by Merel Pierce
She hadn’t missed the trembling of his muscles, or the way his brow knit with the effort of restraining himself. As he had done in all aspects of life since her return, the alpha had controlled his baser urges for the benefit of his damaged mate. It was such a novel concept, an alpha controlling his behavior for the sake of another. She couldn’t help feeling a little special.
No man had ever given her the kind of considerations or allowances he had in any facet of her life. Of course, she knew he felt it was his responsibility to see her healed for his part in her pain. But it was more than that, and she could see it clearly now. He truly seemed to adore her. The feelings that vibrated through their bond were honest and clean. Crisp like the fresh air outside. Looking back, she could see the evidence of his budding infatuation even in those first few days they’d spent together. When or how it had happened, she wasn’t sure. But there was no denying it now. Her alpha seemed to care for her.
Or at least, that seemed the most logical explanation for what he appeared to feel. Having never been the recipient of such an emotion, she couldn’t be certain. The notion was difficult to rationalize, being who he was. Alphas like him weren’t known for their respectful treatment of women. They weren’t known for their kindness or patience, quite the opposite in fact. Most were entitled, selfish, aggressive, and cruel. But somewhere along the way, it felt as though he’d stopped looking at her like an object. She mattered to him.
But how did she feel? She wasn’t sure. She’d been so determined at first to hate him for what he’d allowed to happen, and what he’d done afterwards. But every day she’d spent with him since had weakened her resolve. She believed him when he said it wouldn’t always be like this -- that she wouldn’t be a prisoner, locked away with no freedom. She believed him when he said he would try his hardest to make her life a happy one.
Did she love him? December didn’t know. She longed to be near him now. She enjoyed the sound of his voice, and his subtle sense of humor. She admired his self-control but adored the passionate nature that lay hidden beneath the coolness of his day-to-day facade. Last night when they’d come together as he moved inside her, she’d cried. A panting and befuddled male had tried to kiss away her tears, soothing and reassuring even before his own orgasm had fully abated. She was embarrassed, but it couldn’t be helped. She’d missed him, and the bitter sweetness of their joining had given her the first relief she’d felt in weeks. She couldn’t explain it. Being with him felt right.
But he didn’t know about the baby. How would he react if she told him, now? Would he even believe her? Would he think it was a ploy? Would he be furious that she kept it from him, aware as he was that she’d wanted so badly to escape those first few weeks, even knowing she carried his child? She wasn’t sure. She knew she’d have to tell him eventually, but their relationship was so fragile and new that she was reluctant to risk damaging it.
“Whatever is worrying you, little wolf, let it go,” he urged softly, drawing her with him as he sat up. Her brow furrowed when he pushed the hair back from her face, but the male merely took her hand in his before easing off the bed and pulling her to her feet. With her free hand, she tugged down the hem of her nightie self-consciously. “Come, let us wash it away. Shall we?” He encouraged.
Her alpha gifted her with one of those rare, dazzling smiles of his then, determined to convince her. Unwilling to spoil his mood, she returned the gesture with a reluctant one of her own, nodding her consent as she allowed him to lead her towards the bathroom.
He released her as they approached the shower, leaning into the partially-open stall to turn on the water. December took advantage of his nudity, watching in silence as he tested the temperature. Her eyes traced over the muscles of his back, the tuck of his waist, the pert roundness of his ass, and the thickly muscled thighs and calves beneath. He really was a beautiful creature, her alpha. Self-depreciative thoughts about her own scarred body crept in as she stared.
When he turned to offer her his hand, she hesitated. Even last night, he hadn’t seen her completely naked. Now under the brightness of artificial lighting, she was even more hesitant to allow it. The male sighed as he returned to where she stood, one finger coming to rest beneath her chin as he forced her eyes up to meet his. “Our scars tell the story of our strength, little wolf,” he murmured evenly. “Warriors of all cultures bear them with pride. They are considered badges of honor. You’ve no reason to feel ashamed.” Her expression soured.
“It’s different for men,” was her unhappy reply. “I’m not a warrior. Women are supposed to be soft and delicate, not mangled and scarred like an old alley cat.” The male’s expression sobered.
“I will never see you with the same eyes as you do, sweet one. Your scars only remind me of your fierceness and strength, and that is a headier aphrodisiac than any drug.” She rolled her eyes, prompting him to snort.
“You are infuriatingly willful and mouthy,” he declared. “But you are also the bravest, wildest, most beautiful woman I have ever known.” When she frowned up at him doubtfully, the male closed the distance between them and wove his fingers into the hair against the base of her neck. He tilted her head backwards, fingers tightening just enough to cause a tingle in her scalp and assure her attention.
“I knew from the very beginning that you were a fighter. A survivor, like me.” He admitted. “It was part of what drew me to you.” His expression softened as he stared down at her, that familiar look of adoration warming his features. “I lied to you, before. Even prior to your kidnapping, I never intended to let you go. I fully planned to claim you as my own.”
Her frown deepened. “You said you kept me because I saved you, and you thought I’d chosen you first.” He sheepishly smiled, an almost boyish look of guilt forming.
“And so it was. But I never intended for that to be the case. I’d meant to claim you before your heat was over, when I felt assured that you were as enamored with me as I’d already become with you.” He tugged on the handful of hair, and though the pressure was minimal she couldn’t help but wince. “You are MINE, and I am infinitely proud of the woman who has become my mate. I love you, sweet girl, and I would not have you any other way.”
Dumbfounded, she was mildly aware of the fact that her mouth had fallen open in disbelief as she stared up at him. He’d actually said it. He loved her.
“You… You love me?” Her own voice sounded meek and painfully insecure as it echoed in her own ears, and she could feel her cheeks heating with embarrassment. The male’s expression grew triumphant, her shock seeming to please him.
“I love you.”
“Are you sick, or crazy, or something?” She asked incredulously. “I think you might have lost your marbles, running around saying crap like that.”
A predatory look stole over him, and the black of his pupils was already beginning to expand.
He moved so quickly that she didn’t have a chance to protest before the nightie was jerked up over her head and abandoned on the floor. She yelped in surprise when the alpha bent forward and drew her up against his chest, holding her tight to the wall of muscle as he lifted her off her feet and turned towards the shower. December’s arms came around his neck, holding tight to the mountain of a man.
“See? Mouthy.” He accused again, his tone weighted with the gravel of his growing need. December squirmed, awash in a strange flood of emotions. Uncertain of how to respond, she goaded him.
“Jerk.”
As they stepped into the steamy spray of heat, he kicked the door closed behind him and pressed her back to the shower wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist, muscles quivering as she watched the shift in his expression. She could see the very moment he let that inner beast he’d been holding back for so many weeks off its chain, and the whimper of excitement that knowledge inspired slipped free before she could stop it.
Next thing she knew the back of her head was bumping the wall when his lips crashed down on her own, his kiss dominating and rough
as he claimed her mouth. When a guttural growl erupted from the bristling male moments later, December surrendered to the oblivion of the sensation willingly as bubbling slick mingled with the water washing over their bodies. Mindless and floating on a sea of sensation, she whined needily when the alpha’s mouth sealed over his brand at her throat.
The pinch of his teeth sent an explosion of unexpected heat skittering through her veins, temporarily incapacitating her and leaving her defenseless against his unannounced penetration. December could do little more than moan and shudder when he dropped her weight so that his cock buried itself in her sheath to the hilt on that first upward thrust of his hips. Pelvis to pelvis on the first pulse, it was his turn to quake and groan.
Her fingers scrawled over his shoulders, nails leaving red tracks in their wake and biting into the meat of his muscles when she panted “Don’t stop!” and tried desperately to buck her hips despite how he had her pinned to the wall. The male growled again, and she whined piteously and melted against him when he started to fuck her, using her own weight to further the barely controlled aggression of his thrusts.
There was no gentle, patient man here now. There was only an alpha, finally claiming his mate. Pain and pleasure wove a complex web around them as he pounded into her as if breeding his female were his only purpose in life, and she could do little else but urge him on as cry after pleasure-filled cry was dragged from her lungs with each punishing thrust of his cock.
Soon enough the familiar bite and sting of bloating flesh began to burn at her entrance, and the male was fighting for enough control over himself not to force her down on it as instinct demanded.
She clamored to grab his face, clutching his cheeks between her hands as she forced his head up to face her. “Don’t stop, I want it,” she demanded breathlessly, pressing her forehead to his own, oblivious to the water still pattering down on their soaked bodies from above.
He slowed minutely, wholly black eyes searching her own for some confirmation of her words. “You’re certain?”
She nodded fervently, tucking her head against his shoulder as the male rumbled his delight. It took no more provocation than that. Using his chest to keep her pressed to the wall, he reached beneath her with both hands, fingers prying at the underside of her thighs as he tried to spread her and make the entrance of his growing knot less painful. He gave a sharp upward thrust, successfully rooting the bulbous and expanding base of his cock as deeply as it would go in her pulsing pussy.
December cried out, the white-hot pain of his invasion in her recently healed body momentarily overwhelming everything else. She held her breath, grinding her teeth at the interruption. The male stilled as well, muscles trembling as he tried to remain motionless long enough for her discomfort to subside. Finally, it receded to a dull ache, and she felt the steel band on her lungs loosen. She let out a shaky breath, nodding against his shoulder to signify her readiness for him to continue.
One hand still supporting her, he worked the other between their bodies, using his fingers to stimulate that tiny nub as he gave a few more short thrusts of his hips. His keen knowledge of her body rapidly drew her back to the edge of the precipice, biology tilting her response in his favor as pleasure once again became the ruling sensation.
Soon enough she was panting through the rising swell of an orgasm, and when her brain short-circuited and she screamed out hoarsely against him, the male was drawn with her over the cliff. Together they came, his knot binding them together in a physical manifestation of the unseen bond that would tie them together for life.
As they came down, shaking and breathless in each other’s arms, December whispered softly, “I think I love you too.”
Chapter 32
Things between them were clearly changed by what transpired in the bathroom. The male was doting and openly affectionate where he had previously been somewhat reserved in his approach. December shyly welcomed his attention, feeling awkward and a little self-conscious in the wake of their mutual confessions. While it wasn’t the first time a man had ever proclaimed to have feelings for her, he was the first she believed. She herself had never spoken those words to another person and found doing so to be both exhilarating and terrifying.
She dressed when he’d gone for breakfast, finishing her morning routine and even going so far as to dab a little gloss on her lips and apply a coat of mascara for the first time in days. She had tons of cosmetics and clothes, thanks to his numerous misguided attempts to improve her mood. Until now, she hadn’t had much interest in them.
December cursed when she realized how silly it seemed, primping for a man who had already seen her at her worst. But as she smoothed her hair and took in the sight of her reflection, she couldn’t help feeling a little better about herself. The lavender colored sweater dress she’d chosen somehow managed to be sexy and comfortable at the same time, the snug fit accentuating her curves while still managing to hide the better part of her scars.
She was sitting in the window seat when he returned, swinging her feet and biting her nails impatiently. Having hardly seen her out of pajamas, the male’s pleasure at finding she had willingly dressed in his absence was obvious in both his expression, and the purr he blessed her with as he lowered their breakfast tray onto the bed. He turned to face her, a smirk quirking one corner of his mouth as he beckoned her nearer with the curling of a finger.
December slipped off her perch, taking pains to exaggerate the natural sway of her hips as she padded towards the watching male. Little tremors of appreciation mingled with the licking heat of desire reverberating through their bond as she drew near, raising goosebumps along her skin. One large hand closed gently over her shoulder, drawing her closer as the alpha bent to tuck his nose beneath her ear. He hummed his pleasure, scenting her in a way he hadn’t allowed himself the luxury of doing for weeks. “You look especially lovely today sweet one.
December rolled up on her tiptoes, her own hands circling his neck as she arched into the male’s chest and buried her face in the hollow of his throat. It was her turn to sniff, though she took it a step further and allowed a darting tongue to taste his skin. “You’re only saying that because you got laid.” she teased. The rumbling of his purr deepened, the male’s arms folding around her smaller body as he chuffed his amusement in her hair.
“Learn to take a compliment, dear heart.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She craned to look over his bicep towards the tray nearby, licking her lips eagerly. “What did you bring me for breakfast?”
***
Nikolai had insisted upon feeding her during their meal. Understanding now that the act was one of intimacy for him, she willingly submitted despite the inherent awkwardness of being fed like a child. Her tolerance was rewarded with reverent kisses and rumbling purrs.
By the time they finished eating, the male had already ignored numerous texts and calls, and it was an hour and a half past the time he normally left her to begin his work. He was reluctant to go, apologizing and murmuring licentious promises in her ear and kissing her breathless before evacuating the bed. He pledged to return with lunch in a few short hours, grinning broadly when she blew him an exaggerated kiss and ushered him out of the room.
She flopped backwards on the bed, sighing as she retrieved a leftover piece of apple from one of the plates nearby. She munched the fruit in silence, staring at the ceiling above and basking happily in the smell of the bedding around her. Their lovemaking had left its mark, tainting the air with the unmistakable scent of sex. It wasn’t hard to understand why leaving the room had been difficult for him. She hardly wanted to leave the bed herself. She gathered a fistful of sheets and dragged it to her nose, inhaling deeply as she thought about the man whose essence stained the fabric.
So many things had changed in the past twelve hours, she hardly knew what to make of it. Not only had she taken great strides towards overcoming fear of sexual contact with her alpha, but their relationship seemed to be evolving at a rapid pace. The invisibl
e weight she’d been carrying for the past few months was lessening, and something that felt strangely like joy had begun to blossom in her chest where anger and sadness had previously been the only occupants. The airy feelings of happiness were eating away at the darkness, loftily promising a better tomorrow if she just gave in and allowed it to develop naturally. It was such a foreign feeling, it was difficult not to be suspicious.
She took another deep breath, savoring the way her senses tingled in response to his scent on the fabric. “My alpha,” she muttered softly to herself. A small, secret smile formed as she rolled onto her belly and forced herself out of bed, giving the rumpled sheets one last look of longing before she abandoned it to get ready for her day.
While some things had changed, others had not. The men would come as they always did, filling the house with testosterone and the omega with a sense of unease. Anticipating such, December retrieved her fob and tablet before retreating to the panic room per the normal routine.
She took up residence in the chair with her legs over one arm and her tablet propped up on the keyboard deck. For a while she kept a mindful eye on her mate, watching the goings on next door through the tiny monitor screen. But there was no excitement today. No hostile body language, no agitated hand gestures, just a cluster of men deep in thought discussing papers strewn out on the desk before them. It didn’t take long for her to lose interest.
When she grew bored, she started a movie she’d seen a hundred times before, too distracted to commit the whole of her attention to something new. As the movie progressed, her thoughts and eyes still occasionally drifted towards the image of the alpha seated behind the desk on the other side of the wall only feet from where she sat. Her alpha. The alpha who had chosen her even knowing how damaged she was by her trauma, and now weeks later claimed to love her. She bit her lip as she recalled how it felt to hear him say those three little words, and the flush of pleasure that resulted made her cheeks heat girlishly.