A small sliver of fear creeps into my mind amongst the euphoric feeling surging through me at having my first kiss, but I push it down. Fear isn’t welcome right now. I have no experience, but that doesn’t matter. He seems to be enjoying it just as much as me, so I must be doing something right. He breaks the kiss, and I open my eyes, heaving in a giant breath—unable to help the smile that spreads across my face. But it doesn’t last, as I see the look on his. My mood and the feeling within me plummets as he rakes his hands across his face looking everywhere but at me. Insecurities start to rise, and I panic, thinking I did something really wrong.
I’m about to ask, but he speaks before me. ‘That can’t happen again.’ And my stomach feels like it’s fallen through my feet.
‘Was it that bad?’ I question honestly because for me it felt amazing.
‘No, I shouldn’t have… Fuck.’ He yanks at his hair like he is despairing.
‘Why?’ is all I can manage.
‘Why?’ he says like I’m an idiot and should know the answer. ‘Because I shouldn’t have kissed you.’
‘Okay… Again… Why not?’ He closes his eyes against whatever he wants to say. His jaw clenches. And I’ve about had it. ‘Do you have a girlfriend?’
‘It’s not that,’ he says almost guiltily. ‘I’m twenty-two, and you’re still—’
‘If you say what I think you’re about to say I will cut your fucking balls off and feed them to you.’ His eyes widen minutely, and he snorts back a laugh.
‘Howard, I’m not some stupid kid. I’m seventeen, past the legal age of consent in this country if my research is correct.’
‘You looked it up?’
‘Don’t change the subject, Howard,’ I growl. ‘Why did you bring me here? If you don’t want me, then what’s the fucking point?’
‘It’s not that I don’t want you… Fuck me, I do, but I’m five years older than you—’
‘Jesus, you’re acting like you’re old enough to be my dad! What’s five years? It’s just a number, Howard!’ I move forward. His face shows arousal and need, but as he closes his eyes, I see the internal battle come to the forefront and I know this is pointless, so I stop.
‘It’s your birthday soon.’ It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact.
‘Yeah, so what?’
‘That won’t be so bad.’
‘Oh, so you’ll want me when I’m eighteen? You going to go and fuck your human slut some more while I wait patiently for you?’
‘Willow!’
‘Not a no then? Fuck you, Howard.’
‘Don’t you walk away!’
‘Or what?’ I challenge him while walking backwards. ‘If you’re too embarrassed to be with me while I’m seventeen, then my birthday is irrelevant. I’ll find someone who wants me for me, and isn’t embarrassed by me.’
His jaw tenses more and more with each step I take. ‘Willow!’ He growls, which just makes me more determined. I turn, flipping him the bird as I do. I’m no more than five paces before I feel his firm grip like a vice on my upper arm.
‘Will you stop?’ he demands.
I roll my eyes. ‘Nothing more to say, Howard. Go and fuck your whore. I’ll do me, you do you—leave me the fuck alone,’ I tell him like I don’t care. I do. I really, really do. But he’s just ruined what should have been one of the best moments of my life. One I should have been able to look back on with happiness.
FUCK. WHAT AM I thinking? I need my head in the game and should be dealing with pack problems. Instead, I’m worrying about Jordan taking what I want. And yet, I can’t bring myself to claim her because of five fucking years. My phone rings in my pocket. I almost ignore it but check the screen. It’s Jared.
‘What’s with you not allowing Jordan to take Willow into town?’
‘He doesn’t just want to take her into town. He wants to take her on a fucking date!’ I growl.
‘And?’ he questions me.
‘Jared, don’t! You fucking know why!’
‘I fucking know you’re not doing anything about it. I can’t demand she doesn’t see anyone because you have feelings you won’t fucking act on. What am I supposed to say? ‘Sorry, Willow, you need to stay fucking celibate until Howard mans the fuck up?’’
‘She’s eighteen soon,’ is all I can say.
‘She’ll also be Jordan’s soon if you don’t wake the fuck up and deal with it.’
‘Brody—’
‘Fuck Brody or anyone else for that matter. Do you fucking want the female or not?’
I don’t have to even think about it. ‘Yes.’
‘Does she want you or Jordan?’
‘I don’t know now.’
‘Howard, I’ve told him no this time, but I won’t do it again. If he wants to take her out tomorrow or next week, then he can, providing she wants to go with him. It’s up to you. My advice is, don’t be a fucking idiot. So what if she’s seventeen? It’s not like you’re old enough to be her father. Only person who sees a problem with it is you… and Brody, but that’s a different problem altogether.’
I grunt in reply, and he hangs up the phone. I sit on a felled tree log and ponder on what he’s just said. A few minutes later I get a text.
Jared — ‘I’ve just had my head bitten off by the same female your arse is pining for. Man the fuck up. She’s in her room.’
I sigh. Fuck me she’s a firecracker. My phone buzzes again.
Jared — ‘She’s with Jordan. You’re welcome.’
Fucking Jordan! Like my arse is on fire, I sprint for the house. It seems to take me forever to get to the door. When I do, I burn through the kitchen, ignoring all the looks I get, and up the stairs, going straight to Willow’s bedroom. I don’t even knock before I burst through the door. In my mind, I’m expecting to see Jordan in bed with Willow—all sorts of scenarios and my reactions to them are going through my head. All of which end with Jordan’s untimely death. What I find couldn’t be more different. Willow in pink PJ’s with a box of tissues tucked in between her crossed legs, her eyes are swollen from crying, and her face is red. I stop dead as our eyes meet, and I raise my hand just in time to shield my face from the flying remote control she launches as she sees it’s me. But I soon realise that I’m not safe as everything she has that isn’t screwed down, comes hurtling at my head, including the sky remote, a bedside lamp, and several DVD boxes that were sitting on her side table. The last is the box of tissues, which I catch and take back.
Willow is out of breath and seething with anger. Her eyes are wild, and she clearly wants to cause me pain of some kind, but I ignore it, knowing I’ve got to make this right. I sit beside her, and she throws herself at me in a tirade of verbal abuse. She feebly smacks me over and over on my chest, trying and failing to push me away. I’m getting pissed now.
‘Willow, behave your-fucking-self,’ I tell her, grasping her arms in my hands.
‘Get the fuck out then,’ she screams in my face.
‘After I’ve said what I’ve come to say, I’ll go if you still want me to.’ That takes her back a little, and her eyes widen just a bit. ‘Now, are you gonna fucking hit me again, or can I let your arms go?’ She doesn’t respond, just grunts and tries, failing of course, to free her hands from my grip.
‘Willow!’ I chastise.
‘Fine,’ she yells, so I let her go.
‘I’m sorry—’ Whack. The sound and the fucking sting of her hand slapping across my face resonate at the same time, and I have to shake my head against the blow to right my vision. I open my eyes just in fucking time to block the next slap.
‘I’ll give you that one, Willow, but I won’t fucking let you do it a second time. Now calm the fuck down, or I’ll tie you to this fucking bed and spank your arse.’ All the breath seems to rush out of her as her wild eyes glaze over with tears.
‘Please, just leave me alone,’ she says, sounding dejected and hurt. I did that. And it makes me feel sick to the stomach. I hate her like this.
‘
Willow, look at me.’ Her eyes lift to mine with reluctance. ‘Listen to me, okay?’ She nods her agreement. ‘I am not embarrassed to be with you. I never would be, but I also have reservations because of your life before here, my life, and then there’s Brody. I’m five years older than you. I know it’s just a number, and I know you’re not a kid. But if you were twenty-two and me seventeen, what would you do?’
‘That’s irrelevant.’
‘Okay, well look at it this way. In your country, you’re still classed as a child until you’re eighteen right? Age of consent there is the same?’
‘We’re not in the states, Howard, again, irrelevant.’
‘It maybe irrelevant to you, but it’s a huge issue for your brother who believes you to be innocent and in need of his protection—especially from a bastard like me.’
‘So, he’s the reason why?’
‘Yes and no. I’ve grown to respect him over the last few weeks, and he will not accept me being with you. That could potentially be very dangerous for the pack overall. But not only that, a part of me knows he’s right. I am a bastard. I’m selfish and usually take what I want and leave when it comes to women. There are no feelings involved. Love isn’t even a part of my DNA. I’m not capable of it. And you’re only seventeen. I know you’re a virgin. And I know I’m not the right guy for you.’
‘Okay.’ She looks down at her fingers, which she is worrying in her lap.
‘I’m not done.’ Her eyes come back to meet mine. ‘I also can’t sit back and watch you with Jordan. So it leaves me with a dilemma.’
‘Okay,’ she says quietly.
‘I can’t deny that the moment you threatened to cut off my balls, even with your split lip and black eyes, you were gorgeous to me. My heart was yours from that moment on. And I’ve battled with myself ever since. Making excuses and giving reasons to everyone who needed to hear them for why I couldn’t be with you. Truth is, I’m scared as fuck. I don’t scare easily, and I don’t ever run from fear. I embrace it and battle through. But this has me in a state I never knew was possible. I think about you every fucking minute of the day. I find myself going out of my way so I can see you and speak to you. And then when I got scared I was getting too close, I made you turn away because I knew I wasn’t strong enough to. I tried to make you hate me—to make it easier on myself. But all I’ve done is make the situation more unbearable. I hate that I’ve upset you. I hate myself for it more than you ever could. Jared just told me that you were in here with Jordan and that made me murderous. I was ready to drag him out and claim you like a fucking cave man.’
‘But Jordan wasn’t ever in here.’ She smirks.
‘I see that now. The fucker played me, knowing what I’d do.’
‘So… what now?’
I laugh and shake my head. ‘Well, I guess if you want to—’
‘I do,’ she interrupts before I can finish. I look at her with raised brows and a smirk on my lips.
‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘Continue.’ She bites her bottom lip, and I can’t take it anymore. Gently, I move closer, pressing my lips against hers in a tender kiss. I grasp her face in both hands and guide her head, pulling her in closer. Her mouth opens giving me entry, and I seek out her tongue with my own. I can taste her tears on her lips, and fuck if that doesn’t make me kiss her more fervently. Before I know it, she’s got her back pressed against the bed, and I’m hovering over her like a predator going in for the kill. As I break the kiss, she sucks in a breath and bites down on her fucking lip again. I growl in appreciation, the noise making her giggle. I press my forearms flush to the bed, either side of her head and hold my weight on my elbows. I’m about to move in for another kiss when there’s a knock at the door. A quick inhale tells me it’s Brody. I close my eyes and press my forehead to Willow’s as she sighs in frustration.
‘Fuck,’ I whisper as I get up from the bed. My cock is solid in my jeans, and there is no hiding that motherfucker, but I adjust myself as best I can as Willow sits herself up on the bed, and I open the door. His face is like thunder as he obviously caught my scent just before I opened the door.
‘What the fuck are you doing in my sister’s bedroom?’
I look at him dead in the eyes. ‘Answering the door to an overprotective brother apparently.’
‘Don’t be smart. Why the fuck you here?’
‘Brody stop—’ Willow pleads.
‘I’m here because she’s mine—’
‘Like fuck she is, you dirty bastard.’ He comes at me, but before he can get a hand on me Willow is between us.
‘Stop, both of you!’ she yells, turning to look each of us in the eyes. I have a nonchalant look on my face—not giving a fuck anymore what Brody says. Decision made—she’s mine. I stand with my arms folded over my chest and my legs in a wide stance, ready to take the fucker on. His face is bright red, and I think he’s burst a couple of blood vessels—he’s so pissed. Willow has her hand on his chest and is pleading with him to let this go. He starts ranting about how I’m too old for her, how I am a bastard to women and how she deserves better. He’s right, but it’s not going to make one iota of difference to me now. I’ve made my mind up.
‘Brody, whatever you have to say, I get it and understand where you’re coming from. Yes, she deserves better, but I’m a selfish bastard because I don’t care anymore. I’ve fought it and lost. I want her, and she wants to give it a go, so just let it be.’
‘You fucking touch her, and I’ll kill you myself.’ If I didn’t respect him as a man, a wolf, and a valued member of this pack, I’d put him on his arse. But I also know that would devastate Willow. I’m not about to hurt her again if I can help it.
‘Brody, I’m not a little kid anymore. I don’t need you to protect me or fight my battles. I’m a big girl now. You need to let me go and stop with this,’ she tells him in a pleading tone.
‘Yeah, so I can pick up the pieces when he decides he doesn’t want you!’
‘Brody!’ I warn through gritted teeth because she looks at him like he’s just slapped her face.
‘Am I so bad that you can be so certain he won’t want me for long? Do you think that little of me?’
‘Be fucking careful what you say next, fucker!’ I warn him. But his eyes haven’t left his sister.
‘That’s not what I mean, Willow. You are worthy of anyone. Too good for him, and I don’t want you to get hurt.’
‘But you can’t stop me from getting hurt by not allowing me to have a full life, Brody’
‘It doesn’t matter what you say to me, Willow. You’re my kid sister, and he is older than me! That’s not right whichever way you look at it.’
I growl, and he puffs his chest out, eyeing me like he might challenge me. I fucking dare you, bitch! His eyes leave mine first as he takes Willow’s hand in his. ‘Will, I won’t ever like you seeing anyone. I can’t deny that. I don’t even like the thought of anyone’s hands on you, especially after everything back home. I’m sorry, but I just can’t accept it.’
Willow sighs in defeat and turns away from him, making her way back to the bed.
‘Well, I hope you like the taste of fucking disappointment because this is happening and there is fuck all you can do about it.’ I’m not being threatening, and I haven’t moved a muscle. I want to. I’d love to smack the cheeky smug bastard right in his face, but I don’t because he’s important to Willow. But I also intend to be, so he’d better fucking deal with it. He looks at Willow, ignoring me, and she shakes her head at him, disappointment clear on her face.
‘Touch her before she’s of age and I’ll fucking castrate you.’
I roll my eyes,
‘Okay, big brother, sure thing.’ I open the door and sweep my hand, inviting him politely to leave. I grit my teeth against the innate need to punch him square in the face. He looks at me like I’m a cheeky son of a bitch telling him to leave HIS sisters bedroom. I chuckle as he steps over the threshold. He gives Willow one last look before he turns and leaves.
I SIGH AS Howard closes the door. He comes over and sits on the edge of the bed.
‘I was hoping we could put that off for a while at least.’ He smiles sympathetically.
‘Why can’t he just be okay with this?’
‘Because you’re his little sister.’
‘He isn’t that much older than me. He’s only twenty-one.’
‘It wouldn’t matter if I were the perfect guy for you. Prince fucking Charming couldn’t stop him wanting to keep you locked away.’
I smile. I guess he’s right.
‘He’ll come around eventually.’
‘I hope so. I hate fighting with him. But he’s a stubborn ass.’
Howard laughs at that, putting his arm around my shoulder he pulls me into his side and looks down into my eyes.
‘Is this really what you want?’ I nod, biting my lower lip.
‘Thank fuck,’ he says. Clasping my cheeks in both hands, he kisses me. It’s a little different than before, a little more careful, less fervent and hungry, more tender and soft. I lose myself to it, as his tongue searches out mine. He twists a little, so we fall sideways across my bed. All sorts of things go through my mind about what could potentially happen next. Howard moves again, and before I know it, I am looking up at him. His arms are braced at either side of my face, holding most of his weight. Our lower bodies are touching in all the right places though, and his hard on is undeniable. I grind myself against it as he looks deep into my eyes. I’m not experienced in any way at this, but when a little groan slips from his lips, I think I have the right idea. His eyes close against the pleasure. Biting my lower lip, I grind my hips and manoeuvre my arms around his neck, pulling his whole body against mine. Our lips meet, and I’m lost to his taste. I want him—all of him. I suddenly feel desperate to feel his skin against mine. I move my fingers to the hem of his tee, pushing them under so I can feel the contours of his muscles in his back. With a little more courage, I explore the front, loving how the dips and lines feel under my fingertips, I become even more confident and move further south. I find the button to his jeans and my fingers fumble with inexperience. I feel him still against me. He pulls away, and the kiss ends. He kneels between my legs, his erection bulging, clearly needing to get out from its restraints. He doesn’t do anything, just stares down at me. He looks like he wants to devour me. Yet he remains upright and unmoving.
Fated Love (Stone Pack book 3) Page 5