by Mary Monroe
Cara enjoyed sitting beside her mother, pressing shoulders with their hands almost touching as they leafed through the pages. They skimmed over photos of Cara learning how to swim in the surf, fishing with Palmer, performing in piano and school recitals, teary eyed but smiling as she boarded the bus to camp, and dressed up in all sorts of costumes for Christmas pageants, Halloween and Easter. Cara relived the happier moments of her childhood, years that anger had clouded.
“Look at this one,” Cara said chuckling. There was a proud Palmer, not much older than Cooper was now, chest puffed out and a tooth missing, with two meaty fists clutched to the wheel of the boat. “Like father like son.”
Lovie laughed too, leaning forward for a closer look. They flipped through several more pages, then moved on to other albums, slowly moving forward year by year. Cara recognized most of the photos but seeing them again brought smiles of recognition. She realized as the hour passed that her mother had done much more than chronicle her and Palmer’s childhood or the family’s history. She’d collected experiences and emotions for the family to remember and cherish forever.
“Who is this?” she asked, pointing to a photograph of a tall, striking man with white-blond hair that was tousled in the wind. He wore khaki shorts and had his sleeves rolled up. Most arresting was his wide, engaging smile. Lovie stood beside him in the photograph, straight and prim in a broad-rimmed straw hat. Beside her was an enormous loggerhead on the beach. “He’s very good-looking.”
There was a short silence as Lovie studied the photograph with uncertainty.
“I’m not sure,” she replied. “I believe he was someone who came to study the turtles.”
Unlike before, when Lovie had gone on and on relating a story associated with a picture, she remained silent and uneasy. Attuned to her mother’s nuances, Cara looked into her face. There was a slight flush to her cheeks and she inched her fingers to cover the photograph.
“He looks vaguely familiar,” Cara said.
“It was the turtle’s photograph I wanted to keep,” she said as she turned the page.
“Wait.” Cara tapped the page back with her forefinger. “I remember him now. He came by a lot one summer, then he went away. Emmi and I were sorry when he didn’t come back the next summer. He was a nice guy. He didn’t ignore us or push us aside like most adults.” She drummed her fingers on the album as her mind dug back. “What was his name? R-something. Robert? Randolph?”
“I believe his name was Russell something or other.” She cast a quick, assessing glance toward Cara, then firmly turned the page. “It was a very long time ago.”
“I suppose. But looking at all these photographs, it seems like yesterday, doesn’t it?”
Lovie closed the album and rested her hand over the leather. Her smile was bittersweet. “Yes, it certainly does.”
Julia arrived later that morning with Linnea and Cooper in tow. The children scrambled from the SUV and charged up the stairs, their flip-flops clapping against their heels and beach towels trailing.
“Grandmama Lovie! We’re going to the beach!” Cooper shouted as he ran into his grandmother’s arms.
“Yes, we are!” Lovie exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him.
Linnea came rushing up to hug her grandmother with exuberance.
“Settle down there,” Julia called out, following them at a slower pace. “You’re going to knock your poor grandmother over. Cooper, let go of her neck! Linnea, honey, go to the car and fetch those flowers you picked out special from Grandmama’s garden.” She reached the porch and shook her head, chuckling softly with a mother’s pride. “Hey, Mama Lovie,” she said breathlessly, coming close to deliver a kiss. Her hands were filled with a covered casserole dish. “Where do I put this?”
Cara stepped forward. “I’ll take that for you. How are you, Julia? You look like you’ve been out on the golf course.”
“Tennis,” she replied, following Cara into the kitchen. “But it’s these two hooligans who are running me ragged. They were fit to be tied all night waiting to come. I finally told Palmer flat out that I wasn’t going to force these children to make an appearance at all those parties today. We’ve done enough of that over the years. Today is Mama Lovie’s party. I tried to talk him into coming with us, but you know Palmer and business. He’s still making the rounds, but he’ll be by in a little while.”
“He’d better not eat at those parties,” said Cara, squelching her flare of disappointment. How could Palmer put business over his mother at this time? She knew full well that Palmer would not show up until much later. “We’ve been cooking for three days.”
“Mom,” Cooper screeched from the porch. “I want to go to the beach!”
“Then stop your caterwauling and go get your swimsuit!”
Cara thought they looked like a circus caravan as they walked single file along the sandy path to the beach. Lovie led the group like a petite drum majorette in her red sundress and broad-rimmed straw hat trailing red, white and blue ribbons. Cooper followed, an adorable clown in oversize plastic sunglasses and wreathed in an orange floater. Behind him, Linnea wrapped herself pareo style in a towel and had a Walkman at her ears, desperately trying to be grown-up. In contrast, Toy seemed like a little girl in her cheerful gait. This was the first time she’d gone to the ocean since she’d arrived on the Isle of Palms. Once she found out that Emmi’s sons had opted for surfing over an afternoon with the family, her nervous frown disappeared and she began to enjoy herself, agreeing to wear her new maternity swimsuit after all. Julia and Cara were the pack mules. They carried umbrellas, the cooler, extra towels, beach chairs and toys galore.
It was a classic family holiday at the beach, almost like being a child herself all over again. Linnea and Cooper vied with each other for her attention. Being children, they knew a captive audience when they spotted one. Aunt Cara, look at me! Aunt Cara, try this! Come here, Aunt Cara! The three of them swam in the ocean until their fingers and toes pruned. They built mighty sand castles on the shore and gathered shells. Julia took advantage of the free baby-sitter and sat under the umbrella with Toy and Lovie to read the novel that Cara had brought down.
After only an hour, however, Lovie had a coughing spell that interjected a dose of reality to the day. She waved away their concerns as she rose. “Forgive me, children, but I’ll be fine if I go back to the cottage to rest before dinner.”
“I’ll come with you.” Toy gripped the sides of her chair to rise.
“Don’t you dare get up. I can certainly walk back home by myself. I’ve done it enough times. Now just settle back and enjoy the sun. What will you do with yourself at the house while I lie down in the bed?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. Tell Cara where I am so she doesn’t start looking for me. Someone should be home anyway, lest Palmer arrive.”
Julia waved that suggestion away with her hand. “Don’t hold your breath, Mama Lovie. If he starts partying early, then who knows when he’ll get here?”
Alone in the cottage, Lovie relished her solitude. Although she loved having her family around, she needed quiet time more than ever now to keep up her strength. She prayed a good deal these days, too. Not for herself, but for her children. Before she left them, she wanted to see them happy and content.
She walked out to the new porch that Cara had pursued with such energy. Resting her hands on the freshly painted white railing, she looked at the row of rosebushes and all the newly planted palmetto trees. The transformation was remarkable. Looking out, she felt as though she’d stepped back in time. But she was more pleased with the change in her daughter this past month.
Cara had arrived home with an emptiness inside her. Lovie could see it in her eyes when she looked at the sunset. Her daughter was still searching for fulfillment, spreading her energy around in countless outside tasks rather than quietly focusing inward. But the turtles would help her find her way home, Lovie thought to herself with a small smile of satisfaction. Going to the oc
ean every morning, putting her hands in the sand, sitting by the nests at night—all these activities would steer her on the right path.
But Palmer…
She smoothed out the tablecloth and arranged a few flowers in the vase as she considered her son. She had come back to the house early hoping to catch a moment alone with him. He would not like what she had to tell him. She slumped down into her favorite rocker and looked out over the dunes and ocean, rocking back and forth. In the waning hours of the afternoon, she prayed for the strength to do what she had set her mind to.
Palmer found her on the porch. “Hey, Mama,” he called out in his boisterous voice.
She startled. She’d been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t heard him come in. Turning, her heart melted to see her son’s eyes light up at the sight of her. It had always been this way with him. She knew he’d walk through fire for her. It was just such a shame that his hot temper sometimes started those very fires. When he bent to kiss her cheek, she smelled the strong odor of bourbon on his breath. This didn’t portend well. Nothing flamed the fires like a dousing of alcohol.
“Will you look at this place?” he said, craning his neck to get a good view of the new porch and pergola. “I couldn’t believe it when I drove up. This porch looks just like I remember it. Cara and I used to play Monopoly in that corner over there for hours and hours.” His eyes glazed and she could see that he was remembering those halcyon days when the hours were strung out before them like pearls. “Y’all did an incredible job. I am all amazement. How did you get it done so fast? Julia can’t get someone in to fix a broken window.”
“We’ve all worked hard but the job was pure pleasure.”
“Whoever built this thing,” he said, putting his hand to the pergola and giving it a shake, “did a fine job. It’s built like a tank. It’ll take a hurricane to knock it down.” He gave her a wink.
“Do you remember Brett Beauchamps? The credit goes to him.”
Palmer’s eyes lit up. “Hell, that ol’ rascal? I haven’t seen him in ages. He built this? Well, I can’t believe it. I remember him tearing things down. Talk about divine justice. What’s he up to these days when he’s not building porches?”
“He’s dating your sister, for starters.”
“Come again?”
“Brett and Cara are seeing each other.” She wagged her brows. “Sparks are flying.”
“They say opposites attract, but I don’t know about that. How long has this been going on?”
“Only a few weeks but I have my hopes. He’s quite a catch.”
He shook his head. “It’ll never happen. She’s a die-hard spinster. Besides, there isn’t a woman alive who can catch that big ol’ fish. Let me tell you, they’ve been angling since high school.”
Lovie bristled at hearing Cara called a spinster. It was something Stratton would have said. “We’ll see,” was all she replied.
Palmer’s gaze traveled beyond the porch to the grounds. He put his hands on his wide hips and a slow smile stretched across his face. “Yessir, this place looks all spiffed up. You’ve done a nice paint job, new shutters and landscaping to boot. Looks to me like you’re fixing to sell it, Mama.”
She saw the excitement in his eyes and hurried to tamp it down. “No, dear, that’s not it at all. Quite the contrary. We did it strictly for us.”
The light in his eyes quickly doused. Pursing his lips, he sat slowly down in a wooden rocking chair, gripping the armrests and rocking back and forth a few times with his eyes fixed on her. The silence was as heavy as the humidity.
“I thought we talked about this, Mama,” he said at length with a weary voice that sounded patronizing to her ears.
“So we have.” Lovie rose from her chair to move her rocker from the other side of the porch. Palmer sprang to his feet to carry it for her and place it right across from his. Once they both settled down again, they rocked a moment in silence, each knowing the other was merely biding time.
It was Lovie who spoke first. “I think, Palmer, since we’re alone, it’s time for you and me to talk about this issue one last time.”
“If you want,” he said in a drawl. “I don’t know what more there is to say. I know you want to keep it, but like I said, the numbers just don’t add up.”
“It’s interesting that you should put it in just those terms,” she said in a calm voice. “Robert Davis used the exact words.”
He stopped rocking. “What’s Bobby Lee got to do with this?”
“I went to see him in his office. After you and I talked a few weeks ago, I wanted to get a clearer picture of my financial situation. Bobby’s a very nice man, so polite. He took a world of time to explain things so I’d understand them. And I do. It wasn’t so confusing after all. Except, perhaps, for the part about how the numbers didn’t add up. I may not be as good with arithmetic as you are, Palmer, but I do know when two plus two doesn’t equal four. It appears there have been many more withdrawals from my account than I ever received.”
Palmer’s face paled. “You don’t think I’m stealing from you, do you? It’s a juggling act. Sometimes I rob Peter to pay Paul, but it all comes out even again in the end.”
Lovie gave Palmer a stern look. “Paul hasn’t paid back Peter in a very long time.”
“I can tell you where every penny went. You’ll get every cent back, I swear. You don’t understand business, Mama. How can I explain it to you?”
“Bobby Lee managed to explain it to me well enough. Why don’t you try?”
Palmer’s words were strained when he spoke again. “A transport business is a complicated animal. And, lately, it’s been tough going. If I don’t have the money in my accounts to pay off a debt when it’s due, I get the money wherever I can. It was only temporary, of course.”
“Of course. So, basically, I gave you an interest-free loan?”
He offered a humorless smile. “I guess you could say that. I thought we were all in this together. Guess I thought wrong. Do you want me to write you a check right now? ‘Cause I will. This very minute.”
“No, Palmer, that won’t be necessary. In fact, I don’t want a penny of that money back. I don’t even want to know where it all went. I give it to you, free and clear.”
He sat back in the rocker, puzzlement etched on his florid cheeks.
“I can manage fine without it,” she continued evenly. Then she cleared her throat. “However, I instructed Bobby Lee to transfer the rest of my funds into a new account which I will tend to myself.”
“You what? Mama, you can’t do that. You haven’t written a check in forty years.”
“I can and I have. Cara can help me. She has quite a good head for figures.” She paused to choose her words. “I don’t mean to contradict your own figures, Palmer, but Bobby Lee assured me that I do not have to move out of my beach house. I have more than enough money to stay here for as long as I need to.” Her lips moved into a forced cheery smile. “Isn’t that good news?”
Palmer’s face mottled. “You’re saying you don’t trust me?”
Lovie sighed. That was the truth of it, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. It would hurt him too deeply and she loved him too much. “Let’s just say I’d rather trust myself.”
“That sounds like Cara’s doing. It is, isn’t it?” he said with a scowl. “She found out how much this place is worth and wormed her way in at the eleventh hour. I’ll just bet she talked you into all this sprucing up, too. On your dime. All this time I worried it was that Toy Sooner we had to watch out for, but it was Cara setting you up against me.”
“She was doing no such thing,” Lovie said with a scold in her tone. “No one is against anyone. You’re the only one making accusations.”
“So you’re saying she isn’t behind you taking over your own finances?”
“She recommended it,” Lovie replied honestly, then, seeing the spark of indignation in his eye, she sprang to Cara’s defense. “That kind of independence comes naturally to her. You fai
l to recognize that she has been successful in a man’s world. I don’t know why you find that so threatening. But to be honest, she didn’t pursue that suggestion. She didn’t have to. Over the past few weeks she’s shown me the courage to confront my fears. I’ve always found confrontations difficult, as you well know. I’ve been so willing to be taken care of by the men in my life. It was just the way things were done in my generation, I suppose. So don’t go casting blame. If anything, you brought this on yourself.”
“How did I do that? By advising you to sell? By asking you to move back in with me so I could take care of you? Was that so horrible?”
“Yes. Frankly, it was. I’ve told you again and again that I don’t want to live in town any longer. I’m happy here in my little beach house. I need peace and solitude now and it suits me. But you only want me to do what you think I should do, what’s easiest for you, without a thought to what I might need. Or want. Cara did all this—” she waved her hand to indicate the porch and grounds “—with her own dime, as you put it, and without a single thought for herself. She did it simply to make me happy.”
“I’m just sure she didn’t have any ulterior motives,” he said sarcastically.
Lovie drew herself up. “That’s enough, Palmer. Primrose Cottage is mine. I’ve given up everything else that’s ever mattered to me. More than I can ever tell you. This little cottage is all I have left of the only time in my life I knew true happiness. I clung to it when your father tried to wrest it away from me. He knew I loved it—and why. And it made him quite cruel. But that only made me all the more determined that he should never succeed. I gave him my house, my money, and I see now, my self-respect. But I never gave him my heart or my memories—or this beach house. And now you want me to simply give this place up to you? Now, at the end of such a long struggle? Palmer, do you think I would sit back and let you do this? Child, you forget, I’ve wrestled with a much bigger fish.”
Palmer appeared dumbfounded. When he spoke, his eyes were wild and searching. “I don’t know what’s going on here. I’ve never heard you talk like this before! You’ve never spoken a word against Daddy. Why did he want to take everything away from you? You were his wife, for pity’s sake. You were married for forty years.”