"Yeah. I guess that would sound scary," she says above a whisper, "but I used to ride Cloud up here all the time. I know these trails like I know my own house. It's just..."
"It's just pitch black here in the winter, and you can't tell your ass from your eyeballs out here," her father finishes, making no sense but causing us to laugh despite that.
"Yeah. That," Rose deadpans.
***
We're back at her house, walking up the stairs, when she asks her father, "Are they all in there?"
"Your sisters or your friends?"
"My...my friends?"
"Only Holly. The others left when they found out...that you ran out."
"Didn't she get my text?"
Her father shrugs. "She didn't mention no text."
Rose bows her head and stops before we go inside. "So everybody knows I had a hissy fit."
"No, bud. Everybody knows you're struggling. That's all."
"But Patti...did she, like, tell them..."
"No. I wouldn't let her bring that up again."
Rose nods and looks at me. "I'll tell ya later."
Her father leads the way in.
In the kitchen, standing around the island where Rose made me the ham sandwich, Holly, Rose's mother, and Rose's three sisters are chopping things.
"Hey." Holly's the first to run over. "You mind I'm here?" she asks before squeezing the shit out of Rose.
"No, I'm glad you're here. You didn't get my text before though?"
"No. I didn't. What did..."
"It doesn't matter," Rose says, practically into Holly's shoulder.
When Holly lets Rose breathe again, the sister who answered the door the first time I was here says, "I'm sorry, Rose. I shouldn't have said that."
Rose shrugs. "It's fine."
Holly tilts her head at this, then she looks at me.
I shrug, having no idea what she's trying to relay.
The sister I haven't met is rolling her eyes and pursing her lips.
I can't even fathom what was said before Rose took off in her father's truck.
Holly tugs my sleeve. "Let's give them some privacy."
Running my hand on the back of Rose's arm, I tell her I'll be in the other room.
"You were right," Holly says when we're in the front living room. "We aren't dealing with the old Rose."
"How can you tell already?" I whisper.
Barely above a whisper herself, Holly says, "When her sister apologized, the old Rose would have said, 'It's okay, but...,' and proceeded to tell her exactly why she didn't like whatever it was her sister had said. This Rose just shrugged it off."
"But is that bad?"
"I don't know. To me it is. It's a sign that her self-esteem, wait...you told me this a few weeks ago."
"Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I wish I knew her before, just to see."
"Maybe it's better that you didn’t. Maybe Rose likes it that way."
I'm contemplating that when she asks, "So why are you here, anyway? Did Rose invite you? What's been going on?"
"No, she didn't invite me. I haven't even talked with her since that night you dropped me off."
"Are you kidding me? Then what are you doing here now?"
"Out of the blue, she just...called me. Crying." I move to the farthest side of the room and sit on the loveseat I sat on last time. Holly takes the rocker. "She barely said hello before she started crying."
"Really?"
"Then...I don't know. I shouldn't talk about it behind her back. Not like she won't tell you herself. Not that she even told me anything."
"Wait. You're rambling. Why are you here?"
"Her phone died right after she told me she was alone in the woods with no place to turn her truck around."
"Oh." Holly's mouth turns into a cocky grin. "Man, you got it bad. You come running up because her phone died?"
I roll my eyes at my insanity. "I thought she may have been in trouble or something."
"Hey." Rose walks in.
I stand.
"You okay?" Holly asks.
"Yeah. Just feel like an ass," Rose says. "Ben, I'm really sorry you had to come all the way up here."
"I didn't mind at all." Sticking my hands in my pockets, because I'm just so nervous all of a sudden, I repeat what Holly asked. "You sure you're okay? What happened?"
"Something stupid. Do you want something to drink, Ben? Coffee, tea, cider, anything?"
"I'm good, Rose." I sit down, patting the space next to me. "Sit down."
"I feel bad that Mick and them left," Rose says to Holly.
"No. We came 'cause your mom asked. Mick actually felt funny coming anyway. And Griff and them, they only wanted to help."
"Why did my mother even ask? That was stupid."
"She's worried about you, Rose. She said all you do is farm work." Holly hesitates. I think she's waiting to see Rose's reaction.
Rose just darts her eyes to me every now and then. We don't know each other well. I'm thinking I shouldn't be here.
"Rose," Holly says. "Come back to school. Live with me at Griffin's. We'll have so much fun."
"And get to be lifelong friends," Rose adds, and Holly and she laugh at something I'm not getting.
Holly winks at me and says, "It's a line from the movie Grease."
"Ah. Never saw it."
"We used to watch it in the dorm," Rose adds with a chuckle. Then she looks at me. "I'm sorry I called you like that. It wasn't fair."
"I really didn't mind. But...do you mind if I ask what prompted it?"
"I can leave," Holly suggests.
"No. It's...it was nothing like that." Rose leans back against the couch. "My sister laced into me for not being grateful I'm alive...and for moping around and acting like I'm dead anyway." She looks embarrassed admitting this.
"Oh, Rose." I take her hand and squeeze it.
"I reacted sorely. I just should have shrugged it off."
"Do you think your sister is right?" Holly asks.
"Maybe. Yes."
Rose's eyes dart to mine again.
I'm still holding her hand when I say, "Really, Rose, I can leave if you want to talk to Holly alone."
"No. I don't. I want you to stay. My mom's setting up a bed for you in the back room."
"Oh, I don't need to stay."
"Please." Her eyes bore into mine and I can't help but comply. "I feel bad you had to come up; I'd hate to see you drive back down so late. Besides, it's Thanksgiving. My mom makes a ton of food."
"I'll stay."
"Yeah. He can drive me home tomorrow night," Holly adds.
"Sure," I tell her.
"Why don't we..."
"Rose." She's interrupted by her mother. "Why don't you all come in the kitchen? I put some coffee on, and we're all sitting around the table."
The three of us look at each other.
Rose shrugs and says, "You guys mind?"
"No," Holly and I both say.
We're sitting at the table about fifteen minutes before her sister Terri suggests we play Monopoly. So we do.
I'm pretty competitive and usually stop at nothing to get Park Place and Boardwalk, but I notice that Beth gets sore when I purchase Boardwalk, so when I land on Park Place, I pass on purchasing it. Making enemies with Rose's family is not my goal tonight. Terri, on the other hand, seems to find it funny that I ruined Beth's plans and broke up the two premium spots. When Beth lands on Boardwalk, I offer to sell it to her.
"Don't you dare, Ben," Terri says, leaning in close to me on my right. "Don't let her make you feel guilty. It's good for her to finally have some competition."
"Thanks, Ter," Beth says sarcastically.
I shake my head and sell her Boardwalk anyway.
"So, Ben," Terri says, rubbing my forearm before she rolls. "Are you my sister's boyfriend?" That's some question to ask while rubbing my arm, but I don't know Terri well, maybe she's just a touchy-feely kind of person.
I hesitate to answer, but I do lo
ok at Rose first. Staring into Rose's eyes, I reluctantly answer her sister. "No. I'm not." But I'd like to be. Saying that out loud may be a bit premature though.
Rose and I are still looking at each other when her sister asks, "Are you dating anyone?"
"No. I'm not," I say again.
"Would you like to be?" Terri continues her inappropriate line of questioning.
"Terri, stop," Beth reprimands her.
"What? I'm just interested in our new friend," she says coyly, and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. When I look at Rose, she looks pissed.
"So, Patti..." I say, to break the sudden tension, "wanna sell me Tennessee Avenue?"
She laughs. "And let you have a complete set? I don't think so."
I end up rolling three doubles and put myself in jail.
"You ever in a long-term relationship?" Terri asks, so oblivious to the tension she's causing for Rose.
I consider not answering, but now everyone's looking at me, including Rose. So, with my attention on her, I say, "Yes. Once. In high school."
Rose doesn't react.
"How long?" Terri asks.
"Three years," I say as unemotionally as I can. I really don't get why she's asking me all this now.
"Why'd you break up?" This question comes from Rose, and she asks it so low, I'm not sure the rest of the table heard it.
So, only looking at Rose, I tell her, "I became serious about baseball, and she wanted nothing to do with it."
Rose nods.
"Have you dated since?" Terri asks.
"Yes."
"Are you a player?" She winks this time when she questions me.
"Only baseball."
"I don't believe that," she says.
"You don't have to," I say, and I don't hide the fact that I'm getting annoyed.
"I wonder if Rose believes you." No point in having enemies when you have a sister like Terri, I suppose.
"Does Rose believe me?" I ask Rose.
"Yes." She does.
"Okay, enough with the getting-to-know-Ben shit," Patti says. "Rose, it's your turn."
Rose rolls the dice, and not so subtly, I move my chair closer to her.
23
ROSE
"What the hell was that?" Holly says to me once we're alone without my sisters and out of earshot of Ben.
"I have no idea. She probably wants to get her claws into Ben."
"More like into you. That was definitely something personal against you, Rose."
I don't bother responding to that, because I have no idea what to say.
Ben walks up and puts the last of the dishes into the dishwasher, and I plop in the pod and start it up.
"So where am I sleeping tonight?" he asks.
"You can take my spot in Rose's room," Holly offers, hopefully jokingly.
Ben and I both laugh, and I show him to the back room, where my mother pulled out the couch and made up the bed. "You want one of my dad's t-shirts or something?"
"No, Rose, I'm good. Thanks."
"Okay. Well, if you want a change tomorrow, I can find something."
"Sure."
Before I walk out, I want to make sure he knows how much I appreciate his concern tonight. "Uh. Ben?"
"Yes?" he asks, sitting down on the bed.
"Thank you again for coming tonight. I really...it was just so nice of you. Thank you."
"I'm just glad you were okay."
He smiles and the way his eyes smile with it, nearly knocks me off my feet. It's going to be harder to resist him than I thought.
***
In my room, Holly makes a big stink about how much Ben must like me because of how worried he was.
"He's just a really nice guy. He'd worry about you the same way."
"Maybe," she agrees, "but I know for sure he's crazy about you."
"He's crazy if he likes me, that's for sure."
"Tell me what really happened tonight, Rose," she says seriously now, sitting down on my bed, her paisley pajamas on her lap.
"Pretty much what I told you."
"One sister doesn't like how you're behaving and you take off? I don't buy it."
"Well...the rest of them agreed with her."
"Rose. What's going on? You're perfectly healthy. You're fuckin' cute in your little leg. I swear, it doesn't affect how beautiful you are."
"But it affects how I dance."
"That's what this is, isn't it?"
I don't answer right away. First, I go to my dresser and pull out a pair of plaid flannels and a tee-shirt, and then I sit on the bed next to her and roll up my left yoga pant leg. As I unclasp my prosthetic, I say, "The dancing is why I get depressed. I will never be what I was, and that makes me beyond sad...You can't even imagine." I lay my leg on the floor and kick it under the bed. Then I show Holly what my leg looks like without the prosthetic. I slide the sock off, keeping my own eyes from looking. "And this is why I can never date Ben...or anyone."
Holly's quiet for a moment while she stares at my...thing...my leg. "Rose. Why should this matter?" She touches my knee. The left one.
I look at her face in amazement. "That doesn't gross you out?"
"Gross me...Rose, of course not. Why would it gross me out?"
"Because it grosses me out."
She rubs my leg and hugs me with her other arm. "Rose, you're beautiful. This—" she squeezes my knee "—adds character. You survived, Rose. Be proud."
Sometimes I wish I hadn't.
"But I don't get it," Holly continues. "Why don't you want to date Ben? What's your leg got to do with that?"
I hesitate to answer at first. "Eventually...we'd have to get naked." I shrug. "I don't want him to see me like this...It's ugly."
"It's not ugly. It's just part of who you are now."
"One big ugly scar. That's what I am now."
"Rose. A fucking delivery truck hit you, and you're still fucking gorgeous...not to mention alive. Again...be proud." She pulls me into her arms. "Maybe your sister was right. You should be grateful."
I nod. Of course I should be grateful. But I'm having trouble getting there.
***
When we enter the kitchen in the morning, Ben, donned in a pair of sweats and one of my dad's t-shirts, is standing at the counter, pouring a cup of coffee.
"Good morning, sleepyheads," my mom says to us from the other side of the counter.
"Morning, Mrs. Duncan," Holly says. "Smells good."
"Thanks. Making the stuffing right now. Grab some coffee and a biscuit. Make yourself at home."
"Thanks," she says, all smiles.
Ben already has two more mugs he's pouring coffee into. "Milk?" he asks.
"Please," I say, grabbing the sugar bowl. "Sugar?"
"No thanks."
"Yes, please," Holly answers.
“Regular or maple?”
“Maple? No thanks, regular sugar is good for me,” she says.
"Where'd you get the clothes?" I ask Ben. "You said you didn't need any, so..."
"I didn't. But then Terri knocked on my door and gave them to me, so I thought, 'what the heck?'"
Holly and I pass a glance to one another, before I say to Ben, "I'm sorry. I would've gotten them for you."
"No, Rose," he says, touching my elbow and pulling out a seat for me to sit, "I really didn't need them..."
"Wait a minute." Holly points a finger at Ben. "You don't find it odd that Terri came into your bedroom last night?"
"Well." Ben nods his head from side to side. "Not really. She just...well, she brought in the clothes and sat on the bed, but I told her I was beat. She left right away."
Shit. She sat on the bed?
"Uh, Rose?" Holly's eyes are raised. "How do you feel about that?"
"Holly," I whisper, inconspicuously shaking my head.
"It was nothing, Rose, really," Ben adds.
"It's okay," I say, pretending to shrug it off as if I don't care that my sister went into Ben's room late last night.
&n
bsp; "Sounds like she wanted it to be more than nothing," Holly says sarcastically.
Ben's hand is suddenly on my knee. The left one. That's when it occurs to me that I forgot to sit on his left side.
"I don't like her, Rose," he whispers.
I nod. "Okay."
His fingers move along my thigh, and in no way is he being fresh, but I'm finding it uncomfortable because it's my left leg.
What must he be thinking while he's touching it?
Is he curious?
Is he wondering what it looks like?
Is his stomach churning from the grossness of it?
"These biscuits are awesome, Mrs. Duncan."
"Thank you, Holly."
Holly gets up to pour more coffee.
"Rose," Ben says quietly, his hand still grazing my leg. "When you called last night, you asked about Johnny. We didn't get too far with the conversation."
"Oh...I'm sorry."
"No, no. I'm just wondering...would you like me to take you to visit him?"
"Really? He takes visitors?"
"Of course he does. I think he'd love to see you."
"Really?"
"I have practice tomorrow morning, but I can pick you up at two."
"Oh...um...okay."
"Okay what?" Holly asks when she sits back down.
"We're just talking about a mutual friend."
"You two have mutual friends...who aren't me?"
"Ha ha."
"Someone we met in Orange," Ben says.
***
After breakfast, we all shower and change, then help my mom in the kitchen with preparing dinner, while my sisters help my father with the animals.
“This is some spread, Mrs. Duncan,” Ben tells my mom while he peels potatoes.
“Doesn’t your mother cook a big meal on Thanksgiving?” my mother asks.
“Oh, sure, it just doesn’t look like this. We usually have a turkey, but it’s her lasagna that usually takes center stage on the table,” he jokes.
“Lasagna? On Thanksgiving?”
“Mom, Ben’s Italian.”
“Ah. That explains it, then. What about you, Holly? What’s your Thanksgiving table look like?”
Reaching Rose (Hunter Hill University Book 3) Page 13