by Ali Parker
I nodded. “I know. It’s kind of strange. This is all new to me. I feel like I’ve jumped off the deep end for the first time in my life.”
“Is that a good or bad thing?”
I took a deep breath. “I think good, but things have changed a little in the last week or so.”
“Changed how?”
I tilted my head. “I don’t know. It’s like we were moving full steam ahead and now I kind of feel like he’s putting the brakes on a bit.”
“Maybe this is new for him. Guys tend to get cold feet. Give him his space, and he’ll realize how much he misses you and things will go back to normal.”
“I hope so. I already miss him,” I pouted.
She giggled. “We’ll just have to keep you busy, but not tonight. I’ve got a date.”
“What’s his name?”
“Carl.”
I nodded my head, wondering who the man was that had captured Mandy’s attention. She was a picky woman and tended to be very scrutinizing of any man. I could see this one was different. She liked him a lot. I hoped for her sake that he was a good guy. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being hurt.
“How are the kids?” I asked.
“Good. All of them are still here.”
“That’s good and bad. Melissa?”
Mandy shrugged her shoulders. “Every day she gets a little better. Are you going to stick around for art today?”
I checked my watch. “I can stay for a little bit.”
“Good. It always makes the kids happy to see you.”
“So, do you think you and Terran are going to do the full commitment thing after your little vacation from each other?” she asked.
I groaned. “I don’t know. He runs hot and cold.”
“Maybe because he wants to settle down with you, but also wants his single lifestyle.”
I laughed. “Well, duh, we all want our cake and to eat it too, but life doesn’t work like that.”
“That is a real shame. Imagine how much happier we would all be.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I like the idea of being committed to one person. That person is the one that is always there for you. The person you can share the happiest moments of your life with and the worst. I like the idea of not having to guess at what the other one is thinking because you know each other so well, you just feel it.”
“But what about that first kiss or the first time you have sex or the butterflies you get in your stomach when you see someone you are really attracted to,” she argued.
“I’ve had a lot of those firsts. Well, not the sex one, but the rest of it. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him or when he calls me. And when we kiss, it is always good. I like the comfort and security of knowing him and his body,” I tried to explain.
She sighed. “I don’t know. I think I want that, but then I get into these new, budding relationships and I love the excitement.”
“Terran is almost thirty-five. I’m twenty-eight. I think I’m ready to settle down, and I kind of get the idea he is as well. My modeling career is coming to an end. It seems like that part of me is in the past. I want to start a new chapter in my life, and I think that includes a serious relationship.”
“Wow. Are we getting old? Is that what this is?” she said, scrunching up her nose.
I laughed. “I don’t know if we’re getting old, but I think my life goals are changing a bit. I think I want a family, husband, picket fence the whole nine yards. I’ve seen the world and done a lot of living. Now, I want something more stable.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Holy shit, you’re serious.”
I slowly nodded my head, each nod making me even more sure of myself. “I am.”
“Is he? I mean, is this something you guys have talked about?”
I shook my head. “Not really. I guess you could say it’s just the feeling I get from him. He seems like he is looking for something.”
“And you’re hoping it’s you.”
Did I? I wasn’t really sure. Things had been going so well. It was so easy and comfortable to be around him. I didn’t feel like I had to pretend to be anything but who I was. I had told him about my life, my fears and my biggest secret of all. I’d given myself to him. I knew what that meant to me and had a feeling it had been pretty special for him as well. At least I hoped it had been.
“I guess I am.”
“So, hypothetically speaking, if he were to ask you to marry him, what would you say?”
“Are you talking like if he asked me tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow, next week or even in two weeks, would you say yes?”
I hesitated, tossing around the idea and then nodded my head. “I think I would, yes.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow. I guess I’m not that surprised. He is the guy that won you over. It only makes sense he would win your heart as well.”
“Well, there is nothing to say that he will, but he did tell me he wanted to take me out for a special dinner next week,” I said, unable to stop the smile from spreading across my face.
Mandy clapped her hands together. “Ah, that is so exciting! We have to go shopping. You cannot wear just anything to get proposed to.”
I laughed. “I don’t know if that is what he is going to do.”
She rolled her eyes. “I think we’re beyond the part where he asks you to wear his Letterman jacket.”
“We’ve only been seeing each other a couple of months. I don’t want to get my hopes up only to be disappointed.”
She waved a hand in the air. “Do you think he feels the same way about you?”
I shrugged.
“Have you guys talked at all about how you feel for each other or where the relationship is headed?” she pried.
I grimaced. “No, but it’s just a feeling I get with him. I can’t explain it. He isn’t the type of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. I’m not really like that either.”
“You have to talk about it at some point if you are seriously considering a long-term relationship with him. You can’t assume you know anything.”
“I know, you’re right. Let’s change the subject. We’re supposed to be taking a few days to ourselves, not sitting here hashing out details about the relationship,” I said, not wanting to talk about it anymore.
I couldn’t explain the way I felt. I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t know if that was what I was feeling. I did know Terran was a good man, and I knew for certain he cared about me. I saw it in the way he looked at me, his gentle kisses and those little touches when we weren’t doing anything except for watching TV or walking into a store together. It was the little things that counted. I had never really had that kind of relationship before. It felt like the real thing, even if I couldn’t slap a label on it.
Mandy grinned. “Fine, I’ll let you off the hook—for now.”
“Thank you. You will be the first to know if anything changes. If he says the big L word, I will let you know. Until then, I’m going to enjoy eating cheeseburgers with him and hanging out at the beach like a couple of kids.”
She laughed. “That does sound fun—and youthful.”
“It is. Now, isn’t it time to go color or something?”
She got up from her desk. “It is.”
I followed her down the hall to the rec room and helped her set up for the arts and crafts hour. The whole time, I couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said. Had the newness of our relationship worn off for Terran? Maybe he was bored and ready to move on but didn’t know how to tell me. I knew of his reputation. I had assumed the rumors had been wrong, but what if they weren’t?
My heart literally hurt at the thought of him dumping me—not that we were in an official relationship. I assumed we were, but I never asked. That may have been my mistake. I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath and exhaling, blowing away all the insecurities and worries about something I didn’t even know was happening. I was making a mountain out of a molehill—again. Howev
er, this time, Mandy was the one feeding the mountain instead of trying to talk me off the ledge. That’s what worried me. She was far more experienced in this world than I was. Maybe she had some kind of radar I was lacking. She could see the invisible writing on the wall while I was blinded by lust and something else I would not admit to.
All I could do was wait. A week wasn’t all that long. I’d work, go on some long bike rides and put it out of my mind.
Chapter 26
Terran
I sat at my desk, reviewing the notes for the meeting I was about to go into when the phone buzzed.
“Your appointment is here,” Lena’s voice floated into the room.
I checked my watch and realized the man was about ten minutes early. I quickly finished reviewing who he was and what his business was, preparing to pitch my company as the best one for the job.
“Show him in, please,” I said, pushing the button on the intercom before standing and quickly buttoning my suit jacket.
The door opened and a middle-aged man, not much older than myself, was shown in.
“Mr. Drummond,” I said, extending my hand.
“Mr. Maddox, thanks for seeing me on such short notice.”
“Not a problem at all. Please, have a seat,” I said gesturing to one of the chairs before taking my own behind my desk.
We got right down to business, which is what I liked, and I was sure it was what my clients appreciated. Time was a precious commodity that none of us had a great deal of.
“Do you think you can give us that big launch we need to get our name out there?” Drummond asked.
I smiled. “I know we can.”
Drummond chuckled. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about this company and you specifically. I’m not going to lie, I’ve met with several other agencies. I’m trying to find the right fit. I’m not interested in a lot of hype or this sex sells nonsense. My company is good enough to sell itself.”
I nodded my head. “I understand. I think by pairing the right model with the right style of campaign, we can appeal to the consumers that are most likely to buy your product. I like to target a specific group instead of trying to cast a wide net. That doesn’t always work. But, when we know who wants your stuff, we can push hard and get those people on board. That is going to be your consumer base anyway. There’s no point in marketing to a huge audience who isn’t going to give your protein bars a second look.”
Drummond was smiling. I knew I was making headway. His account wasn’t a big one, yet, but I had high hopes we could bring him into the big time with a successful campaign. I liked the guy, and he was the reason I was in the business. Guys like him were why I wanted to hold onto my company.
“I like it.”
“I’m going to get with my ad guys, and I have a model in mind that can bring a lot of attention to your company. Give me a week, and I’ll have a pitch ready. Then, you can make your decision, but I’ll hope you’ll consider us. We look forward to launching your company and taking you to the next level,” I told him, confident I had sealed the deal.
He nodded his head. “I’m excited to see what you put together. I’ll be in touch.”
I walked him to the door, shook his hand and returned to my desk feeling very confident. I loved closing a deal. It was a high that couldn’t be duplicated. I knew Hailey was the right model for the job. She was fit, not overly skinny and the perfect person to showcase the guy’s nutrition bars. I had sampled the product they sent over, and it was actually very good. I preferred when I liked a product we were helping market. It made it a lot easier to think of creative, convincing ways to sell it.
I jotted down some ideas I wanted to float to the creative team. I was already picturing what Hailey would wear, her hair loose, the curls wild and untamed. I knew her ads would impress the client. He’d sign, and we’d take him to the top of the industry. I’d make sure to have contracts in place that would allow us to continue to handle his marketing needs.
There was a soft knock on the door, before it opened, snapping me out of my daydream. Lena hadn’t announced anyone.
“Hey, are you busy?” Hailey said walking through the door, wearing a pretty dress that showcased her cleavage without looking the least bit sleazy. She was a classy woman, and I found her incredibly attractive.
I put down my pen and stood to greet her. “No, I’m not at the moment. What brings you by?”
I walked toward her, taking the offered coffee and giving her a quick kiss on the lips. She smelled as good as she looked. I wanted to take her right there. I imagined hiking up that short dress and nailing her against the wall.
“I was in the neighborhood,” she said with a smile, pressing her soft body against mine.
Damn, she was truly the most beautiful woman in the world. Seeing her stirred up all those feelings I had been trying to quiet since I’d seen her last. I didn’t want to be this attracted to her. I hated that I turned into a pile of mush whenever she was around. It wasn’t just how gorgeous she was. It was everything about her.
“In the neighborhood?” I asked, trying to clear the visions from my brain that were already causing an erection to come to life.
“I missed you,” she pouted playfully.
I grinned. “Me? How could you miss me?”
She giggled softly. “I don’t know. I missed the way you smelled, breathed, looked.”
“Did you now?”
“I did. Or do, I’m not sure.”
“Have a seat, I’ve got a couple minutes to spare. I’d hate to have a lonely woman out there.”
“I don’t want to keep you.”
I grabbed her free hand and squeezed it. “You’re not keeping me, Hailey. I wasn’t trying to be harsh when I said I needed to focus on work. I thought you understood. Please, I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way. Tell me you didn’t.”
She squeezed my hand. “It’s okay. I know. I need the focus as well. You’re a bit of a distraction,” she winked.
“Sit,” I ordered, taking the seat next to her.
She moved to sit down, her short skirt rising up her toned thigh as she sat down. We were supposed to be taking a few days to take care of things in our personal lives that had been slightly neglected since we started seeing each other. Really, it was my call. I needed to take a step back from her and whatever it was that was happening. I was feeling a bit like an asshole with what I was thinking of doing. I knew Zach thought I didn’t owe her, but I couldn’t help but feeling like I did. Damn if she hadn’t been a virgin this whole thing would have been a lot easier.
“How’ve you been?” she asked as if we hadn’t texted last night.
I knew she was nervous. I was too for no good reason.
“Good. Just wrapped up a new client meeting, which I actually wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh?”
I nodded. “Yes. I think you’d be perfect for the job. You are my shining star here. You would not believe how many clients want you for their campaigns,” I told her, hoping to flatter her.
“Let me know. I’m willing to do what I can for now. But, as I told you, this isn’t long term for me. Remember our deal.”
“I do. And I understand. I won’t pressure you into taking on more than you want.” I held my hands up to show I would back off.
“Thanks. Did you have a good time with Zach yesterday? You guys were going surfing, right?”
Clearly, she didn’t want to talk shop.
“Yes, it was a great day.”
She sipped her coffee, and I all I could do was look at her lips and watch her throat work. I had to close my eyes to steel myself against the desire racing through my veins.
“You? Did you get to visit the orphanage?”
She smiled, her eyes lighting up. “I did. I missed the kids.”
“Good, I’m glad you got to spend time with them.”
I watched as she uncrossed her legs, moving to cross them the other way. The action was slow and deliberate. Her e
yes met mine over her coffee cup. She gave me that familiar coy smile, and I knew exactly what she was thinking about. There was an awkward tension between us, one that was out of place. We usually managed to get along so well without any of that weirdness. I knew it was all on me. I was making things weird.
“Are we okay?” she asked in a soft voice.
I smiled, got up to take her hand and pull her up, pulling her close to me. “We are. You know I just needed some time to get caught up with work and stuff. Just think about how good it will be when we see each other next.”
She nodded her head. “I get it. I’ll let you get back to work. I just wanted to see you. I don’t want to smother you.”
“You’re not smothering me.”
She winked. “Good, now, you owe me for that coffee. That isn’t the cheap stuff. I paid top dollar for that, and I expect to be paid back in kind,” she said with a cheeky grin.
It was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over my head. It was stupid, and I knew I was probably overreacting, but I couldn’t help it. Her comment had been offhanded and meant as a joke, but it reminded me of her obsession with money. She had made it a point to mention it was the good stuff. She was a woman who knew the difference between average coffee and the good stuff. It would be like that with everything in our lives. I started thinking about the ring I would propose to her with. If it wasn’t big enough, there was a good chance she would say no. Wouldn’t that just be the icing on the cake.
“You know, I’ve got to get back to work,” I said, stepping away from her.
She gave me a strange look but quickly nodded her head. “Okay. I understand. Sorry to have kept you so long. I promise I had only intended to drop off the coffee and go.”
“It’s fine. Thanks for stopping by and for the good coffee.”
She stared at me a few seconds. “You’re welcome. Alright then, bye.”
“Oh, can you call Lena later. I do want to get you set up with that new job.”
“I have a meeting with that agent,” she said, her voice stiff.
I nodded. “Should I go through your agent?”