by Merel Pierce
“We have a long road ahead of us, it seems,” he murmured uneasily. “Perhaps we should start with something simple, like lunch.”
Chapter 25
The first day had been especially uncomfortable. Her outburst had fouled the male’s mood, and he spent the better part of it in broody silence. Their bond made it clear enough. He wasn’t pleased. Despite her declaration about not being frightened, she found herself walking on eggshells to avoid agitating him further.
Over the course of the afternoon, it became obvious he hadn’t been prepared for her to come home so soon. Numerous items arrived intermittently, brought in by beta staff under the watchful eye of her male. Clothing, toiletries, medical supplies, lunch, prescriptions from the pharmacy, and finally a pile of comforters and pillows that made a nervous knot grow in December’s stomach as she watched them be deposited near the bed.
When she’d stared so long at the pile of fluff that her concern became obvious, she felt the silken ribbon inside her chest stroke briefly against her nerves, like a cat rubbing its owners’ leg. “I am told that when omegas have been through a trauma, nest building sometimes provides a sense of relief or comfort.” He explained from his resting place in the corner of the room where he sat reading over something on his laptop. He glanced up only briefly when she looked his way. “It isn’t necessary to build it on the bed; you may nest wherever you like.” It was as if he’d known how her thoughts twisted anxiously at the thought of bedding down with him. December was mildly embarrassed she was so easy to read.
It was only after they’d had dinner and the male retired to the bathroom to shower that she began to consider what he’d said with any weight. Soon, he would insist that she take her medications and go to bed. But the idea of trying to sleep next to the massive alpha made December’s heart gallop with panic. Instead, she unfolded herself from her perch in the window seat and approached the pile of nesting materials.
At first, she’d considered building in the closet to be near the panic room. But the idea of being in a small enclosed space made her sick to her stomach and she quickly abandoned the idea. In the end, she chose to make her nest in the window seat where she’d spent most of her day. The fact that there was only room for her was a strategic choice.
He’d left the bathroom door open while he bathed, clearly not trusting her to be left to her own devices. When the water shut off, she scrambled to bury herself in the bedding she’d just finished arranging before he had a chance to emerge and stop her progress. She hoped that he’d be less likely to protest her choice if she were already bedded down. With only her eyes left exposed, December watched as the male stepped out of the shower, lashes fluttering anxiously at his unabashed nudity. She swallowed hard against the knot that formed in her throat at the sight of his exposed flesh, clutching the blankets a little tighter.
Every inch the alpha, his body may as well have been carved from marble. A heavily muscled form was a testament to the man’s strength, the meat between his thighs promising virility she knew all too well that it possessed even in its currently soft and unassuming state. Where previously she had been able to admire the striking beauty of the male, now the sight inspired fear. She licked her lips nervously, pinching her thighs together more tightly beneath the blankets despite the discomfort it inspired.
He seemed unaware that he was being watched as he dried his hair and patted himself off with a towel. December thanked the gods for showing her mercy when the man finally wrapped the terry cloth around his waist so that he might finish his nightly routine. Not long after, he shut off the light and padded back into the bedroom.
A floor lamp in the corner was still on, casting a soft glow over the entirety of the room. He glanced her way briefly as he ventured towards the dresser, and December could have sworn she felt a pang of what felt suspiciously like sadness vibrate through their link at the sight of her chosen nesting place. For a brief moment, she felt guilty.
But as she watched the male pull on lounge pants and shrug into a light robe, she steeled herself against the feeling. She had no reason to feel bad. Though he himself may never have done her harm, it was his fault that others had. Not only that, he’d bound her to him without consulting her. He’d essentially made her a prisoner. If anyone should feel guilty, it was him. He deserved to sleep alone.
To her surprise, he made no comment about it. He simply retrieved her medications from the table and brought her a glass of water with which to take them. Warily, she propped herself up on one elbow and extended a hand from the blankets to accept the pills. The sight of an unfamiliar oval in the mix gave her pause.
“What’s this yellow one? I don’t recognize it.”
“Something to help you sleep. The doctor suggested it might make the transition easier.”
She briefly considered refusing it, a flutter of panic causing her to worry that he might do something to her while she was sleeping. But logic intervened, reminding her that she was at his mercy either way. She tossed them in her mouth all at once, reaching out once more for the glass of water. When she finished, she gave the glass back.
“Good night, little wolf.”
She frowned as he retreated. While she’d hoped he wouldn’t protest her refusal to sleep with him, she hadn’t expected to feel disappointment mingling with her relief when he didn’t. The male made his way across the room in silence, turning off the lamp and leaving her with only the faint glow of moonlight to trace his path back to the chair in the corner. He lowered himself down with a sigh, and moments later the screen of his laptop highlighted the severe frown her alpha wore. He was right, she realized. The road ahead was destined to be a long one.
***
True to his word, there was no more talk of therapy for the better part of a week. It might have been a relief, if he hadn’t neglected to mention that he would be practically glued to her side in the meantime. Morning, noon, and night, the alpha was her constant companion.
It was infuriating. The only time she had a modicum of privacy was when she was in the bathroom, but he’d ruined that by disabling the lock. Even on the occasion that the male took a call in his office, the door remained open, and he checked on her often if the conversation ran long.
More often than not, he purred. She supposed the gesture was meant to make up for the fact that he didn’t bother attempting much conversation. Considering how little they had to talk about, she thought it a practical choice. His purring hardly ever ended in an argument. Their interactions when he tried to engage her often did.
The only reprieve from the overbearing male was in her nest where she could pull the covers over her head and pretend he wasn’t there. She rearranged her pillows so that a small gap between them allowed her to look out the window even when she was hiding, and she spent hours staring longingly into the distance and daydreaming futilely of freedom. Generally, he left her in peace unless the time required her to eat or take medication.
After the first two days, her pacing and intermittent looks of agitation when she came out of her nest made it clear she was feeling restless. She needed something to do besides think about being a prisoner whose injuries caused daily discomfort and reminded her of what she’d endured. When he cautiously asked how she’d like him to rectify the issue, she asked for a television. Instead, he’d taken her outside for a walk.
Initially, she’d protested the venture on principle alone. It was cold outside, and she didn’t want to exercise. She wanted to watch TV. But the male insisted, barking impatiently at her when she refused to get dressed. In the end, she’d pulled a coat on over her pajama pants and night shirt just to shut him up, growling her agitation when he’d tugged a knit cap down over her head and wound a scarf around her neck.
She’d snapped and bickered childishly with him as they descended, and by the time they reached the gardens, the male had gone quiet. She clutched her arms tightly against her chest as she stomped after him on stiff legs that weren’t built to keep up with an alpha�
�s stride and were especially unprepared to do so after so little use the past few weeks. While she was annoyed at first, the second lap around the house had her slowing her pace to observe their surroundings. The alpha matched her pace, ambling lazily as she took in lungful after lungful of fresh, crisp air and enjoyed the sounds of birds singing in the trees around them. Outside wasn’t so bad, she decided. She begrudgingly forced herself to admit this when he prompted her on returning to the room.
When she rolled out of her nest bleary-eyed and disheveled the following morning, she found a rectangular box alongside her morning coffee on the table next to the seated male. She tottered over to him, ignoring the subtle smirk he wore as she plopped herself into the empty chair and pulled the box into her lap. She made clumsy work of opening it one handed while she sipped her coffee, eventually managing to pull a convertible tablet with keyboard free of the packaging.
December sat her cup aside, considering the gadget thoughtfully. She’d never had much in the way of electronics, save for a cheap phone or an old television. It was hard to afford much in the way of luxuries on her salary. In truth, the thing probably cost more than all her possessions together. She sent a befuddled glance his way, wondering at his motivations. She’d only asked for a TV, but he’d given her something better. Not only could she watch television and movies on a streaming service, she could also surf the internet or read books. In the past, those two tasks had been reserved exclusively for the library or local cafés.
Though he seemed engrossed in his computer, she knew the alpha was waiting for her to acknowledge his gift. It felt awkward thanking him for anything, really. But he did appear to be trying, so she decided showing gratitude was the appropriate thing to do. When she thanked him, the silken ties that bound them together unfurled with pleasure against her heart, echoing warmth and approval even though her praise was acknowledged only passively by the man before her. Knowing how pleased he felt by her reluctant acceptance of his gift, December found her mood strangely improved.
After breakfast, she spent the rest of her morning hidden away in the nest, using her new toy to stealthily investigate pair bond research studies. She looked for whatever information she could find relating to the quality of life of those alphas and omegas who were either separated from their bonded mate or suffered a severance. Dozens of articles and studies later, she was left feeling thoroughly disheartened at the prospect of making a life away from her alpha.
The odds weren’t in her favor. In fact, according to most everything she’d read, an omega’s chances of surviving apart from their bonded partner were less than 8%. Quality of life was extremely poor for those who did, most of whom suffered physically and psychologically from the absence of their still-living mate.
Disgusted and depressed by what she’d learned, she gave way to mindlessly binge-watching random television shows while she brooded. She passed the better part of the following days in the same manner, hidden away in the nest watching television to numb her restless mind. The only exceptions were meal times, when the male dragged her outside for their now daily walks, or when she showered.
There was no fighting between them during that time. December spoke very little, feeling far too depressed to muster the effort it took to resist or argue with him. Of course, the male was so busy with running the day-to-day of his business and tracking down the rest of the men who’d organized the attack on his reign that, at first, he seemed grateful she wasn’t fussing with him at every turn.
She could feel his concern growing, though. He may not have spoken openly of his displeasure with her current state of mind, but she could feel the echo of his worries in her chest. In addition to his purring, it seemed he’d taken to actively attempting to soothe her through use of their bond. Even when she slept, she could feel the silk of his influence. He metaphorically stroked and lulled her saddened mind much in the way the male had petted and hummed to her the first nights they’d spent together.
When she was particularly miserable, and the male was so distracted by his work that he neglected to comfort her, she sometimes caught herself reaching for him unconsciously through the threads that bound them. She pleaded and tugged at his link so shamefully for attention that she often found herself crying when she realized what she’d done. She could muster little more than half-hearted protests when he came to her then, shoving at him or giving him her back as she cried.
Many times, the male at her side had purred sweetly, gently insisting she shouldn’t be so hard on herself. That it was natural for her to reach for her mate when she needed comfort. Even when she couldn’t bear for him to touch her, or his frustration had worn his patience thin, he remained her silent guardian until the tears had dried or she’d fallen asleep.
The Monday following their arrival marked the third day that had ended in a similar fashion, with her crying and bitter while the male tried to comfort her. Tuesday morning, he cautiously announced that her first session with the therapist was set for 1PM that afternoon. The panic and anger that had been absent that past few days rapidly returned to consume her, launching them into a heated argument that lasted well through breakfast and into the lunch hour. In the end, the male was so furious that he’d declared she was going, and wisely chose to leave the room before he did something he’d regret.
Though no ground had been gained and she was exhausted by their fighting, in the end she strangely felt she’d won when he retreated. In truth, December didn’t understand why she’d fought him in the first place. She’d known he’d make her see the therapist and screaming accomplished nothing except to agitate the man who had been trying so hard to be patient with her. Ultimately, her twisted feelings of victory faded, and she grimly realized that he was right. She needed help, and neither herself nor the male were equipped to fix what was wrong with her now.
Chapter 26
She didn’t like the therapist. She’d very dispassionately told him so as she was climbing back into her nest after the woman left. While frustrated by her lack of willingness to engage, Nikolai couldn’t exactly blame her. He hadn’t liked the woman either. She was “too fake’, as his omega had so astutely observed. Expecting her to open up seemed unlikely given the first impression she’d formed of the woman. It looked as though they’d be needing a new therapist.
The following day, they’d taken a trip to the hospital for her first recheck. While she’d been in with the doctor removing her sutures, Nikolai spoke with the psychologist who had originally assessed her. After some discussion and a subtle bit of bribery, the man agreed to take on December’s therapy. He left feeling satisfied with the positive report the doctors had given on the progress of her healing, and a solid plan in place to see to his omega’s fragile mental health.
Those first few weeks together were the most difficult. Her moods continued to swing wildly, and she was uncooperative in almost every facet of her new life. Nikolai spent most hours of the day in a state of agitation, his attention split between an unruly female, his business, and the added work of hunting down the men responsible for the current state of things with his omega.
As they reached the one-month mark, the male was finally granted a bit of relief. The effects of the bond severances started to wane, and his female began to level out. She was still quiet and distant, and the few times other alphas had been invited into the home for necessary meetings, he’d returned to find her locked away in the panic room. It had taken considerable patience and coaxing to convince her to open the door, and she was always shaken for the remainder of the day when she did. Yet under the guidance of Dr. Luellen, Nikolai tried not to force her or take any more choices away from the girl than were necessary. If hiding made her feel safer, it didn’t hurt at this stage.
His ego struggled with the fact that the female intrinsically seemed not to feel he could protect her, but as Dr. Luellen so indelicately reminded him, he’d already proven to her once that he could not. It would take time to earn the omega’s trust. With the man’s
guidance, he finally began making progress with the still wary woman.
In his way, he’d begun courting her. Each morning she had fresh flowers waiting on the dresser when she woke. On the occasion that she seemed to be having a particularly good day, he took her out to lunch or dinner away from the estate.
Though he had little interest in what she watched on her tablet when she hid away in her nest, he inquired anyway when she emerged for meals or their daily walk. He listened intently when she embarrassedly described what she had been engrossed in. The more attention he paid, the less hesitant her conversation became as she described the movie or program that currently held her focus.
He brought her treats and occasionally gifts. She always enjoyed things she could eat the most, more so than the few pieces of fine jewelry or expensive clothing he’d brought her. He learned very quickly that his female was one of simple tastes. He found it a strangely endearing quality.
At the doctor’s suggestion, Nikolai tried to leave the scarred marks the omega had left on his throat visible when in her company. It was also suggested that he create situations wherein the girl might see him naked or in a partial state of undress, without making it obvious that he sought to draw her attention.
Despite her trauma, the female admitted in her sessions with the psychologist that she was unable to look away when she saw him in such a state. While recent events made her fearful, her newly awakened omega’s instincts could not be ignored. She was drawn to him still, and often watched him openly when she felt he did not know. Allowing her to observe him in such a way made it possible for her to grow accustomed to the sight as part of day-to-day life, without the threat of pending intimacy.