Her face changes to a look of sympathy.
‘Oh, sweetness. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe tomorrow you will wake up, and things will start to come to you. You never know. Let’s be optimistic, eh?’
I smile because I can’t help it. She’s just so nice. ‘Sure hope you’re right,’ I tell her honestly.
***
I wake to find Howard at my side. I blink, and he looks at me expectantly. I see hope flicker in his eyes. I smile, a little shy.
‘Hey,’ I say not knowing what else to say.
‘You still don’t remember?’
‘I’m sorry,’ I tell him, genuinely meaning it. He looks pained. And I feel like I want to make that better. But I don’t know how or why. He puts his hand in mine, and I don’t move it away. Instead, I allow him to entwine our fingers the best he can with the cast in place. I don’t feel anything, and I feel guilty for that.
‘I wish you could remember,’ he whispers.
‘I do too,’ I tell him because I really do. If I could just remember, I wouldn’t be feeling so lost, like I’m missing a huge chunk of my life.
‘You know who I am?’ he asks
‘Yes, Brody explained that we’re bonded and… he doesn’t approve.’
He laughs, but it’s humourless. ‘That’s an understatement.’ He rolls his eyes. ‘Do you know why you’re in the hospital?’
‘I kinda do. He told me some stuff about our pack.’
‘Not your pack anymore, sweetheart.’
I shake my head. ‘Yeah, he told me that too, although not in too much detail.’
‘He tell you about the first time we met?’
I shake my head and smile waiting for him to tell me. ‘You threatened to cut my balls off, with your knife at my cock.’ He laughs, but again, there is no humour. ‘I knew you were meant for me then. I think I loved you from that first moment.’
I suddenly feel uncomfortable with the way the conversation is going, and I pull my hand away from his. He realises, and his face is bathed in sorrow.
‘I’m sorry, sweetheart, it’s just… it’s fucking hard.’
I close my eyes as I hear the pain in his voice. Something inside me is broken, and I need to fix it in order to fix him. ‘Please, just give me time. I just need time to heal.’
He nods and pushes himself away from the bed. ‘I’ll be back again tomorrow, and hopefully, you won’t be in those much longer,’ he says smiling and pointing to my casts.
I can tell he is hurting really and smiling just for me.
WHEN I GET back to my room, I find Brad, Maiya, Jared, and Devon, all with a look of disapproval.
‘What?’ I ask, knowing full well it’s because the nurse gave them grief about me disconnecting the machines and leaving the room again.
‘Can you ever behave?’ Devon asks.
I roll my eyes. ‘Come on. I’m always well behaved.’
She rolls her eyes this time.
‘That’s why the fucking nurse nearly had a coronary yesterday and just bust a gut telling me how bad you’ve been today,’ Jared pipes in. Brad and Maiya are sniggering, which makes me smile a little. I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly.
‘I’ll try harder,’ I tell them, not meaning a word.
‘Like fuck you will. They’ll be dancing behind you when you leave,’ Jared jokes.
‘I’m not going to sit here and leave Willow with Brody so he can fucking poison her mind.’
‘He isn’t doing that,’ Jared insists.
‘No? He told her he doesn’t agree with our bond and that he doesn’t like me. Hasn’t fucking told her it was his fault she was taken in the first place though. Bet he kept that to himself.’
‘I’ll have a word with him,’ Brad assures.
‘Won’t make a shit of difference. He’s set on hating me, and nothing you say will make a difference.’
‘We’ll see,’ Brad nods knowingly.
‘How is she?’ Devon asks.
I sigh. ‘She’s healing well, looking better every day, but her memory just isn’t coming back…’ I shrug my shoulders and sigh. I move to get back on the bed as the bitch nurse comes in. As I get myself seated on the bed, she’s clucking her tongue and sticking stickers and shit back onto my chest. I look over at Brad and Jared, who are both sniggering like fucking school kids at the situation. Devon smacks the pair of them as the nurse turns her dissatisfied look on them.
‘No more getting out of bed, Mr Clarke.’
‘Yeah yeah, sure,’ I tell her with a mock smile.
As she leaves Maiya asks, ‘Serious question, what are you going to do if she never gets her memory back?’
‘Fuck, I can’t even think about that,’ I tell her honestly.
‘Well, you might have to. You can’t live every day hoping it will come back and she’ll be yours again.’
‘Way to make a guy feel better, Maiya. Jesus,’ Brad complains.
‘Brad, don’t be a dick. I haven’t finished.’ Then she turns to me. ‘How did you make her yours in the first place? How did you get there?’
‘Well, I think it’s pretty obvious, Maiya?’
Shaking her head, she sighs. ‘Oh, for goodness sake. Not the sex part. Obviously, we know how the bonding happens. I’m talking about the rest of it?’
‘I’m not following?’ I shake my head confused.
‘She means how did you woo her. How did you get on her radar in the first place?’ Devon joins the conversation.
Ohh, now I get it. ‘I don’t know. I think I pissed her off more than anything.’
‘Oh, there’s a fucking surprise,’ Jared adds his two pennies.
‘Fuck you.’ I laugh. I really don’t know how I got to her. I was just a pain in her ass.
‘I didn’t actually instigate anything between us. I was going to wait…’
‘Ohhhh sure. You, the perfect gentleman.’
‘Well, obviously, I wasn’t—because it already happened, but it was her that didn’t want to wait.’
So all you’ve got to do is make her yours again, make her fall in love with you, help her to feel what you do,’ Maiya says proudly like she’s just found a way to make world peace.
‘Sounds like a piece of cake,’ Brad laughs. ‘With your happy-go-lucky personality, she’s gonna be putty in your hands in no time.’
He thinks he’s so fucking funny. ‘Fuck off, dickhead.’
‘Bradley. If you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all,’ Maiya chastises him.
‘Yeah, Bradley.’ I laugh at his face as his eyes widen at her using his full name.
‘Don’t call me that,’ he whispers.
‘What you don’t mind when—’ His face is a fucking picture.
‘That’s different! Now shhhh before you give all my fucking secrets away.’
She laughs, making the rest of us laugh along with her. As the night draws in, they all get ready to leave.
‘Be back tomorrow,’ Jared assures me. ‘And we’ll be popping in to see Willow too.’
‘Good, maybe put in a good word for me while you’re there.’
‘Maiya’s right, Howard. You can’t wait for her memory. I guess you have to start again?’ Devon says shrugging her shoulders,
They all wave from the door, and as I close my eyes to sleep, I think of all the ways I can try to woo Willow. I’m woken a while later by a nurse checking my temperature and giving me more fluid for the drip.
‘You can’t get a good night’s sleep in this fucking place,’ I mutter.
‘Well, you should think yourself lucky you have a private room. Not many get that luxury.’
‘Luxury? You being serious? I’ve been shot in the fucking chest. My woman is on another floor, and I’m being poked and fucking prodded every five minutes—you call that luxury? I’d fucking hate to see what the shitty part looks like.’
‘I can soon arrange it. Word is you’ve been a pain in the arse for the day staff. I can soon put you on a four-bedded wa
rd.’
‘You’re lucky I’m even still here. I’ll be out of here the second I’m able, that I fucking promise you.’
‘Well, aren’t you just a hoot to talk to,’ she says giving me a curt smile as she leaves the room.
‘Ditto,’ I mutter giving her the bird. She’d interrupted my dream. I had my tongue between Willow’s legs, tasting her pussy. Sooner I get out of here, the better. I buzz for the nurse.
‘What?’ she asks poking her head around the door.
‘I want a shower. Can you disconnect all this shit, please?’ At least I fucking asked nicely and didn’t just take it off again.
‘You realise it’s past three in the morning?’
‘Not really, the days and nights just merge into one in this place.’
‘Well, you can’t get a shower now, it will have to wait.’
‘Listen, I’m twenty-fucking-two. If I want a shower, I’ll get a fucking shower. All I asked is that you disconnect this shit—not give me a fucking sponge bath.’
‘And this is a hospital, not a hotel,’ she says closing the door as she disappears behind it.
‘Right you are then, fucker.’ I rip all the stickers off my chest and pull out the cannula. I’m fucking sick of these nurses. The machines go apeshit, and when she comes back in the room to deal with it, I smile condescendingly as I walk across the room to the bathroom.
‘I said no,’ she barks after me.
‘Fuck off,’ I grunt as I close the door. I’m not supposed to get the dressing wet, but it has tape all the way around, and it looks like it’s splash proof. If it’s not, well the good nurse will have to do some fucking work won’t she? I sit on the stool that’s in the shower area and let the water cascade over my head. An image of Willow straddling me, her eyes on mine as she bites her bottom lip, enters my head. I take my dick in my hand and stroke myself up and down, as Willow leans her head back, and her perfect tits welcome my mouth. I take the nipple and roll it between my teeth. She moans my name and throws her head back. Fuck… a few more strokes, and I’m shooting all over myself. As I come, my body spasms and the pain is almost unbearable, my chest feels like I was just shot again, but fuck me was it worth it.
‘YOU WANNA TELL me why I got a phone call at four this morning from one very pissed off nurse?’
I groan. ‘All I wanted was a fucking shower,’ I tell him, shaking my head.
‘So you didn’t tell her to go fuck herself?’
‘Not exactly, no.’
He laughs, shaking his head. You need to learn to behave yourself. I know it’s shit, but you need to be here, man.’
‘I know. It’s just getting on my last fucking nerve, that’s all.’
‘I feel ya. Listen it’s New Year’s Eve and—’
‘Don’t worry about it. You can all celebrate without me.’ I give him a rare smile.
‘That’s not what I was going to say. We all want to wait until you and Willow are home, then we’ll celebrate.’
‘Nah, it’s New Year, Jared. Do what you gotta do. I’m good.’
‘When you get home.’
‘Fine. What are you up to today?’
‘Here aren’t I?’
‘What. You’re staying all day? Where’s Devon?’
‘With your female.’
My interest peaks at that. ‘Yeah?’
He nods in answer. ‘We’re all trying to help get her memories back.’ He smiles sympathetically. ‘Whether it will help or not, I have no idea, but we gotta try, right?’
‘Thanks, ‘ppreciate it.’
‘In the meantime, need you back on your feet. What’s the latest?’
‘Well, when the lovely nurse replaced my dressing last night or this morning or whatever, it looked pretty much healed, but I have a way to go on the inside, I can tell. When I move around, it hurts like a bitch.’
‘Well, the bullet did lodge in a rib after ripping through your liver and muscle.’
‘Yeah, just pisses me off that I’m not fully mobile and have to call on the bitches from Eastwick whenever I need something.’
‘Well, maybe try being a little nicer?’ Jared smirks.
‘Honestly, I’m not even trying to be fucking horrible. They just aren’t fucking nice.’
‘Howard, it doesn’t take a lot for you to seem… umm… arseholey.’
‘Oh, just say it like it is.’
‘I’m being fucking honest, being nice isn’t your strong point.’
‘And apparently not yours today.’
‘Just try, okay?’
‘Mhmm.’
‘Right, I’m gonna head to see the girls. Brad’s with them so he’ll no doubt be along to you soon, okay?’ I nod, closing my eyes. Brad turns up a while later, and we bullshit for a while until the doctor comes in.
‘Time for a scan,’ he announces. ‘You’re healing just fine on the outside, so we need to take a look inside.’
‘Okay, what about all this stuff?’ I ask, gesturing to the machine and drip.
‘We will have it taken down with you to the CT room.’
Willow
When I wake up, it’s not Brody in the room, but the woman called Devon and the blonde one with the burns. I forget her name, but she’s here too.
‘I’m not sure if you’re allowed it, but I thought screw it, a girl needs coffee, right?’ Devon says handing over a huge paper cup from Costa Coffee. Realising I can’t grasp it, she places it on the table, which sits just in front of me across the bed. ‘Okay, that was a bad idea. I’m so sorry!’
‘Hey, we’re not giving up on the coffee. Let me go and find you a straw—you can suck that bitch down.’ We all laugh as the blonde girls exits the room, leaving me with Devon.
‘Hey, I know you don’t remember any of us yet, but we’re friends, all of us, and we’re all close—as a pack—and you’re a part of that, always will be, even if you never regain your memory.’
‘Thanks, it’s just strange for me, I guess, last thing I remember is… I’m not even sure, but I was home with my mom and Brody. I’m not even in the same country anymore. It’s just weird.’
‘Well, today is New Year’s Eve. I have faith that this coming year is going to be an epic one!’ she says patting her stomach. ‘And I have faith that even if you don’t regain your memory, you will find yourself again. We’re all here to help you with that.’
‘Thank you… can you…’ I sigh, ‘never mind.’
‘What is it? Just ask?’
‘Can you tell me about him?’
‘Oh… sure, what do you want to know?’
‘What he’s like?’
‘Well, I can tell you that the first time you met… well, actually, maybe that’s not a good place to start—’
‘Jesus Christ, I only wanted a fucking straw. You’d think I asked for the moon in a cup!’ The blonde one chimes in as she comes back in the room. ‘Had a full-on hissy because she had to go off to the kitchen. I told her with a patient who can’t manage a cup, she should have a whole bunch on tap. Stupid.’
‘Oh dear. I bet she wasn’t happy about that,’ Devon answers. I want her to continue and tell me whatever it was she was about to say but she doesn’t.
‘Maiya has a way of telling people off. She takes no shit.’
‘And neither do you.’ They laugh.
‘True. I guess all us females can handle our own. We have to when it comes to our men.’
‘What about your man?’ Jared asks smirking as he walks in too. He doesn’t knock because the door is open.
‘Oooh we were talking about you, not to you, handsome,’ Maiya chimes in smiling.
‘Hey, who’re you calling handsome?’ Brad and Jared say at the same time.
‘Where did you come from?’ Maiya asks laughing.
‘I was just outside, sweetheart. Now, I assume you were telling Willow here, how handsome your male is? If that’s not it, then I’m gonna have to smack that delectable arse of yours.’ He grins, wiggling his brows.
<
br /> ‘Oh, please, you two get a fucking room,’ Jared groans.
‘Come on, beautiful, time to go and see the big guy and spread some cheer.’
‘See you later, ladies.’ Maiya waves as Brad grabs a handful of her ass, making her squeal. These people are my friends. They all seem to like me and care about me. Since my dad died, I haven’t felt like a part of a pack. And now that I have the chance to, I don’t remember jack shit. It’s so frustrating.
‘So, how you doing?’ Jared asks.
I look away from him. ‘Oh, you know, same old shit, different day.’
‘I feel ya. So, no change? Still no memory?’
‘Nope, nothing.’ I sigh. ‘And it seems the more I try, the more frustrated I get. It’s driving me insane. How long have I been with your pack?’
‘Well, we came to Phoenix a while back, and you came back with us—both you and Brody.’
‘My mom didn’t leave with us?’
Devon clears her throat and starts to flick her gaze around the room. ‘No, your mom stayed. She didn’t want to leave.’
‘Okay… so what aren’t you telling me?’
He shrugs his shoulders. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m not an idiot. As soon as I mentioned my mom, you both looked uncomfortable.’
‘Listen, Brody will be here a bit later. You and he need to talk about that, okay?’
‘Ookaay,’ I tell him, feeling all kinds of suspicious.
‘I know what my mom is like, so if she did something to cause trouble, you can just say now. She’s been like that all my life. My dad always kept her in check, but when he died…’ I shrug my shoulders, letting them know that it was just par for the course.
‘Well, Howard was going to bring you back here, no matter what,’ Devon speaks up, and Jared gives her a look. ‘What? She’s going to remember at some point anyway’ He rolls his eyes, and Devon carries on. ‘When we got there we knew something was up. All the women and kids were locked away. It was weird. But when Brody took Brad and Howard to your house, your mother was beaten up badly. Howard assumed Brody had done it and well, they had a fall out because Howard won’t tolerate that stuff.’
Fated Love (Stone Pack book 3) Page 15