by Merel Pierce
He nuzzled lightly at her, drawing in her scent as he pressed a phantom kiss against the shell of her ear. “Darling girl, you will get through this,” he whispered intimately. “You must, sweet one. So that I may mend my broken promise and show you what it truly means to be an alpha’s mate.”
He propped his elbows on the bed beside her, continuing to stroke her hair as his free hand wove their fingers together. When her fingers tightened and curled so that she held his hand to her chest, he smiled sadly. It was likely when she woke the girl would want nothing to do with him. For now though, he’d give what comfort he could and take advantage of the opportunity to be near her before she rallied.
“I hope your generous heart will find the strength to forgive me for all that has happened. You have chosen me, little one, and I have chosen you. Your decision may have been rash, but you must know that mine was not. I did not come to it lightly, and I am determined to see you well and make you mine. Whatever the cost,” he promised fervently. “That is my oath to you, little wolf.”
The irony that he wouldn’t have been able to bring himself to say those things to her if she were awake didn’t escape him. For all his strength and confidence, he felt like a coward. Nonetheless, he would honor his promise to her. The fact that she knew nothing about it made little difference.
***
December inhaled deeply, her senses tingling pleasantly at the familiar scent filling her sinuses. His scent was so familiar now, it was almost like being wrapped in the warmth of a favorite blanket. But it shouldn’t be. He was singlehandedly to blame for her misery. She was a fool to let herself take comfort in his presence. She’d grown careless, and he took advantage of her trust. Trust she never should have given him in the first place. December frowned and opened her eyes.
The room was dark, but the small amount of light filtering in from beneath the curtains suggested it was early morning. As he had been each time she woke the past few days, the alpha was seated in his chair. Only this time, he wasn’t laid back and relaxed. He had fallen asleep leaning forward against the mattress.
His head was resting against her thigh, undoubtedly a decision he’d made to keep from upsetting the hold she had on his hand. Their fingers were woven together, clutched close to her heart. Her eyes flickered towards their joined hands, and she was overwhelmed by the feelings of sadness and confusion that accompanied the way her heart swelled at the sight.
The male inhaled more deeply than before, forcing December’s eyes up nervously. He was awake. His gaze was half-lidded and weary, but he focused intently on her. She was quiet, chewing her lip as she stared back at him in silence. He didn’t move or speak. He wasn’t purring either, and she had a fleeting and irrational fear that he was angry with her. The longer they watched one another, she realized the male was studying her cautiously. Considering what happened the night before, she thought it likely he was concerned about startling her or giving her a reason to lash out. Both were valid concerns, considering what he’d done. Thankfully for him, she didn’t have it in her to fight or scream.
December took a shaky breath, clutching his hand more tightly as she tried to find the strength to tell him the first thought she’d had on waking to find him at her side.
“You know,” she began softly, whispering as if afraid someone else might here. “When they had me. Sometimes on the worst nights, I would fall asleep. I was exhausted, cold, and hurting. But sometimes, I would dream about you.” She cleared her throat, trying to banish the bitter knot that was tightening there. “I would dream that you were purring for me, and for a while, I didn’t feel so alone, and things weren’t so bad.” She frowned, sniffing unhappily as she looked away from him.
“But then I’d wake up and realize what an idiot I was for wishing you were holding me or hoping you would come. You were just using me, like them. The only difference was, they didn’t play house to make me feel better about it.”
She didn’t need to look up to know that his jaw had tightened, she could feel the subtle shift in his body language where his weight lay against her. Despite her hurt and mounting anger, December couldn’t bear to let go of his hand.
After a few moments of tense silence, the alpha sighed. “I did purr for you,” he confessed, “Nearly every time I was alone, often for so long that I grew hoarse.” Strangely, the male looked almost embarrassed by the admission. Even though there had been no fluctuation in their bond to suggest he was lying, she found herself feeling doubtful.
“Why would you do that?
He sighed, shifting subtly against the pillow of her thigh. “On occasion, I thought I could feel the ghost of your presence in my mind.” When her brow knit with disbelief, he shrugged. “Your mark may have been weaker than an alpha, sweet one, but it was no less effective in tying us together,” he reminded her gently. “When I purred, the discomfort I felt lessened. I thought it was worthwhile to continue if there was even the slightest chance that it might ease your pain or comfort you until you were found.
“I searched for you, not only because I wished to find the men who attacked my facility and my home, but because you were my responsibility. I had no intention of abandoning you to them.
“I understand why you might doubt it, but if you ask the hospital staff, I have no doubt they could produce some one of the flyers that were sent out or show you the bulletin that ran on the local news stations. I cannot tell you how many people were interrogated or how many homes and businesses we ransacked in our search for you.”
Her frown deepened. Confusion and uncertainty tainted the anger roiling in her chest, bubbling up and trying to drown her hope like a dingy on the waves of a punishing sea. “I… I wanted you to come,” she stuttered guiltily, ashamed and angry with herself for feeling it, let alone admitting it. Her breath quickening as the tears she’d been trying to hold back finally spilled over and began rolling freely down her cheeks.
“I know, December,” he smiled as he lifted his free hand to gently cup against her cheek. He wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb, purring soft encouragement at her. She sobbed as the male’s fingers tightened against her own, a reassurance that matched the warm silk of his bond slithering through her chest and squeezing at her heart.
She wanted nothing more in that moment than for him to hold her, and, in fact, was in the process of releasing his hand and sitting up to reach for him when a knock on the door startled her. She drew her hands against her chest guiltily, biting back another sob when male grew rigid and snarled as they turned their collective attention to the opening door.
Chapter 23
The male didn’t have a chance to protest. December beat him to it.
“You know, it would be really nice if people in this place would wait for me to acknowledge the fact that they knocked before they just go ahead and barge in.” She snapped, suddenly and inexplicably angry. She glared across the room at the doctor, who had paused in the partially open doorway at the sound of the agitated female’s voice. Nikolai sat up slowly, his hand taking up residence where he had been resting against her thigh moments before. December made an impatient noise and pushed him away.
“I’m sorry to interrupt December, but I told Mr. Petrovski my colleague would be by this morning to see you,” the doctor said cautiously, offering an unconvincing smile as her attention shifted towards the alpha seated at the bedside. “Unfortunately, he’s on a bit of a tight schedule, so we had to stop in earlier than I expected.” December huffed and wiped the lingering tears from her eyes, frowning as she shot Nikolai a disapproving glare.
“Why are you bringing someone else here?”
The alpha ignored her as he got to his feet, his attention focused on the doctor as she pushed the door open further to reveal the man waiting outside.
The omega tilted her head back, sniffing the air suspiciously. The stranger was an older, dignified looking gentleman. Another beta, from the smell of him. He was reed thin and tall, with a thick head full of well-kept gr
ey hair and a matching close-cropped beard.
The man smiled gently at December before averting his gaze when Nikolai rumbled a subtle warning. She slid another annoyed look towards the alpha, idly considering that his bristled state might have something to do with her own agitation. She quickly deciding she didn’t care. “He is here to assess what complications may have arisen from the severing of your pair bonds.” Nikolai volunteered evenly, a watchful eye still lingering on the medical professionals in the doorway.
“And the unwanted addition of yours.” December spat petulantly. “Don’t forget about that.”
“December,” the alpha warned. “Please.”
“I apologize if we’ve interrupted something.” The older man interjected gently, breaking the tension of the room with the surprisingly inoffensive and pleasant sound of his voice. “Ms. Vale, Mr. Petrovski, I am Dr. Luellen. I specialize in pair bond psychology,” he explained. He paused then, giving his attention to the alpha whose presence commanded the room. “May I come in and speak to your omega, Mr. Petrovski?”
“Don’t ask him, ask me! I’m not his anything!” December demanded shrilly as she punched her fists against the mattress, infuriated by the older man’s deference to the alpha hovering over her bed.
“Enough!” Nikolai demanded on a growl, his own narrowed-eyed gaze shifting towards her as a surge of irritation left the air around them thick with the scent of his displeasure. “You may come in, Dr. Luellen,” he responded curtly. “It would seem we are in need of your expertise, after all.”
The older man moved inward at the invitation, pausing near the foot of her bed. “I am sorry Ms. Vale, I understand that this situation must be very frustrating for you. I certainly meant no disrespect.” The man offered warmly, the nature of his smile one of well-practiced empathy. December folded her arms over her chest, grunting unhappily as the beta once more gave his attention to the alpha at her side.
“The assessment shouldn’t take long,” he advised pleasantly. “Dr. Reynolds has volunteered to stay while December and I talk, as I thought you may both feel more comfortable with the idea of a chaperone for the interview?”
“Your consideration is appreciated.” Nikolai complimented. “Yes, we would prefer she stay while you ask your questions.” He turned towards the agitated omega then, his expression stern. “Please cooperate, December. It is in your best interests to do so.” Despite his phrasing, it was obviously a command. “I will be just outside.” She frowned sourly, dismissing the alpha with a disrespectful wave of her hand.
“Yeah, yeah.”
The male seethed in silence, obviously displeased by the change in her behavior as he abandoned the room and slammed the door behind him. December watched him go, struggling to ignore the nervous thrumming of her pulse that suggested she would have rather he stayed. Her doctor quickly moved to turn on the lights and close the blinds on the hall, smiling knowingly at December as she did so.
“Now then, Ms. Vale,” the psychologist said kindly. “I do apologize for having addressed Mr. Petrovski instead of yourself. I am certain the transition from handling your affairs independently to allowing another to do so must be very difficult. But I suspect we both know how poorly alphas respond when they aren’t made to feel as if they are in control of any given situation, whether it is true or not.” He winked, the corners of his eyes crinkling in an almost mischievous way that she couldn’t quite say she minded. “My only goal in placating his ego was to make this process go as smoothly as possible for you. I hope you can forgive the insult.”
“It’s fine.” She muttered half-heartedly, “Can we get this over with already?”
“Certainly.” The older man withdrew a small notebook and pen from his pocket, retrieving another chair from the wall nearby and positioning it at the foot of the bed. While it seemed curious to her that he wouldn’t sit in the chair already near her, she was glad he hadn’t. For some reason the idea of anyone else sitting in the seat the alpha had been inhabiting seemed wrong.
Her doctor remained near the door, hands clasped loosely in front of her as she watched the pair with interest. The moment the psychologist seemed to have situated himself, December focused her attention solely on him.
“There are two ways we may proceed.” The man said idly as he jotted something down in his notebook. “If you are comfortable doing so, you may give me an abridged version of your history up to this point,” he glanced up briefly.
“I would ask you to highlight points you feel are important or have relevance on our current situation. When you are finished, I will have several inquiries to make, which will help me complete this assessment.” He sat down his pen and crossed his legs loosely, folding his hands over the notebook in his lap. “If you prefer, I can use a standardized method of questioning to obtain the information I require.” December wrinkled her nose.
“That sounds tedious.”
The man chuckled. “Some find it to be so.”
“How about we try the first thing, then.”
“As you wish, Ms. Vale.”
***
Forty-five minutes later, Nikolai was still waiting in the hallway, standing by like an agitated gargoyle near the entrance to the girl’s room. Much to the staff’s relief, he’d finally stopped pacing. In the beginning he had been unable to keep still and had taken to prowling the length of the hallway outside the omega’s room. He’d gone back and forth more times than he could count, his energy so dangerous and caustic that people had begun rerouting to the hall on the other side of the ward just to avoid coming near him.
When the door finally opened and the psychologist emerged, he stiffened, standing up straight and folding his arms over his chest. “Well?” he barked impatiently.
The older beta smiled understanding as he approached, pausing a respectable distance away. “I’ll speak plainly Mr. Petrovski, as I can see you are worried for your female. While December has been through a very traumatic series of events, I see no great cause for concern.” Nikolai’s jaw twitched unpleasantly when he found the statement lacking, and the man rushed to elaborate. “I find her responses to be quite normal, given the circumstances. She will require therapy, but I do not believe we have need to be concerned that her mental faculties have been compromised by the pair bond severance. She is lucid and surprisingly composed.”
“She doesn’t seem that composed.” Nikolai countered doubtfully. “She seems quite irrational in fact, and her mood swings are rather dramatic.”
“You must understand, your female is not accustomed to dealing with this level of stimulation or emotional vulnerability,” the doctor explained patiently. “The implant you removed not only changes the omega’s body chemistry but alters the chemical workings of their brain as well. Before her implant was removed, experiencing strong emotions was something she had a relative amount of control over.
“Now that her implant is gone and her body continues to change, the hormone fluctuations make it much more difficult to maintain that level of detachment or objectivity when one isn’t accustomed to the ebb and flow they create. When coupled with the events that have transpired, it’s certainly understandable for her to be overwhelmed. It will take time for her to grow accustomed to what will be her ‘new normal’.
“You don’t believe she will suffer any long-term effects from the pair bonds being severed?” Nikolai asked.
“No. Your omega is exceptionally bright, with very good instincts and a keen sense of awareness about the world around her. She has not been compromised. I understand what happened last night was concerning, but I believe she likely experienced a similar reaction after the severing of the first bond as well. The difference being, we weren’t there to see it when it happened.”
“That aside, she was in so much pain and under so much stress because of the incident that the symptoms may have been dismissed as part of her trauma. But that discomfort had already lessened some by the time the second bond was broken, from what I understand. I do not
think either will leave a lasting impression on her. The residual discomfort will fade, likely within a few weeks. In truth, it will take her much longer to get past her victimization than it will the severances.”
Nikolai’s shoulders loosened, some of the tension he’d been holding slipping away as a modicum of relief trickled in. “I believe claiming her was a wise choice, Mr. Petrovski.” The man added thoughtfully. “The girl’s reaction to you right now is heavily influenced by what she thinks she should be feeling, but I believe biology has already begun its work on her.”
“Meaning what, exactly?”
“While she is obviously wary of your motivations, her body language and manner of speaking when you are the subject of her focus indicate that she has already formed an attachment to you.”
“Something other than the bond that ties us?”
“Yes. Given her history, it’s not difficult to understand. Having rarely been the recipient of genuine affection or appreciation from a worthy male, her true dynamic makes her eager for the sort of attention and approval you offered her in the brief period you were together. Now, you remain at her side, comforting and tending to her needs. Even though she is angry and hurt, she grows more dependent as we speak and is obviously comforted by your presence. An unconscious reaction, but a legitimate one nevertheless.”
Nikolai was silent as he considered what the man had said. It was difficult not to feel jealous, realizing that the psychologist had learned more about his female in the past hour than he did in their time together before she was taken, but it was unavoidable. “How is it they were able to inflict such harm on her, without suffering any ill effects themselves? I feel her discomfort keenly already, I cannot fathom how affected I would be if I allowed her to be abused the way her captors did.”
The doctor made a noise of interest. “Well, in situations where the female is bonded, and the alpha has no real interest in taking her as a mate, there is a certain level of detachment that can be experienced on the alpha’s part. The female is in a much more vulnerable position, of course. She isn’t often afforded the same luxury.” The beta made an offhanded gesture, “In this situation, however, I believe at least one of the two men was mentally unstable. It’s very likely he enjoyed experiencing her pain through their link… A form of sadism, if you will.”