by Merel Pierce
Nikolai was seated next to her bed, and the weary looking alpha had begun purring the moment she woke unsettled. She stared openly for several moments, studying the dark circles under his eyes. The stubble on his jaw and the dried blood on his clothing made it clear. He hadn’t left her side since he retrieved her from the warehouse.
Their eyes met as the male leaned forward, and December felt herself unconsciously shying away from his closeness. When it became apparent he was retrieving something from the floor, her gaze flickered uncertainly towards where his hand was gathering a pillow from beside his chair. Her retreat stopped.
She watched suspiciously as the male deposited the pillow behind her without getting up, grateful his long ranging reach didn’t require him to hover over her to do so. Once he’d finished, she sat back slowly, eyes still trained on the alpha.
For a few moments, neither of them spoke. To her it seemed as though each of them were hesitant to speak, as if they both suspected they might say something wrong. In the end, he was the first to break the silence.
“How are you feeling, December?”
She snorted, redirecting her attention to the rumpled blankets in her lap. “Like hammered shit,” she muttered bitterly. It was true. Her head was pounding, and her entire body seemed to ache and burn with each movement she made. The alpha sighed, reaching forward once more to retrieve the remote attached to the hospital bed. She watched as he pressed the call button for the nurse, then returning the remote to its former resting place.
“Is the pain great?”
She shot an annoyed look his direction. “Yes.” She shifted uncomfortably, as if to illustrate her point. Before he had an opportunity to respond, there was a knock on the door, followed by a young nurse pushing it wide as she came into the room. The woman’s eyes lit on December first, and she smiled sweetly.
“Good morning! What can I do for you, hon?”
“Ms. Vale is experiencing some discomfort. Please page her doctor and inform her that she is awake and needs her pain management assessed.” Nikolai interjected evenly. The woman’s gaze swiveled towards the hulking alpha in the chair, a flicker of uncertainty washing through her expression.
“Um. Yes, ok. I’ll do that right now.”
“Thank you.”
With a fleeting, almost worried glance towards December, the woman retreated. Once the door had shut, December rolled her eyes. “Must be nice, being able to scare people into compliance so easily.”
“It has its advantages.”
She frowned, picking at a hangnail as she tried to avoid looking at the alpha by her side who was still purring a soothing cadence at her. “I suppose you want to talk about what happened.” She said softly, more a statement than a question.
“We will discuss it after the doctor has come.”
December grunted. They passed the next ten minutes in silence with only the sounds of the alpha’s purr and the beeping of the machines to fill the air between them. In truth, the male’s presence and scent were just as comforting as the rumble he emitted. That in and of itself made her angry.
It was fake. He was only here because he wanted something from her. She felt foolish and weak for finding solace in the company of a man who had been using her, and who was the cause of her current misery. The fact that she needed him to protect her right now only made her feel bitter. Despite the continued rumble of the alpha beside her, December’s mood grew dark.
By the time that second knock of the morning came, her headache was worse and her demeanor had soured significantly. She shot an unpleasant look at the older woman entering the room, a stark white coat clearly identifying her as the doctor they’d been waiting on.
“It’s about time,” she grumbled petulantly. The beta woman’s smile faltered just a fraction as she split a glance between December and the nearby alpha.
“Yes, I’m sorry about the delay.” The woman offered, her tone placating and gentle as she came forward and retrieved the chart from the foot of December’s bed. “Hello December, I am Dr. Reynolds. I understand that you are experiencing some discomfort this morning?”
“Uh, yeah. You could say that.”
The alpha cleared his throat meaningfully, a subtle warning about her tone which December vehemently ignored. She shot him a hateful look, folding her arms protectively over her chest when he sought to catch her eye. “Would you like me to step outside while you discuss treatment, or would you prefer I stay?”
“Outside.”
Nikolai stood, straightening the sleeves of his suit jacket and buttoning the closures before dismissing himself to the hall without further discussion. She stared after him, shocked that he’d so readily obeyed. He’d even shut the door to give them privacy. That being said, she could still see him through the open blinds on the window at the front of her room. He wasn’t venturing far.
Once the alpha had gone and his purr no longer filled the room, December’s frown deepened, unhappy that she’d immediately begun to feel worse in his absence. This, the doctor seemed to notice.
“You’ve been through a very traumatic experience.” She murmured thoughtfully as she came around to stand at the bedside. “It’s normal to feel a bit out of sorts.” A muscle under December’s eye twitched in annoyance at the woman’s assumption, but she tried not to let it show. “On a scale of one to ten, what would you say your pain is?”
“Eight.”
“We can definitely do something about that.” The older woman said kindly as she clicked her pen and began jotting down notes on the chart. As December watched the motion of her hand, she found herself irrationally aggravated by the sound of the pen scrabbling across the paper. She focused doggedly on the pen’s movements, grinding her teeth in frustration. “Now, why don’t I go over a summary of where we are at with your treatment since I’m already here?”
December’s heart stuttered and then sped up again, panic flooding her ears with the frantic thrumming of her pulse as she suddenly remembered why she’d fought so hard to escape. She put a hand to her temples, rubbing gingerly as she pinched her eyes closed.
“Is the baby ok?”
The woman paused just a few seconds too long for comfort, and she opened her eyes to glare up at her. The doctor looked surprised, and conflicted. December made an urgent gesture with both hands.
“So far as I can tell. Yes. You’ll have to forgive me December, I just, I didn’t think you’d know about the baby yet.”
“What do you mean so far as you can tell?” She asked impatiently.
“Well, the baby is only a week or two along. It wouldn’t show up on an ultrasound.” The doctor explained cautiously. “Your lab values are fairly normal for early pregnancy, save the abnormalities I expected to see due to what you’ve been through…”
She relaxed against her pillow just a fraction, though when she caught sight of the pacing alpha outside she grew nervous again. She shot a wary glance towards the doctor, “Does he know?”
The older woman frowned, and December was unnerved by the fact that she couldn’t read the shift in the woman’s expression. “Do you want him to know?”
“No. Absolutely not.” She shook her head adamantly.
“That shouldn’t be a problem. Mr. Petrovski has committed to paying for your care. Any services relating to the pregnancy can be… disguised, so to speak. As we’re on the subject, since you are obviously aware of the pregnancy, what would you like to do?”
“What do you mean?”
The beta doctor sat down, obviously trying to make herself more approachable as she smiled sympathetically at a patient who didn’t appreciate the gesture at all. “Well, you’ve been through quite an ordeal. No one would fault you if you chose not to carry the pregnancy to term. In situations like these it is often very difficult for the mother to recover from her trauma if she is carrying her rapist’s child. Of course, adoption is always an option as well.”
“I’m not aborting it, and I’m not giving it away, either.”
December snarled defensively, surprised by the aggressive determination she heard in her own voice. “I’m keeping it.”
“Well, if you’re sure.” The doctor offered, her disapproval obvious despite the attempt to mask it. “But if you change your mind, there will still be plenty of time.” The woman cleared her throat then, glancing back down at the papers in her hand. “We’ve repaired your gunshot wound. Nothing vital was damaged, and while it will be painful it should heal with no complications. We’ve done what we could to address the vaginal trauma you experienced,” she said delicately. “The sutures are dissolvable, and while I imagine the better part of the damage should be well on its way to healing within ten to fourteen days, I wouldn’t recommend any sexual activity for a month or more at least.”
“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” December snorted.
“I imagine not. Your only other serious injuries were the bite wounds on your shoulder and chest. They were cleaned and debrided last night, and we did what we could to begin the healing process, but the bite wounds will require plastic surgery in the near future.”
“Peachy.”
“You’ll be with us for at least a few days,” the woman continued. “If you’d like I can arrange for a therapist to speak to you while you’re here.” Again, December shook her head.
“I don’t need a shrink.”
The doctor sat forward, one hand coming to rest atop December’s knee as she implored her to meet her gaze. “December,” the woman began carefully, her tone soft. “You’ve been through a harrowing ordeal. PTSD, anxiety, and depression are all very common in situations like this. I would strongly recommend at least having an assessment done. Even if you hadn’t experienced the mistreatment you did, you’ve been unwillingly bonded by two males. That in and of itself often causes trauma and depression.”
“One of them is already dead,” she muttered darkly. “I killed him last night. So, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. I doubt the other one will be long for this world either.” she said, inadvertently glancing towards the alpha lingering just outside.
The doctors gaze followed the path her own had taken, and the woman’s hand tightened over her knee as the implication settled in. “All the more reason to speak with someone. December, omegas who suffer severed pair bonds, even forced ones, can experience a wide range of negative responses to the loss of connection,” the beta said with concern. “Inappetence, severe depression, anger disorders, disassociation. In more severe cases, their depression can become so overwhelming that they cease to function and must be committed to hospice care. It’s very serious, and if one of those bonds has been severed already, it’s even more urgent that you speak with someone.”
“Oh.”
December deflated, anxiety returning to steal away the bluster she’d been trying to build with her failed attempt to show the doctor that she wasn’t a victim. She never knew that omegas could be affected so severely by the severing of a pair bond, and the idea of her rapists being able to continue making her suffer even after they were gone was more frightening than she cared to admit.
She didn’t expect the tears that welled then, and she made an unhappy noise as she tried to clear her throat and blink them away. “Did he tell you I thought I was a beta until a few weeks ago?” She asked softly, sniffling as she tried to keep herself from crying.
“No,” the woman said warily. “He hasn’t told us much at all to be honest.”
“Probably because he doesn’t know anything about me,” she scoffed. December took a ragged breath, worrying her hands as she sent a sidelong glance at the older female. “I guess I had an implant, not that I knew. But it was making me sick.” The doctor sat back slowly, a look of understanding darkening her face.
“And he had it removed.” December nodded, her lip quivering as she glanced towards the alpha just outside. He was leaning against the nurse’s station, arms folded over his chest and eyes directed towards the floor. He may not have been looking at her, but she knew he was alert and aware despite the relaxed position. “Oh, December I’m so sorry,” the woman whispered in hushed horror. “Was this all a ruse? Is he the one who did this to you?” She asked with a sense of urgency, leaning forward again and keeping her voice low.
“What? No!” December shook her head in frustration, feeling stupid for opening her mouth in the first place. She haphazardly wiped a few tears from the corner of her eye, avoiding Nikolai’s gaze when she felt its weight fall upon her. She tucked her chin and stared down at her hands, hoping it would make it more difficult for him to read her lips. After the assumption the doctor had just made, she felt a strange obligation to clear up the confusion. Why, she couldn’t have said.
“He wanted to breed me, but he didn’t kidnap me. He wanted an heir. We sort of made a deal. But it wasn’t the same, he wasn’t like them.” She choked on another sob, covering her eyes as shame and embarrassment rose like bile in her throat. “He even helped me build my first nest. It was different with him. He made me feel. He just. I… Oh Jesus, listen to me? What the hell is wrong with me?!? Everything is so screwed. What am I going to do?” She sobbed openly, her arms lowering to hug her aching ribs as she started to cry mournfully, unable to stop the tears or the heart-wrenching sounds that were tumbling out.
“December, honey. You’re ok, but you’ve got to keep it together. If he sees…”
The woman’s words were interrupted by the sound of the opening door bouncing back against the wall stopper. December split a blurry-eyed glance between the doctor and the bristling alpha now standing in the doorway. She didn’t have to hear the rest of the woman’s caution. She could practically taste the reason she’d tried to warn her. The male was radiating thinly veiled aggression.
“Have you gotten the information you need to adjust her medications?” The male rumbled lowly, a muscle in his jaw clenching as he eyed the two females. The doctor got warily to her feet, moving cautiously as she replaced the medical chart and edged towards the door when the alpha stalked inward.
“For now. But we have more to discuss.”
“Later.” December winced at the threat in the alpha’s growl as he asserted dominance over the room with little more than that single, grumbled word. Her shoulders hunched as he neared her bedside, and instinct had her freezing in place with her eyes downcast, too afraid to look up while he was speaking with such deadly intent. “Perhaps when she has eaten and gotten some rest.”
“Yes, Mr. Petrovski. Of course.”
December glanced up from beneath the heavy fringe of wet lashes as the other woman moved to leave. The beta was unable to ignore the alpha’s dismissal, her own body language reflecting her wariness of the angry male. While she couldn’t blame the doctor for wanting to get away from him, she felt bitter and disheartened that the woman was so quick to abandon her.
“Doctor?”
The woman froze in the doorway, a slow shift of her frame bringing her back to face him. “Yes?”
“If it becomes a trend for my omega to cry when I leave her in your care, you may find yourself out of a job, with no further need of the bedside manners you are so obviously lacking.” The alpha glowered at the smaller female, unfazed by how the doctor's face morphed with disbelief and anger in the wake of his words. “Perhaps you’d be good enough to send someone in with her medication and breakfast.” Nikolai turned his attention towards December then, and she shrank under the heat of his gaze.
It was only when the doctor had finally gone and the door slammed shut in her wake that the man gifted her with the sweet rumble of his purr. The sound instantly went to work on her frazzled nerves as he stepped closer and lifted a hand towards her. She winced, and the alpha hesitated. “I’m sorry if I frightened you, December.” He murmured softly, his voice dropping several octaves as the anger in his tone was replaced by coaxing warmth. She was trembling but managed to be still when he gently wiped the tears from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “It is difficult to se
e you in such a state.”
“She didn’t do anything wrong.” She whispered sadly, “I just- I feel so-”
“I know, sweet one.” Very slowly, the male reached out again and drew the stiffening omega against his chest where his arms closed around her in comfort. Fear and confusion bubbled up to make a poisonous cocktail of her misery, and she shoved at the unmoving mass of male as she began to cry again.
“No! You don’t know! You can’t possibly know! Stop touching me. Please, just stop!” She begged pitifully.
“December, it’s all right,” he cooed obstinately as he pressed her head to his chest where she would feel the rumbling of his purr and the beat of his heart beneath her ear. Her pathetic struggles accomplished nothing. She may as well have been hitting a brick wall. “You are safe now, sweet one.” He murmured as he stroked her hair and continued to hold tight until she’d worn herself out.
It didn’t take long. She surrendered herself to the lie of his embrace, sobbing against him weakly as he continued to purr and coo. “You have been so strong, so brave…” He praised, his words hinting at pride she was certain he didn’t feel. “But I am here now, little wolf, and I will be your strength. Lean on me, allow me to care for you so that you may heal. It’s all that matters now.” December croaked disbelief even as her heart squeezed tight around the promise he was making, some weak and vulnerable part of herself desperately wishing it were true.
Chapter 20
Nikolai continued to hold her until well after she’d stopped crying, still purring and petting gently. For a while, December allowed it. But the alpha’s attempts to comfort her were more successful than her damaged sensibilities could stand, and though it was difficult, she eventually pushed herself away from his chest. He didn’t stop her this time, instead simply smoothing the hair back from her face as he stared down at her from the bedside. December cleared her throat softly and angled her head away from him. “I’m fine.”