. She hooked the hem of her t-shirt and pulled it over her head and let it fall into the heap with the rest of her clothes. She stepped free of the pile and stood there in her matching black lacy bra and cheeky panties, nearly naked and feeling very off balance. Given Jack’s mood, she had no idea what to anticipate next.
“Now you Jack.” She said to him quietly, trying desperately to maintain control over the situation. “It’s only fair.” She knew she had his full attention and didn’t want to give him time to think. She felt relieved as she watched Jack casually unzip his jeans and let them drop to the carpet beneath him. She had been right, he wasn’t wearing anything under his jeans. He seemed unconcerned about the fact that he stood naked in front of her. She was relieved to see he was already erect. Despite his outward calm, at least part of him was feeling something.
“El…” Jack seemed to hesitate briefly. He sighed noisily. “I thought it wouldn’t matter to me that you’re with another man. I thought I could do this to you. That he wouldn’t matter to me at all.” Jack gave a short laugh. “I don’t want you to hate yourself after this for cheating on him. Turns out I have a conscious after all and it does matter. Who knew?”
Ellie was stunned that Jack cared anything at all about the repercussions from any of his actions, especially the ramifications cheating would have on her. He had never seemed to care either way before and had never even asked her if there was anyone else in her life. Ellie hated the uncertainty and the thoughts his words were provoking. She didn’t know if she could maintain her distance from Jack if he’d really changed and hated herself for even considering getting back together with him. Reigning in her emotions, she took several steps forward until she stood just in front of him. The lacy cups of her bra brushed against the light sprinkling of dark hair on his chest. She could feel the heavy beat of his heart thrumming against her, and felt the warmth his muscled skin radiated. She could also feel his solid erection against her belly.
“It’s okay Jack. I’ll be okay. Any consequence that comes from tonight rests completely on my shoulders, not yours.” She smiled at him tremulously. “I need this from you tonight. I know you’ve always said that I never want anything from you, but tonight I do. I’m want to be with you tonight. No regrets. Please.” She entreated him softly. Standing there with her body lightly touching his, she didn’t give him a chance to respond to her plea as she bent her arms behind her back and unclasped her bra. Her arms came down to her sides, and she knew she had her answer when Jack brought his hand up and gently, so gently, drew the bra strap down her right shoulder. His fingertips grazed her nipple as he brought his hand down. The bra fell to the ground between them. Their breathing sounded unnaturally loud in the silent room. Despite the fact Ellie denied it, the anticipation and slow seduction created an atmosphere that felt a lot like romance.
Jack moved suddenly and lifted Ellie into his arms. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist and her arms went around his neck. He was incredibly strong and Ellie cherished the sensation of being held and carried by him. She fantasized briefly he was carrying her this way because he cherished her, because he loved her. As soon as the fantasy formed, she pushed it out of her head. Thoughts like that were dangerous in too many ways to count and would only leave her heart even worse off.
Jack carried her the short distance into the suite’s bedroom. He backed onto the bed and sat. Ellie’s legs dropped. She sat there with her knees on the bed, straddling him. Jack’s eyes were trained on her face watching her every reaction. Her panties were all that separated their bodies and she could feel her damp core pressed against his thick length. She moved restlessly against him, shamelessly rubbing up and down his length. A year without Jack left her aching to experience him again. The fact that Jack wasn’t rushing the moment, that he seemed to care about her, made the experience all the more potent.
“You sure you’re going to be okay with this?” He asked her gruffly as his eyes roamed over his face. “Last chance to back out.” Ellie’s heart clenched so hard she had to fight back tears. Jack knew she wasn’t a cheater, never had been. Why he would choose now to care about someone else’s feelings was beyond her. Clearly something had changed within him over the last year because this wasn’t the same Jack she knew.
“Yes, Jack, yes. I want this. I want you.” Ellie took his face into her hands and ran her thumbs over his stubbled cheeks. She captured his lips in hers and tasted the Scotch he’d drunk. She gasped slightly as Jack quickly twisted their bodies so that she lay beneath him. He yanked her panties down and off and she felt him impatiently shifting his hips into the cradle of her thighs. Ellie relaxed. This was the Jack she knew. He was impatient and demanding in bed.
“Do you want me to wear a condom El?” His voice was strained. “I’ll hate it but I’ll do it for you so you don’t have to have me inside you when you’re with him.” Ellie’s hands fell to his shoulders and she ran them down his muscular arms where they came to rest on the beautiful tattoos he had there.
“Are you still clean Jack?” she asked. She prayed to God he said yes because she didn’t want a single thing between the two of them on their last night together. In the past, they had never used anything. After every “break”, Jack religiously got tested to make sure he was safe to be with Ellie without anything. Jack hated using protection but claimed she was the only one he trusted enough go bare with. Ellie had always believed him because as selfish as Jack was, he never once set out to purposely hurt her.
“Fuck yes. I haven’t slept with anyone since the day after our last call.” Jack’s honest confession rocked Ellie to her core. She knew by how he phrased his words that after their last call, Jack had gone out and fucked some random girl to try to forget. Ellie was absolutely stunned, though, because she couldn’t believe he’d gone so many months without finding some random groupie to hook up with. Second thoughts about what she was doing ran on a continuous loop through her head. She wasn’t able to form any words so she moved her hands to his taut ass and put pressure on him to move forward. It was her way of telling him without words she wanted him inside her. Her eyes lifted to his at the precise moment he thrust forward into her. She cried out at the exquisite sensation and dimly heard him groan.
“Christ El, you have to relax. You’re so tight,” he told her through gritted teeth. She watched his face as he struggled for control. “It feels like when we were first together. I had to work extra hard until your body finally got used to me. I’ve always wondered if every other guy you’ve been with has been midget-sized.” Ellie huffed out a surprised laugh. Of course, Jack had no idea that he was the last man she’d been with. Hell, he had no idea he was the only man she had ever been with. But they weren’t going there tonight. Oh no. She struggled
not to hold onto the knowledge that he remembered details about their relationship and apparently thought about them. Her stupid heart was ever hopeful where Jack was concerned, no matter how many times it had been trampled on.
“I can’t believe you thought that!” She said, somewhat indignantly, and then moaned as he gently swiveled his hips. Ellie’s body struggled to accommodate him. Even though her body was drenched for him, it had been a year since he’d been inside her. From her admittedly limited knowledge and some porn she and Regan had giggled over once, Jack was only slightly longer than the average man. His width was another story.
Jack continued the tiny thrusts of his hips. His lips nipped at her ear, then her neck, and then finally at her lips. Ellie gasped into his mouth when he pulled nearly all the way out and then pushed back in swiftly. Jack took full advantage of her reaction, kissing her deeply. Ellie’s body slowly began to relax and she widened her legs for him. He groaned into her mouth and she found that incredibly exciting.
Jack broke the kiss and Ellie watched with lowered lids as Jack moved up to his knees and pulled her body forward. His hand went between their bodies to circle her clit. He kept up the short bucking rhythm of his hips and his stubbled chin dropped to the space between her neck and shoulder, trapping his hand between their bodies. He licked and sucked in that spot. He knew it drove Ellie crazy. Ellie’s hips rose up to meet his thrusts, the sounds their bodies made incredibly erotic to her. The grinding of his hips and the press of his fingers felt amazing.
Ellie had no shyness with Jack. Although she was somewhat adventurous with him, she didn’t usually voluntarily touch herself without him first prompting her, or leading her to do so. She wanted tonight to be different for them and more importantly, memorable to him. She knew it would stay with her always and wanted Jack to have just a little of the same torment. Taking the lead, Ellie reached up to lightly pinch her own nipples and gave a low laugh as Jack momentarily lost his rhythm. She watched as his lips came down to capture her right nipple and gave it a sharp tug.